Melissa Moyer Pusch | Parenting an Addict, Burying Your Child, & Finding Hope

“The way that I made a change in my life is by being the change.” ~ Melissa Moyer Pusch

Guest Bio: Jamie’s Mom’s House Founder, Melissa Moyer Pusch, is the leader for Jamie’s Mom’s House Pensacola Chapter. After loosing her son to fentanyl overdose in 2016, Melissa works around the clock networking and spreading awareness about the opioid crisis in America. Joined by a group of dedicated volunteers who are committed to being Somebody’s Somebody, Jamie’s Mom’s House continues to impact lives everywhere they go.

SHOW NOTES: 

• Website(s): https://www.centre4excellence.org
• Facebook Group;Jamie’s mom’s house
• YouTube: Mondays With Melissa
• FrankSpeech URL: 

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CORE THEMES, KEYWORDS, & MENTIONS:

• Hope, single parent, single mom, church, raised in church, Bible believing family, Bible college, father figure, taking pills, the cool parent, hands on parenting, MySpace, opioid crisis, big pharma, fentanyl overdose, heroine, addict, drug court, halfway houses, getting drugs in jail, abandonment issues, absent father, addicts, identity theft, stage 4 cancer survivor, burying your son, burying your child, Jamie’s Mom’s House, Jesus, loss of hope, suicidal, alcoholism, Center for Excellence, trauma retreats, sexual abuse, prison trauma, shame, sex trafficking, AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, dealing with loss

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Transcript

Melissa Moyer Pusch | Parenting an Addict, Burying Your Child, & Finding Hope

[00:00:00] David Pasqualone: Hello friends, welcome to this week's episode of the Remarkable People Podcast, the Melissa Moyer Pusch story. This week we talk about the fentanyl crisis, not just in America, but around the world. We talk about the trauma that children face that make them addicts. We talk about the difficulties of when you're an addict and getting stuck in that loop.

[00:00:25] David Pasqualone: We talk about it from the child's perspective and also the parent's perspective. We talk about, with Melissa, how she parented a child that was an addict. You know, going to jail, getting clean, getting dirty, getting clean, getting dirty. Going back and forth in this vicious cycle and how. Ultimately, not only did he have an overdose, but he had multiple overdoses and then finally died.

[00:00:55] David Pasqualone: So we are going to talk about some very sensitive topics that at any point if they don't already could apply to you and I. So we talk about hope, we talk about recovery, we talk about how as a parent Melissa got suicidal, how she was depressed, she became an alcoholic from it for a while, and then how God changed her life and broke free.

[00:01:18] David Pasqualone: So whether you're a Christian or whether you're not, gravity still pulls at 9. 82 meters per second squared. And whether you're a Christian or not, love is love and truth is truth. And we will talk about the Bible and we will talk about God, but that is what's going to help you heal. And even if you're not ready for that, Listen to the practical steps of what Melissa talks about in each category, in each situation of how you can heal, how you can help your children, how you can help family who is suffering, or how you can recover after the loss of a child.

[00:01:52] David Pasqualone: So, I'm David Pasqualone. This is our friend, Melissa Moyer Pusch. Enjoy this episode of the podcast now. 

Warning. The interview you're about to experience has already positively changed people's lives. If applied appropriately, it can change yours, too. The views expressed are those of the guest and host. The content of this podcast is not meant to be legal, financial, or medical advice. . This episode may contain graphic details of the guest's life. Listener discretion is advised. 

[00:02:22] David Pasqualone: Hey, Melissa, how are you today? I'm great. How are you? Man, I'm remarkable. I was just telling our listeners a little bit about your story and what to expect, but straight from you, the source. If our listeners around the world stick with you for this next half an hour, hour, hour and a half, whatever it ends up being, What do you guarantee that they're going to personally walk away with to better their lives?

[00:02:49] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I believe that hope would be the answer to that, that there's hope beyond the one thing that you think that you can't recover from. 

[00:03:00] David Pasqualone: Amen. So no matter what country you're from, whatever culture you're from, no matter how old you are, Whatever gender you are, male or female, hope is what Melissa and I are going to talk about today.

[00:03:12] David Pasqualone: And you're going to hear her and her story of why this became so important to her right after this quick commercial break. 

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[00:04:19] David Pasqualone: Welcome back to the show, ladies and gentlemen. And Melissa, again, thank you for being here today. So hope, hope is a central topic. Hope is the essential. If we don't have hope, you know, it says in the Bible how when we don't have that hope, it's like rottenness to our bones. So, talk about your story.

[00:04:38] David Pasqualone: Basically, you can talk about you from your childhood and birth up through today wherever you want to go with it. But give us a little background on Melissa and how you came to be who you are today. 

[00:04:49] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Okay, well I usually start my story Somewhere towards the end or maybe the middle, which you know, I was a single parent made, [00:05:00] made a lot of mistakes along the way as most parents do.

[00:05:03] Melissa Moyer Pusch: But my children were brought up in a home where there was a lot of love and I brought them up in the church. And I just want to preface that I come from a Bible believing family almost all of us have either attended Bible college or are graduates. And that goes for my son, James as well.

[00:05:24] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Now as my children got older. Older and they were in middle school, high school. There were some rocky times and there was a rocky times with myself as well. You know, again, not without fault at that point, I was working a few jobs. And because I was a single parent and that was due to choice. And that's something in our generation, actually, that has been missing is the father figure in the house.

[00:05:55] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And if I can say that and, and stress that importance, how important that a godly man in the household is to a family and to have that covering in your life. And, you know, that was, that's part of. Why these things have happened in our generation. And when I say these things I'm going to start out with I believe that my son was 14 years old when he first started taking pills and that first experience.

[00:06:29] Melissa Moyer Pusch: was not with someone that you would think that it would be. It wasn't with his peers or it was actually given freely at parties at that point in the nineties, early thousands by parents. Parents that were trying to be the cool parents, parents that were like party's going to be at my house and I'll supply alcohol and, and all the things.

[00:06:55] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And I was not that cool parent. I was not doing that. And I was actually the parent that would go banging on the doors and getting my children to come home. And I feel like we took a spiral from that time where again, maybe some of the single parents out there were just trying to keep their kids at home and they thought, well, if I have the kids over to party at our house, and it really became an epidemic.

[00:07:23] David Pasqualone: Yeah. And you should be the one beating, they all the parents should be the ones beating down the door, not trying to be a cool parent. 

[00:07:30] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Absolutely. 

[00:07:31] David Pasqualone: During all this, Melissa, Did you ever confront those parents back then, or did you find out later that they were giving your son drugs? 

[00:07:41] Melissa Moyer Pusch: No, I did confront the parents back then. I have been very hands on when it came to this whole problem. That was back when I, I would say MySpace was a big deal and these parents would actually be posting things on MySpace on when the parties were gonna be, there was pictures of them playing beer pong with the kids and such, and they kind of gave themselves away, right?

[00:08:09] Melissa Moyer Pusch: So I knew what was going on and I would go and take care of that. In fact, in the, in the small town that we lived in year, years later, the woman who was having some of these parties was arrested. She was a cheerleading coach. And she was getting all the children to come to her house and she was there.

[00:08:34] Melissa Moyer Pusch: It was actually like a sex and drug ring. She would send the, the boys out and go and rob houses in the area. And this was a pretty affluent area. This was Chester County, Pennsylvania. And but she was, she was turned in at that point. But by that time, like, how many of them got addicted? You know, I wasn't, I wasn't the only one that lost my son due to, due to the opioid crisis in that crowd.

[00:09:07] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I believe that there is only two or three still left in that crowd of boys that were, that had graduated from that area. And that's very sad. That is so sad. You know I have an online Facebook that one of the guys, my son's best friend actually posted a picture in there of him looking down in a puddle and the rest of the guys weren't there.

[00:09:33] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Like the reflections weren't there. And you know, that's heartbreaking, you know, and what did they know? What did they know? They I really feel that they were targeted. And, you know, and as much as we know now about the big pharma and. You know there, there hadn't even been an instance quite honestly.

[00:09:54] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And that was a few years later that a nurse came to my house. With a check [00:10:00] that my son signed that or didn't sign and it was it was my check and she asked me to sign the check and said that my son had paid her with this check. Well, not only was she trying to get me to sign a check for the drugs that she sold my son, but she was wearing my coat.

[00:10:18] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And I was like, I know that you're a nurse. I'll have your nursing license. It had grown so huge in that area at that time. So, you know, sometimes when I go back and I think of, of some of these things, I'm like, this has been going on for so long. My son died of an overdose, a fentanyl overdose.

[00:10:46] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Because it had led to now you can't get those pills anymore for anything less than 40 or maybe 60 and then it became a heroin crisis. And who would, nobody ever sets out in life to be like, I'm, I'm going to be an addict or I'm going to be the mother of an addict. And there's so many of us, there's so many that this same thing was happening in all of our homes.

[00:11:23] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And we would brush it under the carpet, you know he he didn't just overdose one time, he had overdosed several times during this and one of them, and this is something that is really on my heart because Again, trying to keep it to myself. I was, I was managing beauty salons at that time.

[00:11:44] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And I was many miles away from the Philadelphia area, which anybody that knows, The, the drug epidemic, Kensington, Philadelphia is very bad. I did not realize that back in, say 2014. And I get a phone call from a hospital that, thank God that they investigated his phone because I wasn't listed in his phone as mom.

[00:12:14] Melissa Moyer Pusch: They went back in the messages. My son always called me Looch, Mama Loochie, right? And they investigated that and, Realize that I was the mom. So when I went there you know, he didn't have any ID on him. Like he was a John Doe brought in there. He'd overdosed under the L train and was brought in and all of these tubes and such.

[00:12:39] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And I, at that point, I I called my dad and he came into town. And my dad was in Canada at that point and I had kept the hope and I even had told the nurses and doctors, please don't speak in front of him. And they were like, there, there's not much hope here. There's and it was like the day that that they came in and they were like we're going to pull the plug on, on him tomorrow.

[00:13:06] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And I said, please don't do that. You know, I laid hands on my son. And a tear came out of his eye. And when he, when he took, he took his own trach out and said, I'm thirsty. That's the power of God. That's the power of God and the power of a praying parent and praying grandparents. But that's, that wasn't enough to turn around the situation because he got right back into that because it is a vicious cycle.

[00:13:50] Melissa Moyer Pusch: You know if there's one thing that I want to say is, you know, our system doesn't work the way that it, it should, or maybe the way it was designed, or maybe there, there definitely needs to be something put in place without so many hiccups. Take the family component out of anything because the devil hates family, right?

[00:14:12] Melissa Moyer Pusch: So once you take that out and now you're just counseling the addict and you Pusch the family to the side, even down to the rehabs did that. And then he would leave rehab and then. Matter of a couple of weeks, get another dirty urine. He'd be off to the races. It would be another sit in jail, maybe to a rehab later, to then to a halfway house where you'd be forced to do drug court, but drug court and the halfway houses were located right in the den.

[00:14:50] Melissa Moyer Pusch: of where the drug dealers were. So how was it like that's designed for failure? And at that point [00:15:00] and this point as well, we are not, what we're doing is criminalizing instead of treating that disease or disorder or mental illness. We're putting everybody into the jails together. And we all know that they can still get drugs in jail.

[00:15:19] Melissa Moyer Pusch: So my thoughts, of course, now are some of these facilities that have been shut down. Why not? The next time that these addicts go before a judge, they say, Well, instead of sending them over here, we're going to court order a year at this old jail with mental health and drug addiction programs for them and not send them in with the general population because that's not treating, that's not rehabilitation.

[00:16:01] Melissa Moyer Pusch: That's my, that's my thought. 

[00:16:04] David Pasqualone: No, no, I, there's so many variables and there's so many just different situations, but the foundations are usually the same. And there's core, like every man, man, not man, like male, but every man, every human has a hole in their heart and a need for God, that relationship. And when we don't have it, if, if someone hasn't trusted Christ yet as their even people who have, when they're not.

[00:16:30] David Pasqualone: in a good relationship with him. They're always looking to fill that hole 

[00:16:34] Melissa Moyer Pusch: with 

[00:16:35] David Pasqualone: drugs, pornography, food, over exercising, under exercising. 

[00:16:41] Melissa Moyer Pusch: That's the truth, yeah. Yeah, 

[00:16:42] David Pasqualone: it doesn't matter what it is. 

[00:16:43] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Right. 

[00:16:44] David Pasqualone: But when you're talking about your son, you can't answer this. You don't have to answer this. I'm not insinuating anything.

[00:16:49] David Pasqualone: I'm trying to be delicate because this is, thank you for being so transparent and real. But some kids and people, we just get involved in drugs because it's the circle we run with, and then some people get hooked, right? Some people are more prone to alcohol, some people are more prone to porn, some people are more prone to drugs.

[00:17:09] David Pasqualone: So did he just get in and it was a fun game and then it hooked him? Or a lot of times, probably the majority of people, they have trauma. Yes, that's exactly 

[00:17:20] Melissa Moyer Pusch: it. 

[00:17:21] David Pasqualone: So what happened to your son? If you don't, cause I don't want you just to share for no reason, but if you share what happened with your son, there's people listening that this might've happened to them and it can stop before it gets worse.

[00:17:31] David Pasqualone: Or parents who are listening, like I need to help my child and maybe this is the way how. So was your son raped? Was his dad, like, did he abandon him? Like what was the situation? 

[00:17:41] Melissa Moyer Pusch: He definitely had abandonment issues. His father was absentee and that was up until the year that my son passed his father came back on the scene.

[00:17:57] Melissa Moyer Pusch: His father is still an addict. I did not know that, you know, he talked a really good game and sometimes people do hide behind religion as well. And so so I'll rewind to what had happened during that time. And so his father had been living in Florida. And during this time James was just going to be released from jail and I had just gotten news that my father had stage four cancer and we kept that quiet.

[00:18:37] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And I definitely kept that away from my son because whoever does know addiction knows that if you give them a reason to use, they're going to use. So if it's a good thing, yay, I'm going to go out and party. If it's a bad thing, I, I, I've got to go numb this, right? So it was always a fight or flight in my relationship with James.

[00:19:04] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And so I get this phone call from his dad who says that he is going to be moving up to the Pennsylvania area. In the meanwhile, I get a phone call from my mom who says, I have bad news. I want you to go and get your passport and I need you to come to Canada. And at that point I had a business and I shut that down.

[00:19:29] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Me and my husband, Move to Buffalo. We allowed James's father to take over the lease in our apartment and they were living together. And the one thing that that I should also make mention, which I feel is so important. You let these parents that that talk bad about the other parent. And I never said anything bad about his his dad.

[00:19:55] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I figured one day he would find out. Unfortunately, he [00:20:00] did find out and you know, he called me one day when I was in Buffalo and he was like, I hate him. I can't believe, you know, he stole from me. He stole my identity. He went and purchased all these things on my credit and, and he was so hurt and and he, and he, and they got into a fight.

[00:20:24] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And I said, he said, I'm, I'm, I think I should just come up there. And I said, James, you know, I think you got to work this out. I think you got to hug it out. You have the same heartbeat, work this out for yourself because you'll not forgive yourself if you don't. And while I was up there in Buffalo and visiting with my dad, it was really sick and I, I remember when it was the holidays and I was talking to my son on the phone and I remember.

[00:20:56] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Handing the phone to my dad and saying, just tell him, tell him, tell him what he's doing. And my dad looked so sick. And he said, don't you think he knows? Don't you think he already knows what he's doing is wrong? Like, why beat him up anymore? And that stuck with me. It really did. People out there don't need to know.

[00:21:19] Melissa Moyer Pusch: They already know when they're doing something wrong. They need the hope that it can turn around. So while I was up there I feel like I, Sometimes I feel like I sacrificed my son by letting him, and that was something that I, I really had to, to work through on my, my own end, you know, cause there was many years of beating myself up and would have, could have, should have, and, and but I lost, that was Christmas and then I lost my son in February.

[00:21:52] David Pasqualone: I'm sorry. And just to clarify, I thought you said you went up cause your mom was sick. No, 

[00:21:57] Melissa Moyer Pusch: my mom, it was my dad. Yeah. And you know, my, my dad, my dad is a cancer survivor now. I mean, the Lord really took him through it and turned his life around. And he's still, he, he serves the Lord so hardcore for someone in his seventies that battled stage four cancer.

[00:22:22] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I couldn't be any more proud of him. 

[00:22:25] David Pasqualone: Awesome. Awesome. Yeah. I just wanted to clarify that. I thought I heard you said your mom was sick. Then you said your dad. I just want to make sure we had that right. So your dad was sick and he, you're like explaining to him what's going on with your son and his father.

[00:22:37] David Pasqualone: And he's like, he knows just basically love on him. Yeah. 

[00:22:41] Melissa Moyer Pusch: That's it. And you know he often Brings up a story about when James lived up there and he was going to university in Canada and he got done with a class at Bible college and it was about healing wounds and. James came into the door and he was like, how was your day, James?

[00:23:05] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And he said, pop, it's not good. I'm, I'm, I'm upset. You know, we got to the father and the wounds from father and I don't even have a dad and he stomped upstairs and. And he turned back around and he said, you know, Pop, I'm so sorry. You were my dad all this time.

[00:23:30] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I mean, he had such a special bond. I'm sorry. 

[00:23:35] David Pasqualone: No, there's nothing to be sorry about. That's, that's real honest emotion. That's something you should be emotional about. 

[00:23:42] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yeah. You know,

[00:23:48] Melissa Moyer Pusch: so we, we had, we went down to When we, when we got the news, we went to Pennsylvania because the police officers came to my daughter's house and my daughter just knew and wouldn't answer the door. She knew cause she had seen James the day before. And and he wanted to spend the night at her house, knew that he had been partying, wanted to bring his, she called him a crackhead friend with him.

[00:24:16] Melissa Moyer Pusch: She was like, no, James, you can't stay at my house. And it's something that she deals with now. Yeah, if I 

[00:24:24] David Pasqualone: let him stay, would he have not died? And that's not, that's not, 

[00:24:28] Melissa Moyer Pusch: or would he have died in my house with my daughter there as well? 

[00:24:32] David Pasqualone: Yeah. And the what ifs can eat your lunch. It's not 

[00:24:35] Melissa Moyer Pusch: good. It really, he 

[00:24:36] David Pasqualone: made the decisions.

[00:24:37] David Pasqualone: Your daughter was just a loving sister. 

[00:24:40] Melissa Moyer Pusch: That's right. So then when we had, The funeral, the hardest day of my life. I couldn't, I can't even tell you some of the things that happened because you're not really there. James was my person. He was my absolute [00:25:00] everything. I was his biggest cheerleader and he was mine.

[00:25:03] Melissa Moyer Pusch: He was a star athlete. He was a Bible college graduate and he was super smart. You know, when I had to clean his, His room out, I came upon all of these apps designed for iPhone and some of these games that he designed. I mean, he was just, he was brilliant and he had so much to offer and so much love in his heart because it didn't matter how low he was.

[00:25:33] Melissa Moyer Pusch: He's going to help somebody else. And that's basically the foundation of Jamie's mom's house now. So I went years. So people, what people don't think about is after the funeral that nobody calls that me and my husband went back home to Buffalo and I was carrying my son's ashes on my lap in a box. And

[00:26:02] Melissa Moyer Pusch: there was nobody I had to go back to work. You know, people would check in periodically and, but it was literally me and my husband for four years. Just, and he, I can never thank God enough for my husband, again, my rock and my somebody in life. I would have never made it through. I love the Lord with all of my heart, and I'm grateful for so much, but I went down such a slope.

[00:26:42] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I didn't want to live anymore, David. I didn't want to live. And I had Jesus, so tell me what the rest of the world that doesn't, that loses somebody, goes through. Because I wanted to kill myself. One day, I, you know, one night, I, I'm screaming in my husband's face and I said, if you really love me, you will smother me in my sleep.

[00:27:06] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Like, it was so, it was so, such a horrible, hard time, you know and I ended up with a drinking problem of my own. I just, I would walk into traffic and not care because I didn't care anymore. You know, I, I, and then honest one day, and this was like 2020, right as COVID happened. We were in this shutdown.

[00:27:37] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I woke up and I was like, I'm not going to live like this anymore. I'm not going to be this person. I'm going to do something. I'm going to do something to help other people. I'm going to be what I needed after this. I'm going to help families of people that lost loved ones to addiction. I'm going to bring awareness to the opioid crisis.

[00:28:00] Melissa Moyer Pusch: You have to figure that James died in 2016 and it's 2024 and we still have a fentanyl crisis. He was one of the first, we didn't even know what fentanyl was. We got the death certificate, we didn't even know. But I knew, I didn't know how about to go about it, but I knew that people, other people were suffering as well.

[00:28:25] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And I was. Literally going to, to help in this, to aid and to, you know, because again, at that point, that's 2020, people were still not talking about addiction. It was still a stigma. And I feel like it was not just a stigma in America or other countries, but in the church, it was unheard of. You just didn't talk about things like that in certain social groups.

[00:29:02] Melissa Moyer Pusch: You didn't talk about things like that. Again, it was happening, but nobody was talking. Then I remember after I started Jamie's Mom's House Facebook group, that it might have been six months. I would post every day. I would post inspiring things. I would ask questions. I invited people to come in and finally after maybe six or eight months, somebody talked back to me and then it grew and grew and.

[00:29:44] Melissa Moyer Pusch: People text me all days, all times of the night, because I diligently did that. Because again, where you see a need is where you get in. [00:30:00] Our communities, our families are in need. And during that whole time, we were all segregated during COVID. So it was even harder. And addiction ran rampant. Domestic violence ran rampant during that time.

[00:30:18] Melissa Moyer Pusch: All, all of the things. And then we actually so I'm with the Center for Excellence. And I have a group called Jamie's Mom's House and we bring hope and healing to the families of the loved ones that were lost to addiction. We bring awareness to the opioid crisis and the fentanyl crisis. We do a series that is plaguing, plaguing our cities.

[00:30:48] Melissa Moyer Pusch: We, we do that through billboards and rallies and walks and motorcycle rides. We're a one on one group not just online, but I'll meet you anywhere for coffee. I've got some great leaders. And I've got a wonderful director at the Center for Excellence, Katie Barker. We do We do the Be Somebody Somebody's videos.

[00:31:10] Melissa Moyer Pusch: We show up for people that we don't know and help fund funerals for people that did not expect to lose their loved ones. We've had trauma. We've had our first trauma retreat that was just awesome for not just The people left behind, but even some people that were former addicts, because of the trauma that they went through.

[00:31:41] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And, and I do, I dedicate everything that I do to James because I know that James had hidden traumas. And so back to that, the trauma was not just being left by his father. Some of the things that were never talked about. Are some of the sexual abuse and of course, some of the things that were done in prison, prison causes more trauma.

[00:32:08] Melissa Moyer Pusch: What, you know, what has happened? What, what was some of his shame? I won't know till I get there. Maybe I'll never know. But I know that it was intense.

[00:32:23] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And I know how to encourage parents to not beat themselves up for four years, to let go of some of those old ideas, to not try to figure everything out. Not everything can be figured out, right? 

[00:32:46] David Pasqualone: 100%. So. So, I want to make sure that we cover some specific topics and questions regarding this because it's so important.

[00:33:03] David Pasqualone: And let's go back to the basics a little bit because the fentanyl crisis isn't just in America. It's 

[00:33:09] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Now, 

[00:33:09] David Pasqualone: but we are in America from predominant audiences in America. So those are the statistics that I'm familiar with, but quickly, why would drug manufacturers add fentanyl? And you can explain quickly what is fentanyl in a nutshell, 

[00:33:30] Melissa Moyer Pusch: right?

[00:33:31] David Pasqualone: And what percentage of people buying drugs are getting laced right now in 2024? Average, rough. 

[00:33:41] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Well, I can tell you that I live in Escambia County and Pensacola, 

[00:33:47] David Pasqualone: Florida, Pensacola, Florida area, Escambia County, just for those around the country. 

[00:33:51] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yes. And we are a small population, but we lead Florida in the most Overdose deaths and the highest amount of fentanyl.

[00:34:05] David Pasqualone: I did not know that. I knew we were very high in sex trafficking for years, for 40 years. 

[00:34:11] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And those two things go hand in 

[00:34:14] David Pasqualone: hand. Yeah. 

[00:34:15] Melissa Moyer Pusch: So that's, that's also another program that we offer there at the Center for Excellence that's head up by Katie Barker. Because, and we work together with that because chances are, if you're being trafficked, It's usually because you're addicted or vice versa.

[00:34:35] David Pasqualone: Yeah. And they get, I know people who have been trafficked and they were put on drugs. Right. They, they didn't even take drugs before, but they load them, load them, load them on drugs. So they become dependent. 

[00:34:45] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yes. 

[00:34:46] David Pasqualone: It's a control mechanism. Okay. So describe quickly, cause some people don't know. They listen to our podcasts every week.

[00:34:52] David Pasqualone: We have a range of topics, but fentanyl, what is fentanyl? 

[00:34:56] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Fentanyl is a [00:35:00] highly potent. Opioid. And from my understanding about fentanyl when they first started using it, it was for epidurals. How it's on the street is highly due to pharmaceuticals drug traffickers. Some people are manufacturing their own fentanyl and that's scary.

[00:35:23] Melissa Moyer Pusch: But it only takes The size of a grain of salt for someone to overdose and what I found out, because I do work with other organizations here such as Offensive, they're also in the opioid crisis with us and the fight against all things, but they deal with more homeless people and. What they have found and what we have been hearing is that people are going into homeless camps, drug dealers are going into homeless camps, and they are they're using them as Guinea Pigs.

[00:36:07] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Like, what didn't kill them, right? Well, then that's the right amount. Because, fentanyl is so highly addictive. And that's what they were, they were counting on. That's what the pharmaceuticals were counting on. That's what drug dealers, I'm gonna get them hooked. I was just speaking to someone that is in Jamie's mom's house the other, the other evening.

[00:36:31] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And, She said her son is addicted to fentanyl in meth, and that is huge here in Escambia County, Pensacola, Florida, because that's what they're doing. They're going to get you addicted. 

[00:36:53] David Pasqualone: And if, just to summarize for the people not in this world, you could be in this world tomorrow and you don't even know it is, it happens hard, fast, somebody you love, even yourself.

[00:37:04] David Pasqualone: But obviously if we never try the first sip, you can't become an alcoholic. But at the same time, you can be prescribed medicine from a doctor and get hooked. Big Pharma is not much better than the street dealer to me. They're just in bed with the government. Yeah, so, but fentanyl is a powerful opioid and it enhances the drug experience.

[00:37:25] David Pasqualone: But if you give, like, like Melissa was saying, a grain of sand amount, if you give just a little bit too much, it'll kill you. 

[00:37:31] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yeah. 

[00:37:32] David Pasqualone: It'll kill a horse. 

[00:37:33] Melissa Moyer Pusch: So, 

[00:37:35] David Pasqualone: these aren't, you know, regulated things. And with the borders opened up, it's flooding into our nation. So part of our, Federal government's role in national defense is not just guns and stopping war, but it's also stopping drugs coming and killing our people.

[00:37:53] David Pasqualone: That's another form of terrorism, sex trafficking. 

[00:37:57] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And 

[00:37:57] David Pasqualone: they're absolutely not doing that. And it's, it's, it is criminal. It's unconstitutional. It's criminal. Our streets are flooded with drugs because of the lack of action. And, you know, men lie. Math doesn't. If you follow the money. There's corrupt, evil reasons why nothing's being done, because frankly, they're involved.

[00:38:16] David Pasqualone: So, Melissa, thank you for sharing the story. And I had some more questions for you that are important because you talked about this show people listen, so they not only hear what you achieved or overcame, but we give practical steps of how you did it so they can too. Now you said something that's true, but was there more to it or at least to keep you going?

[00:38:39] David Pasqualone: So you're an alcoholic, you're suicidal. And then one day you wake up with a purpose. Now that can happen, and that's a gift of God. Were there steps you took before that to get to that place? Or once you got there, were there steps to safeguard yourself to stay in that good mental space? Because right now, we have people listening who are hopeless.

[00:38:59] David Pasqualone: They are suicidal. They are on drugs themselves. What advice do you have for them to get clean and stay clean? 

[00:39:07] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Change your location. Change your location, not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. Hope is, is Jesus Christ. I mean, for lack of anything else, that's what I had. That's what I have. And I have a great support system.

[00:39:32] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Thank, and again, I can't thank God enough for my husband every single day. And all the leadership. I have a great church family. That even though that most all of them never, maybe never were affected by. The Opioid Crisis directly. They always [00:40:00] encouraged Jamie's Mom's House. Some of them, you know, cause I always say show up for the walks.

[00:40:08] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Even if you weren't affected by this, if you have children, bring your children. That's who you're walking for. You're walking for our future.

[00:40:23] David Pasqualone: Yeah. And

[00:40:28] David Pasqualone: when you're out there and you're talking to people, like right now there's people listening, like, I don't have anybody. I agree with you. If you can find a good church, a good organization to get involved in. But sadly, there's so many bad ones out there. And so many people, they're hypocrites, right? I love God.

[00:40:44] David Pasqualone: I believe the Bible. I go to church, but it is hard to find a good church these days. It really is. And we live in the Bible Belt. 

[00:40:51] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yeah. 

[00:40:51] David Pasqualone: So you got to find a place where it's real and it's not just, you know, sunshines and rainbows. They're going to be real. They're going to call you when you're not doing something right, but they're also going to encourage you when you're down.

[00:41:04] Melissa Moyer Pusch: But, 

[00:41:04] David Pasqualone: Another good program in the meantime is all over the country, all over the world, there's Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous. That's right. And I personally, I got a degree and I went to like a few weeks of AA and it was a great program. I hear Christians talking trash about it. But it was great content and I'm not seeing everything.

[00:41:24] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Send people there to AA classes. Like we, we do celebrate recovery at some churches. We may send some people there because really the Center for Excellence is a resource center. So somebody comes in there. Again, we don't, we don't deal with the addicts. We deal with the families, right? So if you are looking for a support group, On, I'm on Facebook.

[00:41:51] Melissa Moyer Pusch: If you're looking to talk to somebody, I'm going to answer that phone call all day, every day. That's what I do. This is my passion. My heart is for hope, for the families, for the addicts. I want to see a success story in your family. I want to be a part of all of that, right? But that we do send people to Alcoholics Anonymous.

[00:42:18] Melissa Moyer Pusch: It's a great program. It works. 

[00:42:20] David Pasqualone: Yeah, yeah. And because not everybody's in Escambia County to connect directly with you. Not everybody has a church or has a family. Some people are, they're, they feel alone and they aren't right now. And I want to clarify something. I was just thinking about this this past week because suicide came up in my circle and the meaning like someone you know something happened 

[00:42:44] Melissa Moyer Pusch: yeah 

[00:42:44] David Pasqualone: and i don't mean this offensive 

[00:42:47] Melissa Moyer Pusch: But 

[00:42:47] David Pasqualone: when you're thinking about suicide, you're thinking very short term about yourself and your problems.

[00:42:54] David Pasqualone: And I'm not saying you don't have problems, but it really is a selfish mentality. We can all be there. We can all get there. 

[00:43:02] Melissa Moyer Pusch: But 

[00:43:02] David Pasqualone: when you want to pull yourself out, you have to realize this is short term. It's a suicide's a long term solution for a short term problem. Because how many people do you and I know in all of our listeners that were suicidal, tried to commit suicide?

[00:43:16] David Pasqualone: And then a year later, it's their best life they've ever had. 

[00:43:19] Melissa Moyer Pusch: That's right. And you know, it's not like again, I'm not going to blow smoke either. Life is going to be life. Life is difficult. I'm in a difficult chapter of my life right now, but this is temporary because the next chapter is going to be fabulous.

[00:43:41] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yeah, I know that because I have the hope. I know that. I know what the final outcome is and we win. We win. 

[00:43:50] David Pasqualone: Yeah. Revelation says that. And let me ask you a question. You have two children. You have two children, James and then your daughter. 

[00:43:58] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yes, Corianne. 

[00:43:59] David Pasqualone: Okay, so you have a total of two. 

[00:44:01] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yes. 

[00:44:01] David Pasqualone: Okay. One thing I want to mention too, and you can chime in on this, is statistically, ladies and gentlemen, if you're committing suicide, and you're like, Dave, you're full of crap, I just want to get this over with.

[00:44:13] David Pasqualone: That's a lie for the devil. I'm saying this, and Melissa's saying this, because we love you. But if you have any love in your life, Soul for those around you. Look at the statistics. If you commit suicide, I think it's like a 70 or 80 percent greater chance your children are because they subconsciously or consciously like mom or dad did it.

[00:44:36] David Pasqualone: That's the way out. Even if they hated you for it. They will statistically, so if you're going to commit suicide, you're basically almost like opening the door for your kid too. So keep that in mind. If you don't care about yourself, care about your children and those you love. And I mean that, that's something you really need to consider.

[00:44:53] Melissa Moyer Pusch: That's the truth. 

[00:44:54] David Pasqualone: Yeah. So let's go back now, Melissa. So from your birth, to [00:45:00] today in your life or in your son's life. Is there anything else you want to share that we missed or any final thoughts before we transition into Jamie's house and how people can reach you and you know, what the, what that looks like?

[00:45:17] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Well, you know, I kind of want to go back to when you said about, you know, If you're feeling suicidal. And I want to touch a little bit upon my daughter. My daughter did not just lose James. James and my daughter they had what a connection. They, they, they were like twins, right? They did everything together.

[00:45:41] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And a few years before that, she lost her father to addiction as well. And my first husband was a, an alcoholic. And, And he actually, he died at 34 in a shower, his intestines ruptured. And that was her first time dealing with that. Then she lost James a year after James died, her uncle, who was only two years older than James.

[00:46:11] Melissa Moyer Pusch: He died from a fentanyl overdose. Then the following year, her best friend and my granddaughter's aunt, Kiva, she died from a pressed pill. Think about that. And there are so many families that I talked to that are in the same boat that maybe they didn't lose just one person. You know, maybe they lost both their children or, or their spouse or, or a spouse and a, and a child, or, you know, this is really affecting so many people.

[00:46:48] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And what happens to their mental health after that? You know, I may never be the one to reach my daughter, but I pray every day that somebody is there to be her somebody, right? I may never, you know, because sometimes you listen to your mom or dad and you're like you know, God will put somebody in her life.

[00:47:10] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And they, and he definitely has. 

[00:47:14] David Pasqualone: That's beautiful. So even listeners around the world, if they want to reach out, learn more about Jamie's house, get involved, you know, what's the best way to reach you, Melissa? And how can they, they look into Jamie's house? 

[00:47:30] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Okay. So Jamie's mom's house is a Facebook group online that you can join and I will let you in or one of the administrative or leaders.

[00:47:42] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I also will freely give out my phone number. Of course, once, once you're in there, or if you want to text message me on messenger here, my husband just gave me a card. There, there's all the information that you need. 

[00:47:59] David Pasqualone: Yeah. And we'll listen to the show notes because the, the lion's share of our listeners are Podcast listeners so they don't have visual.

[00:48:06] David Pasqualone: So ladies and gentlemen, we'll put a link in the show notes as always, so you can click you and get ahold of Melissa and Jamie's mom's house. 

[00:48:12] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Thank you. 

[00:48:13] David Pasqualone: And then what's that look like? Like what kind of resources do you have for the parents? 

[00:48:19] Melissa Moyer Pusch: We have so many and, and it, we have so many. Not just here, but in other states as well.

[00:48:27] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And if we don't have them, we've researched them. So like we have people from all over on Jamie's Mom's House. Like we have people from Canada. We have people from Pennsylvania. We have people from I just had somebody joined from Oregon. Like Ohio. We have them from all over. And if we don't have the means, we've researched the means.

[00:48:51] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And but we have a lot of resources lots of rehabilitations that are tried and true. We have great connections with halfway houses. And of course, we also have resources for your own mental health. I always say I'm not a counselor, but I'm a consoler. You know I don't have all the answers.

[00:49:15] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I'm going to stand with you and I'm going to find you the resources that you need and I'm just going to love you. 

[00:49:23] David Pasqualone: Yeah. And that's seriously the greatest God is love and the greatest power is love. And just being with someone is so important. What about parting advice? There's somebody who's struggling with addiction and it's an emptiness in their heart or their trauma They haven't dealt with and you know, the Bible talks about cover to cover Old Testament New Testament We know from common sense, even if you don't believe in God when you keep something hidden, that's right It devours you and bad grows, but when you bring something to the light It's like we'll go ten years afraid to [00:50:00] speak of something and then we speak of it and it's released It's gone forever.

[00:50:05] David Pasqualone: So what kind of advice do you have for the person holding on to trauma and pain and they're an active addict? What advice do you have for them, Melissa? 

[00:50:14] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Talk to someone. I, I do a backpack drive once a year, but I keep the cards in my, in my, in my vehicle. And in every backpack, I put a card in there that says this is in Memory of James Moyer and reach back reach back out at home because somebody at home is waiting for your phone call.

[00:50:44] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Don't believe the lie. Don't believe that your family doesn't want your phone call. Don't believe that when they said, I'm not putting up with this anymore. I'm going to make the change together. It's, it's got to be about unity. It's got to be about the whole picture. Because that's what, that's the only way that's what recovery is.

[00:51:12] Melissa Moyer Pusch: It's got to be recovery for the whole family. Reach back out. It's a lot, right? 

[00:51:19] David Pasqualone: Yeah. Now, what about to the parents watching their child, because you know what, the truth is, you could be the best parent in the world and have a kid who's an addict. You can be the trash piece of crap mom that was sex trafficking and having kids steal and giving them drugs, and her kid turns out clean because she sees.

[00:51:40] David Pasqualone: What a useless piece of trash her mom is, right? Right. But for the parents, for whatever reason, they're dealing with their child, an addict, a repeat addict, going to jail time after time, promising they're going to clean up and they relapse and they don't care and they manipulate and they lie. For that parent who's really discouraged, without hope, what advice do you have for them, Melissa?

[00:52:01] Melissa Moyer Pusch: You can call us anytime. That is exactly what we do. We are here to encourage you and hold your arms up while you're going through that, because Jamie's Mom's House is a place of hope and healing for people that not just lost their loved ones to addiction, but have ones actively in addiction. And I know firsthand how exhausting that that is and how exhausting it is to do it alone.

[00:52:26] Melissa Moyer Pusch: You have to have a good support system and that's what we are. 

[00:52:31] David Pasqualone: Beautiful. And then last question,

[00:52:38] David Pasqualone: You lost your child and you could have not recovered, you know, it's, it's praise the Lord that you just woke up the day and it flicked that switch. 

[00:52:48] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yeah. 

[00:52:49] David Pasqualone: Some people don't. To the parents who lost their child last year, 30 years ago, I know people who, you know, you just, they literally deteriorate. 

[00:53:00] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yes. 

[00:53:01] David Pasqualone: And they're miserable.

[00:53:03] David Pasqualone: What advice do you have for

[00:53:09] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Well, the only thing that I can say, honestly, is that I'm praying for everyone that is going through that, and the way that I made a change in my life is by being the change. So if you lost someone to addiction, get involved. It is so healing because my healing isn't done, right? My healing's not done. I walk out that healing daily.

[00:53:36] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I miss my son so much, so much, but I know that I dedicate everything that I do and that he is smiling. Can you imagine how happy James is when I get a chance to see him and he peeks around that bush and is like, Hey Looch, what took you so long to get here?

[00:54:02] Melissa Moyer Pusch: I'm so glad. I'm so glad that you put in the good fight, right? So we need others to do that. Link arms with us and other organizations. If you're not around here, there's other organizations doing the same thing, honestly. But without that support

[00:54:27] Melissa Moyer Pusch: and the love of Jesus Christ, I would not have been able to get through any of this. 

[00:54:34] David Pasqualone: Yeah, and for our listeners all around the world, we love you. Melissa and I both believe in God. I believe in the God of the Bible. I believe in salvation. I believe in love. But if you don't, that doesn't make the Bible not true.

[00:54:50] David Pasqualone: There's not one verse or passage in the Bible isn't a true foundational life truth. And the Bible [00:55:00] talks about commit thy works unto the Lord and thy thoughts shall be established. And what Melissa is saying is if you're depressed and you lost your kid or into other families, go do something. 

[00:55:11] Melissa Moyer Pusch: That's right.

[00:55:11] Melissa Moyer Pusch: And then 

[00:55:11] David Pasqualone: your mind automatically heals and resets and you start having that joy and that peace again. But if you just sit there, it's understandable. It's hard. I'm not judging you. And I'll sit 

[00:55:23] Melissa Moyer Pusch: there with you. I'll sit there with you until you're ready. 

[00:55:26] David Pasqualone: Yeah. Yeah. We're not, we're not saying that, but we're trying to help you get out of the hole.

[00:55:30] Melissa Moyer Pusch: That's right. I mean, if 

[00:55:31] David Pasqualone: you're in a 30 foot hole, start building the ladder and start crawling out. So, all right, well, Melissa, it's been great speaking with you. It's a hard subject. Again, the borders are wide open, fentanyl is pouring in, the government's doing nothing about it realistically, but you are, and I thank you for your service to these people all over, to myself, my family, and to the world, and more than glorifying God.

[00:55:54] David Pasqualone: So, thank you very much. 

[00:55:56] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Thank you for having me. 

[00:55:57] David Pasqualone: Yeah, yeah. Now, last question. Very easy. I'll put the links in the show notes, but what is the best way for people to reach you? 

[00:56:07] Melissa Moyer Pusch: So for, for that Facebook page, or they can also reach me at centerforexcellence. org and select Jamie's Mom's House. 

[00:56:20] David Pasqualone: Beautiful, beautiful.

[00:56:21] David Pasqualone: So people can go online from anywhere in the world, select, send an email, and then you'll get back to them. 

[00:56:25] Melissa Moyer Pusch: Yes, absolutely. 

[00:56:27] David Pasqualone: All right. Well, any final thoughts you want to leave me with before we wrap up the Remarkable People Podcast for today? 

[00:56:33] Melissa Moyer Pusch: No, thank you so much. And thanks to all the listeners. And I just want to encourage you to be somebody, somebody today.

[00:56:41] David Pasqualone: Awesome. Beautiful. Ladies and gentlemen, we love you. Like Melissa said, like our slogan says, but more importantly, like God says, don't just listen to great truth, but do it, repeat it each day so you can have a great life in this world, but most importantly, in eternity to come. So I'm David Pasqualone. This was Melissa Moyer Pusch, and we'll see you in the next episode.

[00:57:06] David Pasqualone: Ciao. 

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