Randy Adkins Jr. | Accepting Our Circumstances, Taking off Masks, & Changing the Temperature of Every Room

“We need to ask ourselves daily, “What are the things I’m grateful for today?” “ ~ Randy Adkins Jr.

Guest Bio: Randy Adkins Jr. a Lowcountry native of South Carolina, USA, creatively weaves his experiences as a corporate consultant, ordained minister, community leader and Distinguished Toastmaster into a tapestry, inspiring observers to integrate spiritual growth principles into everyday life. Randy has a passion to create lasting change in lives through writing, teaching and speaking. He is an altruistic leader, organizational visionary, captivating speaker and respected adviser with a mission is to inspire individuals to be leaders, change agents and go-getters.

SHOW NOTES: 

• Website(s): https://www.randyadkinsjr.com
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/randyadkinsjrspeaker/
• X (formerly Twitter): https://x.com/randyadkinsjr
• Youtube: https://youtube.com/@produceonpurpose
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/randy-adkins-pmp-acp-csm-cspo-a979069?trk=hp-identity-name
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/randyadkinsjr/
• FrankSpeech URL: https://frankspeech.com/a/3kssc

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Transcript

Randy Adkins Jr. | Accepting Our Circumstances, Taking off the Masks, & Changing the Temperature of Every Room

[00:00:00] David Pasqualone: Hello friends, I'm David Pasqualone and welcome to this episode of the Remarkable People Podcast, The Randy Atkins Jr. Story. This week, Randy is a software engineer, he is a minister, he is an author, he is a podcast host, but he's also a brother of ours and a great human. You're going to be able to listen to not only his story and what he's learned on the way, but you're going to get the practical tips.

[00:00:30] David Pasqualone: of how he was able to work through the loss of his brother, how he was able to learn to be grateful, how he's able to live with joy, how he's able to see this is what really matters in life and how he didn't have it in the past, but he does now. And you can too. So check out this remarkable episode of the podcast with our friend, Randy Atkins Jr. Right after this short 30-second affiliate commercial. 

[00:00:58] David Pasqualone: 30 second affiliate commercial? What can we do in 30 seconds? A lot. Go to mypillow. com forward slash remarkable. Pick anything you want on their website that you need or want. Use promo code remarkable at checkout and get 30 to 80 percent off everything you order every time. And right now free shipping 200 orders over 75 bucks.

[00:01:23] David Pasqualone: That's it. After the podcast go check out MyPillow.

[00:01:27] David Pasqualone: Hey, Randy, how are you today, brother? Hey, I'm doing fantastic. It's wonderful to be on your show today.

[00:01:36] David Pasqualone: It is great to have you here and our listeners know we have extra big smiles because behind the scenes I had to edit and cut because I kept saying things wrong. So, we are here today and you just heard a little bit about Randy and his story and what to expect. But Randy, we have listeners from all over the world that have been with us for the five years, 300 podcasts we've recorded.

[00:01:58] David Pasqualone: We have some people listening for sure for the first time today. If anybody, whether they're a serial listener and friend Or whether this is their first time, if they stick through your episode today, what do you guarantee they're going to get that benefits their life? 

[00:02:14] Randy Adkins Jr: They're going to find a way to live life with joy, peace, and love.

[00:02:20] Randy Adkins Jr: Love and excitement, even when they feel like everything external to themselves may be falling apart. Outside, it may look gloomy. It may be rainy. In fact, your bank account might look in the negatives and red. You may have aches in your body. However, There is a way to live life where you not only are affected from the outside in, but you will begin to affect this world from the inside out.

[00:02:51] Randy Adkins Jr: In essence, you will begin to produce based on your purpose. 

[00:02:57] David Pasqualone: And that's something that every human needs, whether they know it or not. Some people do it innately. Some people it's learned behavior. Some people still haven't figured it out and they're 57 years old, right? So how did you get to this point, Randy?

[00:03:13] David Pasqualone: How did you learn this? How did you come to discover it? Did you have just this like ideal life since the start? Did you grow and have ups and downs like the normal human being or you were some kind of weird alien? Where did your life begin, my friend? What was your upbringing like? 

[00:03:29] Randy Adkins Jr: Hey, it was definitely not perfect.

[00:03:32] Randy Adkins Jr: And as time went on I really learned different things throughout the process. I go back and there is a, a copy in my book called Produce On Purpose Experience Life Being The Real You, where I talk about me and a friend of mine around eight, seven years old. We would go, And create these you would call them contraptions in the backyard.

[00:03:56] Randy Adkins Jr: We would get tarp. We would get wood. We would get anything we could get, we get rope. We'll put it all together and we will create these worlds in the backyard, whether it was star Wars we would be playing Star Trek. Whatever it might be at the time, we would put it together in a day. And of course his mom would say, you got to put all this stuff back.

[00:04:17] Randy Adkins Jr: You're not going to leave my backyard in a disarray. But during that time, I learned something. I learned that our imagination Can be something that is powerful, that sometimes you can take something and you can do something with your hands and it becomes reality in this world. So sometimes I would share with my friend, yeah, Hey, I've got an idea.

[00:04:42] Randy Adkins Jr: Can you put this together? And he, he would start building what I'm saying. Sometimes he would come up with the idea and I'd build what he was saying. Sometimes we both would come up with it together. I found that I really liked. Being able to tell him my idea and then have him build it. So as time [00:05:00] went on, the curiosity built.

[00:05:02] Randy Adkins Jr: But there were a lot of ups and downs throughout my life and learning that I accumulated, but understanding that I could utilize my imagination, number one, to come up with ideas, to talk through things, and then see it become a reality from a very young age, was one of the initial concepts that kind of sparked my curiosity to And understanding what is this life all about?

[00:05:27] Randy Adkins Jr: How do I continue to make those steps to becoming better and becoming a better person in this life? Maybe relationships, being able to how to work through it. 

[00:05:39] David Pasqualone: Yeah. And then did you have any brothers or sisters at this time? Did you, were you an only child? What was your, your, 

[00:05:48] Randy Adkins Jr: So, I had two brothers, I'm the oldest, and so I had two younger brothers, and of course that's fun in and of itself, they were one was four years younger than me, another was nine years younger than me, and at the time, of course, the one that was four years younger than me would always, would always you Want to follow the things that I do, and as the big brother, you're like, no, go play with your friends.

[00:06:12] Randy Adkins Jr: Go play and have your fun. Or we would fight over things and you know, learn how to be able to fight and then come back and be like, oh, we're the best of pals. So one day you're mad, one day you're not. And then my younger brother which over years, it actually ended up becoming a defining moment. I write about it in my book.

[00:06:31] Randy Adkins Jr: At the age of 19, he was actually in a fatal car accident. So as time went on, this is one of the most defining moments of my life where I call it the midnight hour happened to me and I didn't know what to do because I watched my younger brother grow up. I watched him become who he was at the time at 19 and I couldn't wrap it around my mind that.

[00:06:59] Randy Adkins Jr: He may not be walking through the door again. And for months after his death, I was trying to see maybe he would just walk through the door. I had a, I was like, what was going on in life? How do you, how do you deal with this? And I really had a reckoning with, hey God, what am I supposed to be doing with this thing that you have done in this, in this, to me?

[00:07:22] Randy Adkins Jr: I don't understand. And six months later, my mother, during a holiday, It was Christmas. She brought a letter that she found upstairs in, on her computer. And the letter was from my brother. The letter was about me. And he began to explain that he enjoyed what I had done and the conversations we had and what I had done in life and all of these things that I thought.

[00:07:52] Randy Adkins Jr: I was never getting to or talking to him or he never understood or never said anything about and all of this was in the letter. I have the letter to the till this day. It encouraged me to make sure that if I have a message, I never know. Because it may not be physically there, you may not see a response or get feedback from someone, but that you should share that message no matter what.

[00:08:15] Randy Adkins Jr: And so, it has encouraged me since that time to share this message, whether it's writing, whether it's teaching, whether it's speaking, in any form that I can to share my message, because I know that By sharing that message, that it could be impacting someone. And so out of that deep, dark place where, you know, grief can be all encompassing.

[00:08:39] Randy Adkins Jr: I, I mean, I did not want to, you know, I wanted to figure out what was going on. I could not understand life at the time, but instead of it pulling me away from God, it actually pulled me closer to God in understanding, trying to figure out what is my purpose and what should I be doing in life. 

[00:08:58] David Pasqualone: And during this, did you have a mom and dad in the home?

[00:09:03] Randy Adkins Jr: Yeah, I had my mom and my dad. They, they both were there during that time. And you know, as, as we, at the time when my brother passed, I was already married and had a couple of children of our own. And so it was, it was definitely a interesting time to, you know, to try to capture and figure out.

[00:09:23] David Pasqualone: Yeah. And going back to your childhood, that was one of the questions I had. Yeah. When you use your imagination, you're playing with your friends and then you, I'm sure your little brothers would try to jump in, right? With your family, were they like supportive of it? Were they encouraging for you to imagine things or were they like, what are you doing?

[00:09:39] David Pasqualone: Like, what was their attitude towards you? Because sometimes people are encouraged and it just keeps growing. Sometimes people are discouraged, but they just know something's there. Where were you? 

[00:09:49] Randy Adkins Jr: Yeah, I would say it wasn't so much encouragement. I, I feel we were the latchkey generation. So my parents were always working.

[00:09:56] Randy Adkins Jr: We had the freedom to kind of go out and [00:10:00] play in the backyards and we were always all over the neighborhood doing things as long as we were home back at a particular time then that was the case. So. It wasn't like somebody telling us, Oh, yes, guys, go ahead and be so imaginative. No, it was kind of like, Hey, go and just make sure you're safe and nothing happens to you at the time.

[00:10:22] Randy Adkins Jr: And so that you know, allowed for us to kind of have that curiosity, try to think utilize our imagination in particular ways. And of course, boys being boys you know, we, we also would grab live, live animals, you know, whether it was frogs and crawdads and everything else. And we would sometimes do special things to them or read a book and talk about worms and see if you can get a magnifying glass and do something to the worm.

[00:10:48] Randy Adkins Jr: So, you know, it was imaginative things that we would do. 

[00:10:53] David Pasqualone: Yeah, yeah, yeah, normal, healthy, healthy childhood. When you were with your friends and you're discovering life, then you get into, let's go between your, you know, like, you know, your childhood. And then now you said you're already married with kids and your brother passes.

[00:11:17] David Pasqualone: Is there anything else significant in there, Randy, that you want to talk about before we move on to marriage and family and through today? Cause there's a lot of important foundational things. We don't want to dwell on the past, but all of those life lessons makes us the men and women we are today. So that's why I want to make sure we're not missing anything in the story.

[00:11:36] Randy Adkins Jr: Yeah, I would say that there was many different moments, but one of the moments I would say. Really impressed upon me to kind of get to know who my maker is, is was, was when I was 11 and I had gone to a vacation Bible school and during that time you know, I was curious, but didn't understand, you know, quite, you know, what was life about and wanting to understand some of, some of that.

[00:12:05] Randy Adkins Jr: And, you know, I went to a church revival for a while and, you know, went through the whole thing that entire week and, you know, nothing happened, but, you know, I was like hopeful that I would say, Oh, you know, I would, we get to know this God and didn't really, anything didn't really happen that time. And I started to say, well, you know, maybe this is not for me.

[00:12:26] Randy Adkins Jr: Maybe this isn't something I it's going to happen in my life. However, like. The Saturday after I said, you know what, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna just pray in my room by myself and say, Hey, You know, if you're here, let me know. I, I would love to have you in my life. And at that time, I did have a moment where you know, I felt like, you know, there was a hand of, of God or a presence or the source in my life that said, Hey, you know, I'm here with you.

[00:12:52] Randy Adkins Jr: I'm, I'm, I'm here with you. And at that moment, that was definitely a spark for me to understand a little more about, you know, what is it that drives me. What is it that I was manufactured for? How was I designed? What is this life about? And so during that time, that was definitely something else that kind of helped in me becoming who I am later on in life.

[00:13:15] Randy Adkins Jr: And, of course, the teenage years they were the teenage years. I tried everything under the sun. So, I would, there were all kinds of moments there. That's just how teenage years go. And you know, then. I met my wife in, in college. So that's when things changed. And we said, you know, we're going to live this life seriously.

[00:13:35] David Pasqualone: Yeah. Yeah. For whosoever, for whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. It doesn't matter who we are, what we've done. It doesn't matter how old we are, what country we're from. God loves us all. Right. So at that point, it sounds like you're talking about the moment of salvation where you're like, God, I don't fully understand this, but I trust you.

[00:13:51] David Pasqualone: Please save me. Like that kind of concept in your heart. 

[00:13:54] Randy Adkins Jr: Yeah, it was that and asked him. And in that moment, I felt and could feel the hand of God just touching me and saying, Hey, you are my son, you are saved. And, you know, go ahead and let's walk, walk together in this, in this life. And of course, As time went on, you grow into understanding more of who God is and more of what he built you for, why you're here, what your impact is supposed to be.

[00:14:25] Randy Adkins Jr: Of course, initially you don't know that, but You just say, I'm going to make a commitment to listen, try to understand, seek, what are you trying to tell me in these moments? And when different things happen, that's what has became that foundation and saying, yes, okay. Even when things I don't understand, I'm going to check out with you and see, hey, can you give me something that can help me along the way?

[00:14:51] Randy Adkins Jr: Yeah. 

[00:14:51] David Pasqualone: Yeah. I remember when I was 15, that's when, like, you know, I was going to church a little bit because of youth group and I was asking questions, it was a long [00:15:00] story there. But I remember there was that moment where I got that assurance in my salvation that I'm not going to die and go to hell. And I'm like, oh, and ever since after that, my whole life changed dramatically.

[00:15:11] David Pasqualone: And it's just, it's amazing. Fantastic. That's what the show is all about. Have people come to know God and grow in God and better your life. That's what our listeners know, whether they believe it or not, you know, that's what we're here for. So thank you for sharing that. So now, what part of the country did you grow up in too?

[00:15:28] David Pasqualone: We kind of skipped over that. 

[00:15:30] Randy Adkins Jr: Charleston, South Carolina. Okay. Yeah. 

[00:15:33] David Pasqualone: Yeah. South Carolina. Beautiful. So now you go to college, your brother passes, 

[00:15:40] Randy Adkins Jr: Yep, so I go to college find my wife there in, in college and really the, it's an interesting thing during that time when just before my, my fine, my wife and we get into a place I'm in school going through everything that I need to do and I go to a class.

[00:16:00] Randy Adkins Jr: It's my junior year. I'm in all of my classes for my, you know, my major. And I sit in class and the pa the, the teacher says, Hey, you know, well, if you didn't get called, the professor says, If you didn't get called, come to me after the, the class. And it's like, well, you didn't call me out. And he's like, oh yeah, I dropped you from all your classes cause you failed.

[00:16:21] Randy Adkins Jr: The class that is for all of your classes. Like what? You know, what do you mean? He's like, you can go talk to other professors, but I'm pretty sure they won't let you in their classes. So I had to scramble to find classes to make sure that I could still take classes during that time and ended up in a class that actually found that's where my wife ended up being in.

[00:16:44] Randy Adkins Jr: And if it wasn't for that failure, I would not have been taking that class. I don't know if I would have met her, but ended up meeting her in that class because of that failure. And I was completely bummed because of the failure. It actually had me in school for an extra semester, but you know, and the failure of the class is a whole different reason.

[00:17:06] Randy Adkins Jr: I ended up getting an A in the class the next semester, but that was one of those things where sometimes in life I learned that, you know, there are things that look like failure. But really, sometimes they're setting us up for other things to happen in our lives. My wife and I have been married for 27 years.

[00:17:23] Randy Adkins Jr: We have three children, beautiful children, two are an adult, one's on their way to finish up high school. You know, what can happen sometimes out of something that was, looked like a failure, but it was really setting us up to meet each other and to get to the place where we are. And of course we had gotten married.

[00:17:44] Randy Adkins Jr: We'd been married for a couple of years and that's when the tragic accident happened. And man, that day was a whirlwind got the call and. We all tried to gather together, try to find out what we needed to do. And you know, it was just a blur from there because it was all kinds of fleets of emotions that went on and it took hours before he actually did pass.

[00:18:08] Randy Adkins Jr: He was in a hospital for a while, but no, non responsive, completely burned, and it was difficult. So we then started moving into the space and I started talking about You know, how I felt during that time, and it was very difficult to the shock of it, the disbelief, the disarray, the confusion.

[00:18:30] Randy Adkins Jr: And then, you know, there was a lot of you know, time there that it's like, what do I do? And you know, there were moments where God just began to give his guidance, even in the midst of me questioning about life and why, why would something like this happen in my life? 

[00:18:49] David Pasqualone: Yeah, you know, they say hindsight's 20 20, and you're looking back now at your own life, and I'm sure it's still not easy.

[00:18:56] David Pasqualone: It's hard. It was a horrible situation. But like you said, even Phil in the class, the Bible says, all things work together for good to them that love him, to those called according to his purpose. And as bizarre as that is sometimes for us to believe anything good could come out of a certain situation, it always does in time.

[00:19:14] David Pasqualone: But looking back, As our first kind of talking point, what kind of suggestions do you have that work for you to help you dealing with the loss of your brother? 

[00:19:27] Randy Adkins Jr: Yeah, so I would share with anyone that is feeling and having those feelings, first of all, make sure you have a support network of people to just have a conversation that will just listen to you.

[00:19:41] Randy Adkins Jr: They're not there to provide you with some awesome answer, but that they will allow for you to speak it out because I found that talking about it and talking to, so it could be a therapist, could be a pastor, could be friends, could be family, whomever that may be around [00:20:00] you, that's going to listen to you in those moments for you to talk it out.

[00:20:05] Randy Adkins Jr: And if you have to cry, cry. And then also look for places, if you have faith, to really focus in, hone in for that comfort from what God will provide. Only God can provide a specific perspective on life and a comfort for you. And in those moments, many times I know if you would just take the time with yourself, really listen, feel those feelings.

[00:20:34] Randy Adkins Jr: But move to a place where if there's a scripture that you have, mine was Psalms 23, for example, to have a comfort to know that he was with me, even through the valley and the shadow of death, that he was there, that he was going to help me even if it was a difficult moment that he had answers.

[00:20:56] Randy Adkins Jr: And then lastly, you know, as you were, you know, Are going to this place that you just begin to just accept things for where they are, and that sometimes takes a time. But give yourself grace and time as you're moving through those situations. And in many times what will happen is you'll grow closer to God, you'll grow closer in your relationships, and you can grow stronger, but you do have to work through it.

[00:21:24] Randy Adkins Jr: Please try not to just push it aside and keep moving forward in your life because at some point if you do, It, it just becomes pressure that you're unable to kind of manage. So that would be my piece of tips. Everyone's situation is different, but I believe those tools can help someone along the along the way.

[00:21:47] David Pasqualone: Yeah. And I can't agree more. I. You know, the time, there's no, in the Bible, it doesn't say how long it takes people to heal or to forgive or to get through things. Sometimes it seems like it's moments, sometimes it literally takes like years and people don't consider that. They think it's now or you have other people saying, well, you must not be right with God because you're still sad or you're still angry.

[00:22:10] David Pasqualone: Well, some things take time, especially the deeper the love when you're betrayed or when you're have a loss, the deeper the pain. And it's, it's tough. So thank you for sharing that. And ladies and gentlemen, as you always know, Randy's information will be in the show notes, links to his book, his podcast, you can always reach out and contact, connect with him to continue the conversation because this is a difficult time.

[00:22:33] David Pasqualone: topic. And like you said, Randy, it's different for everybody in circumstance, but the foundational element is the same. You got to talk it out. You got to be real with God, with yourself. You got to be real with those around you. And every single time I know I've done that in my life, it's been free, freeing.

[00:22:52] David Pasqualone: And I think it's like that for every human on the planet. But when you hold it in, you get sick. I mean, I would say probably, you know, the majority of our illnesses in society today are. Emotional and spiritual. People carrying around guilt, shame, sin, all sorts of hidden secrets and lies. Well, if they just talk about it and bring it to the light, like 1 John, it's going to release.

[00:23:14] David Pasqualone: And when you were in your life, you said as soon as you got to the point where you could talk about it, you felt that freedom. 

[00:23:20] Randy Adkins Jr: Yeah, that freedom comes from, it's, it's really a place where you start to, to let go of the misunderstandings, maybe the attachments that you have and forgiving yourself, forgiving all that's around you.

[00:23:36] Randy Adkins Jr: And you know, that begins to provide a freedom and a lift in you that allows for you to maybe function in a way that you hadn't been functioning Sometimes what comes with grief is also some, you know, level of depression or guilt or shame or, you know, these things that you can release, let go.

[00:23:58] Randy Adkins Jr: Sometimes there may be times when you are angry. I always tell people sometimes you may be completely lethargic and move to anger. That's okay. You're moving up. And then you might move from anger to understanding and disillusionment. We're like, oh, wait a minute, I'm moving up. And maybe then you get to a place where you say, you know what, I have a better understanding of, of what's happening.

[00:24:19] Randy Adkins Jr: You're moving up in your, in your feelings and where you need to go. And at some point you may get to that place where you are at joy. of just life and gratitude of being able to have another opportunity for the possibilities of this life. And you're no longer focused on past, you're focused on the now.

[00:24:38] Randy Adkins Jr: And sometimes it takes us time to get to that place, to have that conversation and move through the process. But it is possible, and I encourage everyone to really seek to do it, even if it feels painful, even if it hurts, whatever is there. Keep moving, keep taking one step forward, and don't think that you [00:25:00] have to take like a leap and abound.

[00:25:02] Randy Adkins Jr: You know, we, you know, I always think of the superheroes, they talk about some of the superheroes that could do a leap and abound over a building. No, no leap and abound over a building. I'm just saying, just put one foot in front of the other each day. And as you do that, Consistently doing that over time, you will see it lift off of you and you will become who you are supposed to be in this moment.

[00:25:24] Randy Adkins Jr: And you can then start to accept what has occurred. 

[00:25:30] David Pasqualone: Yeah. And so many things, and we talk about steps in the show a lot, like just a catalyst. It may solve someone's issues today, listening to you, or it may just be the catalyst for them to that phase of their journey, right? But for you, when you're talking about Moving forward and getting through the trauma.

[00:25:53] David Pasqualone: If you were to break it down into steps. You said acceptance. That's such a huge, huge staple. Like so many, whether you want to call it a ministry, organization, so much psychological truth, biblical truth, the most important thing, right? Stepping our sin. Accepting our position, accepting our failures, accepting our situation our successes, whatever it is, acceptance is huge.

[00:26:19] David Pasqualone: So talk about how do you accept your situation, something terrible happened, you lose a sibling, your spouse cheats on you, how do you accept it? 

[00:26:30] Randy Adkins Jr: Yeah, I would say the first step in truly accepting is getting to a place where I call it letting go It's called forgiveness in the Bible. That first step is to let go of sometimes the, the traumatic pieces that maybe there's a feeling that you have and the feeling of sadness sometimes can be attached to something in the past that causes you pain.

[00:26:57] Randy Adkins Jr: And all of our feelings are blessings from God, regardless of what they are, they're all there. And I always equate it to in my car, I have a dashboard, I have gauges, and those gauges are just indicators that something's there, something's happening. It could just be the gas, it could be that it's overheated, but if it's the check engine light, it's different from the gas, and it's different from the overheating.

[00:27:24] Randy Adkins Jr: If the check engine light comes on, I probably need to go check that out. And it's probably something that is longstanding. It's probably something that really needs attention and something like gas. Well, you know, we can just go to the gas station and fill up. So we need to understand the emotions that we're having.

[00:27:43] Randy Adkins Jr: And sometimes what we're attaching to those emotions, because if every time you feel sad, you attached to an emotion that triggers you, then that means that that trigger is there because you haven't. Take in and disassociate the feeling or the emotion from that particular maybe it was something that happened to you, maybe it was something the way that you were thinking, and sometimes we end up in these patterns.

[00:28:10] Randy Adkins Jr: Where we don't let go. And that's part of this process. So when it comes to losing a loved one or comes to traumatic events or triggers that we may have, it takes a process of first saying, okay, I know, and I acknowledge that, you know what, this emotion, I'm attaching something to it. What is it? Why do I, why, why am I doing this?

[00:28:34] Randy Adkins Jr: And then saying, you know what, I can let that go. And I've seen it, how, whether you can ball your fist up really as tight as you can, and then you can physically just let go. And how does that feel? It feels lighter. Your hand feels, feels lighter. And it's the same thing with us. Sometimes we just need to let that go.

[00:28:53] Randy Adkins Jr: And once you begin to move into that process, there may be other areas of feelings that you're having and that you're going through that you need to address. And then you start going through and, and really addressing those and talking about those. And, Then, one of the biggest areas that I will share is make gratitude be a part of your life.

[00:29:19] Randy Adkins Jr: If you wake up in the morning, that's something to be grateful for. I get it, you might not feel good, you may not be, but you just woke up. That means you have another opportunity to continue to take a small step. That's it. That's all we're talking about. And some of the small steps I'll say is when you're in a really dark place or slow, you know, can't even get out of the bed, sometimes the first thing you want to do is take a small step and say, today I'm going to get out of the bed and I'm going to brush my teeth.

[00:29:47] Randy Adkins Jr: That's all you need to do. That's your goal. You're going to do it. And then the next day it might be, I'm going to get out of the bed. I'm going to brush my teeth. I'm going to shower. All right, you did it! Just the little things, [00:30:00] and compound those so that as time goes on, you're, you're actually also making movement.

[00:30:06] Randy Adkins Jr: And then you have taken the time mentally to forgive those things and keep working on that. You then get to a place where you can be gratified, you know, have gratitude. I share that on a daily basis at minimum, I'm going to wake up in the morning and say, what are three things that I'm grateful for?

[00:30:23] Randy Adkins Jr: Three different things that I'm grateful for. And it's not the same thing. So I'm a challenge myself. What are those three things? And then three times before and before three, three things before I go to bed, what were the three things that I'm grateful for today? And over time, if you continue to be grateful, there's not a whole lot of time to be in other stuff.

[00:30:42] Randy Adkins Jr: Because you're like, hey, I start to see the gratitude in all of this stuff that's out here. I can see you know, the beauty and the light that's in here and what's going on in my life. And so some of those steps, you know, forgiveness, letting go, moving to a place where you can get to gratitude. But I would say, Taking practical steps each day, just little things, and then getting to a place where you can start going into gratitude.

[00:31:06] Randy Adkins Jr: That will move you towards acceptance of life, and where life is at the moment, and that you're not overthinking either the past or the future. The past will cause you to be more depressed. The future will cause you to be in more of an anxiety state, and like, oh, what's going to happen tomorrow? You can take those steps and move into a place where you can get to acceptance.

[00:31:31] David Pasqualone: Yeah, I think that's excellent advice. Thank you so much, Randy. So now you're learning this firsthand at the time. It's obviously a lot, you know, hindsight's 20, 20. Again, it's easier to look back at your life, but now you're married, your brother passed. Where did your life go from there? 

[00:31:47] Randy Adkins Jr: So, At the time, I ended up growing closer to God and knew that I had a message I needed to share.

[00:31:53] Randy Adkins Jr: And in fact, I ended up having a call on my life to minister and to preach. And I went to, you know, school, went to seminary. Began became a licensed preacher you know, I had been a deacon in our church for, for years before that and I began to share messages in that way became an ordained minister helped out for, for many years as a assistant pastor and continue to do that till this day.

[00:32:22] Randy Adkins Jr: Because I know that there's a message and not only do I have a message when I'm with parishioners, but I have the message in all different forms, whether I'm a corporate consultant doing software or I'm doing on a board somewhere, I'm helping in those ways and being able to share that message of hope that there is joy, that there is love, that there is this excitement that you can have on a consistent basis.

[00:32:51] Randy Adkins Jr: And so, drew me closer to God, drew me in a place where I was more inquisitive about His Word trying to understand, okay God, you've given us these practical pieces of wisdom every day that we can utilize to help us to become the best versions of ourselves. How can I become the best version of what you made me?

[00:33:11] Randy Adkins Jr: And, you know, out of that comes, you know, simplistic ways to be able to share his word that's digestible, that you can teach, that you can be able to apply to your life. And so that's where I started moving into that direction. And over, you know, now 20 plus years, you, you know, you have more and more information to share all the time because it's a living word.

[00:33:35] Randy Adkins Jr: It's a word that continues to reveal itself to to me, to others. And it continues to change lives. And so that's kind of the overall big picture of, hey, you are now sharing a message in every place that you go, no matter where you are. If I, if I'm in a grocery store, I'm probably going to either give you a smile or something that's going to help you along the way so that we understand that we all have an impact on everybody's life that we meet.

[00:34:04] Randy Adkins Jr: Everything, every time we have an interaction, everything that we do, and how can I impact the world in a greater way as I move forward. How can that message that I may not get feedback on get to somebody and change their lives? 

[00:34:20] David Pasqualone: Amen. And then now you said you're married in South Carolina. You have two kids.

[00:34:27] Randy Adkins Jr: I have three kids. Three kids. Yeah. One, one is in Texas. One is about to be in New York. He's finishing up college. And then my youngest is about to graduate. So we, we're about to be what we call bird launching. You know, many people say empty nesting. We're about to finish our bird launching stage.

[00:34:46] Randy Adkins Jr: Get 

[00:34:46] David Pasqualone: the eagles out of the nest. Yes. Yeah. So what do you do? Are you full time in the ministry or where are you today? In your 

[00:34:57] Randy Adkins Jr: career. Yep. So I do multiple [00:35:00] things. I'm most, most of the time my vocation is I am a software consultant. I'm, I, I do you know, software development and engineering leading multiple projects that do that all the time.

[00:35:15] Randy Adkins Jr: I also do ministry, of course. Authoring a podcast host as well and just sharing that message on a consistent basis in many ways that I can and sharing in the community. How can we help those in the community in different forms? Also in Toastmasters to be able to impact and speak and lead in a greater way on different boards and different things like that.

[00:35:40] Randy Adkins Jr: So really making those interactions on a daily basis. And so in whether I'm a corporate consultant and doing my software leading projects, I'm sharing a great message of hope and helping those in their career. I've been doing that for 26 years and now, you know, continuing to pass that along and on a consistent basis.

[00:36:01] Randy Adkins Jr: So multiple, multiple things. So what 

[00:36:04] David Pasqualone: are you seeing now? We live in such unusual times. I mean, the same stuff that's been around since the dawn of man, since God created us after the fall of man, those same sins are still besetting us, right? But it seems to be accelerating and intense, just like the Bible described.

[00:36:23] David Pasqualone: It's going to get worse before he comes back, before Jesus comes back. So when you're in your ministry role, what are you seeing going right now, going on right now in our country and our church? 

[00:36:37] Randy Adkins Jr: So, there are multiple things going on. I, I believe that right now we have the way that we have seen religion or church is changing.

[00:36:48] Randy Adkins Jr: And that I think is rocking a lot of, a lot of the world. But we must be reminded that God is within us. And that's what Jesus talked about. That's what the Word talks about. And, Sometimes the approaches have changed over the years, because God, what He does, is He never changes, but sometimes the approaches will change.

[00:37:13] Randy Adkins Jr: So you see the approach of many that are in today's society a little different but there are still so many people that are seeking God, wanting to know who He is. There are many people that Love God and, and provide that information. I think sometimes we may be distracted because the media focuses on one side, primarily.

[00:37:38] Randy Adkins Jr: The other side of the story is never really told. And so I get to see both. You get to see what the media shares, but you also get to see the goodness of those who are seeking God, those who understand that God is within them, that they are created in His image, and that there is a light within them that they are to have shine upon this world.

[00:38:00] Randy Adkins Jr: Why would you take a light and put it under a bushel? Why would you take a light and cover it up? You wouldn't do that. You wouldn't take a candle and do that. You wouldn't take your flashlight and say, Hey, I'm gonna turn my flashlight on and just to cover it up, no, you would let it shine. And I think what we are seeing primarily happening is more and more people understand that they may have to shine in these dark moments.

[00:38:24] Randy Adkins Jr: They may have to shine in moments when it's not the best when there are things that are happening that may not be the best for everyone. It's one of those things that you can let your light shine, and as your light continues to shine, you can stand up for who God is. You can stand up for the love of God, because, you know, God's love is what we all need.

[00:38:45] Randy Adkins Jr: We need God's love to bind us together as one. When we see divisions, and we see all of those man made things, any divide is something that man has made. God, He's in everything. He's a part of everything. And so if I'm looking at someone, I should see the God in them, if I have God in me. And we should then begin to see God in all of the things that we see.

[00:39:11] Randy Adkins Jr: The things that create other things is man. Man is trying to create other worlds, create other things, but God, he's still on the throne. And so what you're seeing in churches is you may not see people attending physically like they used to. But there are still people seeking. So sometimes they're seeking through podcasts.

[00:39:32] Randy Adkins Jr: Sometimes they're seeking through other mediums now. YouTube or, you know, they're utilizing social media to seek God in those ways. And so that's what you're seeing. I think you're seeing a shift in how people are seeking God. And you're also seeing a shift in how people are communicating when it comes to having God really move in them and in this world.

[00:39:55] David Pasqualone: Yeah, I agree. That's beautiful. And I remember when I first got [00:40:00] saved and I'm reading my Bible, I'm reading about the rapture. And it talks about all the Christians, the trumpet will sound, the Christians go and meet Christ in the sky. And then everybody left behind, it says there's a short window for those who truly haven't heard about Christ to come to know him.

[00:40:17] David Pasqualone: Yep. And I remember thinking in the nineties, like, wow, that's amazing. If he's gone, if everybody's gone who's a real Christian, how are they going to come to know God? I'm like, would they really pick up a Bible? And then, now, how much of this content, podcasts, like you said, videos, how many websites, so people will literally Google, what happened to all my friends?

[00:40:41] David Pasqualone: And then it'll talk about the rapture somewhere, and they'll get the gospel. So as Christians listening, you should be writing and recording and leaving as much literature as you can. Because the cure for cancer is nothing compared to the cure for sin. So tell people about Jesus, just like Randy's saying, and load up the internet.

[00:40:59] David Pasqualone: Cause when you're gone, if you're saved, it's always gonna be left for people to find out the Bible, which is the most important thing. But if they don't know to pick up a Bible. You know, they don't have Gideon Bibles in a lot of hotels anymore. Our world's getting so just against truth. So that's, that's awesome you said that.

[00:41:19] David Pasqualone: So I guess between your birth and today, Randy, have we missed anything in your story that you want to talk about or any important truths that you've learned through this before we transition to where's Randy today and where are you heading next? 

[00:41:33] Randy Adkins Jr: I would say that's probably some of the more prominent pieces of the story and of the journey that I would love to share.

[00:41:42] Randy Adkins Jr: Of course one of the things I just want to leave with everyone is that sometimes things are are continuously masked in either failure or pain or grief. And in those moments, it will hurt. I'm not going to tell anyone that it's going to just be easy, but over time, and it happens to all of us, but No matter how good you feel you've done in this world, it's not based on your merit.

[00:42:11] Randy Adkins Jr: It's not based on your performance. It's going to be how you are now able to adjust and navigate and trust in the process that you're in. And remember that your journey is unique. And as you had stated earlier, David, that all things work together. They do. And they work together for the good of them that love God and are called according to his purpose.

[00:42:36] David Pasqualone: Beautiful. So where are you today, Randy? We kind of heard a little bit, but where are you today? Where are you heading next? How can our listeners reach out and connect with you? 

[00:42:45] Randy Adkins Jr: Yeah, today I have a published book that is Produce On Purpose, Experience Life, Being the Real You. In that book, I discuss and talk about how we should really allow our purpose to be our guide.

[00:43:01] Randy Adkins Jr: Our purpose should be what should drive us to produce in this world. Thank you. I ask a question in the beginning of the book of you know, are you ready to be a producer? And it is the idea that we have a movie of our lives and that each of our lives are, or is this movie being created? But most of us have chosen to be actors in that movie.

[00:43:22] Randy Adkins Jr: And one thing I have found that I look on the big billboards, you might look at the Oscars. The actors and actresses, they do get a lot of fame and they get a lot of you know, publicity. However, the actor and actress in the movie, they're working on someone else's script. No matter what you think about, how you're thinking, they are acting.

[00:43:41] Randy Adkins Jr: And the reason you see the mask on my book, is that sometimes we've all become good at wearing masks in our movie. The mask comes from when the Greeks used to act, they would put a mask on and that mask would show that they were acting. Sometimes our masks are invisible. They're emotional. There are things that we're sharing and passing on, and we're showing up the way we think others want us to show up.

[00:44:08] Randy Adkins Jr: And I'm encouraging everyone not to just be actors and actresses in their movie. But I want you, you say, well, maybe I'll be the director. You can be the director, but however, and you know, you could pan in and show different, different views, but even the director works for someone and that's the producer, the producer has put together the scripts, the resources, and they walk that particular script, your movie, your life.

[00:44:34] Randy Adkins Jr: If you become the producer of your movie and your life, then you're going to build it based on your purpose. You're going to build it based on what God manufactured you to be. And my encouragement through that book is that. And the same thing with the Produce On Purpose podcast. I've been podcasting for now two years.

[00:44:51] Randy Adkins Jr: And the, initially I started off as a solo podcast, audio only. And now I've been podcasting with video [00:45:00] as well as bringing on guests and that's been fantastic being able to share a message of hope that joy, that love, that excitement that is there currently. I continue to of course share and pass on through sermons.

[00:45:14] Randy Adkins Jr: You can find me at www. randyadkinsjr. com and there you'll find all types of information to be able to live this life in a greater way. And with excitement and be able to impact and inspire others how to live this life and how to really connect with the source, connect with God who is love and be able to share that love in this world in a greater way.

[00:45:40] Randy Adkins Jr: So David, that's a little bit about what I'm, I'm doing. And now I'll continue to do that and continue to share that along the way. And it's been, it's been a great conversation. 

[00:45:51] David Pasqualone: No, I, I'm thankful you're here today and our listeners are too. So we went through your life, you shared a lot of truths, you shared a lot of great points about the Bible, got a lot of practical information.

[00:46:03] David Pasqualone: Our listeners know where they can reach you but for the people out there who don't have peace or joy right now and they're struggling and they're hurting, maybe they don't even they like, I have a great life, but I am miserable inside. How often? That happens all the time. People have everything in the world that the world can offer, but they know inside they're still empty.

[00:46:26] David Pasqualone: For the listeners who are here today, Randy, and they're like, and I'm not against God, but I just never believed in, and you know, what's it going to do for me? Why should I believe? Where do I start? You know, people say Christianity brings you joy, but I see people and they're the most miserable people on the planet who say they're Christians.

[00:46:47] David Pasqualone: What do you say to that? Nothing like a loaded couple questions there, right? 

[00:46:52] Randy Adkins Jr: I'm going to go back to the imagination and the thought life. Our thought life really does Change our world and how we see it. In fact, that's what I know Jesus was sharing and, and talking about as he was here. He was just trying to get us to get our thought life right to think on the right things.

[00:47:14] Randy Adkins Jr: I'm just reminded of Paul's writing in Philippians, the fourth chapter. He actually says, think on these particular things things that are noble, things that are pure, things that are just. And when we begin to think on those things, then it says the peace of God that be, that will be there beyond the understanding of man, you know, We are limited in what we can understand and what are our limitations?

[00:47:41] Randy Adkins Jr: Our limitations are what we grew up in experience and maybe what we have in education. So, you know you're limited, that we don't know everything, and so in that, Peace right there, that there is no way you're going to understand that there can be peace in the midst of chaos. There can be peace in the midst of a storm.

[00:48:03] Randy Adkins Jr: And when we, specifically, the key portion of that is to think on these things. And I encourage everyone to understand that it starts with your thought life. You don't have to say, Hey, I, I, I'm going to just go all out. I'm going to, you know, accept and put God in. Start off by just changing the way you think, and changing the way you think about situations, and be intentional about that.

[00:48:28] Randy Adkins Jr: And then you will be guided closer to that love that God has provided to us that's unconditional. It's not based on your performance. It's not based on how you work. It's not based on what you have, the results you have in your life. It's not based on your outcome. Start thinking differently. 2nd Corinthians the 10th chapter tells us in there that any thought That is not against, that is against God, that we can take that thought and we can put it under the obedience of Christ.

[00:48:55] Randy Adkins Jr: What does that mean? That you have the power, you have the authority, you have the ability to, whether or not you are going to entertain those thoughts in your head. And if the thought is not serving you, I encourage you to not entertain it. I encourage you to entertain the thoughts that are thoughts that are going to continue to be blessings to you, the ones that make you feel better, the ones that will make those that are around you feel better, accepted, loved, cared about, and excited about this life, understanding that there are always possibilities.

[00:49:30] Randy Adkins Jr: And you always have a choice. I, I heard once that it's not so much that there's a, a heaven and there's a hell. It's our choice in the beginning. So we get our choice. And if you choose that you want to be with God, then that's your choice. If you choose to not be, that's your choice. And so whether it's now or it's after you're no longer here, It's still going to be the same choice.

[00:49:59] Randy Adkins Jr: [00:50:00] And God doesn't look upon things that are not of Him. And so when we are blessed and looking at that and looking at, let's just start with small things like changing our thoughts, focused on the things that are positive, focused on the things that will help us move in that direction, then we'll grow closer to Him.

[00:50:19] David Pasqualone: Yeah, and when we started talking, the first thing you said that you're guaranteeing our listeners was about peace and joy and having that fulfillment in life. And then when you're talking about the thinking, you know, like everybody, people can manipulate anything. Say whatever they want it to say when it's taken out of context, you know, like 98.

[00:50:41] David Pasqualone: 725 percent of statistics are made up, right? It's like people just make crap up and they manipulate even scripture. But the concept in Old Testament knew about the importance of the Attitude and the gratitude and the thinking is there. I'm not saying, oh, I wish I'm gonna have a yacht with 25 staff. That, that's not necessarily God's will, that's your will, and it doesn't amount to anything in the grand scheme of eternity.

[00:51:08] David Pasqualone: So if you don't get it, that's why, right? But you reminded me of Philippians 4, and that talks about Everything we discussed today, it talks about joy and moderation and it talks about thanksgiving and it talks about peace and the joy, but it says, finally brethren, like how the whole passage is summed up.

[00:51:31] David Pasqualone: It says, finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of a good report, if there be any virtue, if there be any praise, think on these things. Yes. So, ladies and gentlemen, Randy's not making crap up, he's speaking truth from the Bible, and it is powerful, and it worked in his life, it's worked in my life, it'll work in your life.

[00:51:59] David Pasqualone: Not because we're special, because God specially loves you, and he gives us the free will Randy was speaking with us about. Yes. So, Randy, On that subject, on any subject, anything else you want to discuss before we wrap up this episode for today? 

[00:52:13] Randy Adkins Jr: I'll, I'll say it like this. I, I always give this this analogy is thermometers are really good at telling us the temperature outside.

[00:52:23] Randy Adkins Jr: And sometimes what we find is that we're thermometers in our life. We can tell about how bad our problems are. You can tell about how many issues you have. You can really tell about how much money you have in your bank account and how much is, it's just not enough. You are great at being a thermometer, but my encouragement is that since you have free will, that you become that thermostat.

[00:52:49] Randy Adkins Jr: You know what I like about thermostats? They change the temperature. Anywhere they go, they can change it. And I am letting you know you have a choice to change the temperature of your life. Any room that you walk into, you can be the thermostat and not the thermometer. I encourage you to be the one that is working from the inside out and not the outside in.

[00:53:11] Randy Adkins Jr: The thermostat works from the inside out. The thermometer is that outside in, if you take on the temperature that the thermo thermometer tells you, be the thermostat. And when you're the thermostat, you can change your life and you will change the life of those that are around you. Because remember. As a thermostat, you change the temperature in the entire room.

[00:53:33] Randy Adkins Jr: Amen. 

[00:53:34] David Pasqualone: And ladies and gentlemen, like our slogan says, don't just listen to this great content Randy shared with us today, but do it. Repeat the good each day. So you can have a great life in this world, but more importantly, in a eternity to come. So this was our friend, Randy Adkins, Jr. Randy, thank you again for being here today, my friend.

[00:53:58] David Pasqualone: Thanks, David. I really enjoyed it. Ladies and gentlemen, reach out to Randy, check out his book, check out his podcast, check out his website. If you have any questions, send him an email, give him a call, reach out to me, and please share this episode with your friends and family if it's been encouraging to you.

[00:54:19] David Pasqualone: Hopefully it'll be encouraging to them. My goal, Randy's goal, we're not trying to get famous. We're not trying to get wealthier. What we're trying to do is touch people with God's love, how we've been touched, and hopefully even more. So share this across the world. We love you, and we'll see you in the next episode. Ciao. Thanks again, Randy. Thank you. 

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