Naeemah Elias | Managing the Emotions of the Moment, Leaning into Joy, & Overcoming Obstacles

“This is not who you are, this is just where you are right now.” ~ Naeemah Elias

Guest Bio: Naeemah Elias started her career as a professional actress. She worked her way out of poverty south of Chicago and earned a psychology degree from Harvard. After an acting tour as a puppeteer, and few years on Boston stages, she became a mother. She quickly became a Single-Mom with 3 kids under 6, and got serious about cultivating independent free-range children, while building a corporate career! After 13 years climbing the corporate ladder, Naeemah created Elias Presence Ventures to transform the universe of talent development and mobility. From Thriving as an Outsider, through public speaking, to management training, she aligns company culture with the leadership of the future so everyone thrives.

 SHOW NOTES: 

• Name Pronunciation: Nye-e-Ma  E-lie-ass
• Website(s): https://www.eliaspresence.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/naeemahelias/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@luckeymommey
• Mindvalley App: Includes meditation, wellness, wholeness, and nutrition programs discussed on the podcast
• Wildfit (also on the Mindvalley app) is the nutrition program that Naeemah did, and it truly was a life-changing experience.

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• REMARKABLE OFFER 2: Go to Naeemah’s website at https://www.eliaspresence.com/lets-connect to sign up for a free consultation.

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Transcript

Naeemah Elias | Managing the Emotions of the Moment, Leaning into Joy, & Overcoming Obstacles

[00:00:00] David Pasqualone: Hello, friends. Welcome to this week's episode of the Remarkable People Podcast. Today, we are here with our remarkable friend, Naeemah Elias. Naeemah, how are you today? 

[00:00:11] Naeemah Elias: I'm fantastic. How are you, David? 

[00:00:13] David Pasqualone: Man, I'm remarkable, and I am super pumped to be here with you and our audience.

[00:00:18] David Pasqualone: And some listeners have been with us for five years, 300 plus episodes. Some listeners, this is their first episode they've ever heard of the Remarkable People Podcast. Now, they know that the show is all about growth and glorifying God. And we're going to hear about what you were able to overcome and achieve in your life, reverse engineer it, break it down in the practical steps, so the listeners can too.

[00:00:43] David Pasqualone: So not just be inspired by you, but to actually, we can learn and grow together. If there's one thing that you guarantee them, Naeemah, that if they stick through the entire show, they're going to get this. Gold Brick. What is that one thing? 

[00:01:02] Naeemah Elias (2): It doesn't really matter what obstacles you have in your path, that overcoming them is possible.

[00:01:10] Naeemah Elias (2): And transformation and putting in the work and putting in the commitment, you can have a completely different life experience than the one that you have today. 

[00:01:20] David Pasqualone: Awesome. And how all of us need that at different points in our life and usually every day, right? Overcoming obstacles, adapting, overcoming. All right.

[00:01:29] David Pasqualone: So in this episode, ladies and gentlemen, you're about to hear Naeemah's story of how, you know, her whole life story, how this became such an important topic, how this became something she had to do. And then she's going to teach you how to do it as well. So we're going to take a quick, short break and get back with Naeemah and enjoy this great episode.

[00:01:52] David Pasqualone: Be right back.

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[00:02:54] David Pasqualone: All right, ladies and gentlemen, we are back. Naeemah, tell us about your life. You know, everything that happens to us, good, bad, or ugly, pretty ugly, pretty, it's all makes us who we are today. So what was your upbringing like? Where are you from? Brothers, sisters, family?

[00:03:10] David Pasqualone: What was the core structure you grew up in? 

[00:03:12] Naeemah Elias (2): Absolutely. So I grew up in a pretty large family in a town south of Chicago. Um, I have five siblings and I'm the second oldest and the oldest girl. I grew up in poverty. I moved, we moved around from house to house every couple of years. And as an adult, I re looked back on that and realized that we were basically on the verge of homelessness my entire life.

[00:03:35] Naeemah Elias (2): And somehow my parents figured out how to land in, uh, in a building, in a house every time. But, you know, I remember in third grade packing up everything that we owned into a van and driving in the middle of the night. Um, so I'm assuming we were breaking a lease, uh, or, you know, leaving a lot of things behind and we just took what we could carry and, you know, and moved into another place in a different town.

[00:04:00] Naeemah Elias (2): And so we, we grew up with some challenges. My father had some My father had some mental illness challenges. He was agoraphobic and it was really difficult for him to be out in the world and so it was difficult for him to work. And so he spent a lot of his time focused on working with us, raising us, focusing on education, making sure that we had the foundation we needed to be able to be successful in the world.

[00:04:25] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, and my mom worked part time as a substitute teacher because with six children, she had to be available to show up whenever somebody needed her to show up. And so she couldn't have a permanent job, uh, because she was constantly going to doctor's appointments and, uh, showing up at schools and, and doing the things that had to be done there.

[00:04:44] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, so that's a lot about the foundation piece. Um, I focused on education as the exit. I think, you know, a lot of kids in my town, went to football or basketball or something like that. Those were the options for the boys. Um, other options were teenage pregnancy. A lot of the girls [00:05:00] in my high school had at least one kid by the time we graduated and probably half of them had two, three or four kids by the time we graduated high school.

[00:05:08] Naeemah Elias (2): So that was a very acceptable and common option, right? Um, and, you know, drugs, gangs, all of those kinds of things. And my parents were focused on education and making sure that I understood that these were not, this was not my life, these were my circumstances, and they taught me that from a really early age.

[00:05:27] Naeemah Elias (2): This is not who you are, this is just where we are. And so getting out of there was kind of my primary focus for most of my childhood. Uh, when I was in third grade. I was assaulted. A girl walked up, walked up and grabbed me and spun me around and scratched my face and almost took my eye, um, because I, you know, talk like a white girl.

[00:05:49] Naeemah Elias (2): And so there was this whole challenge of me not fitting in, me not being comfortable in spaces, and just, you know, The challenge of trying to figure out how to survive in a space where I felt like I was under threat. So we'll jump forward. I got the grades, I did the work, and I got into Harvard. And so this was a huge deal, right?

[00:06:13] Naeemah Elias (2): And, um, and it was also terrifying. I was like, well, I'm not going to go to Harvard. I mean, I knew I got in, but like, I could never go to Harvard. That's not for me. And. Really, truly in my heart, believed like it was not possible. It wasn't something that I was going to be comfortable doing. And then I went and I visited and, and I didn't visit on the weekend where they were doing their show and tell, right, where they were inviting all of the, you know, future freshmen and like putting on the whole show.

[00:06:37] Naeemah Elias (2): I was actually there the weekend before because I had a competition that weekend and I couldn't go. And so I got to see how they prepared the show. You know, how they did the work to get everything set up for the folks who were coming the following weekend. And what I got to see was a little more real, a little more authentic.

[00:06:53] Naeemah Elias (2): And I had a great experience. And so I said, all right, I'll go. Um, went to Harvard, did two years and had a full emotional breakdown at the end of my sophomore year. I was so overwhelmed by the culture, by the work, by everything about the experience. Um, I started crying one day. And I didn't stop crying for hours.

[00:07:15] Naeemah Elias (2): I could not gather myself. I could not reset. And it was just, it was powerful, right? And I reached out to my dad and I was, you know, talking to him and I was just like, I don't know what's happening to me. I don't know what's happening. And he said, you're dealing with a little bit of clinical depression and I want you to go and You know, I want you to reach out to health services.

[00:07:36] Naeemah Elias (2): I wanted you to talk to somebody. And so I went and, you know, they were like, okay, you know, wanted to figure out whether I was in crisis and I was creating danger, right? Like whether I was a risk to myself or risk to people around me and there was no acute danger. And so they scheduled an appointment for me the next day.

[00:07:52] Naeemah Elias (2): And it was supposed to be kind of like a 15 minute conversation and it lasted three hours. And it was just, um, it was. It was the first time that I'd had just sort of an open, honest conversation about stress, about emotions, about mental illness. Um, and it was tough. It was a really tough conversation to have.

[00:08:15] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, and I walked away from that and the subsequent therapy sessions with the commitment to I need to make sure that I'm creating an environment for myself where I can be healthy and where I can be strong and recognizing that environmental factors can have a huge effect on my ability to function in the world.

[00:08:32] Naeemah Elias (2): And so not surrounding myself with people. who were dark and depressed and, you know, always negative and not putting myself in situations where I was going to be unhappy, right? That was really important. So, um, I left school after sophomore year. I went and lived in DC and worked on Capitol Hill and did some work lobbying Congress and, um, and, and worked for an organization that had supported me when I was a teenager.

[00:09:01] Naeemah Elias (2): And then I was able to go back to school with a reset and finish up my last couple of years and graduate with a little more calm and a lot more confidence. So now I'm graduating and all of my friends are going off to be investment bankers and consultants and I didn't know what any of that was because I grew up in the projects and like those things aren't real.

[00:09:29] Naeemah Elias (2): And so I'm stepping out into the world with no plan, but I have been acting. I've been an actress my whole life. And so I, you know, I decided I was going to keep doing acting gigs and I took a day job as an executive assistant. And, uh, and then I got a tour with the American Repertory Theater, which is a local theater here in Boston.

[00:09:48] Naeemah Elias (2): And I got to tour with them for a year and a half as a puppeteer. And this was, uh, again, a confidence boosting experience because the fact that I got the part and I was an understudy for some of the scenes, [00:10:00] Significant female roles. And so it, you know, it emboldened me and made me realize this was something I could do.

[00:10:06] Naeemah Elias (2): This was something I was capable of. So I spent the next few years of my life as an executive assistant by day and an actress by night and helped to build a small theater company, did a lot of lead roles, got a lot of really great attention. Um, and it was great. And I was thriving and I was doing really well and I was sitting in joy.

[00:10:25] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, and then I got my first stalker and I had to have stalker training and I had to deal with the fact that if I was going to do theater, I had to accept that this person had access to me. He could show up at the theater when I was rehearsing. He was in the theater every single day when we were performing and that the people around me had to.

[00:10:45] Naeemah Elias (2): recognize him and know who he was and pay attention to him to make sure that he wasn't doing anything dangerous, um, or that he wasn't creating risk for me. And because he never did anything technically wrong, there, we couldn't file a police report or restraining order or anything like that. I just had to deal with this fact that this person just always had access to me.

[00:11:08] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, and it was incredibly uncomfortable, right? I remember sitting in a restaurant once and he just, walked in and sat down at the table with me and my friends. He thought he knew me. He thought we were friends. And, uh, it was, it was very stressful. And so at this point, uh, I had also been thinking about motherhood and I had been thinking about what was next for me.

[00:11:31] Naeemah Elias (2): And so I made the decision that I was going to be a mom and I was going to kind of transition out of this life. So I left the theater behind and moved forward, um, into motherhood. And that was the next sort of major stage of my life. And so, uh, I, I got together with, uh, a childhood friend and, uh, you know, we got married, we had three kids and I went through a period of sort of, uh, increasing insecurity, uh, increasing discomfort, um, and, and quickly, Becoming a shell of myself, uh, with this idea that I had to create space for him and he didn't create space for himself.

[00:12:17] Naeemah Elias (2): Like the way he created that space was to diminish me and to silence me. And so, you know, he would say things like, you know, you think you're so smart. You think you're better than everybody else. You think you're so great. And so I was constantly getting these messages that I was worthless. from the person who was supposed to be my partner.

[00:12:35] Naeemah Elias (2): And so now we're going through, you know, I've got, I've got kids. I'm, you know, pregnant and nursing for six years straight, you know, for three kids. And in the midst of all of this, I'm being told that I'm nothing. I'm being told that I'm not good enough. I'm not so smart. I'm not so great. You know, you think you're all this, but you're not so great.

[00:12:55] Naeemah Elias (2): And I just, I kept getting those messages and, um, and I couldn't pull out of it. Right. And so, um, when I got to the point where I felt like, you know, this is not sustainable, this is not the life that I want. Um, I got to the point where I was. I was on vacation with my extended family, my siblings, all of their kids, my mom, my husband, our kids, and all of that.

[00:13:19] Naeemah Elias (2): And I found myself standing on a balcony on this really, really beautiful, rainy afternoon, looking out over the trees and the rain was just really lightly falling. And it was beautiful. And I remember it smelled beautiful and it looked beautiful. And I remember the thought that I wanted to fly. And really in that moment, knowing.

[00:13:44] Naeemah Elias (2): that I could fly. And I got closer and closer to that edge and something in the back of my head was like, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Don't go any further. And I stepped back from the window and realized that that moment could have been the end of my life, right? Like that, that was the moment. And, you know, and I, and I stepped back from it.

[00:14:09] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, and I went and I told my husband. And he said, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you crazy or something? So obviously not the conversation I needed in that moment, you know, and I went and I talked to my sister and, and my sister said, no, you're not allowed to do that. You're not allowed to think that you're alone.

[00:14:30] Naeemah Elias (2): You're not allowed to think that you are out here doing this without any support and without anybody. Like, you need to call me. You need to call me for little things. You need to call me for big things. You need to call me for whatever else is going on. You are not doing this by yourself. And so that was, um, you know, that was a moment.

[00:14:50] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, and then, you know, eventually I did, you know, get divorced and kind of move on from there. And now I'm restarting my life with a two, four, and six year old as a single mom. [00:15:00] And so I moved back to Boston. We had moved back to the Midwest at that point. I moved back to Boston. Um, and I started my first job in finance as an executive assistant and had the realization that, I have to get serious about my life.

[00:15:16] Naeemah Elias (2): I have to get serious about my finances. I have to be really intentional about being able to provide for my children because I am on my own now, you know? And so at this point I started being intentional about building my career. I was working in a research office and my boss asked me, uh, to do some public speaking training for the introverted researchers.

[00:15:42] Naeemah Elias (2): And, you know, she's like, this is not a population of folks who are comfortable in front of people. Use your acting training and help them to, uh, you know, help them to be better. And so this is the first time that I ever intentionally created any training for anyone. Um, but I worked with this amazing group of just, you know, brilliant neurodivergent introverts.

[00:16:04] Naeemah Elias (2): And helped them to get more comfortable standing in front of a room, standing in front of an audience. And it was really effective and it was really fun. I enjoyed it. And so that kind of expanded and, you know, other folks in the organization started asking me to come in and have conversations and work with their folks and do different trainings.

[00:16:27] Naeemah Elias (2): So as I moved through the organization, as I said, I decided it was time to build my career. So I started moving around and trying on different functions. And I rose through the corporate ladder over the course of 10 years from an executive assistant into a role of managing director. And during this time, I did a lot of training and development for the people around me.

[00:16:48] Naeemah Elias (2): I helped people to learn how to climb the corporate ladder. I helped people to learn how to navigate that career experience. At the same time, um, I'm raising three kids. Um, I had moved my mom here. I retired her and hired her to be our nanny. And, you know, she helped with the concept of raising independent and responsible children.

[00:17:10] Naeemah Elias (2): And so this is another really important focus point for me. I think you've got a lot of kids. Um, so Gen X. I have this t shirt that says, you know, Gen X raised on hose water and neglect, right? Um, we, we ran the world freely, right? Like we spent a lot of time just kind of on our own doing and exploring and, and having this amazing experience, but we were very unparented, right?

[00:17:34] Naeemah Elias (2): And, and, um, I think a lot of us grew up and wanted to give our kids kind of the opposite experience. We wanted them to have what we didn't have. And what we didn't have was parents who were paying attention to us all the time. And so now we have this next generation of kids whose parents have just stared at them 24 hours a day, every single day, right?

[00:17:53] Naeemah Elias (2): They go to every practice, they stay the whole time. And I'm like, well, if I take my kid to practice, somebody else is in charge of them. I'm going to go get some other stuff done, right? But the parents who are with their kids, watching their kids engaged in every second of their kids lives. And the problem with that, the challenge is that, is that you may teach your kids morals and values, you may teach them responsibility, but if they never have an opportunity to practice it, then they don't know what they would do.

[00:18:20] Naeemah Elias (2): When the opportunity comes for them to step out into the world and to do something. So, you know, my kids were walking to school on their own when my daughter was in first grade and the boys were in, you know, third and fourth. And they, um, you know, they started taking the public transportation, uh, the subway on their own without an adult when they were six, eight, and 10.

[00:18:43] Naeemah Elias (2): And so, They really learned independence from an early age. You know, I don't drive. So they've been riding buses and trains since they were born. And so they learned how to navigate the world on their own. Uh, they started cooking by, uh, for each one of them, by the time they were 10, they started doing laundry by the time they were nine.

[00:19:02] Naeemah Elias (2): And so I had, you know, all of these ideas around, you know, How they could help to run our household, how we could collectively build our society, and not have it be a space where like, this is mom's house, mom's responsible for all the things, and we just get to show up and exist here, right? So the concept of society, the concept of community within our home, and then that extends You know, the the folks that you bring into our home.

[00:19:28] Naeemah Elias (2): And so I made it very clear to them early, right? Um, I'm not a big fan of kids. I think a lot of kids, uh, you know, they don't, they're not respectful. They don't know how to follow rules and I'm not, you know, I don't need robots, but I do need respectful people in my space. And so I told them, Young, I want you to be intentional about who you bring into my house.

[00:19:48] Naeemah Elias (2): Because your friends should not create stress or frustration for me. And so they've been really intentional their entire lives about cultivating social circles of people who would come into our space [00:20:00] and who would be welcome and who would fit in our space. And not just be, not because they were the same as my kids or they did all the same things.

[00:20:07] Naeemah Elias (2): I mean, they took a lot of their friends on the subway for the very first time because they had never been. They took a lot of their friends into Boston from our suburb on the first day. for the first time because they hadn't gone, you know, with their parents. They'd always been in our suburb. And so they were able to create really cool experiences for their friends because the friends knew how to manage themselves, how to comport themselves.

[00:20:30] Naeemah Elias (2): And I felt safe that there wouldn't be risk, you know, when they went out into the world with these kids. Um, So now, uh, my kids are, uh, where are we now? 15, 17, 19. My middle child just turned 18. 15, 18, and 19. Um, My oldest is a, uh, sophomore, uh, in, at a university in the UK, uh, studying animation and illustration.

[00:20:56] Naeemah Elias (2): My second is applying right now for universities in Tokyo to study psychology, and my daughter is a fashion designer, and she's been making clothes since she was about seven, and she's a sophomore in high school right now, and she's talking about going to either Seoul, Korea or Amsterdam for, uh, for her university to study fashion.

[00:21:18] Naeemah Elias (2): So we've had this incredible experience. I want them to go and see other parts of the world so that they can have a bigger perspective and then choose, like, where do we want to be? Who do we want to be? And how do we want to show up in the world? And the button on my story is I grew at State Street for 13 years.

[00:21:37] Naeemah Elias (2): I had incredible experiences, learned a lot of really cool things over the course of my time there. And I trained 4, 500 people outside of my day job. Just as work that I did. Because it brought me joy and because I saw the value in helping people to make choices that were intentional about their careers.

[00:21:57] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, I left State Street in 2023 and started my own practice and now my life is helping people to thrive and helping people to find the place where they're going to be their most excellent and have joy in that excellence. 

[00:22:14] David Pasqualone: Beautiful. So we covered a lot of ground.

[00:22:20] David Pasqualone: So let's do this. I'm going to go back and ask you some questions, uh, to the best of my memory, because I want to make sure we can all glean as much as we can from your life. And thank you for being here to share this. So first off, go back. You said when you were at Harvard, you know, Not everybody gets to go to an Ivy League school, world renowned, right?

[00:22:46] David Pasqualone: When you were there, and you're there for two years, you know, all college is pressure, all universities are pressure and stress, and it's a change, unless you go to a state party school, right? Like Zumas. But the thing is, it's just like, most good quality educations are tough. And, you know, it's If you didn't go to any other university, this might be hard to answer, but was the standard at Harvard truly exceptional?

[00:23:10] David Pasqualone: Like, did they really push? Or was it a normal college experience, university experience? How would you describe the environment at Harvard? How accelerated is it? 

[00:23:21] Naeemah Elias (2): I think the standard is really high, um, and it's partially high because of the expectations that the university has, but it's also high because of the expectations that we have for ourselves, right?

[00:23:31] Naeemah Elias (2): If you think about, um, I don't know, so picture freshman year, you have You know, 1600, um, 16, 17 and 18 year olds, right? Mostly about 17, but my roommate was 16, right? Um, all of whom has spent their entire lives working extra hard to be the top of their class. Um, limited social skills. Right? Um, we did, we did school, we did whatever our activities were, right?

[00:24:02] Naeemah Elias (2): Like I was in band, I was in theater, and we excelled at all of those things. And we're used to being the best and the brightest. And then you bring all of these folks together, well somebody's gonna not be the top of the class. Half the people are not going to be at the top of the class, but we're fighting, fighting, fighting to maintain the status of the identity that we had developed for ourselves our entire lives.

[00:24:23] Naeemah Elias (2): And so it wasn't just the expectations that the university had on us, right? And those expectations were high, but it was also the expectations that we had for ourselves and for each other. So we, we expected excellence, And we drove excellence in the people around us. And so, yeah, I mean, I thought it was an amazing academic experience.

[00:24:46] Naeemah Elias (2): I learned a lot. Um, but I would say, you know, most of my roommates were pre med. And so they were in this whole different space. Like I was studying psychology. Um, these students were studying like organic chemistry and like these like really high [00:25:00] level biology classes and all of these things. And the stress level All the writing that you had to do, right?

[00:25:05] Naeemah Elias (2): Like I had to do a, you know, a 40 page, um, basically mini thesis my sophomore year. Um, and I ended up in the hospital, you know? And so it's like, like the stress that you put on yourself. I, I, I put so much stress on myself that I ended up having like panic pains and we thought, um, they thought I was having a heart attack.

[00:25:26] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, and so, um, whole dramatic thing where they, you know, fire trucks and ambulances show up at my building and I'm mortified because I'm like, I have to come out of the dorm and all this is happening. So, um, so yes, I think it's, um, it's, it was an incredible experience of excellence and the expectation, external and internal, um, pushed us to the limits, pushed us to our highest capabilities.

[00:25:51] David Pasqualone: Okay, yeah, and so, and then you did answer another question I had is what did you study, which you said psychology, and then when you were in that second year, and you had that, I don't know, breakdown, or, you know, I'd call it, you know, for me, same thing I've had a moment where I broke down, right? You said you talked to your father, and he said, it sounds like clinical depression.

[00:26:16] David Pasqualone: Was his background also in psychology? Because that's not a normal thing that a father says, clinical psychology. It's like, man, you sound like you're depressed. You sound sad. You need help. That's like, you know, so your dad had a background in psychology as well. 

[00:26:30] Naeemah Elias (2): Yeah. So my parents were both, uh, like at a community college when I was in middle school and, or elementary school.

[00:26:38] Naeemah Elias (2): And they would like, you know, take me and just like, sit me in the French class while they went to classes on Saturdays. And, uh, so I got to, you know, start hearing French and understand it a little bit, um, but they were studying psychology. And so I, I grew up around that language, uh, because, you know, when you're in school and you're studying, you talk about it all the time and they were both studying it.

[00:26:58] Naeemah Elias (2): And so they were talking about it with each other and with us. And, you know, and trying different things, right? Like, they were both interested in child development. And so, you know, they were trying the things that they were learning, you know, in their classes, uh, around us and our education. And, you know, there are six of us, and we all left that environment and went to college and spread our wings and went out and did other things in the world.

[00:27:20] Naeemah Elias (2): And so, they got something right, right? Because, um, A lot of kids in those communities don't get out. A lot of kids in those communities, um, like, they don't figure out how to be able to build a life for themselves, um, that's different from the struggles that they grew up with. 

[00:27:37] David Pasqualone: Yeah. Now, for your dad to say that, did you have any other problems, like, growing up?

[00:27:41] David Pasqualone: Like, looking back now, I can look at my life, and I, Always had a low level depression. You know, I think it's just, and I found I have a genetic disorder where my brain doesn't get enough nutrients, right?

[00:27:56] David Pasqualone: When your dad said that, was that isolated to, okay, this all started at Harvard, or did you have a history through your childhood of being a little depressive? 

[00:28:05] Naeemah Elias (2): I think I had a history of some anxiety, but we didn't talk about that back then, right? Like, so nobody knew. I think if I look back now, I'm just like, Oh, I was always afraid.

[00:28:14] Naeemah Elias (2): I was always, always afraid. So I probably was dealing with some low level anxiety for most of my childhood, but I wouldn't say that depression was an issue for me up until that point. Um, but now as an adult, as we start to explore and talk about our family. Background, like there is some mental illness.

[00:28:29] Naeemah Elias (2): Like I said, my father was agoraphobic, like you know, earlier in his life. He did go out into the world and he did a lot of things, but as he got older it was harder and harder for him to go out in the world. And so when I think back on high school, I think. Whenever I came home, my dad was always there, and he wanted to hear about my day, and he wanted to hear the stories, and he wanted to challenge me, and he would ask me questions, and if I didn't get something right on an exam, we had to, like, go out and write, and so I think about my dad as, like, my academic challenge, uh, my, um, you know, my teacher in my home, uh, but then as an adult, I realized, like, it's not common for your dad to always be in the house.

[00:29:06] Naeemah Elias (2): For Right? Like that's not a common experience, uh, you know, for, for people to have. Um, but he was deal, he was agoraphobic. And so going out into the world was, you know, a real challenge for him. And then we started exploring and there are issues with addiction, there are issues with depression, there are issues with, you know, various other sort of mental illness, you know, sort of peppered through our family.

[00:29:29] Naeemah Elias (2): And so, you know, now I'm like, oh, yeah, like it's genetic. It's just there, right? Um, and you just kind of have to learn how to manage it and whether that's through ments, whether that's your behavioral conditioning, you know, whatever it is. Um, but I think he just, he listened to me talk through my tears and not be able to explain, there wasn't a catalyst.

[00:29:47] Naeemah Elias (2): There wasn't like a specific thing that had happened that I was sad about. I was just sad, you know, and so as I talked through it, he was just like, okay, so this sounds like myoclinical depression and you know, you [00:30:00] need to talk to a professional. 

[00:30:02] David Pasqualone: Gotcha. And then one more thing, the agoraphobia, that is, is that of germs of crowded spaces?

[00:30:09] David Pasqualone: What is that? 

[00:30:10] Naeemah Elias (2): It's open spaces. 

[00:30:11] David Pasqualone: Open spaces. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You said that at the beginning and I wanted to clarify that. I just wanted to make sure I was getting confused with the one where jurors or people wash their hands all the time. 

[00:30:21] Naeemah Elias (2): Yeah. No, no, no. So this was just open spaces. And so he just, he was comfortable within the walls of our home.

[00:30:26] Naeemah Elias (2): And as he got older, um, that became more and more the case. 

[00:30:30] David Pasqualone: Yeah. Okay. Awesome. So let's do this. You're being pounded with stress. You have, you know, a fire hose of And like you said, probably 90 percent of it was the inside, the intrinsic, like, I'm going to, I'm, you know, I'm in with all these super achievers and we all want to be number one.

[00:30:53] David Pasqualone: So it's a stress that was put on you. And I went to public 

[00:30:56] Naeemah Elias: school. So yeah. 

[00:30:59] David Pasqualone: Yeah. Yeah. And so you're inside, you're an achiever, you're challenging yourself more than anybody else, but it's wearing your engine down. You're just constantly in that red zone revving. Right. For our listeners who are connecting with you, and they're like, oh, I feel the same way, or I've been there, I'm there now.

[00:31:18] David Pasqualone: What are some tips, techniques, what are some things you've learned? Naeemah, to break that cycle and to calm down and take a breath. 

[00:31:30] Naeemah Elias (2): Yeah. So I like change. Um, when, when I feel like a situation isn't working for me, I'm the queen of, I need a new job. I need a new town. I need to do, you know, whatever it is.

[00:31:41] Naeemah Elias (2): Right. So, um, cultivating the strength to be able to walk away. Um, so recognizing like if the stress is because the situation is not the right situation for you, like this is not where you're supposed to be, this is not what you're supposed to be doing, and you're fighting, fighting, fighting to make it work, um, then you have to figure out how you walk away and you have a new situation for yourself.

[00:32:01] Naeemah Elias (2): So, is it getting a new job? Right. Um, and, and don't quit and then find a new job. You find a new job before you quit. Right. Um, is it that there are people in your life who create stress for you? So I got to be really good at a young age at cutting people out and I don't do it lightly. I, you know, I, I work on relationships and I think it's really important to like, to cultivate the people that you have in your life.

[00:32:25] Naeemah Elias (2): But if a person, is responsible for triggering stress and triggering negative emotion in you on a regular basis, then you have to question whether that person fits in your life, right? And so for me, removing people and situations that are stressful for me has been really important for me managing my emotional state.

[00:32:46] Naeemah Elias (2): And so those are two things. The other thing is, Everything is hard when your stress level is at the peak, right? When everything is like all the way at the top. So at the end of, at the beginning of 2023, I went through some personal transformation. Um, I started going to therapy on a regular basis and working with somebody with whom I could talk about the challenges that I was facing and really kind of process the struggles and the anger and the emotion and the things that I was dealing with in my life.

[00:33:16] Naeemah Elias (2): I started a meditation program. I had never been able to meditate before. My brain is moving, moving, moving constantly and learning how to sit still and calm my brain and just say, okay, I'm going to take a moment and I'm going to reset. Well, learning how to do that. And I started meditating twice a day, every morning and every night.

[00:33:35] Naeemah Elias (2): And then In the middle of the day, if I was having a moment and I just needed to pause, I could just like take myself into that meditative state and just pause for a minute. And so that taught me to manage the emotion of the moment and to relax myself. Right. And so we've got the therapy, we've got the meditation.

[00:33:53] Naeemah Elias (2): And then the next step for me was nutrition. So I started a, uh, a nutrition program and, uh, and it was crazy. You know, when I went into it, I was just like, nobody's going to take my wine for me. And there's no life without cheese. And, you know, and I had all these ideas about like, you know, yeah, I'll try this, but right.

[00:34:10] Naeemah Elias (2): And I went through this program and it was an elimination program. And through the process of it, Um, you basically remove all, uh, artificial foods that are sort of not natural to our bodies. Um, you know, and if we go back, you know, uh, dairy has only been a part of the human diet for some limited period of time.

[00:34:28] Naeemah Elias (2): Like most of human history, we did not drink cow's milk, right? Um, and so there are things, you know, grains, um, is not, That's recent history, right? So there are all these things that are sort of recently introduced, and of course processed foods, packaged foods, chemicals, all of those things. So the program was about removing all the processed foods, and ultimately you get to a point where you spend about five or six weeks eating just meat and vegetables, like everything from scratch.

[00:34:56] Naeemah Elias (2): Like you cook the meat yourself, you make the vegetables yourself, there's no [00:35:00] sugar in your diet. Um, it's just meat and vegetables. And I went through this program and then when I tried to reintroduce dairy to my, um, body, I was, I got violently ill. Um, when I tried to reintroduce bread to my body, I had a whole reaction.

[00:35:17] Naeemah Elias (2): Like my mouth started burning. I got bumps around my mouth. I had an allergic reaction to the bread. Um, and so it was like, Oh, I can't have any of these things anymore. But more importantly, As I was going through the process, I had the realization, I'm like, after every meal, I always felt kind of sick. I always felt kind of like, Oh, uh, maybe I ate too much.

[00:35:38] Naeemah Elias (2): Like I need to do better about my portions or, you know, maybe I ate the wrong thing. Right. So I always felt overly full. I always felt like I had this acid reflux. I was taking Tums every single night. Um, and, and I always felt bad. And then when we got to a point in the program and I looked up and I was just like, I don't feel bad anymore.

[00:35:57] Naeemah Elias (2): I don't feel sick anymore. I don't have like a low level, constantly in my belly. And it was, it was amazing because if you're physically feeling sick all of the time, and you are emotionally stressed all the time, and everybody in your life is just, you know, triggering, um, then you, you don't have the capacity to manage anything.

[00:36:21] Naeemah Elias (2): You don't have the capacity to deal with whatever comes. But, For me, taking the time to manage my emotions through the therapy, manage my capacity through the meditation, and then manage my physical state through the nutrition, I found that I had the confidence and the ability to take on things that never would have been possible.

[00:36:42] Naeemah Elias (2): I never would have imagined actually starting my own business. Like just going out and like, no safety net, we're just going to do this. If you had asked me three years ago, if I was going to be, you know, an entrepreneur, I'd be like, nah. I'm an artist. I just want to show up and do my, do my thing. I'm not interested in running a business.

[00:36:59] Naeemah Elias (2): That's not for me. It wasn't possible until I was able to create space in my mind, my body, and my soul to really be able to lean into this thing that brings me joy and recognizing that leaning into the thing that brings me joy, um, and also helps the people around me. Like I'm aligning my purpose for myself with my purpose for the world and

[00:37:24] Naeemah Elias (2): It's extraordinary. . It's absolutely extraordinary. 

[00:37:30] David Pasqualone: So talk about when we mentioned, um, managing the emotion of the moment. Mm-Hmm. . And you said how meditations really helps you with that. Yeah. Meditation's a word like church. You say a word, you say church. Yeah. To a hundred thousand people. And it has an emotional feel.

[00:37:46] David Pasqualone: It's greater than the dictionary feel. Mm-hmm. Right. The connotation versus denotation. Mm-Hmm. Meditations. Similar. Everybody has their own mindset of what it is or experience. What kind of like, what's like, if you were to say, Hey, here's some meditation tips to try, this is what I do. What does that process look like for you?

[00:38:06] Naeemah Elias (2): So if you go to church, you have moments where you're sitting and the pastor or the minister or whoever your leader is, um, they're speaking about the word, they're sharing a message and they start to talk about it and you have a moment where it hits you and you feel elevated, right? You feel like they're speaking directly to you and you have a private moment with that leader where you feel transported.

[00:38:31] Naeemah Elias (2): Right? And you're outside of your body. You're outside of all of the things that are happening or have happened in your life. You are in the moment with the word, right? That's what meditation is for me. So, uh, part of it is. It's hard to just clear your mind, right? When I talk about the message, you're focused on the word.

[00:38:53] Naeemah Elias (2): You're not focused on silence. You're focused on the word. You're focused on what that does to you and for you. So, um, I believe in mantras, right? And your mantra might be a prayer. Um, it might be, you know, a statement of any kind, right? Um, but sitting and pausing in a moment. So I like having some sort of musical sound, like I have a meditation app, right?

[00:39:11] Naeemah Elias (2): So I'll put a sound, a meditation sound on it and it might be sound bowls. It might be just, you know, really cool sort of, you know, oboe sounds or something, but I like soft. I like, um, you know, no, uh, no melody. Just like soft sounds and that helps to kind of soothe my brain. And then, um, Whatever the word is that I'm focused on, right?

[00:39:30] Naeemah Elias (2): And so I have, you know, various different ones that I do, but focusing on that mantra, focusing on that phrase that helps to center you and help you to be where you want to be in that moment, right? And so, I am a huge fan of guided meditations. And so you can, um, you know, there's the balance app. There's the calm app.

[00:39:51] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, Mindvalley has a ton of them. And so you, you find the meditation that works for the moment that you're in right now. So for me, I can pull [00:40:00] up the app and I can say, um, I need something for focus. I need something for stress. And then I can do a four minute meditation or I can do a 25 minute meditation, right?

[00:40:08] Naeemah Elias (2): You pick which one you want. And if I'm in the middle of the day and I'm just trying to get through some stuff, I might pick a four minute meditation, put my earbuds in because it silences the sounds around me and listen to that person's voice and focus on their voice and where it takes me and just center for a moment on where they are taking me.

[00:40:27] Naeemah Elias (2): Right? And so if they're saying to me, like, I have one that I absolutely love, and it's, uh, it's called, you know, You Are Exactly Where You're Supposed to Be. And I did this meditation for the first time. Um, I woke up one morning and I had sent out all of these emails. It was very early in my business. And I was just like, okay, when I wake up, I'm going to have like 60 responses of people who are going to be like ready and who want to work with me.

[00:40:49] Naeemah Elias (2): And I'm all excited. I had one email. And it was from a friend saying, Oh, I'm so proud of you. It was not business. And I was like, ah, I did, ah, you know, and, and I was frustrated. And so I pulled up the app and I just kind of scanned through and I found you are exactly where you're supposed to be right now.

[00:41:07] Naeemah Elias (2): And I, and it was maybe a 10 minute meditation. And I laid back, and I just listened. And, you know, she talked about how you are, um, you are not in control of the world. You are not in control of what other people are doing. They are doing what they are supposed to be doing right now, and you are doing what you are supposed to be doing right now.

[00:41:25] Naeemah Elias (2): And when the time comes for you to move into that next part of yourself, you will be ready to move into that next part of yourself. But there is no value in carrying emotion right now about how other people are behaving. You are exactly where you are supposed to be right now. And it was like, uh, it was like, it was a message for me in that moment to just breathe.

[00:41:46] Naeemah Elias (2): And I, you know, I don't remember all of the language of the meditation, but I remember the first time I did it, when I finished, I, I sat up and I was filled with joy. Right. I, I had reset my energy cause I had just woken up, right. I was getting ready to go into the day with God, right. And I had reset my energy and I was walking into my day with joy.

[00:42:10] Naeemah Elias (2): Like everything that is going to happen today is what is supposed to happen today. And I, and I'm just going to move with that. And so when you're thinking about how do you step into meditation, I think the first foray is really focused on that guided meditation, right? Like having. a voice that is kind of talking you through.

[00:42:27] Naeemah Elias (2): And if faith is what drives you, then finding meditations that are specifically, that are prayers, right? That is language that is going to speak to your spirit and speak to your soul and help you to find your center. And being able to do that quickly, being able to move into that quickly when you're having, you know, when your stress levels are getting particularly high.

[00:42:51] David Pasqualone: Excellent. And then leaning into the joy. So now you are meditating and you're pushing out a thousand thoughts and focusing on one Track and it's bringing you like, huh, like calmness. Yeah, and you talked about earlier leaning into the joy Talk about what you define joy as dumb as that sounds like I mean, obviously the joy of the Lord, right?

[00:43:14] David Pasqualone: But when you're saying you're, you're finding your, you're experiencing at the end of your meditation and then leaning into it, talk about that and how you practically do it so you can exponentially grow that good feeling instead of the stress. 

[00:43:27] Naeemah Elias (2): Yeah, so I, I come out of the meditation and I'm like, okay, like this is where I'm supposed to be.

[00:43:33] Naeemah Elias (2): And so then I go and, you know, I, I make my green smoothie for the day. And I know that I'm, I'm putting things in my body that are going to make my body feel good. And I'm just like, okay, like I, I feel good and I want to stay feeling good. So I'm not going to walk into the kitchen and have a donut, right?

[00:43:49] Naeemah Elias (2): Because I want to continue to feel good. So I'm going to make a decision that's going to make me feel good. I'm going to, I'm going to grab my water and Making sure that, um, you know, that I'm staying hydrated, right? So I'm being intentional about what I'm putting in my body. Um, I might go in, uh, and, and send an email and, and reach out to somebody or text and reach out to somebody in my moment of joy and, and share it, spread it, right?

[00:44:13] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, send some joy out into the world because it amplifies itself. Um, when you're sending, uh, you know, you're sending that joy to your friends and the people that you care about, right? Um, and then when you have an interaction with somebody who is not sitting in their joy, with somebody who is leaning into their stress, leaning into their negativity, um, you don't have to join them.

[00:44:38] Naeemah Elias (2): And that's a really big deal, right? You don't have to challenge them or change them, right? Like, there are people who, they have these, um, this sort of stressful energy sometimes. They have this energy that they are, you know, this is who they are and how they operate in the world, but you don't have to join them, right?

[00:44:54] Naeemah Elias (2): You can listen and, you know, and nod and just kind of, you know, breathe through it. And, you [00:45:00] know, if there's a point where you can step in and give them some helpful guidance or something like that, you can do that. But being intentional about I'm not going to join people in their negativity. I'm not going to join people in the emotion that takes me away from the space where I want to be right now.

[00:45:18] David Pasqualone: Beautiful. And when you talked with the Elimination Diet, a lot of people, seriously, were brainwashed. All over the world, but especially in America, the dietary, our FDA, it's corrupt as can be. They recently said cereal is healthier than steak. I mean, how absurd is that? I mean, I'm sorry. Those people need to be beat like pinatas.

[00:45:42] David Pasqualone: That is making people sick for profit. It's, it's ridiculous. It's like saying drink acid, but water's bad. That's how, that's how ridiculous their advice is. And um, you know, all this crap with masks and vaccines and stuff. And if you want to get a vaccine, get a vaccine, but don't make people get a vaccine.

[00:46:01] David Pasqualone: Especially where it's not tested, proven, and there's more evidence to show it causes harm than good, right? So when you're talking about elimination diet and being sick and getting better, I had You know, I was critically ill twice in my life, but one of the times they're like, Hey, we need to put you on an elimination diet to figure out if there's something causing issues, right?

[00:46:26] David Pasqualone: Did you ever do like the doctor did not advise us? And I'm not saying I advise it, but it's what I did to accelerate the process. Cause how long did your, um, It's basically you take everything out and you live off like rice and like you said, maybe one meat or son and you keep introducing food over weeks.

[00:46:46] David Pasqualone: Is that, is that the one you did? 

[00:46:48] Naeemah Elias (2): What we did was it's, it's sort of five weeks of eliminating things, right? Yes. And then it's about five weeks of living on meat and vegetables only. So no rice, no potatoes, no starches at all, no fruit. No sugar. It's literally just, and I only eat chicken and fish, right? I was only eating fish for years and I added chicken back in because I was like, well, I need something else, right?

[00:47:10] Naeemah Elias (2): So, um, so chicken, fish, and vegetables. So I had salads, I had vegetable stir fries, um, and, and this is what I lived on for, for the five weeks of that program. And then the decision to reintroduce it. So, um, you know, I go through seasons where I'm eating fruit. I go through seasons where I'm eating a lot more sort of root vegetables and things like that.

[00:47:31] Naeemah Elias (2): But mainly I eat chicken, fish and vegetables. And I would say, like, this is not easy. This is, this takes, um, it takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of discipline. The amount of food processing, like I spent a ton of time chopping vegetables, right? Um, it's a lot of work. But what I would say is like, yes. It takes The cereal is a, is super problematic.

[00:47:53] Naeemah Elias (2): It's, it's mostly sugar. If you look at the ingredients in most cereals, the first or the second ingredient is sugar. Now think about that. The first ingredient is sugar for a lot of these, right? And then if you look at ingredients on a lot of packages, there's seven different kinds of sugar in there, right?

[00:48:09] Naeemah Elias (2): It's not just sugar, right? There's seven different kinds. And so when you're thinking about like, how do I make my body healthier? Okay. You think about eating things as close to their natural state as possible. That's how you get to healthy food. How did it come out of the ground? And how closely can you eat it to the way that it came out of the ground?

[00:48:28] Naeemah Elias (2): That's going to get you to your healthiest natural state. And the more you processed foods, um, once it's in a package, once it's in a box, it's moved so far. Like, is it recognizable as its original ingredients? Is it recognizable as that thing that you would have plucked out of the ground for? Or that you would have shot with your bow and arrow to, you know, to, to take home to, to provide for your tribe, right?

[00:48:52] Naeemah Elias (2): And so if it is so far away from its original state that you can't recognize it for what it was, then it's not food. And we used to get, uh, you know, so in the, in the history of the human, uh, species, right? We used to get water from food, right? All of the vegetables had water in them. You know, the animals, like everything we ate had water in it.

[00:49:16] Naeemah Elias (2): And now if you think about it, when you want a snack, you have some chips, you have some pretzels, you have some candy. None of that has any water in it. And so we're not getting, uh, the water that we're supposed to get from our nutrition. We're getting a ton of sugar and like, It's amazing. Like when people say to me like, Oh, I don't eat that much sugar.

[00:49:35] Naeemah Elias (2): It's like, you don't actually know how much sugar you're eating because everything has sugar in it. I'll go to a restaurant and I'm just like, um, I would love to get the chicken. Um, you know, just with your, you know, your split spice blend, but question, like you go to a barbecue joint, is there sugar in your spice blend?

[00:49:53] Naeemah Elias (2): 100%. There's brown sugar in the spice blend for the chicken, right? And if you say, oh, [00:50:00] well, I just want to get some fish. Like, I just want like a healthy, like grilled fish. It's been marinated in a sauce that has sugar as its second ingredient. So even if you feel like, oh, I don't eat that much sugar intentionally, not eating candy bars and not eating Skittles doesn't mean that you don't eat sugar.

[00:50:16] Naeemah Elias (2): Sugar is intentionally infused into everything you eat. Your tomato sauce. Like, if you go look at your can of tomato sauce on the ca on your, uh, in your cabinet, it has sugar in it. So, like, even the stuff that you just wouldn't expect, like, why would you put sugar in tomato sauce? If you made it, you wouldn't put sugar in it, right?

[00:50:34] Naeemah Elias (2): And so I think if you want to have a healthier diet, if you want to stop feeling gross, And accidentally lose some pounds, right? Like I lost 60 pounds on this program and that was huge, right? Um, but the big thing for me was not the loss of weight. It was, I don't feel sick anymore. And so again, if you want to manage that feeling of sickness, going to eating foods in their natural state is going to have a huge difference, a huge impact on the way you feel.

[00:51:08] David Pasqualone: Yeah, and there's so much, I mean we can talk about so much and what just in this topic alone, I mean like you said you lost 60 pounds, that's a huge accomplishment, right? But the weight was probably secondary and it just flew off. But if you really think of the weight, that like you and I have lost and other people listening, that's poison weight.

[00:51:30] David Pasqualone: It's not like, If you're big or small, fat or thin, that doesn't matter. Cause some people, different cultures, it's just naturally, that's your shape. There's nothing wrong with that. Even though our society says there is, but there's a difference between being like, let's just say for a guy, if I'm a 300 pound man, because that's just genetically who I am and I'm eating clean foods and that's just my body.

[00:51:56] David Pasqualone: Right. Or if I got there, cause I'm eating Twinkies and Skittles. That's a real problem because you're storing, poisoning. And that's why we walk around all day and feel like trash. And like what you're talking about, if you don't know this, ladies and gentlemen, um, What Naomi is saying is so true. Sugar. If you eat an apple, that sugar is made by God.

[00:52:23] David Pasqualone: Nothing wrong with that. It's going to break down and some people still stay away from it, but it's a completely different type of sugar as the crap they put in our food supply 

[00:52:32] Naeemah Elias: and 

[00:52:32] David Pasqualone: the addiction and the, the, you know, high fructose corn syrup, things that don't even break down in the human body properly.

[00:52:39] David Pasqualone: And, uh, do you remember, I don't know if you ever saw this, I am not a guy who watches Western movies. But at some point in my life when I was a teenager, I remember watching a western movie and these guys were in a gunfight and they're in a store and they're about to die and one of the dudes flips the uh, store owner like a coin, I don't know, whatever that was, and he gave them each um, a sugar cube and they ate it and they put it in their mouth and like, uh, like that was a treat.

[00:53:13] David Pasqualone: And he mentioned something like, man, I haven't had sugar. Like, you know, they, they had sugar like once every couple months, you know, that was like a real treat. And we every day, like you have one can of soda. It's like 40 grams of sugar, right? They had one gram, one sugar cube. It just shows that that movie was made in the 50s.

[00:53:35] David Pasqualone: And by the 80s, when I watched it, there was just that drastic of a change in our society. And that's what you're talking about. So ladies and gentlemen, you know, talk to Naeemah about so many things, but the elimination diet and cleaning up your system. It's so important because we're poisoning our body.

[00:53:55] David Pasqualone: Even wheat. Like, we, I love America. I thank God for America. I'm an American. I'm so grateful to be in this country. But we've let corruption and money spoil and soil our food supply. Wheat in America is genetically modified. So even if you had, like, pure wheat, it's not pure. Um, when my daughter and I, you said you went to France, or you travel overseas, your kids are overseas.

[00:54:22] David Pasqualone: If people eat pizza and spaghetti and breads overseas, It's not really an issue. In America, you get bloated and pain. So, everything we eat and put in our mouth, we need to make sure it's as clean as possible. Now, do you have an email, uh, like a link to that diet that you, not diet, but um 

[00:54:46] Naeemah Elias (2): Yeah, yeah, the nutrition program.

[00:54:48] Naeemah Elias (2): It's called WildFit. I'll send it to you. Yeah, 

[00:54:50] David Pasqualone: I'll put that in the show notes. So, ladies, if you want to check it out, you can. And we'll put that in the show notes view and click a link and get to it. 

[00:54:58] Naeemah Elias (2): So the Mindvalley app that I [00:55:00] mentioned earlier, um, it's got WildFit. It's got the nutrition program that I did.

[00:55:03] Naeemah Elias (2): It's got all the meditations, like this app has all of these different options for physical, mental, emotional, uh, you know, transformation. And, um, so I'll send you links, uh, for both of those. Um, Links that'll get you a discount. So happy to do that. Um, David, I had this moment. Um, I'm, I'm packing for a trip and I was going to do a photo shoot.

[00:55:27] Naeemah Elias (2): And so I had to take a big suitcase with lots and lots of, um, changes of clothes along with running a retreat for three days. So I had to have business clothes. I had to have costumes, right. And you know, the weight limit for the suitcase is 50 pounds. And so I got it to like 48 and I was like, okay, 

[00:55:43] David Pasqualone: you know, this is good.

[00:55:45] Naeemah Elias (2): And I lifted the suitcase and I had this moment and I'm just like, this is really heavy. This is a really heavy suitcase. I've lost more than this weight in the last year. I was just carrying it around with me every single day, right? And like the difference that 50 pounds makes, like it just hit me in that moment when I was trying to lift it and I was just like, nah, and I grabbed one of my sons.

[00:56:10] Naeemah Elias (2): I'm like, take this downstairs for me, right? I'm like, I won't even lift it voluntarily. Like I won't choose to pick up a 50 pound bag, right? But I was choosing to walk around carrying that extra 60 pounds on me. Every day, you know, all day long. And then you talked about, you know, how it carries toxins. So, um, when you put, uh, toxins into your body, so whether it's the food that we're eating or your emotional state, right?

[00:56:37] Naeemah Elias (2): Like when you're carrying emotion, um, that stores itself in your fat. And so your fat's supposed to come on and come off, right? It's supposed to just, you know, sometimes you're bigger, like in the winter, you're supposed to be a little bit bigger in the summer. We always talk about like getting our summer body, right?

[00:56:51] Naeemah Elias (2): And that's a natural sort of. 

[00:56:53] David Pasqualone: Yeah. That's how God made it. You gain and lose as you need. And it's not no extremes. 

[00:56:58] Naeemah Elias (2): All because you were probably going to have scarcity in the winter. You weren't going to have access to it, right? So we did a little bit of packing on the pounds with the root vegetables, right?

[00:57:08] Naeemah Elias (2): When you think about what's available, the root vegetables and the fruits and all of those things, those things kind of pack more pounds onto you. And then you have that extra fat to protect you through the winter. And then in the spring, what's available is like leafy green vegetables and, uh, and, and meat, there's no fruit, there's no root vegetables.

[00:57:25] Naeemah Elias (2): None of those things would be available in nature. And so then your body is sort of taking off that fat. Well, as your body takes off that fat, the toxins are being flooded back into your system. Right. And so you are gaining, gaining, gaining over the course of years, which is what I did. Right. Um, I looked up and I realized that like, um, the last time I was under 200 pounds was.

[00:57:45] Naeemah Elias (2): Over a decade ago, right? And I was just going up and up and up every year a little bit more. And, um, and, and then all of the poisons and the toxins and all of the everything that you're putting into your body is just storing itself. And so then when you start to lose that, you have to process through your body.

[00:58:05] Naeemah Elias (2): All of the toxins that have been saved, the old energy, the old emotion, right? And like, this is a part of the process. Like when you think about losing weight, like one of the reasons it's hard is because you then have to reprocess all of the bad stuff that you stored away and, and didn't kind of process at the time.

[00:58:23] Naeemah Elias (2): So, uh, it's, it's an incredible experience. And I think once you, you know, sort of healthily get to the other side of it, um, you know, it can be extraordinary. Um, but like low end, like, you know, a glass of water a day and really making sure that you're being intentional about that and, and adding vegetables into your diet.

[00:58:41] Naeemah Elias (2): So whether it's salads, um, you know, a stir fry, that kind of thing. And thinking about like, how do you add vegetables into your diet without sugar? So, um, salad dressing, literally. tablespoon or two of olive oil and some, um, Italian seasoning, right? Like, uh, just, you know, Italian seasoning mix. Um, but don't buy a mix that has sugar in it, right?

[00:59:06] Naeemah Elias (2): Like just buy a jar of Italian seasoning spice, right? And so that's, you know, rosemary and thyme and like, you know, a little bit of garlic and some pepper, right? It's like really nice stuff. And so you put that in there and then if you need a little bit more kick, you put like a tablespoon of lemon juice.

[00:59:19] Naeemah Elias (2): So now you've got like a really yummy salad dressing. That has no sugar and no preservatives or anything. And it didn't, I didn't have to make it. I don't make it. I just put a tablespoon of, you know, this and sprinkle some of this and I have like a really great salad. So how do you increase the vegetable intake without increasing the sugar intake in your diet?

[00:59:39] David Pasqualone: Yeah, I think everything you're saying, we could talk for so long, and I'm not against it, but I want to respect your time. But listeners, like I said, uh, Naeemah has so much information she's bringing us. Reach out to her, continue the conversation, and Naeemah, we're going to jump ahead a little bit. What's the best way for people to reach you if they want to reach out your website, a social media profile?

[00:59:59] David Pasqualone: How would someone [01:00:00] continue the conversation? 

[01:00:01] Naeemah Elias (2): Absolutely. So there's two places, my website, EliasPresence. com, and we'll have that in the show notes. Um, but LinkedIn is where I spend most of my life. Um, so, you know, a lot of my clients are corporate clients. I try to come into corporations and make their cultures better.

[01:00:15] Naeemah Elias (2): I try to help people to have a better experience working within their companies. And so LinkedIn is really where I spend most of my marketing time. Um, but you can reach out to me on LinkedIn, follow me, connect to me. Reach out and then there'll be a link for, um, I'll share a link with David for a consultation.

[01:00:31] Naeemah Elias (2): So if you want to come and have a quick chat with me about some coaching, about, you know, how we can, I can work with you to navigate these things, whether it's career navigation, whether it's really sort of whole body transformation navigation. Um, a lot of times you just need an accountability party, partner, right?

[01:00:47] Naeemah Elias (2): Like, you know what you need to do. You know, you need to do it. But there's nobody saying, Hey, like I'm checking in. How's that coming? Like, we're going to have a call next week. Like, are you on track? Are you doing your homework? Um, and, and, and just for me, having an accountability partner who's checking in with me and making sure that I'm doing it means I'm more likely to do it.

[01:01:07] Naeemah Elias (2): And it's too bad that we're more likely to do stuff for somebody else than we are to do for ourselves. But if that's the step that you need to feel more intentional and more ownership about the process, then that's okay. That's okay. So that's the work that I do and, and just kind of really helping people to, to take those steps to commit to the process and to really kind of work step by step through it.

[01:01:29] Naeemah Elias (2): So yes, my website, EliasPresence. com, um, LinkedIn, Naeemah Elias, and all of that, uh, will, will be in the show notes and I'd, I'd love to hear from you and I'd love to have these conversations because it brings me joy to be able to help other people to find their spaces of joy. Um, that's, that's my calling, you know, and I, I always said, um, I'm the person behind the person, right?

[01:01:53] Naeemah Elias (2): As a kid, I was like, I don't want to be the president. I want to be the person who inspires the president, right? And so, uh, the, the, the mission for my life is, is being the person behind the person and helping you to find your greatness. 

[01:02:09] David Pasqualone: Beautiful. Now, between your birth and today, Naeemah, is there anything we missed that you want to cover or a closing thought you want to leave our audience with?

[01:02:21] David Pasqualone: Because I do have one more question for you, but is there anything we missed in your story that you're like, no, this is significant, I want to cover, I want to share this with your community? 

[01:02:31] Naeemah Elias (2): So I think the big thing is, my kids say, you know, Oh, mom, you did it all on your own. And, and I think what's really important is, is asking for help.

[01:02:41] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, you know, recognizing that we don't think we don't do things on our own. We don't achieve greatness by ourselves. Um, we have this concept in America, uh, around bootstraps, right? You're supposed to be able to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and do things on your own. But I think there are all, we're all surrounded by people who want to see us achieve our better selves and have the best life.

[01:03:01] Naeemah Elias (2): And if you reject the help of the people around you, then you're limiting the possibility for your life. And so learning to ask for help, right? Like when I was going through my divorce, I called my mom and I was like, I can't do this without you. Right. And she came and she helped me with the kids. Right.

[01:03:18] Naeemah Elias (2): When I was in my moment where, um, where it was time for my life to end. Right? Like, it was time. I reached out to my sister, and she and I had, uh, some really important heart to hearts that kind of helped me to choose life. Right? I needed her support to choose life in that moment, right? Um, and at various different points in our lives, we need a lifeline.

[01:03:40] Naeemah Elias (2): We need somebody to help us to choose our greatness and not to give up. And so learning to lean into that, learning to ask for that help when you need it, learning to say, I'm not, I'm not okay. I can't do this by myself is the most powerful thing that you can learn and then finding the people in your life who are going to help you to achieve that greatness is the next most important step.

[01:04:03] Naeemah Elias (2): And that 

[01:04:06] David Pasqualone: tied right into my last question. We started the episode about talking, about talking, talking about overcoming obstacles. 

[01:04:14] Naeemah Elias: And 

[01:04:15] David Pasqualone: you just summarize it perfectly because what you said, those are the steps to overcome obstacles in our life. Now, sometimes the obstacles are mental. Sometimes they're emotional.

[01:04:27] David Pasqualone: Sometimes they're physical. Sometimes they're financial, you know, but it's like a house. It doesn't matter if you build a shed or a house or a mansion, the engineering basics of construction are all the same. You lay the foundation, you build the frame and you work in it, you know, To That Pattern. So, when you have seen your life's success and finding that joy and experiencing it and sharing it.

[01:04:53] David Pasqualone: What do you think the foundational steps are in order for our listeners to take to overcome an [01:05:00] obstacle in their life? 

[01:05:02] Naeemah Elias (2): So when you start to feel like something is not what it's supposed to be, whether, um, if you go to work every single day and you're dreading, You go to bed dreading that you have to get up to go to work the next morning.

[01:05:14] Naeemah Elias (2): Um, or if you have a person in your life and every time you interact with them, you feel like your body tightens up, like you're clenching, like you're, um, you are building walls to protect yourself, right? Acknowledging that that is an indication that your life requires change, right? The acknowledgement is the first really important step.

[01:05:34] Naeemah Elias (2): The next step, I think, is following it through, right? Thinking about, like, where can I go? What are my options? What can I do? And that option might be thinking about other jobs. The option might be, um, getting, uh, another degree or taking a certification or a class. Uh, it may be, um, you know, going, it could be going back to school.

[01:05:58] Naeemah Elias (2): It could be, uh, you know, any number of things, right? But like, what are the possibilities? And really kind of thinking through those and figuring out like, what's real? Like, what can I actually do? Follow all the way through to the outcome. Where do I want to be? Right? What is the space where I will be sitting in my joy?

[01:06:17] Naeemah Elias (2): The thing that will be bring me the most happiness. And, you know, I used to hear the question, um, you know, if you could do, um, If you could do whatever you wanted for the rest of your life and you weren't getting paid for it, how would you spend your time? And I thought about that while I was working at State Street.

[01:06:36] Naeemah Elias (2): The training and development that I was doing, I was doing on the side. I wasn't paid for that. So I was doing this for free every single day. And I'm like, Oh, I know, I know what I would do for free. So now how do I, you know, sort of create revenue for that? So, um, identifying the feeling. Understanding where the challenge comes from, thinking about the possibilities, going sort of further out and saying, like, what is the outcome that I desire?

[01:07:04] Naeemah Elias (2): And then what are the potential paths to that outcome? It's not just one, there's multiple possible paths. And then figuring out who can help you. A lot of times, You, you'll tell somebody, you know, Oh, like, I want to change. I want to have a different experience. I want to go get a new job, or I'm going to go do this, or I'm going to go do that.

[01:07:24] Naeemah Elias (2): And a lot of people in your life are just like, you know, why, like, what, you think you're better than us? Or like, why do you feel like you need to change? Or you're not going to be able to do that, right? Like there are people in our lives who are just like, just be happy with what you have. Right? That's not the person who's going to help you to transcend, right?

[01:07:40] Naeemah Elias (2): So finding the people in your life who are going to support and encourage you because change is hard. And you need that support, you need that encouragement in order to effectively move forward with it. And so finding those accountability partners, finding those support people who are going to encourage you and really help you to move forward.

[01:08:00] Naeemah Elias (2): So those are sort of the planning steps. And then it's commitment. Then it's commitment, right? Because from the moment that you decide that a change is necessary in your life to the moment that you get to your ultimate place may take six months or it may take four years, right? And so being able to commit to the process and really stick with it and go step by step by step until you get to your outcome, remind yourself of that outcome, put it on a board in front of you, um, create a, a picture of yourself in this new situation and put it somewhere that you can see.

[01:08:34] Naeemah Elias (2): See. Keep. Looking. At. That. Goal. Keep. Remembering. The. Steps. Write. The. Steps. Down. Make. Those. Visible. And. Be. Intentional. About. Incremental. Progress. Right. Whether. It's. Every. Day. Or. Every. Week. Really. Carving. Out. Time. This. Is. The. Thing. That. I. Tell. My. Son. We're. Working. On. College. Applications. And. I'm. Like. I.

[01:08:52] Naeemah Elias (2): Need. You. To. Actually. Put. In. Your. Schedule. Time. To. Work. On. Your. Essays. Don't just get to it when you get to it, because video games are more important, right? Block that time and make that incremental progress to get to the place that you want to be. And you have to prioritize it. You have to prioritize it.

[01:09:10] Naeemah Elias (2): You have to carve out time for it. The dishes may be in the sink and you may have to leave the dishes in the sink for this hour while you focus on doing this piece towards moving towards your place of vision. 

[01:09:23] David Pasqualone: That's amazing advice and that's not why I'm laughing for those of you watching. I could hear the inflection in your voice when you said, that's okay for this hour.

[01:09:32] David Pasqualone: That mom voice came out like, you are gonna clean my sink. You're not leaving that crap there. I don't care if you're going to college or not. That was in your heart. Am I lying or am I, did I catch that? Absolutely. You're like, your priorities need to be done, but mine do. That's awesome. That's awesome.

[01:09:51] David Pasqualone: That's real, right? All right. Well, Naeemah, it's been a true honor to have you on the show today. Ladies and gentlemen, uh, reach out. You can check [01:10:00] out everything in the show notes, whether you're looking, listening through Apple, Spotify, any kind of podcast player around the world. If you're on a website, if you're on a Rumble.

[01:10:11] David Pasqualone: You just check out the show notes, click a link, and you're there. Naeemah, it's been a true honor. Again, any final thoughts before we wrap this episode up today? 

[01:10:21] Naeemah Elias (2): This has been a pleasure and you know, I enjoyed having the conversation. I think, um, it's, it's hard leaning into hard things. Right. And I think, you know, we've, we've all had challenges.

[01:10:29] Naeemah Elias (2): It's important to recognize that everybody that you see, um, no matter how famous, no matter how wealthy we've all had challenges and so accepting that, you know, nobody's life is easy. And we're, you know, we're all kind of working our way through something to find greatness. And, and that is your purpose.

[01:10:47] Naeemah Elias (2): Your purpose is to find your greatness. 

[01:10:50] David Pasqualone: Beautiful, beautiful. Well, ladies and gentlemen, like our slogan says, don't just listen to this great content Naeemah brought you. Do it each day, repeat it over and over again, the good parts, so you can have a great life in this world, but more importantly, in this world.

[01:11:09] David Pasqualone: So, I'm David Pasqualone. This is our remarkable friend, Naeemah. Naeemah, thank you again for being here today. 

[01:11:17] Naeemah Elias (2): Thanks for having me, 

[01:11:17] David Pasqualone: David. Absolutely. Ladies and gentlemen, share this with your family and friends. We want to reach as many people as we can to help them, and we will see you in the next episode.

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