Mark Collins | Becoming a Man of God, Creating Positive Habits, & Unleashing the Hero Inside

“It’s not the what. It’s the why.” ~ Mark Collins

Guest Bio: Mark is a Husband, Father, Pastor & Business / Life Coach with a passion to see Christian Men equipped to be the HERO God created them to be. He has authored his first book, “Life Mastery: Living life by design, not by default”. He has developed and launched his Life Mastery online course and has had the privilege of speaking at conferences throughout the Western US. In over 15 years of working with men as a Christian coach and Pastor, Mark has seen hundreds of lives changed and callings unleashed.


SHOW NOTES: 

• Website: http://freedom-for-life.net
• Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/FreedForLife/
• YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCw1A7tteCrpLj_d9ejzDWRg

REMARKABLE LISTENER SPECIAL OFFER(S):

• REMARKABLE OFFER 1: Save 30% to 80% on EVERYTHING you order at MyPillow.com with Free Promo Code, “REMARKABLE“. Yes, that’s right! Use the best My Pillow promo code out there to save a ton of money on all 250+ quality, comfortable, cozy home goods at MyPillow.com/Remarkable. From sheets, to blankets, to pillows, to mattress toppers, be ready to sleep better and live more comfortably than you ever have before!
• REMARKABLE OFFER 2: Try Mark’s free “Discovery Tool” on my website that the you can take to find out where you are in your “Life Mastery journey” and, more importantly, what you can do to get to the next level!

CORE THEMES, KEYWORDS, & MENTIONS:

• life transitions, military family, living up to fathers expectations, imprints from our past, entrepreneurship, medicating pain, relationship vs religion, independence, identity statement, man of God, joy, peace, Christians, habits, the checklist for Christianity, goals, the journey, business success, imposter syndrome, transformation, change, confidence, assurance, I am statements, mastering your thoughts, life mastery, Bible, pastor, prayer

For more Remarkable Episodes, Inspiration,

Transcript

Mark Collins | Becoming a Man of God, Creating Positive Habits, & Unleashing the Hero Inside

David Pasqualone: [00:00:00] Hello, friend. Welcome to this week's episode of the Remarkable People podcast, the Mark Collins story. This week, Mark shares with us his experiences about learning to become a man of God and how he had a transition from being a military kid to growing up and having his own trials and businessman who couldn't find peace and joy.

And then he saw men who had that peace and joy. And then he met a woman and they had kids and they wanted to raise them in church. And that's where it turned from a religion to a relationship with Christ. But what Mark does today is he's a bivocational pastor who works in business and he works in the ministry.

But today brings both together just like life should. So you're going to get to know a lot more about Mark, but he's going to talk about how it's not [00:01:00] the what we do, but the why. We're going to talk about forming good habits. We're going to talk about becoming a man of God or a woman of God. We're going to be talking about All sorts of practical life changing core foundations in this episode, listen to it all, share it with your friends and family, reach out to Mark and I, if you have any questions, but it all starts now.

Announcer: The Remarkable People podcast. Check it out. Remarkable

People podcast. Listen, do repeat for life.

Remarkable People podcast.

David Pasqualone: Hey, Mark, how are you today, brother? I'm doing good, David. How about you? Man, I'm [00:02:00] fantastic. I just told our listeners a little bit about you and what to expect in this episode. But before we go any deeper, if you guarantee them one truth, one life changing application that they'll hear in this episode, be able to make to their life and be a better person.

What is something that your life story is going to exemplify and teach them today?

Mark Collins: That you actually are the hero in hiding that the person that you believe you can be is the one that will show up in your, your business, your job, your relationships, and your life.

David Pasqualone: Awesome. So ladies and gentlemen, just like our logo shows normal quote unquote People with the heroes behind them and how God put just superheroes inside of us.

He put the Holy ghost inside of us. He put power inside of us. So we just need to. Release and go with that's what Mark's going to talk about today. So we're going to take a short 30, 60 second affiliate break, and we're going to come back with our friend, Mark [00:03:00] Collins,

Mike Lindell: just like all of you. I had problems sleeping.

I had tried every pillow out there and nothing worked. I'd flip flop all night, use my arm for support and fall asleep. Or I'd wake up with a sore neck or maybe a headache. Well, quality sleep comes from keeping your neck straight at night. You have to fill in that space between your head and your bed.

That's why I invented MyPillow. MyPillow is patented fill, adjusts to your exact individual needs, and it doesn't matter if you sleep on your back, stomach, side, or any combination of all three.

Random Women: When I got MyPillow, I'm asleep almost immediately. I stay asleep at night, and I wake up more well rested in the morning.

So

Mike Lindell: go to MyPillow. com or call the number on your screen. Use your promo code to get Classic King MyPillows for only 19. 98! Queen size, just 18. 98. Standard Classic MyPillows, only 14. 98. That's right, only 14. 98! Plus all orders 75 or more, ship absolutely [00:04:00] free.

Brent Dowlen: Ready to save big? Simply enter the code Remarkable at checkout and enjoy a whopping 30 80 percent off everything you buy, every single time.

Let the savings begin!

David Pasqualone: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back. Go shop my pillow. You're going to get the best quality stuff in the market, save a ton of money and help an amazing American organization. So it's a triple win. Mark this. Now you're going to give us all gold. I'm so thankful you're here today. So everything that you are today, everything that I am, our listeners are, even if it was painful, Even if it was ugly, it was beautiful.

Mark Collins: Yeah,

David Pasqualone: makes us the men and women we are today. So let's start off where was Mark born? What was your upbringing like? Let's go through everything that brings us to today. So People can connect and see the man you are and why?

Mark Collins: Yeah, absolutely. So early Mark is a guy on on transition. And what I mean is my dad was in the military.

[00:05:00] So I tell People by the time I was 12, we lived in five different states in one foreign country. He was in the air force and you know, in that profession, you travel around somewhat. So I lived in all, you know, several states in the Western United States and Germany about the time I was 12 years old. So, so the young Mark was a guy who was used to moving, used to being in new cultures, new atmospheres, new People, new food groups.

I mean, just all sorts of things. So it was really a young guy who was growing up. In a place where he, um, experienced a lot of the world, uh, and in that place, trying to figure out, you know, my place in it, right, trying to figure out, you know, Who I was and trying to fit in, in all those different kinds of groups.

Cause everybody has their own clicks, their own groups, their own cultures and things that they do. So that was me up until the sixth grade. Then we moved to Utah and I don't want to fast forward too far, but grew up there and got into college a little bit and then moved to California as a young adult.

David Pasqualone: Sweet. Now, [00:06:00] while all this was going on, was it a quote, normal Childhood, was there anything significant that happened during these times that you're like, you know, we don't, we're not here for drama. Our listeners know that, but was there anything that impacted you in a way that carried through the years through today?

Mark Collins: Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, the truth is, You know, in the work that I do, what I tell People is you're either learning through who you're created to be or what your life has told you. And, and all of us have had a life that have told us things, so it's interesting that you'd say that because everybody lives from the impacts that they've had in their childhood, whether you believe it or not, and whether you understand it or know it or not, you're living from what your childhood has told you, apart from understanding who you are in Christ.

You're living from that place. And for me, a lot of that came from those, that, that home relationship. So a couple of significant things would be my dad being a real strong personality in the house. He being a man that I felt like I could never measure up to and always trying to find ways of trying to measure up through [00:07:00] success in some way, business, academics, athletics, trying to do those things.

And so for me, it was really trying to be the measure of the man that I saw with the father that I had And in that place, you know studied martial arts I I got a second degree black belt and and really tried to become that kind of hero that my dad was in my eyes Yeah

David Pasqualone: Go ahead. I'm sorry. Oh, no, i'm sorry.

There was a delay. I apologize Yeah, that's so important because Whether we realize it or not, whether we go grow up in a quote unquote Christian home or not, our image of our father, good or bad, greatly impacts how we perceive God, our heavenly father. So you viewed your dad as like a superhero and you couldn't live up to him.

Is that what I'm understanding?

Mark Collins: Yeah, absolutely. I know he was, he was that guy out there, you know, doing in my eyes crazy [00:08:00] things. He was the guy who always had the answers. He was a guy who nothing really affected him, right? You know, the kind of old school man that, you know, nothing hurts, nothing bothers, real men don't cry, that kind of mentality.

So yeah, absolutely. And trying to be that man or trying to, you know, show up as that kind of guy was something that I knew I couldn't be, but I was trying to figure out why. And really it's for trying to unpack who you are versus who your father is. Right. And in that place, live the life that you're created for, not as an imitation of who he was.

David Pasqualone: So there's usually two types of families. There's one where you have a dad like that and the mom's super supportive and she kind of like. explains to the kids, okay, this is what your father said, but this is what he meant. And she helps, you know, frame that world, not just that worldview, but how to properly frame the perception.

And there's other moms who just like don't say anything. And the kids are left wondering what kind of mom did you have in that home?

Mark Collins: Yeah, that's a great question. I think, you know, my mom was some [00:09:00] of both. So she, she would explain away dad to you for sure. But she was also the kind of mom that, you know, is that a bit of a safety net, right?

Where the person that wasn't like, excuse me, it wasn't like my dad in that she wasn't that kind of, you know, disciplinary. And so she was the person you'd go to, to not just mediate, but to try and find a different answer that was a little bit softer.

David Pasqualone: Gotcha. But she helped, she helped you understand your father better.

Mark Collins: Um, Not really. Not really? Okay. I mean, at some point it was not, not understanding him, but excusing for him. At the end of the day, if you're in a parenting relationship that's dysfunctional, um, it's really not easy to understand. And it's, you know, for my mom, it was really, I don't want to say justification.

I remember having a conversation with her once where I was like, yeah, but you know, these things are going on and this is kind of the response I'm getting. And, um, it wasn't a conversation she was [00:10:00] willing to have and, you know, which was fine. She was the wife of that husband and. You know, the truth of the matter is my dad grew up without a father.

He grew up in an abusive stepfather and then no father at all. And so for him to be even adequate at fathering, um, was a great accomplishment. So I think my father did well with what he had. Um, but there was definitely imprints on that parenting that lasted until what I call that life mastery journey, that transformational journey of kind of figuring out yourself apart from your parents.

David Pasqualone: Okay, so what did that leave with you now, you're growing up, and your dad is alpha male, and you are trying to live up to his expectations. You know, every son wants to please his father, even if they have a terrible father, you just have this natural desire to please your dad. Where does your life go from there?

Mark Collins: Um, well, logistically, I went to California. So I was out of high school, [00:11:00] and going to college, and Working towards a degree and didn't like the end of that road. Um, I was trying to, you know, as, as, you know, as parents really, you know, do in, in, in a great way, they tell you that you need to grow up. You need to go to school.

You need to get a good education and get a good job. And that was the road I was definitely on. Um, but I wasn't something I was really passionate about. I was at heart, an entrepreneur from the very time, first time I had a job, I really wanted to work for myself. I felt that there was an impact I wanted to have.

I didn't feel like I wanted to. You know, pour into somebody else's vision. Although there's blessing and People who do that. I wanted to do the same. I wanted to have my own vision lived out. And so left college, came to California, told my dad and mom, I was going to go to California to become a rock star.

And then I was on my way.

David Pasqualone: So where'd it go from

Mark Collins: there? Well, the rock star part didn't work out. Um, but there was definitely a longer journey there that I was able to live out. [00:12:00] So. Being able to find my wife, find my kids, find the life that I've had. But really it wasn't me working towards and believing I had the ability to sing or play an instrument really.

It was really finding an escape for a life that I didn't like, I didn't want. Right. I found that I was going to get my college education, find a job. And that to me, wasn't the sum total of what I wanted my life to be. And so it was really running away from the life I didn't want versus running towards the life I believe I could have.

David Pasqualone: And where did that take you normally when we run it just catches up to us and worse. Where did yours go?

Mark Collins: Yeah, absolutely. I mean I don't need to necessarily get into the stories that happen, but you know There was some interesting encounters and relationships. I came to california with a guy that I you know Somewhat knew and he had friends that he thought he had out here um, which brought me into a you know going down a road of the drug culture and and Doing [00:13:00] things that you know I knew weren't good for me, but you know, I tell People that you many times you're trying to medicate against the life you don't like.

And so for me, that that drug abuse and use was really medicating against the fact that here I am in California, I don't really have a path towards entrepreneurship or the life I desire. And I don't want to go back to the life I had and trying to figure out how to navigate it from there. And so I was.

Picking up the pieces, right? You know, trying to establish yourself, find a job, vocation, something to pay the bills for sure. And then start to work towards the things that you believe you could have

David Pasqualone: now. And forgive me if I missed it. Like you and I are talking about post call. I don't feel like I'm fully with it today.

Right? You did or did not have brothers or sisters growing up.

Mark Collins: Um, I didn't say but that's a great question. I have three have I say had three sisters. One of my sisters has passed actually, but grew up with three sisters. Um, one. Yeah, two that were older one that was younger. And so yeah, I was [00:14:00] the only boy in a family of girls plus my dad.

So I had sisters, but no brothers.

David Pasqualone: Okay. And then when all this is going on, were you in communication with, cause a lot of times, you know, kids get in their teens and twenties and they get distant from their parents. They're trying to become independent and quote unquote find themselves, right? But then they cling more to their brothers and sisters.

How was your relationship then? Were they part of the equation at this point?

Mark Collins: I think a's superficial part of it. So the interesting thing in the household that I grew up with was that, you know, my dad was a strong personality and he raised us to, to have, uh, strong personalities as well. And part of that was being able to justify decisions and ideas and thoughts that you had.

And so for us that really. Unfortunately, wasn't really good debate and solid conversation, but really having conversations that would lead to, um, putting each other down or saying things that were cutting and biting and [00:15:00] snarky. And, and so, um, in leaving my family behind, I was also leaving some of that behind.

And it's interesting, David, because when I first started getting in relationship with my wife, uh, that old guy that I was, right. Used to come out, which is when we're having a disagreement, right. The first person with the worst insult wins. And so in that place, it was trying to unpack some of those things.

So for me, leaving that place with my family was also trying to distance myself from a life I didn't like and a relationship that really wasn't bringing out the best in me in the in the ways that I desired to be wanted to be a better person.

David Pasqualone: Okay, yeah, I'm just trying to get the whole picture in my head.

So because you're out there, you're trying to, you know, find that guy. And then release that inner hero, so to speak, but at the same time, you end up not really knowing where you're going. So you end up medicating the pain with drugs and you're with the wrong crowd, but now you don't have the [00:16:00] lifeline to your dad, your mom, your sisters, good, bad, or ugly advice.

They gave you, it's kind of like you're on your own figuring it out and you're in the middle of this, you know, not ideal, not the best decisions in So from there, Mark, where does your life go?

Mark Collins: Well, you know, it started to go in a different direction when I started to be in relationship with my wife. So, you know, living the normal life, having the jobs, doing a little bit of, you know, recreational drug use, but nothing really spectacular.

I wasn't going off the deep end and, and really it didn't become a major addiction, but it was definitely a habit. But I met my wife through, you know, relationships. She was a, I call her the, she was a backdoor neighbor and the place where I lived in Southern California. Obviously, real estate's expensive here.

So in many communities, you'd have a front house, which had faced the main street, and there would be a back property or a back house or small apartment facing an alleyway in [00:17:00] between the two blocks. And so I was on one side and she was on the other. We had a mutual friend and started to meet each other.

And for me. And being in a relationship with her, a couple of things happened. You know, I've, I've found a grounding, a foundation for really kind of developing myself, right. A reason for it. Um, and part of that was she had two kids. I tell People when I met my wife and married her, I married into a family because she had two children when I met her and in that place, wanting to really show up as the person I believe I needed to be in a relationship with her and her children, I really started to evaluate some of the things I was doing.

Howdy. understanding of God and relationship with him from the standpoint of I grew up and knew what God was, went to church when I was a kid, um, but really didn't have relationship completely with him in that I didn't really go to church, didn't really have conversations. So I knew of God, but wasn't with him.

And so with her and that relationship, I started to find ways of trying to figure out, okay, well, [00:18:00] if I'm going to show up as a person, I wanted to be in this house. And be the father that I'm trying to be, or at least stepfather for these children. Um, I want to give them the foundation of Christianity, a foundation of, you know, moral good behavior and good decision making.

So I need to kind of live it myself. So, from that, started to go to church and and find some changes in some things that I was really looking for in relationship with God.

David Pasqualone: Now, did you find it hard to To transition out of the drug use or was a desire to please your Girlfriend and future wife so strong that it just outweighed the drug.

Mark Collins: Yeah, I think for me and Again, these are probably attributes I received from my dad for sure that there's a level of independence so that young man who lived in five states in one foreign country leaving relationships behind and And different habits and things you're doing behind was something I was accustomed to which is why I [00:19:00] believe I You Could easily come to California on my own with somebody else who actually he left two months later.

So I was left without that relationship when I got out here, but I was used to moving, I was used to transition and being nomadic and part of that is, is in that culture of, you know, I'm used to giving things up. I'm, there was a part of me again, probably something inherited that is able to do hard things.

I didn't realize it at the time, but when I want something, I'm willing to do anything to get it. And so in that place, giving up those drugs and the things that I was doing, I wasn't heavy into the culture as other People were. And I found that when I started backing out of it, you start losing relationships, right?

When you're not doing the same things, you lose the relationships with the People who are unwilling to change. And so it wasn't, it wasn't hard, but it was definitely a decision that needed to be made.

David Pasqualone: Yeah. And I think that's the key right there. You made a decision. You, you weighed the facts, you weighed the options, you said this is what I'm going to do, and I probably [00:20:00] learned behavior from, and inherited from your dad, you just flipped the switch and went a new direction.

Would you say that's accurate?

Mark Collins: Yeah, absolutely. There was no struggle or any kind of challenges with it. But I think what happens is you're, you know, and again, maybe for my parents or just us in general as human beings, when you find something that's important enough, it's easy to give up something that's not.

David Pasqualone: Yeah. And that's interesting because this for a second because we have listeners all over the world who are like, man, yeah, it might be easy for you, but it's not easy for me. And I've heard this so many times before where People one side or the other, it seems. And, you know, obviously if you could figure out the solution, it would help so many People.

Right. But, um, you know, like for me, In the past, it's either on or off or, you know, do that or don't do that. Or okay, I've become addicted to blank. So I just need to stop before it gets worse. [00:21:00] And I remember speaking to somebody in my family. And they're like, Yeah, you and blank can do that. But the rest of us are just like, we can't we're addicted.

And I'm like, What? I'm like, just, you can control your hand if it goes to your mouth, you control it. So my mind didn't understand that. But the older I got, the more I see that, okay, if you have a addictive personality that's controlled, or if you have an addictive personality, that let's say is controlling, it starts with a decision.

So in your experience, Mark, I guess if you were to externalize your internal thought process. How did you come to the decision of getting clean that way it's stuck?

Mark Collins: Here's the truth of the matter. I think for a lot of us and myself included it, it's, there's who you believe you are, and you try and measure up to that person.

And so it is [00:22:00] actually in a lot of the work that I do nowadays, really a lot of my transformational journey was understanding who I was created to be versus what my life and my past and the People around me told me I was. And so in that place, even in, you know, smoking weed, doing the things that I was doing, it was, it wasn't an identity statement.

I didn't believe I was an addict that was living it out. I believed I was doing things to kind of numb myself against the life I didn't like. And so really, for me, it came down to an identity statement. That wasn't the man I believed I was going to be. It wasn't the man I believed I could be, but it was the person that I was being at that moment.

And so for me, it was really starting to get to that point of, I know I can be more than this. I know there's more to my life than what I'm living right now. And in that place, that conviction allowed me to look for answers or look for alternatives, even if they weren't concrete and clear. Right. I didn't have a road map towards the life I desire to have, I just knew I was more than the life that I was living.

[00:23:00] And so for me, it was giving up those things. But from a standpoint of understanding, this isn't me. And I think for a lot of People, it's that same thing, right, where you're living from the place of who you believe you are, right. And if it's aligned with the things that bring you value and worth and have impact and fulfillment, then that's amazing.

But sometimes it's in those places where you don't believe Great things about yourself where you actually believe the opposite that you live those out as well for me It was living that out and and knowing that Susan was my wife part of the motivation But I wasn't doing it for her I was doing it because I needed to show up as the person I believed I could be for her and the children

David Pasqualone: Okay, and then where does your life go from there?

So now you meet this great woman You're making changes in yourself for yourself, but also for her and the kids And then take us from there to today. I'm sure there's a lot of spots in between, but we'll just start the process

Mark Collins: Yeah, [00:24:00] um Christianity was a big part of it. It was really trying to figure out what does it look like to be a man of god?

Uh, so because we went to church early on with kids and and there was a point where I saw People around me Were in a business association with other christian individuals and I saw in them something I didn't have You a joy and a peace and a lightheartedness that wasn't a part of who I was, right? And, and, but I wanted it in my life.

And the one thing I saw in all of them that I didn't have was that they were all Christians. And so it was part of being around that community of believers that I started to think that this is something I want for myself, not, not necessarily relationship with God. I really didn't understand all of that and everything that goes along with it, but I wanted what they had that they displayed to me.

And so in that place, you know, for us, I was at a, meeting that had a Service that had an altar call which means they invited People who wanted to accept jesus to come forward I looked at my wife. I said I need to do this and and [00:25:00] 27 years old I walked forward and and did accept jesus as My lord and savior and then from there start to try and live it out and and figure out what does this look like?

What does the relationship look like? The things I hear from the pulpit, the things I read in the Word, how do I live that out? How do I, how do I have a conversation with somebody I don't see? How do I know when he's talking to me? How do I live out the life that I believe I'm created for, that I see in other People in the Word and around me?

And, and really try and navigate that relationship and that conversation of what it looks like to actually live out my Christian faith.

David Pasqualone: Yeah, and we kind of skipped the gap from where you were making the decision to change to how you got to church that day. Did Susan go to church? Did you guys both meet somebody?

How did you even get down that path?

Mark Collins: Yeah, yeah, as I mentioned earlier, when I was getting a relationship with her, it was, It was trying to show up as the husband and father that I believe I could be. My children sort of had a father in their [00:26:00] life. I mean, he was kind of here and there. He wasn't really consistent.

But I was the in home presence and wanted to be that relationship and that role for them. And so for us, very early on, it was knowing that, you know, the foundation and moral teaching, the good teaching that we wanted to give was in Christianity. And so we started going to church pretty early on when we became in relationship with each other.

She had grown up as in a Catholic faith. Up until she became, you know, so her family moved to California when she was a young teenager, and I grew up in church as a young person because my dad was in the military and we would go to church until I actually was 12 years old. And when he finally retired, so we weren't moving anymore.

And so in that place, you know, we had that generic background, meaning it wasn't really a relationship, it wasn't ongoing, but we had a past and a background that understood it. And so it was something we did early on when her and I started, you know, Again, living the life we were living where we lived together before we got married for a couple of years, but we [00:27:00] started going to church and figure out what does this look like?

And so that's kind of where the whole relationship came from. And then along with that, going to church, I was in a business association with other People who were Christians as well and hadn't accepted Christ. But I was going to church because I knew I knew that the kids needed it, right? You do this because you know that they need it.

We're not realizing that God's doing something in you as well.

David Pasqualone: Yeah. And that's the beautiful part. If you're going to a church that preaches the Bible and preaches the truth, it's going to capture your mind and your heart if you let it, and it changed your life for the better. So now you saw these men with peace and joy.

Now you trust Christ as your savior. And again, it's just not religion. It's not just church. It's a real relationship. It's your heavenly father and you now know each other, right? Where does life go from there?

Mark Collins: Well, you know, life moves forward. Um, we started moving forward, you know, started to do well vocationally and looking towards some entrepreneurial things.

And in that Christian faith, that walk, it [00:28:00] was really, so there's where the real struggle happens, right? It's, it's this place of knowing what it's supposed to look like to live out your faith and your walk and, and seeing a different one in your life. Struggling with sin and issues and challenges and thoughts and trying to figure out, okay, how am I, how am I going to overcome this?

Right? Where's this transformation? Where's this? ability to live out the life that I'm supposed to or believe that I'm called to. And, and, and, you know, you, you find that you're falling short, you find that you're failing, I said it in air quotes, but you're struggling with the life that I used to live, the person that I had habits in being for 2728 years of my life versus the one I believe I'm supposed to be, I can be and I'm promised to be in the Word of God.

So that was the real challenge was, really trying to figure that out. And, and of course, like every person, at least every man, or at least maybe it's just me, you know, I tried to figure it out through habits. If I can master my [00:29:00] habits, right, if I can read the Bible every day, if I can pray every day, if I can, you know, do the things right, that what I call it, the checklist for Christianity, if I can live that out, Now, all of a sudden, I'm going to amaze, you know, it's going to be an amazing change in my life.

And I don't say that to derive those things. But what I tell People is that you can't have it your way to freedom, you can only have it your way to having great habits. So, so it was really trying to walk and navigate through that there's a lot in there, a lot that I learned from it. And a lot that led me to wanting to, you know, create, you know, an ability and a roadmap for other People to do the same, which is have a transformational journey, not just habits that you maintain.

David Pasqualone: Yeah, and you kind of hit on it. That was my next question. So there's People listen to this show, all cultures, all countries, all backgrounds. Some believe in God, some have trusted God, some don't believe in God, but they know our guests bring content that's foundational that works. So when you [00:30:00] started your habits, You know, like you said, it may work for you.

It may not work for somebody else, but truth is truth. And foundations are foundations. If they work for everybody, right? Two plus two is always four, no matter what you believe, what country you're in. Right. It's four. So what were some habits that you started with that maybe our listeners can to, to get their journey of balance?

Mark Collins: Yeah, absolutely. I think here's, here's the thing I try and unpack for People. It's, it's, if you're creating habits so that you can have a checklist, then you're always going to be, uh, finding yourself failing because the checklist isn't the thing, right? So, so in, in, in the, the life that I live in and, and for me, it's a Christian faith.

So in that place, it's a habit towards something, the habit for habits sake, just leave you with something that leaves you exhausted. And that was the same for me. You know, I felt like if I memorized and All the scriptures I could now all of a sudden I receive the transformation. Well, that's not in in creating habits that you [00:31:00] maintain.

It's in the transformation you find in it. It's an instruction that it provides for you. And so for me, it's starting to figure out, okay, what is the thing that you're trying to do? I'm not, I'm not trying to create a checklist because that's just another way for me to control my life. But I'm trying to figure out it.

For me and for the People that I work with, it's understanding. Okay. So start with this, start with maybe you're a person of created value and worth that your worth isn't in your past experiences or the successes in your life, but it's innately in you because of you just being a person who's been created.

And in that place, the habits should lend themselves towards a relationship for me with a creator who helps you to unpack that to me, the relationship with God is two things that helps me understand who my God is and who I am. And in that place, I'm able to live it out. So it's not habits so that I can have a checklist that I finish every day, but it's saying, okay, what is this revealing about my God and about me?

And in that place, you start to be able to. see some things that you're not, find some [00:32:00] areas that you need to grow, find some healing in places that maybe you believe lies about yourself that weren't true, but were what your past had told you. So for me, it's the instruction and the truth that comes from it, not the habit of creating and completing it.

David Pasqualone: And how do you find that balance? Because obviously habits are habitual things we do each day, right? They're consistently done each day. And it doesn't matter what we quote unquote feel we do it and that usually brings us huge growth and we thrive from it But like you said, we don't want uh christianity or a relationship with christ You know christianity means to be christ like Um, and there's nowhere in the bible where People can call themselves christians other People call them christians when they saw the difference in them, right so When we are living our day to day lives, we want to have habits that are positive, but we don't want to be just checking off boxes and becoming [00:33:00] dead in our soul to it and numb to the joy of the Lord.

So how do you find that balance? Or how do you teach People to find that balance?

Mark Collins: Yeah, what I tell them is this, it's it's not the what, it's the why. And so what I mean is this, I invite them to so what's, I invite them to do this, try and find the why behind the what. So a Christian example would be this.

I want to pray and spend time with God every day. Well, what's the why behind that? Is the why because it's a habit I'm trying to re earn the Christianity that I've been given for free? Or is it because I want to be in a relationship with God? That allows me to understand him more. And in that intimacy, be able to grow in the things that I'm called to.

Why am I trying to lose weight? Why am I trying to gain muscle? Why am I trying to start a business? Why am I trying to do these things that I believe are positive habits in my life, right? Stopping smoking, not doing drugs. you know, having a quality relationship with an individual. For me, a lot of the things that I work with People are [00:34:00] really helping them unpack.

It's not me creating a habit to become somebody, it's be creating the habit because I'm somebody and in that place being able to reveal it. God's not changing People into somebody else. He's revealing who he created them to be. And so in those habits, it's really me understanding In that place, it's helping me to understand who I am.

The why is you unleashed as the person you're created to be. The answer to your life is you lived out as you were created for, and in that place, the things that I use as habits help me to understand it, understand what's standing in the way, understanding what I need to gain, and understanding who I need to be.

And so for me, it's the why behind the what, what is your why? Is your why because you want to create something? Or do you want to be to become someone? Or is it because You think this is the same habit that everybody else has. And just in doing a habit, I get to change. You know, I can have a habit of going to the gym and I can even do exercise, but at some point it's not going to work.

If I don't have a goal to reach, I could [00:35:00] do the same thing over and over again. And come to find out if you do that in weightlifting, all of a sudden there'll be a stagnation in your growth because after a while there's something different that needs to happen. And even in that. Just going to the gym doesn't change you, but going to the gym with a goal of becoming a better person, becoming more healthy, becoming more active, working towards an athletic activity.

Now, all of a sudden you start to see yourself exponentially grow because I understand my, why my, why is this goal that I have. I understand the habits that I'm building in myself to be able to become that person. And in that consistency, I'm not consistent for consistency sake. I'm consistent towards the goal and the dreams that I have.

David Pasqualone: Amen. So now you're with your wife, you're in a men's group, business is thriving. There it's growing at least bring us from there to today.

Mark Collins: Yeah. And so from there, I mean, this thing that you and I have been just kind of unpacking for the last few minutes was the journey for me because I [00:36:00] was that Christian who did habits because I thought the habits would change me.

The habits didn't change me. The habits brought me into the room where I could be changed. And so it wasn't praying to prayer of sake, it was really trying to unveil and unleash the person I'm created to be by understanding a relationship with God who I am. And in that, I started to undo some things and started to become the person I believed I could be.

The whole journey, honestly, David, from the time I was probably 15, 16 years old until this time that you and I are at in my life, Was me believing there was somebody I could be that wasn't showing up that person of confidence and assurance of passion and purpose, that person who didn't hold back and didn't try and control his life, but really lived for who he was.

That's why I believed I could be, but even in success in business, I wasn't showing up as that guy. I was, I was still dealing with fear of failure, imposter syndrome and all sorts of things that were coming along with it. The doubts of who I was right. And, and of course, we can draw that line right back to trying to measure up to [00:37:00] a father that I didn't believe I could, and in that place using all these other things to do it.

And so part of that Christian journey for me was starting to unpack and see in the Word of God and in that relationship with him, that I did have value and worth, that it wasn't in my past or my, and the things that I've walked through, and it wasn't in my successes. Not that my successes or my past didn't matter, but I had innate value simply because I was.

And so I started to live those things out. And, you know, like with yourself and anybody else, when you find something you believe brings amazing results. And for me, I believe it brought transformation. I had done a lot of personal development. The thing we didn't unpack was all the books and the courses and the things I did that, that I tried to use to bring change.

But they, those habits we talked about, they brought habits I had to maintain. They didn't bring a transformation I could live in. And so, In that walk with a lot of different things along with it, I started to unpack and uncover the person I believed I could be, and I was living out. That person of confidence [00:38:00] and assurance that person who showed up and didn't didn't worry.

What were the results going to be? What happens, you know, when things aren't going right? Is it me? That's a failure or is it just a bad decision? So in that place in finding those results and finding that transformation, it was my passion to see other People have it as well. I tell People I created what I believe is a transformational course because I couldn't find one.

And what I wanted to give People was the ability to have that. Cause I was that guy that, that woke up at three o'clock in the morning. anxious and fearful right in the middle of my business and there's, you know, financial consequences to what's going to happen the next day. And I don't have an answer for them.

But I know that the negative of it can be really bad for us. And in that place waking up in a cold sweat, because you don't know if you're going to be able to accomplish this thing. And it's not the task, that's the issue. It's the identity statement you take from it. It's not that I failed at doing this thing.

It's that I'm a failure. So I know who that guy was. And so for me, the passion [00:39:00] was. giving People the tools so they didn't have to struggle in their life, right? Outwardly looking amazing, got the business, got the family, got the income, looking good, but nobody knows you at three in the morning or you with those thoughts that you're dealing with and that struggle that you're walking through.

And so for me, it was really having an engaged passion that says if People only knew how to get there, their whole life would be different. Their whole life would be changed. Even Christians. who are living for God and walking in their relationship, still dealing with those same struggles. And so for me, it was really trying to live it out.

And part of that was becoming a pastor and then, and then working on some tools and strategies and things that I've used to try and help other People to, to find that place of transformation to, as I tell People, unlock and unleash your hero in hiding and your business, your job, your relationships in life, unlock who you are and the impact you're supposed to have.

David Pasqualone: Yeah. And so how many [00:40:00] People do we both know and that are out there listening right now that do wake up at 3 a. m. They wake up, they're just they can't sleep. They're having nightmares. They're just like worried about tomorrow and they're trying not to, but they are. What are some of the tech 3 a. m.

techniques we'll call it that you say, Hey, try this. It's helped me hope it helps you. What are some techniques, Mark, that you'd recommend People do when they wake up? Stress their blood pressure is high at 3 a. m.

Mark Collins: Yeah, that's a great question. So I wrote a book. It was the title was life mastery, living life by design, not by default.

And what I tell People is. Most of us are living by default, which is as in reaction to the life that we're living, the stress, the word, the things that you're in, I are talking about. And so for me, it's the work you do before you get there that helps you while you're there, meaning this. One of the first things that we do is I invite People to create an I am statement.

Who are you created [00:41:00] to be? And what it is, is it's something that separates you from your past and your experiences. You've obviously, everybody's heard about some of mine, right? It doesn't mean those experiences didn't matter in my life, and they didn't have an impact. But what they aren't able to do any longer is to tell you who you are.

And it's you apart from your successes, because I know People and I've worked with People who are highly successful, just like myself, you're successful on the outside, and you're struggling on the inside. And so it's who you are apart from that. So the very first thing is, is this I am statement, who are you, as a person who's a Christian, I tell People, you know, the first conversation I would have would be with God and say, God, who did you make me to be?

And so it starts with that. Who do you say you are? Because who you say you are is who you're going to become. Is that aligning with who God created you to be or who you believe you are? Right? Again, not everybody's a Christian, but I believe innately we know that there is a person that is somebody of impact that we're created to be.

So write that down. Give yourself the tools to be able to do that. [00:42:00] Because the truth of the matter is that two o'clock, three o'clock in the morning, there's a, there's a script that you're reciting. Yeah. There's things that you're telling yourself. There's outcomes that you're believing. You can call it catastrophizing or whatever you want to call it.

Negative outcomes. You're, you're believing towards something in your life, right? It's going to be horrible. We don't have negative emotions because of positive thoughts. We have negative emotions because we have thoughts that are telling us that this is going to go horribly wrong and it's going to be my fault.

So the first is an I am statement. What are the, what's the things you're telling you about yourself? As I talk with the People I work with, I tell them it's either aligned with who God says you are, or it's lying to you. There is no in between. And so first off, give yourself something to say that is actually empowering and positive and enriching and unleashing because that is more aligned with who you are than anything.

for joining. And then the second thing I would do is first strategy. We use transformational strategies, mastering your thoughts. If you continue to [00:43:00] recite, if you repeat who you are, you'll find yourself becoming that person. There's a scripture, if you want to use the Word of God, it's Proverbs 23, 7. As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.

It's an instruction about a rich guy who's acting one way on the outside, generous and kind to the person that this is being addressed to. But on the inside, he's somebody different. But in there is an instruction. And the instruction is, As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. So I am the sum total of who I believe I'm going to become today.

So how do I change to become the person I have confidence in assurance and passion and purpose, change your thoughts, align your thoughts with who you are created to be, not with what your past has told you, or the negative thoughts are telling you right now, if you continue to do that, right again, another scripture, let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart.

That's your thoughts. Be pleasing in your sight, O Lord my God. Well, if my thoughts about myself aren't aligned with who He says I am, then are they the truth or are [00:44:00] they a lie? And what if I speak the truth about myself, and in those places remind myself of who I am when stressful situations happen, and all of a sudden that man or woman that I'm created to be, the person I tell People, you're the answer to the circumstance you're walking into, you're not the question to be figured out, that person shows up.

David Pasqualone: Yeah, and when you were speaking, I mean, sometimes I think we're all at times self deceived and you know, that's Satan's goal. God brings a truth, Satan tries to, it's like rat poison. He can even take a truth and put that 5 percent poison in it. And yeah, it's 95 percent good food, but he, you'll die from that 5%, right?

Absolutely. But um, you know, the answers for us, are in the Bible. Old Testament knew they don't contradict each other. And, you know, I know in Old Testament knew they phrase it sometimes differently, but, [00:45:00] um, commit that works unto the Lord and I thought shall be established. That's it. easy passage to understand.

It's basically saying, just start doing the right things and then your mind will catch up. So when Mark and I are talking about thoughts, ladies and gentlemen, if you're like, I'm selfish, I'm just picking something out of the air, go do charity work. And the more you do charity work, the more you're going to see a need for it.

And that's, again, might be even a superficial thing, but. It's just an example. If you are X and you do the right habits, like Mark was talking about, your mind's going to heal and your heart and everything's going to change. So that's, that's great that you say that. So when you're working with People, are you seeing them have more or less success with certain techniques or certain ways to [00:46:00] actually practically change their thought patterns, Mark?

Mark Collins: Yeah, I think a lot of it is that living life by design, which what I tell People to do is to prepare yourself for battle before the battle begins, not after you're in it. And so the thing that we talked about mastering your thoughts and the IM statement that you have, right, if you're reminding yourself of who you are, before you have struggle or strife or issue in your life, now all of a sudden, that person starts to show up.

The truth of the matter is, whatever you want to call it, psychologically or physiologically, Here's the truth. You can only have one thought at a time. Your mind cannot contain two thoughts at the same time. So it's either going to be one of the others. So why don't you give yourself the ability to have the thoughts that lead you towards empowering results by actually reframing, if you will, as they could talk about in, in.

Personal development circles, right? So, so for us, it is that place of, what are you reminding yourself of? Are you waking up saying, this is who I'm created to be, and this is what the impact I'm going to have. Or are you waiting until [00:47:00] stress happens or a challenge comes up or some negative thing happens in your life?

And at that point, you're trying to remind yourself of who you are. Here's the interesting thing in the Word of God, and I see it throughout all of history as well. You never prepare for a battle after you're in the war. You prepare ahead of time. So in that place, it really is that place of saying, remind yourself of who you are, right?

It's in, in, in scripture, it talks about taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. So in that place, it's living by design, which means this, the instructions from the Word of God, you're living them out. So what are you telling yourself on a daily basis? Whatever you're telling yourself, you'll become.

David Pasqualone: Yeah, I couldn't agree with that more. And then another thing. Um, one of our guests years ago, this shows been on for more than five years. I think we've done 300 plus episodes, but one of our guests, um, wow. [00:48:00] I remember his first name, Rob, but my mind just went total blank, the iceberg model. And he is a great human.

He's helped People I personally know, he's helped me, but one of the things he said is when you're hearing those thoughts, what is it saying? And I was like, what? He's like, what exactly? What are you hearing? And I kept hearing like, you suck, you're no good, yeah, yeah, yeah, you, you, you. It's like, all right, that's not your thoughts.

He's like, those are thoughts. They're being planted in your head or have been playing your head. Those are straight from Satan. He's like, if it's saying I am this or that, he's like, that's a whole different conversation. That's what you believe about yourself. But you are, is someone accusing you and who's the great accuser Satan.

So I, that was really powerful to me. And that's what you're saying. Basically, it's just going back to those thoughts [00:49:00] and really evaluating first off, what is it saying? What is truth? And who am I? Like I am who that God created me to be. So we skipped a huge part of your life, Mark, you went from a businessman who's grown, who got saved and is growing as a Christian to now you're a pastor, fill in the gap, how that happened.

Mark Collins: Yeah, I, you know, it happened because I really believe that if People knew God in the relationship that I had, not that my relationship was perfect or better than anybody else's, but there was an experience of God I had during this journey and really living out my life as to the best of my ability that I believed again, like with those transformational tools that caused me to create that course life mastery, it was really believing that if you only knew how amazing he is, how, how, how ever present he can be, how much he can interact in your life and be an intimate part of, of living out your daily life, that everything would change for you.

And so for me, you know, the natural next step is, okay, well, [00:50:00] how do I, how do I find the ability to do that, to, to do that more, more than just on weekends and Sundays and at small group studies. And that was really to, for me, at least at that point to become a pastor, to really, to really use it as the opportunity to have a vocation that, gives People the tools and strategies and ideas and thoughts and Habits to be able to become that person and so that that led me down that road, right?

It was a personal passion for god that led me to want everybody to experience that as well And that led down that road towards pastoral licensing and becoming the social pastor at the church that i'm that i'm at right now While being bi vocational, I still have a vocation as well. So and I still have the life master things I do i'm wearing many hats and I have wife and kids but um Yeah, it was that part of really wanting to see People have that experience of God, to have the reality of God be the reality of their life.

David Pasqualone: Excellent. So between your birth and today, is there [00:51:00] anything we miss that you want to talk about, Mark, before we transition to where you are today and where you're heading next, so we as a community can help you get there?

Mark Collins: Yeah, I think those are the big marquee items. I, you know, we could talk about little minute details, but those are the big subjects of my journey till today, like we had talked about.

David Pasqualone: All right, so where's Mark today and where are you headed next?

Mark Collins: Mark, today is exactly what we had talked about. I'm a pastor who's also bi vocational, meaning that I, I am definitely a social pastor in my church, but I also have a business that creates income. Um, but my goal, my goal and my passion is this, this work I'm doing called Life Mastery.

And what it is, is, Those things we talked about that transformational journey of using the Bible as instruction to live out who you're created to be It's really being able to invest that more and more in People who who have a heart and a desire to see that in their own lives, so Got the course life mastery that's out there.

I [00:52:00] I published the book Last fall actually life mastery living life by design not by default My, uh, my mom told me I should write a book and you write about what you're passionate about. So I did what I consider to be a quick start guide. It's the book, the life mastery. And I was able to give my mom the first copy.

Um, last April, April of 2024 before she passed. So, um, have that in place of the resources that I'm providing, but it really is that investment I'm putting into People to be able to live out that life. So that's, that's the trajectory towards which I'm going.

David Pasqualone: And that's fantastic.

Mark Collins: Now, is your father still alive?

He's not, he passed in 2019, actually.

David Pasqualone: Okay. I'm sorry to hear that. So both your mom and dad have passed at this point, but she got to see that success.

Mark Collins: Yeah, absolutely. And she was my biggest fan. I, I, I missed those times, weekly conversations where she'd ask me what I'm doing and I'd be able to share with her where I was at.

So yeah. It was, it was good to be able to have those times in those years with them. [00:53:00]

David Pasqualone: Well, let me ask you another question too. Did you ever feel like you won your father's approval or were you always fighting for it till the day he died?

Mark Collins: It's interesting. Um, I remember in my twenties, I, um, I was living in California, went back to where my parents were at at the time, Utah, and went to my dad's office to visit him.

But we had a, you know, a quality relationship. It wasn't something where I was estranged or anything, but. It definitely wasn't as close as it could have been, but I went to his office and a person who worked for him was there. And I said, Hey, I'm here to see John, which was my dad's name. She said, Oh, um, who are you?

I said, well, I'm a son. She said, Oh, your father's so proud of you. I was, I think, 24 years old and I had never heard my dad say it to me, but I guess he said it to somebody about me. And it was interesting because it had less of an impact than I would hope it because by that time I had stopped trying to find that place of being.

him being proud of me. But [00:54:00] later on in life, as my dad, you know, became older. And as I started to walk towards pastoral ship, and I started to talk to him about, you know, those about Christ and about church and about prayer and about his life. And, and we started to become closer in that place. And, and he did tell me later on, you know, I was probably in my 40s, and he was much older in his 60s, that that he was proud of me.

So there was that place where I felt that there was this, um, this pride that he had in his son, and it was important to me. He died in 2019. I became a pastor right before then, and it was one of those things, much like with the publishing of the book and having my mom get the first copy. It wasn't something that he told me I needed to do, but it was something I wanted to do while he was still alive.

Again, that pride from your father to show him that I had accomplished it. So

David Pasqualone: if our listeners want to reach out to you, Mark, get a copy of your, you know, any kind of [00:55:00] books or literature you have, or join a class, what's the best way for them to reach you?

Mark Collins: Yeah, David, I try to be a one stop shop and my one stop is my website.

So. My website is freedom 4 life. net, freedom 4 life. net. You can, you can obviously sign up for my course, get all the bells and whistles that are involved in that very robust teaching. But one of the things I have out there that I try and point People to as well as the e version copy of my book. So you can have it on any format, any device that you have.

So I've got the ebook version of Life Mastery Living Life by Design, not by default on my website as well. And you can go ahead and grab that and start your life mastery journey.

David Pasqualone: Beautiful. Well, Mark, it's been a pleasure having you here today. Ladies and gentlemen, like our slogan says, listen, do, repeat for life.

Echoes a lot what Mark's saying, right? We're both saying what God says. We're not geniuses. God is. He's perfect and holy. [00:56:00] So when you have good knowledge that you're presented with, don't just listen to it, but do it. Repeat it each day. Have those positive habits. So you can have a great life in this world, but more importantly, an attorney to come.

So I'm David Pasqualone. This is our Remarkable friend, Mark Collins. Mark, thank you for being here today. My joy. Thanks for having me, David. Amen. Ladies and gentlemen, reach out to Mark, go shop our sponsors. And more than anything, besides you applying this to your life for growth. and peace and joy. Share it with your friends and family so others can be helped too.

We're not trying to be rich and famous. We're trying to be, what's the word I'm trying to use here, a life that's not wasted. We're trying to be useful. We're trying to be loving. We're trying to help you. And by us bringing you truth, we're helping you. sharing across the world, helping as many People as we can.

Hopefully we all grow together, have [00:57:00] more love, joy and peace and glorify our father. So I'm David Pasquale. Thank you for watching the Remarkable People podcast. And thank you again, Mark, for being here today.

Mark Collins: My joy. Thank you.

David Pasqualone: Amen. Ladies and gentlemen, we'll see you in the next episode. Ciao.

Announcer: The Remarkable People podcast.

Check it out.

Remarkable People podcast. Listen, do repeat for life.

The Remarkable People podcast.