Controlling What We Can, Stacking Victories, & Getting Off the Couch with Rich LaMonica

“At least one thing a day is going to go wrong. How are you going to handle it?” ~ Rich LaMonica

In this episode of The Remarkable People Podcast, host David Pasqualone interviews Rich Lamonica, a military veteran with over 30 years of service. Rich shares his inspiring journey, discussing his entry into the military, his Christian faith, being wounded in combat, and the importance of perseverance. He emphasizes the inevitability of setbacks but highlights the significance of resilience and stacking victories. Rich discusses his upbringing in Jersey City, the lessons learned from various mentors, and the challenges faced during his military career, including the trauma of losing a soldier and recovering from injury. Post-military, he struggled with job rejections before finding a fulfilling role in veteran mentorship. Throughout, Rich underscores the importance of gratitude, movement, and productivity in overcoming life’s challenges. The episode offers valuable insights for military personnel, veterans, and anyone dealing with life’s adversities.

• 00:00 Introduction to the Episode
• 01:32 Rich Lamonica’s Early Life and Upbringing
• 04:50 Joining the Military and Early Career
• 12:23 Life Lessons and Leadership in the Military
• 28:45 9/11 and Its Immediate Aftermath
• 31:54 Personal and Family Challenges
• 37:15 Family and Faith: A Personal Journey
• 37:45 Deployment to Iraq: The Early Years
• 38:32 Maintaining Relationships During Deployment
• 40:39 Coping with Loss: A Soldier’s Story
• 41:26 Leadership and Emotional Resilience
• 45:24 Returning Home and Seeking Help
• 45:59 A Near-Death Experience in Afghanistan
• 56:02 Transitioning to Civilian Life
• 57:56 Finding Purpose After Service
• 01:05:52 Final Thoughts and Advice

 SHOW NOTES & LINKS: 

• Hire Hero USA Resume Writing Services: https://www.hireheroesusa.org/
• Website: https://www.themisfitnation.com

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Transcript

Controlling What We Can, Stacking Victories, & Getting Off the Couch with Rich LaMonica

David Pasqualone: Hello friend. Welcome to this week's episode of The Remarkable People Podcast with someone I consider a hero. Rich Lamonica Rich has 30 plus years of military service. He talks to us about not only how he got into the service, how his faith is an integral part of this, how he was wounded in combat, but also he talks about not quitting.

Taking control of life after things happen. 'cause we can't control everything. Bad things will happen, things will fail, things will not go to plan. But what we can do after that fact to adapt and overcome, to stack victories and to be a successful human that glorify God and helps others. There is personal information in this show that got me emotional.

There is. [00:01:00] Application that you can make in your professional life as well as your personal life so you can be a better person. But overall, as you'll see, rich is a great human and an American Patriot. His episode has a ton of value. I hope you listen to the whole thing and not only enjoy it. But apply it to your life and share it with those you love, so we can all be better people and thrive for God's glory.

So at this time, get ready for this Remarkable episode right now. 

David Pasqualone: Hey Rich, how are you today, brother? Good, David, how are you man? I'm fantastic. And I'm looking forward to our episode in the introduction. I just told our listeners a little bit about you and what to expect in this episode, but straight from the source, whether someone's here for the first time from India, or whether they're a serial listener from the UK or from Good Old America where we're from, what do you guarantee [00:02:00] they're gonna learn from your episode today and be able to apply to their life to be even better?

Rich LaMonica: That's a great question, David, and, and something I like to tell people all the time is that I have been through trials and tribulations in my life, and I like to call it a rollercoaster. And you never know when the highs are gonna be high or when the lows are gonna be low, but what you can do is control what happens after each event.

Every day. We have events that go on in our minds, in our lives. You have planned out. You don't know if everything's gonna go perfect, but one thing during the day is definitely gonna go wrong. I don't care who you are, something's gonna go wrong for me. When that thing goes wrong, I don't let it defeat me.

Years ago, I may have now, I do not. I take that note and say, look, this is what went wrong there. I drive on and then I continue to stack victories throughout the day, and each day I try to beat the number I had yesterday. So what the audience can get, whether they are a first time listener, or they've been with you for the whole ride for 400 episodes now, is that you can always come back from anything that [00:03:00] goes wrong in your life.

You don't have to stay down. You're not judged by how many, how many times you fall. You're judged by how many times you get back up. 

David Pasqualone: Man, that sounds like an incredible message I need to hear, and every human in the planet needs to hear. And immediately you remind me there's a verse in Proverbs. It's all throughout the Bible, but it says, you know, adjust man, fall us seven times, but rises up again.

Right? Can't let anything keep us down. Just keep getting back up. So ladies and gentlemen, Rich is gonna share this message and his life story of how this became so powerful to him right after the short affiliate commercial. 

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David Pasqualone: All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. Check out mypillow.com, use promo code Remarkable and get over 30 to 80% off everything you order every time. Yeah. And now we're here for Rich's story. Rich, you talked about how something will go wrong each day.

It's inevitable right there. Sometimes 80 things go [00:05:00] wrong a day, but it's how we handle them, how we process them, how we get back up even if we're bashed into the ground. So talk about number one, where are you from? What was your upbringing like? Good, bad, ugly. Pretty, pretty ugly. Where did your journey begin?

My friend. 

Rich LaMonica: Awesome. My journey began in Jersey City, New Jersey. I was the, the youngest of four children, my mom and dad, hard workers, both born in the forties dad in 1940, mom in 1943. They met after my dad. They lived right around the corner from each other. And like most people in the city, they don't know each other until they're older and they come back.

My dad came back from the military. He met my mom, fell in love, and they started this, that journey in life. And they showed us the value of hard work. And I, being the fourth of four children living in a railroad apartment. If a railroad, a apartment is an apartment with no hallway, basically between rooms.

So you come in the door, if you look straight, there's the kitchen, loud bathroom living room. You turn left and it's three bedrooms [00:06:00] straight through. So my sister had the first bedroom, her own bedroom, then my mom and dad as the buffer. And then me and my two brothers. So three boys in one room, I was the youngest and my two older brothers were in there.

So I learned a lot of life's lessons just in that room. How to be tougher, how to, how to fight for what was mine and things like that. But we also learned common sense and we learned through the Catholic church where we were all raised at St. John, the Baptist Church, just about two blocks away.

'cause in the city everything was walking distance for us. We didn't have a car. So we learned a lot of values that way and had, our family was always over and we learned mom and dad would do anything for us. And dad was working three jobs sometimes. He worked at the Sidney Morgue. He worked for the electric company and he owned a bar at one, at one point, all three at the same time to try to put food on the table and provide for our family, showing us the values of hard work.

Mom never made it outta high school, but she would always put in the effort to have one, possibly two jobs, so she also can provide for us and show us the values [00:07:00] of hard work. As we went to, we started aging. My older brother went in the Navy, 1981 ish, and my sister went to college first. The next year she went to Jersey City State University.

She was the first of us to go to college, and me and my other brother were about six years apart from them. We used, we were still in high school and such, and we were learning their ways, and I learned all their mistakes, so everything they did wrong. I learned how to not do that or how to get away with it better.

And so going through same elementary school as my two brothers, I, I hadn't, didn't, couldn't get away with anything 'cause those two messed it up for everybody. But I learned valuable lessons from the nuns that were there and the teachers that were there and my friends. I learned a lot of life lessons as well as good education.

Then we went to high school and I didn't do good my first year of high school. And I wound up going to the same high school that my parents went to, Dickinson High School, which at that time was where all the kids in the city went that didn't do well at their first schools or they lived in that area.

So it was a hodgepodge of people. It was almost like the United [00:08:00] Nations in that school. So it was culturally balanced if in today's world, back then it was just kids being, it was kids, a lot of kids together and no one really. 

David Pasqualone: Yeah. And people on our show grew. They're from all over the world and our listeners from all over the world.

And I do really, thank God I grew up in New England because I grew up outside of Boston, mass. And you were in New Jersey. And there was much, much, much less bigotry. Yes. And, and that's what you're saying, it's just there was culture, there was nationalism. Everybody loved being Italian, loved being Portuguese.

Yes. Loved being Puerto Rican, but we were all American. 

Rich LaMonica: Is that how you grew up? Oh, a hundred percent. And we had on top of those, we had, we had a huge Portuguese population just across from us in North New Jersey. And by us we had a lot of Italian, 'cause the New York City was right across the river.

So a lot of Sicilian Americans there and a lot of Irish, a lot of Puerto Rican, a lot of east Indians were starting to come in at that time. So we had a lot of different cultures and a lot of blending. But we all were [00:09:00] American. At the end of the day, there was no 'cause. There was no noise. The noise on the box wasn't telling you to hate one side or the other.

It was telling you to be American and to go out and not, not ask what your country can do for you, do what you can do for your country. It was still in that kind of mindset and it was beautiful. And from the youngest, I can believe I probably was four or five. I was sitting on my dad's lap and he was watching, I think it was probably a war in Israel where the end of the Vietnam War on a little 13 inch tv.

And I was sitting there saying, that's what I wanna do. I wanna be a soldier. I wanna do that. 'cause my dad was in the Army. I said, I wanna do that. And he's like, I don't know if you wanna do that. And he, he didn't say, don't do it. At that point, he just didn't want to push it. And then when I got to junior high school, dad, I'm going to the recruiter's office, but I'm so young, you have to sign a paper.

And he said, no, I'm not signing it. I said, why? You were in the Army? He said, enough of us have served. You need to go to college. It's like I told you earlier, my sister went to college. My brother went in the Navy. My other brother wasn't going to college. He was not, he didn't like school enough to go to college.

So I was the last one [00:10:00] that could go. And he said, you're gonna college. I said, well dad, I didn't take any of those courses that get you into college. I was taking shop and art and all this stuff just to get through and get enough credits to graduate high school. He said, well, you better figure it out. So in between my junior and senior year, I went back and changed my schedule for senior year.

So in senior year, I wound up having all those courses that you should have taken through freshman, junior, freshman, sophomore and junior year to get to college. I took 'em all in senior year, so I didn't have that cushy senior year like everyone else had. I was studying to think three sciences, two English, and an extra math in order to get to college.

I took the SATs somehow I passed and I went to Berkeley College in New York my first year. And then my second two years, I went to a St. Peter's College in Jersey City where I was able to just walk to school and play college football for a couple semesters, a couple seasons. And then I finally joined the Army at that point.

David Pasqualone: But you went in with your degree, a licensed an officer, correct? 

Rich LaMonica: No, I went in with basically 88 credits [00:11:00] to college as a specialist. 

David Pasqualone: Okay. Okay. And then, was your dad at that point, you did your college? I, I'm proud of you. Or was he still like, why are you wasting your college degree?

Rich LaMonica: He was a, he was standoffish at first, but he was so proud that I, I made the decision myself and I, I did it all on my own.

I didn't come back to him and say, can I have your blessing? I just went and did it because I knew I had to get outta there. I had to get outta the city and I had to do something I actually enjoyed. 'cause I know. Now you see a lot of kids young adults, I should say, as they get outta high school, they wanna take that break year or that gap year, I guess, before college to see if it's really for them.

Back then it was either you could go or you don't. And I wasn't really that, I didn't like school that much to go to college, but I was going because I knew it made, it would make him happy and make him proud. And I did my best in college. I just was just going through the motions. So the army was the way for me.

And from 1993 until 2015, I was a soldier. 

David Pasqualone: Okay. And [00:12:00] then as you're in the military and you said you became a specialist, where does your life go from there? So my first and plus, this is your story, right? Anything that's significant from your birth to this point in the story, anything we skip, feel free to fill in or during your military career, anything that's significant, that's shaping you as a man, absolutely.

Talk about it. 

Rich LaMonica: Outstanding. So I joined the military. Like we were just talking about growing up in the Northeast and the cultural diversity up there and how we didn't see things like it was portrayed in like a lot of books and stuff, how there's this divide between black and white or any other, any races.

And, but when I got to the South, I seen it and I didn't, didn't understand it at first, but I also seen something crazy when I went to the south. I was at Fort Stewart, Georgia. I went to a rest grocery store and I was checking out and the lady said, hi, how are you? I was like, what do you mean? And I checked out.

She said, thank you. I said, for what? And so I didn't understand that whole be nice to person [00:13:00] at that portion of my life. And it took a while to get used to people being kind and having those values to say hello to you and how are you? And thank you, and please, and yes, sir, no ma'am, and things like that.

But then I also realized when I got to base that there was these huge cliques. This certain group of people stayed together. This certain group of people stayed together. That certain group of people stayed together and never tween would meet after work at work, all one brotherhood outside of work, all three different tribes.

And I, it took me a long time to understand the why behind that, but I'll get to that as I go through the career. The career progression. My first platoon sergeant was Humberto Lopez. He was a staff sergeant at the time from Puerto Rico, a supply sergeant who was our, our platoon sergeant. He was hard on us.

And at that time, you expected people to be hard in the nineties. 'cause there were still guys that were trained by dudes that were in Vietnam and the guys in Vietnam, they were treated like like dogs basically. When they went through basic training at it and into the service, they were always, you know, told what to do, how to do [00:14:00] it, and when to do it.

And with a tse voice, they were told that stuff. Excuse me. 

David Pasqualone: Yeah, I remember Heartbreak Ridge. That was a great movie. Clint Eastwood. Yes. And then you had like, you know, Reagan's president and Top Gun one comes out, there's lines that the recruiters can't keep up bringing people in. Right. Biden's President, top Gun two comes out and guys get Hawaiian shirts and grow a little mustache.

Right. Totally different world right now. 

Rich LaMonica: Different, different lifestyle. Yeah. 

David Pasqualone: Yeah. We, they're the generation of men and patriotism. It's, I mean, we got great humans still. Yes, yes. But that oof and that, I don't know how to verbalize it, but you know what? I hope, if you don't know what I mean, or if you can verbalize it, say it.

But we used, we grew up, thank God for God, and thank God for our country. Yeah. Thank God. And now it's like, I just want to get laid and grow a little crazy mustache. It's like, what's wrong with you, man? 

Rich LaMonica: Do what [00:15:00] now? It's a, I do whatever I need to do to fit in. Yeah. Instead of trying to be the, the star or light that's outside the, the shiny circle that everyone sits with, their little three inch computer in front of their face, that tells 'em how to be viral.

Back then, you just did things to be viral. You didn't even know you were being viral. You were just doing it. You would go lace up your boots and walk 12 miles with rucksack on your back and come back and go to work not rest and put your feet up and have hyperbaric chambers or extra things to make you feel better.

You just went to work right after you might've changed your socks to so that, you know, they weren't as wet during the day, but you did the things you had to do. And like, and to your point, the recruiting line. When I came in, in 93, we had slick Willie was the president of Bill Clinton was the president and he was trying to draw down the military 'cause it was right after Desert Storm ish, that period.

And he was trying to do the, the budget cuts and get rid of the, the excess bring us down. And a lot of my leaders were running scared at this point if they did [00:16:00] anything wrong. They would be put out in the military. But Humberto Lopez, he didn't care. He, he wanted us to be men. He wanted us to be leaders of the future.

And he would teach us every day new lessons. His, the first thing he taught us was, you can't leave unless you do 10 pullups. 10 dips and, and 10 pushups. Every day. Every day. He built his, he was the first person I ever seen build the, the combination dip pull up bar. He did it at a fence post and he didn't patent it, so he could've made him millions of dollars, but he put it right in his office.

He said, line up, you do it, you can go home. And that's what we had to do every day. And he had a standard for our uniforms that he had to check 'em every day. And if you didn't pass it, you did pushups. So he taught us little lessons. We hated them for things. But just like your parents, you don't listen to 'em a lot when you're a kid.

But then as you become an adult, you're like, man, mom and dad were right. As I became a leader, I was like, damn, Sergeant Lopez was right. And those aha moments, they really come to you. 

David Pasqualone: Yeah. Yeah. So now you're growing into the [00:17:00] man. That God intends you to be Right. And we're still always on the journey, but at that point, obviously it's accelerated during that time period of life.

Yes. And what starts happening in your life? 

Rich LaMonica: I start to see the future. I start to see what it's like to maybe take someone under my wing and teach them my ways and teach 'em the right way to do things. So with Sergeant Lopez's help, he sent me to the sergeant board, the E five board. And I went to, they may sent me to a soldier month board, and I thought I did horrible.

He said I did good. I said, all right, whatever. And then I went to the E, the sergeant board. I passed that. I just got went. I eloped with my wife. We met and we fell in love. Five months later we got married. So it was whirlwind 93. I joined the Army 93, December, I meet her. May of 94 we're married, just like that.

No, she was not impregnated at the time. It wasn't a shotgun wedding. It was, I wasn't even thinking 

David Pasqualone: that. I wasn't even thinking that, 

Rich LaMonica: that I know so many audience will, but okay. That is [00:18:00] true. That is true. It was just love and we didn't want to wind up not being with each other in case the army sent me someplace.

So we got married and we've been married now 31 years, and that's a testament to our hardheadedness and our devotion to each other and, and the, the will to fight through anything that goes wrong. So now I have a young wife and we're thinking about a family. And on my first anniversary with her, I'm in, still at for Stewart, and I got orders to go to Korea alone.

That was the Army's anniversary present to me. So this is my next test. I, I go to Korea as a young sergeant and I still have some of that city immaturity in my head. I do some dumb things. I get in trouble. And I wind up losing some money and some time. But I kept my rank and it taught me even more valuable lesson that I don't need to do that stuff to fit in.

I can just be me and lead. So the rest of my tour was about eight months left of my [00:19:00] tour. I just drove forward and looked forward and, and learned from that lesson, I learned from that huge hiccup. And I went back block leave I think was, I wanna say like in February? Yeah, February of 96. Yeah, February of 96 was my block leave.

And me and my wife, we, she got pregnant at that point. And I came home in July. We had our daughter in October. So October of 96 we had our, our daughter, Lexi. And now I'm at Fort Campbell still a young sergeant. Have a baby on the way. When I get there and I go to my first unit back here at Fort Campbell and I meet First Sergeant Mata.

And this guy is intense. I go in my uniform, pressed shine boots shined up and no one's there. But a few people, a few dudes are there. So I'm a new saw. I mean your a new N-B-C-N-C-O-A nuclear, biological and chemical NCO. I'm here to sign in and all of a sudden there's a voice behind me. Who are you?

And I turn around. Hey, first Sergeant. I'm Sergeant [00:20:00] Lamonica. I'm a you N-C-N-C-O. He hands me a rucksack with a radio. He said, you're my RTO. Get ready to go to the field. I said, when he said, you got, you got 30 minutes. I said, what? He said, oh. I said, I need to get some stuff. He said, you got 30 minutes. And that was my first lesson with him.

30 minutes. I drove back to my, my new house, our apartment. Really? I told my wife, I said, I'll be gone for 30 days. I have 30 minutes to get back. And she's now 9, 8, 7 months pregnant. Yeah, seven months pregnant at the time. And you're 

David Pasqualone: gonna have a kid any day, any minute, any day. 

Rich LaMonica: Any day. And I'm gone 30 days and I come back and I'm like, like, that was the craziest 30 to welcome to a unit I'll ever have.

Up to that point. It's the one, the first craziest one I ever had, and it's the craziest one I ever had throughout my career. And 

David Pasqualone: RT is radio technician officer 

Rich LaMonica: radio, the tactical officer. So I, I did all the radio work for him and, but that's not 

David Pasqualone: necessarily what your main, core job was. He's just like, this is what you're doing 'cause this is what we need.

That's what you're doing for 

Rich LaMonica: me. That's, wow, this guy's great. And he never got my name right. He called me Lamansky all the time and he'd [00:21:00] yell, Hey, Lemanski. And I wouldn't answer. And he'd yell louder and louder. I said, are you talking to me first Sergeant? I say, yeah. I said, my name's Lamonica. Lamansky.

All right. Gotcha. Gotcha brother. Got it. And I'd carry that r and we'd walk as, as long as he wanted to walk and I'd just keep walking. And I learned the value that I could, I could carry that ruck forever. And I learned a lot of sweat hard blood guts it takes to be with the infantry. So I hadn't been with a light infantry before at that time.

And in that unit, I also met a good man named Sergeant Doug Jones. And he was my platoon sergeant. He was a little older than most of us. He had three little girls at the time his wife Donna, and he took all of us under his wings and he was trying to make sure we all stay in that straight and narrow and do, do the right things and do the right things to get to the next level.

Take the courses, go to the schools, go to get in some college and do a correspondence courses, do all the things to check the block to get to the next level. So we all did, and I wound up getting promoted to Staff Sergeant [00:22:00] while he was still a sergeant. And then I moved on to a chemical company, then he made staff Sergeant, went to Drill Sergeant School.

I went to Fort Riley, became Sergeant first class. He was still a staff sergeant. And all I can think of is why would I, was I getting promoted and not him? And then I realized he told us all the things to do. He was putting all his time and effort into us, but not into him. He never took care of him. So that was my next leadership lesson.

You can take care of your people all day, but at the end of the day. You have to look in the mirror and say, where am I tomorrow? You can be selfish all day and give everything to them, but you have to have some selfless stuff and give to yourself and your family. And that's where his divide was. And it kind of cost him as he went through the rest of his career.

And I know he would've been a sergeant major in the army if he would've took care of some of that time to take care of him. And he, he's a great man, great father great husband. He's not with us anymore. He died shortly after he [00:23:00] retired. But his, his influence on me and a lot of us is forever in our heads and our hearts so much that when his oldest daughter got married a few years ago, we all had a reunion and we walked her down the aisle in his honor.

And that was a, a great moment for us. 

David Pasqualone: Yeah. No, that's amazing. Do you think, looking back, was he just a loving guy that cared more about others than himself? Or was he in a self-sabotage mode? What do you think the, the situation was in his world? 

Rich LaMonica: I think in his world, he was a loving dude and he wanted everyone to be successful, but never once thought about himself.

He always wanted everyone else around him to be the success they're built to be. And never, ever look back in that mirror. And it took me a while to look, reflect, and look back and say, that's what I need to do. To also, I need to look in that mirror and say, where can I go from here? I can't always push everyone to greatness and not [00:24:00] myself to greatness.

If no one's pushing me to greatness, I have to push me to greatness too. And I think that's where he had that hiccup. Yeah. All right. So 

David Pasqualone: where does your life go from there? 

Rich LaMonica: So that was around 1998 ish. Then 99, I went to a chemical company here on Fort Campbell as a squad leader for the first time. And going from the infantry to there was a little bit of a transition for me.

She can't speak the same way. So it's, it's a mixed group there instead of just all men. And I, and hold 

David Pasqualone: on before you go on, this sounds stupid, but for those aren't familiar with the military rich didn't go to a company like Coca-Cola or Pepsi. He actually went to the company that was in charge. A company like the organization, the squad, the unit, different words, but it's called a company.

Is that correct? 

Rich LaMonica: Yes. Yeah, so the infantry company is about 130. At that time, it was all men. It was all men, and their job was to go out and defeat the enemy. Yeah, just go as hard as you can, defeat the enemy. Then I went to a chemical company, which [00:25:00] their job was to provide smoke to cover the infantry as they moved where decontamination, where we'd clean the, the infantry guys up if in the Russians or whoever we were fighting at that time, used chemical warfare against us.

It was our job to protect those guys and make sure they were able to continue fighting and if they were contaminated, to get the back into the fight as quick as possible. 

David Pasqualone: I just, if anybody was distracted thinking you went to work for Bayer or some kind of like, I just wanna make sure we're clear. He wasn't working for a a for a, like a civilian company at that point.

Rich LaMonica: Right? Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. So at, at that time, I, I had to tweak my knowledge of being a leader from not just one gender focus. It's all these men, everyone does the same thing. I can yell at them all the same way to learning that there's multiple different ways to lead different people at the same time.

And it was a hard lesson for me to learn. 'cause it was hard to ghost turn that switch from just knife handing it and yelling at people. And knife handed mean just pointing at 'em and yelling. And then now you have to [00:26:00] kind of stand back and not do that because there's different reactions from different people in different world at different points in their lives.

And I think that's emotional intelligence or social intelligence, you learn that I learned that way later in life. But that's the words that are used for what I was learning at this time. And. I took those lessons and I was only there for probably less than a year when I got orders to go to Fort Riley, Kansas.

So we packed up from Fort Campbell, we drove out there in the U-Haul and my wife and daughter and a little Jetta behind me me and the U-Haul driving out there. And we get there and I was supposed to go there to replace someone that was going to Bosnia at the time. That's why I had to go there.

They said, and I was like, okay, I'll go. And I get there and they, they already filled that slot, so there was no job for me. So the division Seaburn, NCO, master Sergeant, likely at the time, he told me to sit at the desk. He's gonna make a phone call. I said, all right. So I sat at the desk, I'm just playing around at the desk and he's on the call for probably 30 minutes.

And I'm sitting there, I couldn't understand what he was saying on the phone. He looked at me and said, how [00:27:00] do you like that desk? I said, his, the desks aren't, it's great. He said, well, you'll be there for the next year. I said, what? I said, what just happened? I said, I should be leaving soldiers. He said, you're gonna lead him in different way.

I said, all right, teach me and I'll follow. And he showed me and I was making the inspection plans on how to make sure all the companies were doing the, all the units on base, were doing the right training to keep people trained to fight in the kemble warfare environment and all their equipment was working.

So for a year, that's what I did. And I learned how to do the staff side of things. And it was a very valuable lesson for me as I would grow in my career, to know the why behind we were doing things at the bottom level, why it came from the top. And he taught me those lessons. And he wanted everything perfect.

Everything I had did for him had to be perfect. And I never questioned him unless he could. He's a math sergeant. I was just a staff sergeant. It's two levels between each other. He had to have done something right to get there. So he had to know what he was doing to [00:28:00] get me where I need to go. So he, he'd teach me how to put things on the map and draw 'em perfect circles or perfect squares and perfect unit colors.

And then he sent me to a school to learn that. When I went to school, I blazed through the school and that was at Fort Bliss, Texas. And everyone there was like, how'd you know all this stuff? I had a great mentor mass Sergeant Terry, likely he showed me this stuff and he made sure I learned it and made sure I didn't mess it up and that's why I'm doing good here.

And I blazed through the school and came back. I said, I'm ready to do the staff work, and as soon as I get back, you're gonna take over a squad. I was, what? Since I just got used to this, now I'm going back to a squad. So I went back to a, to a decontamination squad. It was only 12 of us. It was pretty intimate squad, a great unit great platoon.

We actually were in Kuwait in 19, in 2001 when nine 11 happened. We were in Kuwait on the border with Iraq when nine 11 happened. So that's something that Platoon will always have. We all were together when nine [00:29:00] 11 occurred. We were already forward, already forward deployed when nine 11 occurred. We were the first ones forward when that happened.

So we, we knew, well, we didn't believe it was happening 'cause Yeah, I, we never believed anything back then. 'cause we thought we were just doing things that someone way up here was telling us. And we came back from patrol and we patrol and we were told that the twin towers were hit. I said, no way. I said, I said, don't lie to me.

'cause I, I can see the twin towers out in my back window in Jersey City. And I said, don't lie to me there. There's no way the twin towers are gone. And I kept yelling at my platoon leader and I told my young sergeants, look man, go check the CNN tent. That's what he called the tent where we had the news going all day long.

And he went in there and came running back. Stop yelling someone stop yelling. It's true. It's, oh, so you, you flip a switch right there. You, we went from basically an easy deployment where you're getting ice cream every day and being able to call home whenever you wanted to. Everything turning off no more ice cream.

And now you have ammunition. You, so now you're like, oh man, the world has [00:30:00] changed. This was just a, basically a deterrent, a deterrence deployment to make sure Iraq didn't do anything. Now we are the deployment until everyone else started moving in. So it was a wild ride there at Fort Riley. And what about 

David Pasqualone: when you said you could see the Twin Towers from where you grew up?

Was your family still there? 

Rich LaMonica: Yes. They were still living 2001. My parents weren't in New Jersey City anymore. They were in Bloomfield, New Jersey at the time. But I still had friends there. Yeah. 

David Pasqualone: So did you, how long was it between like when you got confirmation that your family and friends were okay? 

Rich LaMonica: I couldn't call them probably for three days, but I knew that if something had happened, the Red Cross would've got to me.

David Pasqualone: Gotcha. 

Rich LaMonica: So I kind of had that, had some, I guess, unfound confidence to know that they were okay. 'cause the Red Cross didn't tell me they weren't. So I took that as a grain of a grain of hope, I guess to say. I didn't get here or anything, so it must be okay. Yeah, no news is good news. Right? So in, in fact, it all was okay.

They, my [00:31:00] mom worked at a hospital across the river from the twin Tower, so they were accepting people that were being evacuated. They were using the ferry to bring 'em over to her hospital. So she got to do some to help Their dad was with the electric company still? Yeah, he was still working. So he, he had to do, send, send power teams over to make sure things were going right.

He wasn't really involved with a lot of the response and stuff, but all my family got to see and they knew people that were in the towers. 

David Pasqualone: Okay. So now war breaks out, like you said, it was a switch. I mean, that, that's like. Anybody in the world that day's infamous within America especially, right? But to be in the Middle East and you're like, ah, we're just a protective measure and not holy crap like we are the measure.

What was, what was going on in your head and heart, your wife's head and heart? Like where does your life go from there? Rich. 

Rich LaMonica: So my wife and daughter were at Fort Riley and her grandmother had came from West Virginia to stay with her. They're [00:32:00] gonna just give her some help and stuff, and they, they got locked down.

So the gates now are manned. They weren't manned before that. So they're going through that there. For us, it's a little more stressful for us 'cause we don't know what we don't know. We don't know what they're gonna use us for. We don't know what's the next step is at this point. All we can hear is the noise that everyone else is hearing.

We're gonna do this, we're gonna do that, but we don't know what we are. 'cause we're the we in that whole equation. We are gonna do. When we do get chances to call, we'd call home and just listen to what they're going through back there and how things have changed so quickly. But my wife was always awesome and she would not let things that were going on at home affect me.

So she would kind of hide things and, and kind of sugarcoat stuff so it wouldn't affect the way I was overseas. And I would try not to tell her things overseas to make her have any more stress back home. So we, we kind of had that good relationship that way to not share the stress, the stressors of each of us.

But we both know there were [00:33:00] stress on both sides, and you kind of, and every soldier, sail, or marine airman knows the same thing, that when you're gone, the person that's home has to deal with everything alone. No matter where you go in the world. If it's war, if it's just a regular routine trip, they're doing the job of two the whole time you're gone.

So they're a single parent. If it's a, if there's children, children involved, or a single household, single person household, if there's no children involved. So the stress adds on them anyway, having more stress with, now that our, we're a country at war as a nine 11, 2001, no doubt about, we were a country at war, so she had to take that burden on and keep my daughter happy and and safe.

And I think she was going to kindergarten at the time. Yeah, her first day of school was during that period. So she did her first day of school. I missed that while I was there. She handled that, she sent me a picture of it, and about that time the internet was still coming up. It was like 2001. So everything was mail.

I didn't get a lot of email pictures. I don't think I got any email pictures at that time. It says all mail. So I waited for those packages to come [00:34:00] and opened it up and see a picture of my daughter. She sent Christmas stuff, or Thanksgiving stuff and Halloween stuff for all my soldiers, like little bags of candy and everything.

She did that every deployment to make sure that they, if they weren't getting packages, they got something at least. So she always, she was also, she was a rock star in that. 

David Pasqualone: And that is so huge having a great woman behind you. Yes. I mean, if you don't have a spouse, male or female, like if you're a husband or if you're a wife, the vice versa.

It's just a distraction and Right. It keeps you from focusing. That's why I say behind every great man's a great woman. 'cause it's, it's not all the time. I mean, Abraham Lincoln had a real peach and he did great things, but he was depressed doing it. Right. You had that motivation, thank God. 

Rich LaMonica: Yeah. 

David Pasqualone: And I knew I 

Rich LaMonica: had to come home.

I had to do everything perfect overseas to make sure all my people come home and to come home to my wife and daughter. And yeah, I think that helped us both out to know that, for me to know that she was covering stuff there and didn't need my help, [00:35:00] really. She was a, I mean, she was a point and click. She did it.

She knew how to get through things and she'd figure it out. If, if she couldn't, she'd do it. And when I came home in December, came home, I think the second week of December, her grandfather died, like on my way home. I, I was on the ground maybe two days. I told my platoon sergeant at the time said, look, I gotta go on emergency leave now.

I can't wait. And they were like, yes, go, go. So we drove from Fort Riley to West by God, Virginia, to go to a funeral or like in a moment's notice. I went from forward deployed to now driving across the country 18 hours to a funeral. And that's just how our life was back then. You just react and, and go.

And we didn't fly anywhere, I think, oh, we flew one time, me and my daughter flew and my grandmother died. And I would never do that again. Me and my daughter alone, 'cause I'm, I mean, running through an airport with a car seat and then I had her outta the seat trying to chase her. That was insane. So as a family unit, the car was the best way for us and the cheapest way for us.

[00:36:00] We didn't make a lot of money back then. So we drove that 18 hours, did that, then drove all the way back and right back into train up to go back to what was becoming a new life and the new normal. As a unit started going into Afghanistan, and then you started hearing this noise about this thing called Iraq.

We're gonna go into Iraq. So 2001, 2002 was all, all Afghanistan. And then they, they started doing the Iraq chemical weapon stuff and we're gonna build up for that. And so you're training for that. We went to NTC at National Training Center in California. We did some train ups there, a month long trip there.

Came back, did some train up at Fort Riley and everyone else was deploying to go to, to stage for Iraq or go into Iraq. And we weren't, we were on the bench basically. So they sent us to Korea to do a exercise there, a staff exercise. We flew to Korea and while we were there, the plans were in motion. We did this exercise there.

It was over Easter. And this is when my wife was going through RCIA to become a [00:37:00] Catholic practi become Catholic, and she actually became Catholic while I was in Korea. So I talked to her on the phone the day she got baptized, day she got confirmed. And we celebrated over her phone, me and Korea, her in Fort Riley, Kansas.

And that was a big step for her. She grew up, Methodist became Catholic, and our daughter was Catholic, is Catholic. So that was a huge thing for her to become that. And me not being there, that that was a little painful for all of us, for me not to be able to be there. But understandable at the time that duty first soldier, first, then family always.

But you kind of think that goes back to that Sergeant Jones talk, take care of everyone else and not take care of yourself. And that's kind of what was happening there. I wasn't taking care of my own, my own family. I wasn't there for my wife. And it kind of hurt us a little bit. I came home, it was 2003 at this point and you know, the invasion started into Iraq and it was over Easter weekend that she got confirmed.

So it was April-ish or March. We got the call in the end of [00:38:00] June, I think, finally to get off the bench. You guys are going into Iraq. Finally. You guys are gonna go do this dance. So August, I was the, on the first plane out of Fort Riley. I was the advanced party me and my, my attack tactical action center.

We flew out, we flew from Fort Riley right into Baghdad, and that was in August of oh three. And we fought in a beautiful town of Ramadi and surrounding area from August of oh three. And I came home September of oh four. That was a pretty 

David Pasqualone: wild ride. So I wanna ask a couple questions to help 'cause we have military around the world.

Listen to our show and we have family of military. And the divorce rate within the military is off the chart right now, especially special forces. Your wife and you, you've been married 31 years now, have a strong family. Again, everybody's got issues, but you made it through and it's going great. [00:39:00] You talked about how you didn't dump on her, she didn't dump on you, but I'm sure there was times where you guys shared, right?

So what was the boundaries that you kept? Maybe you even just took 'em for granted, but what are the boundaries that you and your wife used that maybe our listeners can apply to their life to keep their relationships healthy? 

Rich LaMonica: I think while you're in that separation mode like that, especially back then when you couldn't just go on the internet and press buttons and fix something, she didn't put things on me that I couldn't help with.

If there's something I had no way of inputting on, she didn't really dump on me about it. 'cause there's nothing I could do about it from where I was. All it would do was eat me up. It would eat me up and I would not perform well enough in my duties, especially in Iraq when at any moment you could not come back and.

She didn't want to dump on me there so that my head wasn't in the game and she knew that and I would not tell her the things I was seeing there so that she wouldn't go to bed at night knowing the [00:40:00] things I was seeing and or maybe bleed that onto my daughter. I mean, they wouldn't know from my perspective, but they would know from, if they watched the news, they definitely would see stuff because the news was everywhere over there.

It was, it was frontline and in your face news, the, especially the early years of the Iraq war, everything was right there on the, on the screen. But I would not tell her the things I was seeing just so I didn't, I wasn't the one that told her and she didn't have to hear from me that I seen it. So she could maybe have that feeling, no, maybe he's not seeing the stuff.

And that was kind of the boundaries. We had unwritten boundaries, like you were saying, it wasn't written down, but we kind of knew where that that line was that fine line of what we can tell. And it wasn't until my third deployment where. When my soldier was lost, it was 2010. So it's a big flash forward here.

December 31st, 2010, my soldier Sergeant Michael Beckerman, was killed in Afghanistan. I called her, she was my first call, and I told her I couldn't hold that one in. I told her he was the only [00:41:00] soldier I lost in combat, and I told her right then, and she knew it was a bad day when I was, I told her that.

So she was able to just kind of talk me down, off, off the, the tip of the spear to calm me down a little bit. And then I had help from chaplain sheets as well to help me keep the rest of my platoon straight narrow and get us outta there by April the next year. 

David Pasqualone: Yeah, and you don't have to go to the specifics of that, but that's another life lesson.

You have this responsibility and a great leader takes on more responsibility typically than they even should have, right? Like a mentally emotional, you love your men, you ke you wanna keep them safe like your family. What was the advice that, whether it was your wife, whether it was the chaplain, whether it was just God with the Holy Ghost, just giving you that peace.

What were things that you learned, rich, that other people listening could learn from? Like, okay, you're in a high stress situation, something terrible happened. This is how I dealt with it. [00:42:00] 

Rich LaMonica: Alright, so this is, this is my I guess my rollercoaster to of those days. First thing you get is rage. Rage and anger.

That's the first thing you get. And you're yelling, you scream, you're angry at the world. Why him not me? Why? Why was it him taking, why was it not us? And you go through that wave of emotion. Now I still have to tell my soldiers that he's gone. And so I went one by one to my leaders, my NCOs, and told them non-commissioned officers.

I told them I took them aside away from the soldiers and told them, 'cause I didn't want to tell the soldiers until his wife was notified. 'cause Maggie was down range. She was in Afghanistan with us at the same time, but at a different location. So until she knew, I didn't want them to know and kind of spill it somehow.

So I told the NCOs and told 'em to keep eye on them in case they get word. 'cause the, the soldier network's a lot stronger than people know and they, they wind up knowing stuff earlier. So then about five o'clock that night, they happened around eight in the morning, five o'clock the night, took 'em all into our tent, [00:43:00] had 'em stand down put their weapons down.

And I told them, I told 'em, we lost Sergeant Beckerman today, just matter of factly. I told him, I said, we've been fighting this war. You guys have been here since April. I got here in September. We lost Sergeant Beckerman today. This is what I need you to do. I need you to go and yell and scream and tomorrow we gotta go back to war.

I don't wanna see you on CNN. I wanna see you guys all come home and we're gonna do this together. And then I went and talked to the chaplain and he was, he was tent was like right behind ours. So he, he kind listened and he, he took me aside and gave me some tips and pointers. He took my whole platoon in.

He got 'em all sitting there and let them vent a little bit. And then he, he prayed with them. He, they, and there always, there's always people that say, I'm not religious. I don't believe in God, but there's no atheist in combat. Everyone's praying to somebody. And when, when things going horrible, there's people praying that you would never think would pray.

And me and Sergeant Moff, every time a Catholic priest would [00:44:00] come to our base, we'd go to mass with him. So we, we would go sit down and and actually do our Catholic stuff. And otherwise me and him would just have fellowship together and everyone else would do whatever they had to do to get through.

But when this happened, everyone went to that chapel. Everyone was in that chapel, and everyone was praying to something, whether it was a higher being of their own making or it was God, they were praying to him. And that made us get closer and using those tips and tricks from chaplain sheets. Dr. Stone was a mental health professional that was on base.

I would take each one of my guys and gals there to make sure they were straight and, and if they were having those horrible, those hard things to, in their mind, it was good that she was there. 'cause I'm not a mental health professional, I still am not a mental health professional. But if there's someone that is a professional at that, that's where I'm sending someone.

I'd go and get candy, but she always had candy in her office and I would, you know, keep me calm, eat some candy while they're talking to 'em. And then we'd walk back and we'd just talk. And if they want to tell me what they [00:45:00] talked to her about, good. If not, let's talk about the next mission. And we'd get through it.

And by April we all, we all made it home and we're all still up now. Awesome. 

David Pasqualone: And thanks for sharing those tips. I know, just thinking back, it's not easy, but it's how many people are gonna face that situation that those tips might really help. So thank you. Yes. So now you come home, where does your bring us from there to today.

Rich LaMonica: Okay, so that's 2011. We come home and. Go through some of the reintegration stuff and at this point I knew something was wrong with me up here. So I asked for help and I was told You're a leader, go back and lead. So I said, all right, I'll go back and lead. And then the end of, of 2011, we got told, Hey, you guys are back on orders.

You going back to Afghanistan in May to be advisors? I said, alright, we're going right back. This is awesome. So in May, 2012, I was right back in Afghanistan and then June 18th, 2012 went on a mission. [00:46:00] If you've seen the movie Lone Survivor, they were in this place called the Dayal Valley and Chow, k Af Kunar, Afghanistan.

They were up on the ridge when they started their battle. They fought down the battle. We went to that same valley. This was 2012. That was in, I think 2007 or 2005. And same battle where same people were fighting at the same now. And if you go in that valley for more than 90 minutes, you'll get attacked.

We were in there about 94 minutes, we got attacked and. RPGs, machine gun fire. So we, we backed outta there, we started moving back to our combat outpost, cop fortress. We get there and, and all the enemy did was walk along the ridge in the mountain and started launching mortars at us. And we were like, God, it's gonna be a long day.

So we stayed in our vehicle. So we, they were pretty protected. Some people got hurt. So me and Lieutenant Wheeler at the time, we tried to maneuver to them to help 'em, we helped them. Our, my medic doc Calderone was able to manage sum of 'em up and get them out. And then Apaches came the helicopters and provided us cover.

So it was kind of clear we were able to regroup, do a [00:47:00] after action on this to see what, how they followed us or what our reactions were. We talked about it, we had gave ups, downs, how to get through it. And Doc said, Hey, sorry, I wanna talk to you. This is my first time ever helping somebody. I said, let's go step outside.

We we're talking. He told me all the steps he did. I was so proud of him. Slapped him on the shoulder, said, great job doc. As soon as I slapped him on the shoulder. While we were talking, the Apaches left. As soon as I slapped him on the shoulder, the Taliban launched another motor. It hit behind me. It went through my left leg in the back, out the front.

I didn't feel it 'cause of adrenaline. I guess he seen it. Nothing hit him, thank God. And he said, Sergeant, you hit us. Said, no, I'm not. Looked down. I said, yes I am. I looked behind me. There was a man that was hitting the neck. I said, go help him so you don't want me to help you. I said, no, go help him. And I took my tourniquet out, put it on, and I kind of pushed myself inside the building.

And Lieutenant Lord, it was lieutenant at the Times, A major now him. And another lieutenant helped me out. Lieutenant Miller. They helped me out, banished me up. And then I stood there and I didn't think it was that bad. I thought it was just a, basically like a scrape [00:48:00] doc. Took care of that guy. Sealed his neck, make sure he can breathe, and was able to get him ready to get on the helicopter.

And I was standing there and there was two other soldiers getting evacuated. And then me, I was standing there with the bandage on and a, a special forces medic looked at me, say Sark. You know what gangrene is? I said, yeah. He said, you want it? I said, no. He said To get on the damn helicopter. I said, whoa.

Alright. So I, I ran to the helicopter with a wounded leg. I jumped on. They're like, what are you doing here A second. Wounded my leg. I said, okay. The guy that was on the helicopter me was unconscious. Man, this is a weird thing to him. They're all over him cutting his clothes off. They're like, when I get you next?

I said, you're not cutting my clothes off. It's just a cut on my leg. I don't even know why I'm leaving. We get there. I wound up in surgery on F Fenty and they took the shrapnel out and they asked me if I wanted to go to Germany. I said, no. I said, gotta get back to my men. So within 32 hours I was right back into fight.

So I took that punch from the Taliban, and to backtrack a [00:49:00] little bit between the two deployments I was training. My mind was in the training, but my mind was also on Every one of my friends who died in combat, died on either the third deployment. Fourth deployment, this was gonna be my fourth deployment.

So I knew I wasn't coming home. I had this negative Nancy attitude, and everything I was doing was negative. And a young sergeant, Sergeant Chal coming, she said, Sergeant, this is not you. Get your head outta your butt. And it didn't sit into me until that mortar hit me. Once that mortar hit me, I hit that reset switch and I was right back to leading the way I always did.

And I wanted to get back into that fight and prove that I was, I was the better NCO than I was acting like. And for the next five months, six months, I, I stayed at the tip of the spear and stayed in the fight. 

David Pasqualone: Yeah. And that's so hard because, you know, again, generational differences. We were joking before the show and, and during the show, but people came back from the World War [00:50:00] and they just call it shell shock.

Right. And then we call it, you know, there's 50 names for it. Right. It's how do you process with the trauma and you don't have that luxury when you're in war and you don't have you know, Hey, I need five minutes. Right. Come out. I'm sure it didn't. Was it like a switch for you? Did your brain just compartmentalize and shut it off?

Or did you ever feel it trying to come back and you, and you just learned techniques to separate and, and be focused? 

Rich LaMonica: For me it was, it was like a, a reset switch. As soon as that mortar hit behind me and went through my leg, it was like, oh, you're back to Sergeant Lamonica. Go do your job. And were you kind of pissed 

David Pasqualone: off?

I mean, I was 

Rich LaMonica: angry. I was angry. They got me after all these times, they got me, man. They got me. And I said, I wanna go up that mountain and get 'em. And I, I realized I couldn't put no power on the leg, but I can run. But I couldn't put power into it. But then when I came back to the base, they were like, you came back, you.

That lit my guys up and [00:51:00] everyone around us was so, they were so pumped up. Now that we fought through that battle and we fought through the rest of them. We lost a couple real great humans on that deployment. A sergeant manager, Kevin Griffin, who came to the hospital and I was sitting there, he told me I got the million dollar wound.

I was like, guess farmers, right? I didn't get shot in the butt. He's no, but you get free license plates for life, bro. I said, wow, I never thought of it that way. And so I put that in my head and then he was killed. About the two weeks after I got my purple heart, he was killed in a IED explosion. The same explosion where Flo Griffin received the Medal of Honor.

And it just, all that sunk in that at any moment it's your turn, it's your turn to go. You have no say in that, in that timeline. It's, it's already on a board somewhere and someone else's wiz wheel has you on that board. When your timeline is, be your best you can up until that time happens. And that's what I did for the rest of my career until 2015.

David Pasqualone: Man, that's so fantastic. And also talk about if someone went to Germany, there's [00:52:00] no shame in that. No. And, and, and explain to the audience like your options there too. 'cause everybody's like, okay, he could've went to Germany, I don't get it. Explain what that means and then the choice you make. 'cause that is an admirable choice.

And some people were like, I don't know if I'm going to Germany and then maybe, you know, go home. But it's, talk about that a little bit. 

Rich LaMonica: And that's kind of what it is. You go to Germany, it's almost, I think it is 50, over 50% chance if you go to Germany, you're gonna wind up back in the States because they're gonna give you that next level of care in Germany and then send you forward stabilized to go to either Walter Reed Bethesda or San Antonio third Burning Center to get the treatment you need.

And for me, that wasn't even an option. I was, I'm not, I'm not leaving my guys, I'm a, I'm here as a team sergeant, I'm gonna do my job and I'm gonna come home and. That option to go there. It's, it's not horrible to do it. You're, you're not looked down upon. Most people expect it to happen. 'cause they see the, the gruesomeness of war.

They see the things that happen and they see how those wounds happen and [00:53:00] they know what the enemy does to the munitions, what could happen to you. So they, every, all of us understood that if you get wounded, there's a very high chance you're not gonna come back to them. No matter if you live or not, you're probably not coming back.

So when they see someone come back, one, it boosts morale. Two, they think you're crazy, and three, you feel a lot better that they're putting their arms around you and say, let's go fight. And it's just a weird dynamic. 

David Pasqualone: Yeah. And there's no shame. If someone gets injured and they need help, you go, you gotta go.

If somebody isn't mentally ready to go back, don't go back. 'cause then you, you put your brothers and sisters in harm's way. 'cause if you're not in the game, that could be the deciding factor. So what Rich did was noble. And it encouraged him and it encouraged his whole team. So that's why I just wanna make sure people understand you had a choice to take the, take the easy way out and you still chose to move forward.

So that's, that's admirable. Thank you. No problem. Yeah, man. So now you go [00:54:00] back, keep, keep bringing us through today. 

Rich LaMonica: Yeah. So after that I wound up about let's flash back about seven to 10 years before that. I asked for two assignments, one to one 60th Special Operations Aviation Regimen on Fort Campbell to be their seaburn, NCO and the other one to the, our US Army Chemical Biological Radiological, nuclear Technical, technical Escort unit.

And for some reason, when I get wounded, I get orders to both of them. And I was like, wow, this, this is, this is God playing tricks on me now. Now he wants me to go to two places I've always asked to go to and I had to make the choice. I knew if I went to one 60th, I'd have to go through. They're what they call Green Platoon, which is a big test two weeks of really physical, grueling stuff.

And I knew with my leg injury I probably wouldn't do well. So I said, let me start training up and see where I am, but I'm probably gonna go tech escort. So I came home, I went to Aberdeen, Maryland. I, my wife and daughter, this goes back to having kids here. My [00:55:00] daughter is, I think in third or fourth grade.

I told her, you'll, you'll go through a lot of elementary schools, a lot of middle schools, but you're only gonna go to one high school if I can, if I can make sure that happens for you. And of all the things I told her, that's the one thing she remembered. So in 2012, I was coming home. She was in between her sophomore and junior year.

And she said, dad, you said when I was in fourth grade, I'd only go to one high school. I'm not moving to Maryland. I said, whew. The one thing you remember. So I went to Maryland as a geo bachelor for my last year and a half in the Army. And as soon as I got up there, I started working. I loved the unit, but I knew my time was up.

As I can see evolution, I can. And Sergeant, going all the way back to Sergeant Lopez, he said, you'll know you'll have a sign that tells you it's time to get out. And once I started getting soldiers that were about the same age as my daughter, I said, that's time, that's, that's the writing on the wall. It's time to hang them up and let them be the future.

So I put in my retirement paperwork 2015, June 30th, 2015 [00:56:00] was my last day in service. And I thought it'd be easy coming out with my specialty career. I figured there's gotta be government jobs, especially up there in Maryland, in the DC area. I'd fall into this great GS job, government service, job, and everything would be peachy.

But I also didn't factor in that at that point, we were at war for 14 ish years, excuse me. And all those jobs were filled and filled with younger people 'cause they were retiring during that time and they weren't going anywhere. They'd be there for a little while longer. So there was nothing really open.

So for exactly 365 days, I took that punch in the chest and I had to keep pushing forward to try to find a position. And I put in applications and nothing would hit. Nothing would hit. I was like, why did, why am I not getting hits? So I got with Hire Heroes, USA. They wrote my resume, sent it back to me. I said, wow, this don't even sound like me, but it, it look read's awesome.

I sent it in, bam. Right away I got an interview at at the Department of Homeland [00:57:00] Security of Washington DC, so District of Columbia, Homeland Security Emergency Management Office. So I drove from Clarksville, Tennessee up there about 11 to 14 hours. I go to the interview and I can tell while I was in the interview, they lied me, but they already had someone for the job.

It was kind of a check the block interview, just to have someone else come to interview. And I left there and I was driving home. And at the time I was going through what's called the Mission Continues. It was a nonprofit, veteran nonprofit. And I was in the fellowship program and I was volunteering at the Red Cross giving time back and trying to reintegrate that way just to get outta the house.

'cause my wife was tired of having me at the house after years and years of me not being around. And I was going through that. And then I'm driving home and I, I talked to my fellowship program specialist, Jeremy Bailey. He said, you didn't want that job. I said, I kind of did. That's why I drove all the way up there.

He's not a, when you get to a stopping point, I'm gonna send you a link, fill out an application, and that's where you wanna work. And it was to work in the desk next to him. So 365 days [00:58:00] on the calendar, I finally got a job at the Michigan Continus as a fellowship program specialist. That one year of reflection taught me resiliency.

It taught me gr, it taught me how much I have inside me to keep pushing forward. A lot of people, if they went, go through a year of getting told, no, no, no, no, no, that's it. They're done. And, and a lot of people told me, how did you keep how, they always ask me, how did you keep going? And it was seeing my wife and seeing my daughter and seeing my dogs and sitting on the couch.

My dogs drinking beer wasn't how I wanted to do the rest of my life. And I knew I had to provide for my family and I had to get off that couch. And that's what my, my shining light was to get off that couch and keep praying and pushing forward and say, I know you get you just as a test. This is something to test me.

And that's what life is. It's a series of tests. This is the biggest test I've had for 365 days. And when I got that call saying I got the job, I just looked up and said, thanks, bro. And I went forward and did the job and I've been working ever since. So I did that job for two years [00:59:00] mentoring other veterans.

Go through the same thing I went through. And then my old First Sergeant, first Sergeant Dave Ward, he called me and said, Hey, do you wanna come work for our company? I was like, where is he? He said, at four camp was, heck yeah, that's where my family is. He said, yeah, awesome. Just come and fill this application.

We'll get you interviewed and get you on. I started working for where I am now and since 2018. So it's been a great ride doing this job as well. So I still get to train soldiers, so, but I get to go home every night and see my wife. 

David Pasqualone: That's fantastic. And then if you want to talk about the company you with now, you can name the organization no problem.

But I have another question for you, idiot. Doesn't matter if you're in the government or not, it is hard to be job hunting and getting rejection. Yes. It's mentally hard, emotionally hard. It's financially hard. And when you said the grit and the resilience, there's a lot of people who break from that.

They get a crappy job. Just to pay the [01:00:00] bills and it just becomes this snowball downhill of deterioration mentally and emotionally. Your self-image goes crazy. But ladies and gentlemen, what Rich said is he's the same man. He has the same character, but he had that organization rewrite his resume and that made a huge difference.

Right. I understand. So like, usually the best performers aren't the best resume writers because you don't waste your time behind a computer. Right? Exactly. Exactly. And, and a lot of people, you get these great resumes and they're completely embellished in the people are really like, you know, very low, i, I don't wanna discourage, what's the word?

I'm like, they're not as good as that resume says. Right? It's embellished greatly. So what recommendations do you have, because again, you're not a professional resume writer, but would you tell people, military or civilian, Hey, you should have some, look at your resume, you're cover letter. What would you re, what would you recommend to [01:01:00] people looking for a job who are stuck?

Rich LaMonica: Find a mentor. Always have a mentor or someone that could like, like David said, look at your resume for you. If you're in military, go to hire Heroes. USA, they do it for free. Send them all your information. If you have a resume like I had, which, which I thought was well written, like David said, but I'm a nug and that was not great.

They made me look like a superstar. I was like, wow, that's awesome. This is still me. You, they can do that for you too. They can also do it for your spouse whether the husband or the wife is the soldier or seller or marine. The other one can get their resume done as well. So because they understand the burden on the spouse as well.

The spouse has to move all these times as well and lose careers because they had to keep moving, but they have a huge resume now. And now if it's written correctly, it's an easy sales piece in the civilian world, transition happens all the time, and sometimes it's because downsize of a company. Sometimes it's because a company gets bought out, but it's not always the employer or E's fault.

You have to be able to [01:02:00] transition to that next move. The best time for you to look for a job is when you're happy at your job because then you're happy and you're just fishing. You are in control when you're out of a job. Now they're in control. They hold all the cards. Always know where your value when you're looking for that job and have someone else look at your resume for that smart check to make sure you are not a nug like I was, and you're able to push forward.

David Pasqualone: Yeah. Yeah, I agree. I agree. It's, I mean, we always wanna be content and thankful where we're at, but there's nothing wrong with looking around and seeing what's out there if you're gonna be working for an organization. I agree. So between your birth and today, rich, before we transition to where you are today and where you're headed next, how can we maybe as listeners, help you get there?

Is there anything we missed between your birth and today that you want to cover? Or any thoughts you're like, this is just a man, a life. I learned this, I don't even know where I learned it, but it has impacted [01:03:00] my life. 

Rich LaMonica: I think some of my best lessons I learned without knowing it. And I think everyone in the audience probably has the same, this same issue when you're I'd say between 12 years old and 18 years old, what happens?

You know everything. You know everything. No one else knows anything. Whoever's talking to you, you're not listening, but you are. You don't wanna write down what they're saying, but it's coming into your nugget. Your brain housing units collecting everything. So everything, my dad and my mom, my uncles, my aunts, my grandma were telling me, oh, you don't know what you're talking about.

You don't know what I'm going through. You've never been through this. They kind of had, they, they went through the same years of their lives too. And we all discount that stuff. We all discount everything we went through that they went through, because we're gonna go through it. We're, we're tough. We can do this.

When I had my daughter, I didn't, people say, you need to read the book. I said, I don't need to read a book. My mom and dad raised me. I know how to raise a child and I never read a book. What to Expect. What to Expect, and all that stuff. People would send all that stuff. It stayed in the [01:04:00] corner. But I learned by watching and you learn by seeing what right looks like.

And you learn by seeing what wrong looks like and you try to find yourself somewhere in the middle where you're doing right by the person that you're charged with leading or charged with raising. And those are the lessons I learned along the way from birth till. The end of my career in the military, there's always someone out there that's teaching you without you even knowing it.

It's just if you're paying attention. 

David Pasqualone: Yeah. And the value of books is like, for instance, you, you made that book What To Expect. You mentioned the book, what to Expect When Expecting. Okay. I didn't grow up. I grew up, my mom was never married, you know, just me and her. I didn't have any like younger siblings, so I didn't know what to do.

Right. And they give you these books and you read 'em and they give you everything to when the baby's born. But the important stuff is what happens when you take that kid home, right? They need the book, what to do when you take the Kid Home. I remember looking at my kid like, thank God it was a boy. Right?

A much better, better idea. [01:05:00] But it's like he just exploded his diaper. It's up his back, man, I, it just happened in the bath and I'm like spraying him down. Like I didn't know what to do, but he's alive and he just joined the Air Force, so we're good. Alright. You, you didn't mess it up. See, I don't, I mean, you know, I, I love my son.

I love my daughter. I did my best. The rest is between them and God. So I, I, I'm sure I failed him. In many ways. I hope they forgive me and move forward, but I did do my best that I can give. God knows. So when we started this episode, we talked about life events are gonna happen. Something bad's gonna happen, gonna take control.

And give it our best. If someone is facing someone that doesn't go to plan, if someone is facing something that's seriously traumatic and dramatic and catastrophic, what are some steps? Maybe like a checklist real quick, like number one, number two, number three, how do you recommend people handle those moments?

Rich LaMonica: So if it's a [01:06:00] traumatic event or emergent traumatic, traumatic event a shooting a, a sudden death or something, take a step back. Yell and scream. Don't yell and scream at anyone in particular. Yell and scream. Let it off your chest. Get it out. Get that grid out, yell, say, ah, let it go. Then take that step forward and say, this is not gonna define me.

What's gonna define me is what I do next. Can I make this traumatic event keep me down here in the basement? Or can I use this traumatic event to make me a stronger human, to make me move to the next level? So step two is find out why that happened. Make sure you don't do it again. Step three is moving forward and doing everything that you can possibly do to make life better in the next steps.

So every day, every day we like to, on our show, the Misfit Nation, we ask people, what's three things to be a better human the misfit nation can do tomorrow? So for me, every day, wake up with gratitude. Be thankful that you're [01:07:00] alive. Be thankful for what you have around you. Be thankful to the people around you.

Two, move daily. Do something every day to move your body. And three, do something productive. Be out there and do something not just for you, but for your community, but for your, the people around you to help everyone to move forward in life. And if you do those three things after an event, you keep pushing forward.

You keep stacking those victories like we talked about earlier. You stack those victories daily. You'll notice a huge difference in your life by not dwelling upon the event. But don't forget about it. Don't dwell, but don't forget, write that down. Don't dwell, but don't forget and keep pushing forward and your life will be much better.

David Pasqualone: All right? I think that's amazing advice. I know, you know, it lines up biblically with so many scriptures, right? We, we start off the show talking about it, but, you know, commit that works. Un the Lord. And I thought she'll be established. You're talking about get outta bed. You know, don't sit there and dwell in [01:08:00] it, right.

Learn from it and move forward. But a lot of times I know in my life. When I just do things and not the fake it till you make it. Right? Yeah. Anybody who says that, I wanna punch 'em in the face. Right. You don't lie to people. You don't over credential yourself, especially in what you do. You can get people killed.

Rich LaMonica: Yes. 

David Pasqualone: But, but the pushing through that, okay, this is what I'm called to do. This is what I have to do. Like, I, I love how you start off the show and you're like, Hey, this is my training. All right, well, this is what you're doing. Let's go. Woo. That's, it's a beautiful thing. You're just gonna adapt and overcome, right?

So, well, rich, man, it's been a pleasure having you on the show. Any final thoughts before we wrap it up? And then we, I do want to share, like always, ladies and gentlemen, excuse me, we'll put in the show notes how you can contact Rich and continue the conversation. But any final thoughts before we move to that segment?

Rich LaMonica: I think everyone in the audience, if you look around you today, look to your right, look to your [01:09:00] left and find out who is in your immediate circle. Write down those names on, like Brene Brown had said on her, her rumble card, her rumble ticket, a two inch piece of paper, put that in your wallet. Those are the people you can tell anything to, and they'll give you to God's honest truth that day.

Outside of that is your, your go-to people. If you need something fixed like your car or something, make sure you know who those people are as you're moving through life and have your circles, your inner circle, your outer circle, and if you think about someone, text them. Don't forget them. Just, oh, I thought about you.

And six months later try to text them and they might not be there. If you think about someone right now, text them, make sure they know that you, you're thinking about them and caring about them.

David Pasqualone: That is true and excellent advice. I agree completely, and thank you for sharing that. Ladies and gentlemen. How many times in your life have you thought of somebody and you don't contact them and then you find out? A week or two later, they needed you. Right. Right. So God's laying that on your heart to [01:10:00] contact them.

Go for it. Rich best way for people to contact you. If our listeners want to reach out, whether it's email or whether it's a website, how, how can they get ahold of you? 

Rich LaMonica: Great question. Our, our website, the miss at the www.themisfitnation.com, there's a contact us button on there. You'll get me that's a info@themisfitnation.com or Steven or Jake.

Any one of us will get the email and we answer within an hour. Usually if it's just to talk to us. If you want to vent something, if you're feeling down and you need someone to talk to, all three of us will talk to you. If you just wanna talk to me, learn more about my story, just go with info@themisfitnation.com, and that's addressed right to me.

I will get back to you and see what we can do together. 

David Pasqualone: Yeah, and we talked about it, but to specifically, what are you doing today and where are you headed next? 

Rich LaMonica: Today I'm at, at work betray Soldiers here in a little bit teaching 'em to survive in the modern air airline battlefield. And then [01:11:00] after that, it's off to do a prep for my show and some work for my doctorate at Liberty University.

I'm going for my doctorate in Homeland Security. 

David Pasqualone: Nice. I got a Master's from Liberty to Oxford. I give you great props. I'm like, I, unless God opens the heavens, I'm done with my degrees. I love learning, but I don't a formal education. And that's ironic because you know how you said God has a sense of humor earlier, right.

I was a terrible student. Yes, in high school and in college. And then years later, God called me back to teach at college. I taught at Pensacola Christian College for Wow. Yeah. For a few years. And it was wonderful. Outstanding. But I'm like, God has a huge sense of humor. Right. I even had professors come up to me be like, you are the last person we ever expected back here.

And I'm like, I know, right? So, good man. So reach out to Rich ladies and gentlemen. If I can help you in any way, we will. I will. And. Share this with your [01:12:00] friends and family. There's so much great content in this. Not just being determined, not just, you know, like, I love what you were talking about, your inner circle and reaching out and how many life tips and how many practical nuggets and gold bars do we get in this episode.

So make sure you're sharing it with your friends and family, ladies and gentlemen. Not so we get popular, but so we can reach more people. Again, the whole purpose of the show is to glorify God and help you grow. And Rich, what is the name of your show? You have your own show you said? 

Rich LaMonica: Yes, I do. It's the Misfit Nation.

Just like the shirt here in the Miss Pit Nation. We just did our 540th show this year just last week actually. We, we started off to get veterans to come on to share their story, to get that pressure off their chest so that they would stay with us and not become part of that statistic that's thrown out there of 22 a day on a Liveing themselves.

And it was going great for the first 12 episodes. And then they reached back and say, Hey bro, that's great, but we need more help with [01:13:00] other mental health tools, other things like how to start a, a business, how to write a book, how to get into music, how to get to Hollywood. So I said challenge accepted and started getting experts on and blending into veterans with them, veteran entrepreneurs.

And we've just been going strong, 

David Pasqualone: man, that's fantastic. So we'll put a link to your show in our notes and ladies and gentlemen, check it out. But whether you're listening to The Remarkable People Podcast, whether you're listening to Misfit Nation, whether you're listening to anything like our slogan says, you don't just listen to great content, you gotta do it.

You gotta repeat that. Build those healthy habits each day so you can have a great life in this world, but more importantly, an eternity to come. So I'm David Pasqualone. This was our Remarkable Brother, rich Lamonica. Rich, thanks again for joining us. 

Rich LaMonica: Thank you for having me. This was awesome. 

David Pasqualone: Awesome.

Ladies and gentlemen, we love you. We'll see you in the next episode. Reach out to Rich or I. Ciao!

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