Don’t Retire from Purpose Chris Maduri on Identity, Faith & Your Second Act

Retirement should be the beginning of your next meaningful chapter—not the end of your purpose.

What happens when your career ends and the title, routine, responsibilities, and identity that shaped your life suddenly change? In this powerful episode of the Remarkable People Podcast, David Pasqualone sits down with Chris Maduri, founder of Vibrant Retirement, to explore how to find purpose after retirement, rebuild your identity beyond work, deepen your faith, and create a meaningful second act.

Chris shares much more than retirement advice. He opens up about his own remarkable journey through adoption, struggles with identity, the devastating loss of his best friend, alcohol, divorce, multiple DUIs, jail, and the spiritual transformation that followed.

During one of the lowest seasons of his life, Chris began reading the Bible, slowing down, becoming still, and developing a deeper relationship with God. That process helped him begin seeing himself differently—not according to his failures, income, career, achievements, or the opinions of other people, but through a completely different understanding of identity, grace, responsibility, and purpose.

In this conversation, you’ll discover:
• Why financial preparation alone does not prepare you for retirement
• How career and achievement can become dangerously connected to identity
• Why you should begin designing your “second act” years before retirement
• How to balance work, family, health, faith, and enjoying life now
• Why stillness, prayer, listening, and self-awareness matter
• How Chris rebuilt his life after addiction, DUIs, divorce, and jail
• Why failure does not mean your life or purpose is over
• How small acts of service can reveal a much larger purpose
• Why purpose ultimately has to extend beyond yourself
• How to stop endlessly preparing and begin taking meaningful action
• Why you do not need to be perfect before you can add value to someone else’s life

One of Chris’s most powerful insights from the episode:
“If you’re looking for purpose, it has to be outside of you. No one’s purpose is to help themselves.”

Whether you are 25, 45, 65, approaching retirement, already retired, experiencing a major life transition, or simply wondering, “What does God want me to do next?”—this conversation is for you.

Your career may eventually end.

Your job title may change.

But if you are still here, your life still matters—and there is still good you can do.

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🎙️ CONNECT WITH CHRIS MADURI
Chris Maduri is the founder of Vibrant Retirement, where he helps people think beyond the financial side of retirement and ask better questions about identity, time, relationships, purpose, and their next chapter.

⏱️ EPISODE CHAPTERS
00:00 Retirement Doesn't Mean Retiring from God's Purpose
01:33 What You Can Expect to Gain from This Episode
02:08 Why Financial Retirement Planning Isn't Enough
03:27 Busyness, Midlife & “What Happened to My Life?”
05:56 Designing Your Second Act Before Retirement
07:30 Don't Wait Until Retirement to Start Living
08:52 Work-Life Balance & Escaping Hustle Culture
10:50 Chris Maduri's Story: Childhood, Adoption & Identity
14:02 Loss, Alcohol & the Beginning of a Downward Spiral
15:18 DUIs, Jail & the Turning Point
17:22 How Chris Found God While in Jail
18:15 The Bible, Identity & How God Uses Broken People
20:29 Redemption, Grace & Second Chances
22:39 Stop Living for Other People's Approval
24:55 Rebuilding Life, Marriage, Family & Faith
27:04 Leaving the Traditional Career Path
28:41 Feeling Lost? Start by Being Still
31:46 Prayer, Stillness & Meditation
33:17 Training Your Mind Like a Muscle
35:04 Physical Movement & Flexibility
36:20 Retirement Arrived—Now What?
36:46 Purpose Has to Be Outside of You
37:40 Finding Purpose Through Serving Others
38:20 Start Moving Before You Know the Destination
39:10 The Power of Saying Yes
39:30 The Men's Retreat That Changed Chris's Direction
41:00 Bible Study, Ministry & Service
41:52 Vibrant Retirement & Connecting with Chris
45:09 Final Lessons on Balance, Faith & Imperfection
45:52 Don't Apologize for Who You're Not
46:20 The Gifts Inside You Are Waiting to Come Out
46:48 Listen. Do. Repeat. For Life!

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If this conversation helped you, please LIKE the video, SUBSCRIBE to the channel, and SHARE this episode with one person who may be approaching retirement, questioning their purpose, rebuilding their life, or simply wondering what God has for them next.

Your share may be exactly what that person needs today.

#PurposeAfterRetirement #ChrisMaduri #RemarkablePeoplePodcast

Transcript

David Pasqualone: 0:01

Hello, friend. Welcome to this week's episode of The Remarkable People Podcast. Today, we're dealing with an issue that most of us will have to face. Now, why I say most of us, it says, "It is appointed unto man wants to die than the judgment." We don't know when we're going to die. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. We're not guaranteed today. The present is a gift from God. And today's guest is going to talk about, for those of us who do live what humanity would consider a full life and we get to retirement, now what? A lot of people lose their identity when they retire, and they feel like they don't have a purpose, and they sit down and they watch TV and they basically waste life., Newsflash, if you're still here and I'm still here and Chris is still here, there's a purpose God has for each of us. When we retire from the workforce, that doesn't mean we retire from God's plan for our life. So at this time, ladies and gentlemen, Chris, welcome to the show.

Chris Maduri: 1:04

Thank you so much for having me on.

David Pasqualone: 1:06

Oh, it's a pleasure and honor. So we're recording this episode, but it's an evergreen episode. People can listen to it the day it releases, 6 years from then, or 60 years. But if someone around the world is sharing this moment with us, Chris, what do you guarantee they're going to get out of this episode that they can use to apply to their lives and have more fulfillment, joy, and peace?

Chris Maduri: 1:33

That's a great question, and I guarantee that they're going to come away with new ideas and hopefully inspirations for how they can live out their most vibrant and purpose-driven life, as long as they stay open.

David Pasqualone: 1:50

Awesome. Awesome. So you're a young guy, and you haven't hit this age. So talk to us, how did this moment of retirement get in the forefront of your life that this is what you spend most of your professional life discussing?

Chris Maduri: 2:07

Yeah really it was just from being in the industry. I had my background was in finance, and I had shifted over and done some work in wholesaling for a mutual fund company a pretty large one. And then the 2008 financial crisis happened. And at that point, I was looking for, different paths, different ways to be of service and landed in the insurance industry. And the more time I spent there, the more, especially having a background in finance and on the wealth accumulation side, just realizing that the information that people had been given is not necessarily complete, shall we say. And people going into retirement thinking that it was just accumulating financial assets, and still feeling incredibly unprepared, not just from a financial sense, but once they get into retirement. We spend 40 years planning for the financial side of retirement, and about four minutes planning for the actual psychological, the emotional, the purpose side of retirement. Just really wanted to found inspiration in trying to help educate and give people information, and they can take what serves and leave the rest.

David Pasqualone: 3:26

Yeah, and that's a great quote. We're born, I believe one of the greatest distractions satan uses in our life is keeping people busy. Keeping bus- people busy, where they're not even thinking about, what am I doing and why? Okay, I'm told I need to go to, in America, let's say. You're born. At five years old, you're going to pre-K. Or k- kindergarten. Now, they go to pre-K. Then you spend six f- 18 years of your life in school, and then when you're done, you're supposed to, w- the way we grew up, is go to college, and then you have a family, and you have kids, and you're trying to not just prepare for your life, but for weddings and for the future and to buy toys. And then you're 45, 50 years old, and then your kids are out of the house, and things slow down, and then you finally get a second to breathe and say, "What happened w- to my life?" That's what I believe happens to most people, what… call the midlife crisis. They actually just- Yeah … stop and think. Yeah. So what you're saying is, before you get to that point, think ahead. So when you're working with clients, what are some of the common landmines or pitfalls you're seeing that people are falling into, and how do you recommend they avoid those? We are going to take a quick break to let you know that our sponsors, MyPillow.com, ConsoleVault.com, OmahaProteinPopcorn.com, and others all support you. If you go to their websites, you not only get the best pillows and blankets and mattress toppers and in-vehicle safes or delicious protein popcorn, but you save 10% or more, in the MyPillow case, 30 to 80%, and then you usually get free shipping on your purchase. So you're not only getting what you're going to buy anyways, which is best in class, you're going to sleep and live better, but with promo code REMARKABLE, you're going to save money, you're going to support companies that are pro-God, pro-America, and pro-you while you support our show, and we're hopefully supporting you. So it's just this beautiful everyone helps each other for good. So I'm David Pasqualone. Let's get back to this episode of the Remarkable People Podcast now.

Chris Maduri: 5:56

Yeah and I try to th- think of different things almost as, like hubs and spokes, right? Because it's all part of one plan or, one s- let's say a second act of life, right? Just like you're talking about, we're on that treadmill for the entire duration of our working lives, and then that moment comes, and for a lot of people, it's like a light switch. It's like it's on, and then it's off, and then there's the now what. So really, what I wanna encourage people to do is to think about all of the different aspects, all of the different areas, and how you're going to spend time, and think of all of the things that you've put off your entire life, right? I wanna learn to play guitar. I wanna learn to, I'm going to get in shape. I'm going to find connection with God. I'm going to… Whatever it is that you've wanted to do, explore, right? And it doesn't have to be when you're retired. Ideally, maybe in the 5, 10 years before, you start creating those pockets of time. Maybe we take our foot off the gas just a little bit going into it and go, "All right. What's this c- what's this lifestyle going to look like?" And spend time thinking about it. Do I wanna travel? Do I wanna sit here? Do I wanna mentor someone? Do I still wanna work in some capacity, but on my own terms, right? Was there a business idea that I was never able to, fully put in place because I needed to send my kids to college and stuff like that? All of these things that we've put off to the side, now is the time for that

David Pasqualone: 7:30

Yeah, and we had a guest on the show and recently, and he planned his whole life, worked hard, did well, made money, checked all the boxes. Him and his wife were retiring, in late 60s. Got his friends together, took a trip, and in the first weekend The dude fell on the ground, hit his head, and then he s- had the most remarkable story, which you can listen to on the podcast, but then he ended up dying a few months later. Now, thankfully he was a Christian, he knows God, he's in eternity with our Father, and he has a gr- he had a great testimony to share on Earth, and now he's celebrating in eternity. But his story is a complete just taking what y- you are saying and showing how real it is. He planned his whole life for retirement to learn the guitar, to travel, to do all these things, and then three days into it he dies and never gets to do any of it. So what do you recommend people do To balance it while they're in the mix. Like we were talking before the show how- Yeah … you were just at the softball game, and, you got family commitments. I got family commitments. How do you juggle and still fulfill not only your purpose and plan ahead, but also enjoy the journey?

Chris Maduri: 8:52

Yeah. I think part of it is prioritizing that balance, right? And making sure that you're taking care of yourself. Because if you're… You're not going to be good to anyone else if you're just constantly depleted, constantly short-fused, have nothing filling you back up, and just leading your life for your kids and your boss and things like that. So I think it's really important that people be a little bit selfish, right? That's not a bad thing. It's just striking that balance and saying, "All right, where are my pockets of time?" And being proactive about it, planning for it, letting people know about it in advance and taking that time. For me, I think, that work/life balance is critical. Because when I'm just go, I can feel my energy just getting depleted and getting run down. And for me, I have some autoimmune stuff that goes on, usually when protracted periods of stress come in, and so I know what's waiting for me on the other end if I don't balance things out. And I really encourage people to try that, and I know we think that if we take a day off from work, the… everything's just going to blow up and… But you kinda have to trust that even if it doesn't get done in the same way, giving a little bit of ownership to other people, asking for help, allowing things to w- kinda get moved to someone else is really important. We just kinda have to release a little bit and r- release a little bit of this expectation of hustle culture and productivity and everything else. Because at the end of the day, who we are is not a function. It's not just the sum of what we do, right? It's how we interact with other people, whose lives we're a blessing to and how we can create harmony and good energy within the world. All of those things, even if they don't have… come back to you monetarily, they come back to you.

David Pasqualone: 10:50

Yeah, and how did you learn this? We just skipped through right to where you are today and what you're up to. But talk about where were you born, what was your upbringing like, what was your journey that brought you to this point where you recognized at an early age, "I gotta start planning ahead myself, and I wanna help people with this."

Chris Maduri: 11:09

Yeah, and this was not something that happened at an early age, to be honest with you. I may look a little younger than I am, but almost 48 years old at this point, and it honestly, it took m- the majority of it, I'd say my midlife crisis was a spiritual one, and that was when things had shifted for me. I grew up in Connecticut Stamford, Connecticut, and, lived a great life. I have a, a twin brother two great parents. And growing up, I did always feel a little bit different than other people. And you don't, at least at that time, right? In the '80s and the'90s, we didn't have the same set of resources to understand our children. So as someone that is, I can realize now, a highly sensitive adult and was a highly sensitive child you feel a lot, and those things don't really feel like gifts at the time, especially if you're a boy at that time. I always loved sports and, loved to play, but wasn't like that uber-masculine type as a lot of other kids are. And my brother and I also were adopted, so I think that kinda, as a child, always kinda kept me, like, wondering about who I was, where I came from, and everything else. And again, I had amazing parents. It was a blessing, and I truly feel like that was, for the adoptees out there, for me your birth parents were a vessel to bring you to, your mother, and I have an amazing mom and truly just grateful for that life. But as a child, it just didn't, you feel a little bit of a, a lack of identity or loss of identity. And I chose really poor ways to numb that and not deal with those things growing up. So my 20s and 30s were spent with really just living unhealthy lifestyles, b- burning the candle on both ends, constantly looking to party, looking for distraction, looking for any if there was any period or opportunity for stillness, I was, looking at either putting media in there or, TV, sports drinking, whatever it is in the way, and it w- just brought me to this place where I was, really unhappy. I had no relationship with God. I had very limited relationships, I think, with people because I wouldn't allow people in, and really was-- felt this other side of me that was very sensitive. Really kinda j- just living life with a mask on at all times and, yeah, I would say the impact of alcohol and that has had on my life has been pretty significant. And when I was about 28, my-- I was out one night with my best friend, and we went out and stayed out very late, and he ended up driving home and not making it. And that was, what? 2006. And The sense of loss that I had from someone that I-- Like I said, that was n- that was a big hit. Not someone that kept a lot of friends. I would joke, I'm like, "I just lost thirty percent of my friends right there." And I would love to say that inspired me to, clean my life up and everything else, but that was just the beginning of the descent. And I ended up moving to Florida which was probably not the best lifestyle for someone that is having issues with alcohol. Getting a DUI down there. It was a mess. And then actually moving back up here about a year later. And got married, had a couple of kids, and ended up getting divorced shortly after the birth of my second son and getting another DUI. And at that point, got to spend some time in jail for two months, and it was the greatest and worst experience of my life. Once I got past the fear and everything else. And it's just funny that, God gives you those subtle nudges in life and says, "Come here, over here. Come on over here," and gives you the opportunities you know to find Him. And then those messages start to get a little bit louder and a little bit louder. And then, I had plenty of time, and that was where I found a relationship with God, and it just brought me to a point where I realized that I was living my life just to numb, truly just selfish living. It was always about what I wanted, and I needed to make some changes in there. And, happy to say since that time it's been a lot of growth to get to this point,

David Pasqualone: 16:21

yeah, and we're going to continue in that journey. Yeah. Okay.

Chris Maduri: 16:24

And I'm glad you- It's not talking,

David Pasqualone: 16:25

but See … no. That's perfect. What I wanted to do is I wanted to stop and address a couple things, 'cause you used that term exactly what I wrote in my notes. You were just numbing the pain. So you were going through life, you were numbing the pain, and it reminded me there's a, there's verses in the Bible, Old Testament and New, but it basically God says, "Be still and know that I'm God." Sometimes He doesn't just tell us or this is a good idea. He commands us, and yet we try to, in our flesh, we don't sometimes realize what we're doing, but what we're doing is just trying to fill and try to fill a void and ignore God, and it doesn't help us. It's like anytime we follow God, it works out great, and then you hear people, "I went to prison, I heard all that God stuff." And you hear of other people like, "I went to jail, and man, it changed my life." So did you actually get approached with the gospel while you were in jail, or was it after when you got out you were seeking truth? Where did your relationship with God come from?

Chris Maduri: 17:22

It was while I was there. Yeah. I before that I had I used to listen to Joel Osteen a lot, and I grew up Catholic, which was not the it didn't fit with me, as someone that I didn't need any help harboring guilt and shame, so Yeah,

David Pasqualone: 17:42

there's enough

Chris Maduri: 17:45

Sorry, go ahead.

David Pasqualone: 17:47

No. I said there's enough in life the growing up and that… I grew up in outside of Boston, Milford, Mass. Okay. And most of my family came from Italy, and the community was Italy, Portuguese, Irish, and most people went to the Catholic Church, and man, you were just loaded with guilt and shame just to make sure you kept tithing and showing up on Sundays, right?

Chris Maduri: 18:07

Yep.

David Pasqualone: 18:07

Yeah. Yeah. S- so but go on with what you… So you- Yeah … you're actually in jail, and how did

Chris Maduri: 18:13

you- Yeah… David Pasqualone: Just picked up a Bible, while I was there. I read a lot while I was there. The two books that I spent the most time with were the Bible and Eckhart Tolle's New Earth, and it really just opened my eyes up a little bit to just that world, and I… Realizing that I had been a product of my own thoughts for my entire life, I had this idea who I was, and it wasn't a child of God. It wasn't, someone that is a gift. I would just focus on every shortcoming that I had, and my idea of who was in the Bible and the stories of the Bible, mostly'cause I wasn't paying attention when I was at Catholic Church was very different, right? You thought that everyone's perfect, and everyone's like Jesus, and I could never be like that. And you start to realize that God uses the broken, right? Every character in the Bible is flawed. Every story comes from that place, and that's the point, is that we're not Jesus, right? We are not perfect. There is no expectation that we're supposed to be perfect, but that we have a heart that's pointed towards God, right? Like David, the greatest king that ever lived, and a man with a heart after God, that was a severely flawed individual. And I'm like, "If I… I don't have to be perfect. I'm loved because of who I am, because I'm a child of God, not because of what I do, not because I can run the fastest, throw the ball the hardest, get the greatest grades, make the most money. I'm loved because I'm loved." And that to me just, it just opened my eyes to a whole new life, and that was, when I was there. And I have to say it… Once I started to get comfortable and allow myself to open up to other people there, I had just great conversations with people and takeaways, and talking about life and, what we'd hope to do and accomplish afterwards, and really started to create a different life.

David Pasqualone: 20:29

Yeah, and that's just we're all going to have problems for the rest of our existence. But once you've trusted Christ, that's for whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. There's not a nationality, there's not a type of person. It's just whoever. Any human that calls upon God and puts their trust and faith in Him, God's going to save. And then I don't wanna speak for you, but for me, I know when I trusted Christ, everything changed.'Cause even if I was in the lowest, darkest place on earth, there was always that peace inside of that, just security or assurance or confidence that I know God's with me and it's going to be okay. Is that what you experienced too?

Chris Maduri: 21:10

Yeah. Yeah. I just felt so much love and support, and from those times of stillness, when you have nothing else to do, you can just sit there and realize that I can close my eyes at any time, and I can s- just start to feel what's around me. I can take my brain out of things and just feel the energies that are around me, and the love and the support that's there, and knowing that whatever it is I did, I can do again. I can do better. Doesn't mean there's not consequences to life. Whatever, we are responsible for our actions. But there's always another chance to redeem ourselves and to, to make amends and to ask forgiveness, and to try to do better. And that shift from, I need to be perfect, I'm flawed, I've messed up, to I'm saved and it's okay, is just such freedom, and it's such a gift. And, I hope everyone in life can find that and experience it so that we don't have to keep putting the pressure on ourselves to be perfect and, even going back to work and things like that, it's like I have to do it and it's gotta be on my own terms, and you realize that there is a much better life with God and allowing God to guide your steps. Because He'll put things in front of you that you never even thought of. And shifting from someone that constantly found reasons to say no to someone that looks for the breadcrumbs and just says yes. I had a massive fear of public speaking. The idea that I'm sitting here right now having this conversation is wait, what? It-- everything always felt like it needed to be scripted or like I needed to be perfect or, whatever the case may be.'Cause I was focused so much on what other people thought of me, and never took the time to ask, what does God think of me? What do I think of myself? And those are the only two that matter

David Pasqualone: 23:23

And that's a great actual thought and quote. You were worried about what other people thought about you, not what God's thought about you. And once you figure out what God thinks about you, everything's just peaceful, right?

Chris Maduri: 23:36

Yes.

David Pasqualone: 23:37

All right, so let's do this, Chris. You're going through life and you're medicating. You end up having… you get married, you have a couple sons. You end up, y- you already lost your friend, 30% of your friends in that one shot. Then you end up in jail where you find the Lord, and so you're getting this healing from the inside out. But like you said, you made a great comment that a lot of people from the pulpit, sadly, they're preaching a false truth. God forgives and God has grace, but He's also a just God and a righteous God, and there's consequences to our actions. And what I've seen in my life a- and those around me, the people who are truly sincere and know they've done wrong, they're the last person to say, "I deserve to be blanket forgiven and have no consequences." Yeah. But the people who are the narcissist and the fakes, they're the ones like, "Oh, I have asked for forgiveness, so let me go. No charges against me." So it's like you can see the difference between God and satan when you really look close. But where does your life go from there, Chris? So now your life's changing. You have a divorce behind you, but you have two sons, and I'm sure-

Chris Maduri: 24:51

I had a son and a daughter. Oh, a son and a daughter. Yeah. Okay. A son and a daughter, yeah. Yeah. It it almost felt like a restart in many ways. So coming out of that, I was actually in a relationship with my, my now wife, at the time girlfriend who was and is just the most amazing and supportive person I've met, and really helped kinda guide me. She had a much stronger foundation with God, and really helped me to transition from this place where it was, so private, to being able to talk to our kids about it, to be able to share the faith. And we had gotten married shortly thereafter. We got married, so this was in 2012, got married in '14 had our first child together in'15, and then we had another child not another child. We had our fourth child in 2017, and it's just, it's amazing the way, like the overlap. So our my first marriage had a daughter, then had a son. Here, daughter and a son. My first marriage was very much the it was the, the breadwinner was working and a lot of identity and purpose was wrapped up in that. And you'll hear me talk a lot about the masculine and the feminine energies and things like that. Very much embodying the masculine energy for the household and everything, and, she'd spend more time with the kids than I would in our marriage. She's someone that works incredibly hard. And I spend more time with a lot of help and everything but I also get to be the coach. I get to be the primary parent. I get to see them at dinner. I get to do all of these things, and, it's like a redo in many ways, just- this blessing, and as I've grown in my faith, I get to share my faith with my kids and help them to, see themselves through God's eyes as much as I can, and get involved with the church, and start to take chances. I'd worked as a wholesaler, like I said, on the annuities and life insurance side. And then probably about six years ago, yeah actually right before COVID, had decided to go out on my own, start my own company, and start to work with people a little bit more on my own terms, and doing things that really filled my heart and gave me a sense of purpose. It doesn't always have to be about what brings in the dollars, i'll spend time talking to people about retirement and their goals and their purpose. Three a fee. It's not, from a, a capitalist standpoint, it's not probably the best strategy. But from a fill your heart standpoint and be a blessing to others it, it pays in very different ways. And I'm just grateful to be able to do that without a lot of the pressures that come with being the primary breadwinner and make, having to make decisions through that lens.

David Pasqualone: 28:02

Yeah. Now, there's people listening to this from all over the world, men, women, 100 plus countries a week. But to the people listening who maybe haven't found that peace, they're like, "Hey, man, I'm your age and I still don't have peace. I'm still medicating. I still can't be still." What advice do you have for them? What steps or, the catalyst. For you and I, it sounds like it was both Christ, that relationship. Yeah. But what, what message, if you were sitting down privately with Bob or Sue and they're explaining their situation,"I don't have money to retire. I'm worried about it. What purpose did I even have? I don't have peace. I'm constantly running from silence," what would you say to them?

Chris Maduri: 28:41

Close your eyes. That… To, to me, that is the greatest gift that we can have, is just close your eyes, feel your body, feel the tension in your body, feel those points where you're holding on. And then see if you can release any of it. The first step, I think, is just bringing attention to anything in life, right? And recognizing it, 'cause we're all built differently. And it starts within ourselves, so getting to know ourselves and getting to be honest with ourselves. Not, I think a lot of people go down that path, and it's like spiritual ego comes into place and, you just create a whole different identity that's not authentic to who you are. But when you find your authentic and true self, and then you start showing love to that, not to who you're not, right? We have that pattern of always looking at what we don't have, where our shortcomings are, instead of getting to go, "Who am I? What motivates me? Where do I feel purpose? Where does my heart feel tingles at what point in life?" And recognizing that. But if you never take the time to be still and you never take the time to close your eyes, life's just going to go by, right? You're just going to keep living, putting on a different mask for whoever's in front of you, right? When I'm with the guys, I'm one person. When I'm in the church, I'm a different person. When I'm at work, I'm a different person. And at least for me, the more time I spend feeling inauthentic, the harder it is. I just feel that ick inside. So yeah. Yeah for me, it's just close your eyes and get to know yourself.

David Pasqualone: 30:36

Yeah, and I… Oh man, so many things you just said triggered other thoughts. But like- Again, even within our churches, but especially society, if you're living a different life in different circumstances, there's something fundamentally wrong in your character. A- and I mean that. I challenge anyone. There's obviously wisdom and discretion. You behave in a certain manner in the situations you are in. But when your character, like you're at church and you're holier than thou, and then you go out with the boys and you're getting drunk and looking at other women, not your wife, or other men, not your husband, there's some serious problems with your character and your soul that you need to get right with God. And then when you're talking about people just, they see the need, what do you do? Like you said, step one is close your eyes. Step two is identify where that stress is building. But how do you- Yeah … what do you… We both know Christ is the cure. But what are the- Yeah … daily things that you're doing to release that stress and to get the perspective correct?

Chris Maduri: 31:45

Yeah. For me that, my-- So that's how my day starts. I wake up in the morning, try to get up a little bit early before the kids get up. I

David Pasqualone: 31:53

find stillness. And

Chris Maduri: 31:53

how old are your kids now? The two that are with us full time are 8 and 10 and then 15 and 14 are the other two. So sometimes we're, there's four in the house, sometimes there's two in the house. But on a daily basis, it's the two. So you know, I wake up, I find a place within the house, and I just sit and I close my eyes and I pray. And for me, prayer and meditation are almost two sides of the same coin, because I think a lot of people think of prayer as an outward, and sometimes they think of it almost as a wish list that they're giving to God of, "Change this for me. Do this for me. Do that for me." But the other side is that- With it?

David Pasqualone: 32:39

I said people rubbing the genie in the lamp, not having a relationship with God. Yeah. They're just

Chris Maduri: 32:43

asking

David Pasqualone: 32:44

for stuff.

Chris Maduri: 32:45

They're asking for it, but they never listen. So when God actually is talking to you in that still, small voi- that, that voice, and it might not be an audible voice. It might be a feeling. It might be a sense. It might be, a tingle somewhere in your body to draw attention to it, to relax it, to release it. That's a lot of how kind of my day gets planned, 'cause I'll start getting those feelings. And I'm not a monk sitting there with no thoughts or anything like that. Just like anyone else. When people say that they can't meditate, you have to recognize that it's a muscle, right? Concentration's a muscle that has to be built. And, when you ask God for strength, God gives you the weights. He doesn't give you the muscles. So you have to actually do the work, and sit there, and you breathe, and a thought comes, and then you let it go, and you come back to it, and you come back to it. And it takes- A little while before you get comfortable not judging yourself for the thoughts, but you recognize that they're just thoughts, and we actually have the ability to control them. So if it's something that serves me, then I go, "Oh, okay." That's something-- it might be guiding me to call my mom that day, call a certain client, do something different or go to yoga or whatever it is. That time to me is critical because it really helps me to set the energy for the day and how I need to show up. If I don't take that time and I wake up and I'm like, "Oh, God, I gotta get out of the house, I gotta get to work, I gotta do this, I gotta do that," I'm just constantly judging every shortcoming that I have. It's a joke. I know I'm going to forget stuff. Like my daughter, when the kids are getting ready in the morning,

David Pasqualone: 34:39

yeah,

Chris Maduri: 34:39

more, more often than not, if someone's going to be like, to my son like, "Hey, you forgot this," it's probably going to be her saying it than me at age 10. And it isn't to say I shouldn't do better, but I can't constantly be hard on myself for the things, that the small failures that come up in the day. Yeah. So that to me is the m- most important thing that I do. And the second, I would say, is to move my body because I wake up, I'm not getting any younger here, and I'm stiff, and I can feel the inflexibility in my body is going to show up as inflexibility outside of my body. So if I'm not looking around and if my point of focus is just, "Here's what I have to do today," I'm not allowing for all of the other things to come in, the people that I can help. Who knows? You just don't know where things are going to go. It's I don't think Moses… I think the, the burning bush was going on, and Moses was the only one that saw it 'cause he was actually aware and looking around. But if you're never looking around for it, all that's going to be in front of you is your calendar and your to-do list.

David Pasqualone: 35:56

Yeah, 100%. Yeah. And people are like, "I don't hear God's voice." And the Bible's very clear. It says, "My sheep hear my voice, and they know me." They recognize that's their father. Yeah. But if my father is talking, and I run 100 miles away, it's not God's fault you don't hear his voice. It's your fault for running too far away. So we need to come back, right? Or- Yeah … in order to get that relationship.

Chris Maduri: 36:17

Totally.

David Pasqualone: 36:18

Yeah.

Chris Maduri: 36:19

Absolutely.

David Pasqualone: 36:20

So now, Chris, we got people who are 25, 45, 65 listening to this- Yeah … episode, and they're like, "Man, I've gone my whole life. I'm 65. I'm about to retire," in the traditional American sense and, or maybe even the European sense. But they're- Yeah … "i had no purpose yet, and now what am I going to do?" What would you say to those people? Or what are you going to say?'Cause they're listening.

Chris Maduri: 36:43

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I think if you're looking for purpose, it has to be outside of you, right? No one's purpose is to help themselves. So whether it's looking to God for that guidance or taking a look around you of how you can be a blessing to others, have the awareness to look around, right? Have the awareness to see how you can brighten someone's day. These things don't have to be big, right? The small miracles can just be a smile that helps someone to, just feel good. Hold, holding a door for somebody. Doing… Y- it doesn't have to be… We all wanna be the person that, goes to Walmart and pays for, the Christmas gifts for all the kids and everything else. These gestures are wonderful, but, th- it's not something that most of us can do on a daily basis. So looking around to see how you can be a blessing to others, I think is the biggest step towards the purpose, and in finding that for ourselves. Just trying to do different things. If you're, if at that point in life and you're 65 and you haven't identified your purpose, take the time to think about what you would do if you had unlimited resources and unlimited time. Where would that be? Where would that take you? That's probably a good place to start is where you're pulled, right? When no one else is around. Unless you're pulled to a bar, it's probably not your purpose.

David Pasqualone: 38:19

Yeah. Yeah. No, that's so true. If you're not in motion, you're not going to score a goal, right? Yeah. You, if you're the soccer ball and you're not rolling a direction. So it's better to start moving a direction, and then as long as you're listening, if God's going to redirection. But start moving a direction. The Bible says, "Where there's no vision, the people perish, but he that keepeth the law, happy is he." When you have the vision of the law, God's word, and you're following it, man, you have an amazing life. A remarkable life. Yeah. But when you're just floundering, it's terrible. So-

Chris Maduri: 38:50

Yeah… David Pasqualone: do Between your birth and today, is there anything we missed in your journey before we move forward? And again, I'm sure we missed a lot, but significant that you wanna discuss with the world right now. That's a big part of it. The only thing that I would say was really just starting to say yes. The- as the more comfortable I got with being my authentic self, the, the biggest, chance that I took, which has been so rewarding, was going on a men's retreat with the church a couple of years ago. I wasn't involved in the church. I was like someone that I'd go, I'd sit, wasn't really comfortable talking, just felt like there are much more knowledgeable people than me. I don't really know anything. I don't really have anything to say. And spending that time with those men was like, you know what? I don't need to know who's going to be there. I don't need to know what's going to be discussed. It's just something that pulled me there, and it was probably the first time that I just said yes, and since then- I just, the more things that come up, the more yeses that come up. And I'll spend time. It's, th- there are plenty of nos, but for me, what I generally will do is will sit and close my eyes and ask myself three times whether this is for me. And I feel energy a lot, so if I feel it on the front side of my body, then it's usually a yes. If I start feeling it in my shoulders and tension, then it's probably a no. And if I do that a couple of times and I'm getting the nos, then sometimes I'll ask myself why, more to understand it and where the reluctance is and the why, and it's usually because it's self-serving in some way or it doesn't feel genuine. But since that time I started hosting a Bible study this year. I started became a, a Stephen minister in the church. All of these things that I'm like, "You know what? This might be for me." I don't have to feel like, as one of those people that would always feel like we're always preparing, and then you never launch. It's like, "I'm not good enough yet. When this happens…" And just saying, "You know what? You can add value here. You don't have to be perfect." And if it's not right, then people have the ability to choose and say no. But the constant preparation really has just held me back from s- so many different things. But other than that, yeah, I think that kind of takes me to where we are today. All

David Pasqualone: 41:50

right. Yeah. And where are you today? Where is Chris? If someone wants to get ahold of you, how do they continue the conversation?

Chris Maduri: 41:58

Yeah. I'm currently, I'm in my office. I have a company called Vibrant Retirement. It's based in Darien, Connecticut. And you can go to my website, which is vibrantretirement.com. Same name. You can find me on Instagram and message me, and all my contact information will be on the website. And, I really encourage people, if you're- Looking for just some sort of, not even guidance, because a lot of times it's not me making the suggestion. A lot of times it's just asking a question and giving someone else something to think about, 'cause you have to search your own heart. I can't tell you how to spend your time in retirement. I can help you to ask the right questions though, and figure out where y- where your path is meant to be. And recognize that these aren't straight paths. Things aren't linear, right? If you are someone that kind of studies like human makeup and things like that, I'm like a manifesting generator. So my whole life I would be like, "Oh, God, I never finish anything," only to realize that I'm literally programmed to be like, have a ton of interests and to spend my time in a lot of different areas, and that's the way God built me, because that's how my purpose can show. If I was someone, if I was meant to be someone that sat in the office and just grinded away every day, then he probably would have a different build for me. The, all of these things are just saying yes to being open and aware of different things. There's so much of life that we just don't know about. Instead of feeling bad for what we don't know about, maybe have a casual interest in it and see what you can pull out from it

David Pasqualone: 43:37

Yeah, no, and that's just it. We're all different. There's commonality and foundational things that are the same with every human, but then God also makes us different and unique. We all have different purpose. Like your heart and your liver and your toenail, all important, but they do different things. So ladies and gentlemen, don't feel like one person's more important to you, more important than you, because everybody literally has a purpose or the whole falls apart. So Chris, man, thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you. And I think you mentioned it, but if somebody wanted to reach you, what's the best way to reach you, the most consistently direct route?

Chris Maduri: 44:18

Yeah. Would be the contact information from my website Vibrant Retirement. My email it's chris@vibrantretirement.com. That's a really good place to start. I don't think anyone wants my phone number, but Yeah, no, probably don't give that on the air. Don't

David Pasqualone: 44:32

give that on the air.

Chris Maduri: 44:33

Yeah. They- Don't want you- you gotta click a button for that.

David Pasqualone: 44:36

Yeah. No, not that we don't wanna give it to our audience, but we don't wanna give it to bots scraping the internet and you're getting bombarded with calls for a new website,

Chris Maduri: 44:45

exactly. Then I gotta change my number.

David Pasqualone: 44:48

Yeah, exactly. And I don't know, for our international listeners, in America, I… Now, I build websites with my company, but I must get sometimes 10 calls a day with solicitors from overseas trying to sell my company a website. So that's why I made that joke. But anyways- Appreciate that. Chris, it's been awesome talking to you today. And like you explained, there's highs, there's lows, there's ups, there's downs, but we gotta find balance. The Bible says a false ba- balance is abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is His delight. So ladies and gentlemen, just like Chris, just like me, just like every human who's ever walked the planet or who ever will you're going to have to learn how to balance things, and we're not always going to get it right. Like Chris says, you don't have to be perfect, but you can be whole and perfect through Christ. So Chris, before we end this episode, there any other final thoughts you wanna share with our audience or anything we missed in your journey to date?

Chris Maduri: 45:44

Yeah. And actually, I'm glad that you asked, 'cause you'd made such a good point at the end. And- Don't apologize for who you're not. Really embrace who you are, because there are certain traits and attributes that society rewards, and, the person that makes the most money is the best looking, is the most athletic, and, all of g- those good things. If they don't apply to you or, in, in the traditional sense, you are wonderful, beautiful, and loved the way that you are, and there are gifts that are buried inside of you that are just waiting to come out. So just embrace them.

David Pasqualone: 46:27

I think that's 100% true and great advice. So Chris, thank you for being on the show today. It's been a true honor having you here, my friend.

Chris Maduri: 46:36

Oh, thank you so much for having me on, David. This is beautiful conversation, and thank you for the work that you're doing.

David Pasqualone: 46:42

Oh, no problem. We're trying to… We love God, love each other, right? So-

Chris Maduri: 46:46

Absolutely

David Pasqualone: 46:47

Yeah. So ladies and gentlemen, like Chris said, like our slogan says, Listen. Do. Repeat. For Life! Don't just listen to Chris's journey and the advice he's given you, but do the good you know you need to do after being still with God, taking that next step. Repeat it each day. Form those healthy habits, like he talked about, weights, physically moving, going to the gym. God may bring you the weights, but you need to pick 'em up, right? So listen, do, repeat the healthy habits each day so you can have a great life not only in this world today or when you retire, but for the rest of eternity to come, which is way longer. So I'm David Pasqualone, this is our remarkable friend Chris, and we'll see you the next episode. Ciao! Ladies and gentlemen, I sincerely hope this show has inspired you. The whole purpose of the Remarkable People Podcast is to inspire you, to motivate you into action, to help you have an even better life, to overcome things you've not yet been able to overcome, or to grow to the next level that you never thought possible. And all of this, not just to benefit you in this world-… but to have you come to a relationship with God where it grows every day stronger. And not just this world is blessed, but your eternity is blessed. And we sincerely want to do just that and to glorify God. And we hope with this episode we accomplish that. If we did, please let me know. It's great to be encouraged and to spread the word to our remarkable guests that it helped in your life. If we didn't, let me know. Write me an email. You can go to davidpasqualone.com, go to our Contact Us page and let me know what you think. I got tough skin. Let it rip. Anything you can think of to make this a better podcast to help you grow and to glorify God, I'm in. So that's it. Thank you for listening to the podcast. Thank you for sending us feedback. If we can help you in any way, let us know. And if you can spread the word about the Remarkable People Podcast, share the episode to your friends, your family on social media, it would be a huge honor and blessing. Again, I'm not trying to be the most famous podcast in the world for my benefit. I truly want a podcast that's the best podcast in the world to help as many people as we can to have a better life, come to know Christ, to grow in the Lord, and to have that salvation so they can be with God in peace and joy and eternity. And right now we're together on this earth, so let's do everything we can to work together and help each other grow. Like the Bible says, love the Lord thy God is the first commandment, and the next commandment is to love thy neighbor as thyself. So let's do it together. I'm David Pasqualone. I love you, not as much as God loves you, but if I can help you in any way, just ask. And again, please share this to your friends and family so we can help them too. Ciao, and see you in the next episode!

Thanks for watching the Remarkable People Podcast!: 50:08

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