Lisa Goodpaster | Hope and Recovery after Intense Childhood Abuse, Parental Alienation, & Trauma

“We remember what we feel.” – Lisa Goodpaster

EPISODE OVERVIEW:

Have you heard the one about the young girl with a wicked stepmom that makes Cinderella’s look good? You know, the one where the child was alienated by her stepparent literally running an evil playbook she wrote to hurt the young girl and and made people think (even the girls own father) horrible things about her that weren’t even close to true.  And as you’ll sadly see, we’re talking about all sorts of nasty, disgusting circumstances that this twisted woman put this young girl through for YEARS.

If you’re a child of abuse, today’s guest is here to help you. She is going to talk to us about how there’s hope after going through intense childhood trauma, how it’s not the end of the world, and that you can recover and thrive in life. She’s going to take us through her painful journey, not just of her childhood, but how this evil grooming played into a dysfunctional adulthood. The good news? She’s not only going to show us how she healed even though the trauma was intense and off the charts crazy, but how you too can overcome childhood molestation, alienation, adultery in your marriage, people stealing from you, and so much more. This is a riveting story of victory and hope. So get your pens and paper ready, your favorite beverage, and check out this Remarkable episode of the podcast now, the Lisa Goodpaster story!

GUEST BIO: 

Lisa was alienated from her mother by her stepmother for forty years. Her story is the most documented case of child alienation in the world. Her ability to connect and help others understand the dangers of not co parenting and the connection to parental alienation is creating a positive movement forward to help create change while clearing the path for other survivors to come forward.

GUEST CONTACT INFO:

• Website: https://www.stephoodproject.org/
• Instagram: Lisa.Goodpaster
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lisa.goodpaster
• TicTok: lisaleanosgoodpas

Transcript

A stepmom that makes Cinderellas look good. Ketamine stealing puppies and alienation all this and more right now.

Hello, my Remarkable friend. Welcome to this episode of the podcast. Today we have an episode that is really hard to listen to, not because our guest isn't Remarkable or wonderful, but because the trauma that she endured and [00:01:00] talks about was so severe and twisted. It's just difficult as. Moral person to take in.

So the explicit warning today is for content and it's for some of the comments I make, not the guest. We are going to talk about how this individual was groomed by her stepparent. To believe horrible things about her mother that weren't true herself. And as you'll see all sorts of nasty, disgusting circumstances.

She's going to talk to us today about how there's hope that when you go through this, it's not the end and that you can recover. So today's guest is going to take us through her journey. And she's going to show us how, even though this was traumatic, and even though this is off the charts crazy what happened to her in so many ways.[00:02:00] 

You can overcome childhood molestation. You can overcome alienation. You can overcome adultery in your marriage. You can overcome having people steal from you. There's all sorts of knowledge and at the same time, it's a riveting story. So get your pens and paper. Get your favorite cup of coffee or cigar, and check out this episode of the podcast now, the Lisa Goodpaster story!

INTERVIEW: Lisa Goodpaster | Hope and Recovery after Intense Childhood Abuse, Alienation, & Trauma

Hey Lisa, how are you today? I'm great. How are you man? I am fantastic. And I was just telling our listeners a little bit about you and what to expect in this episode.

But before we get started with your journey, if you were to talk to the listeners, and you're going to guarantee them that obviously they're going to get gold all along the way through your life story and things that they cannot only be entertained with, but they can apply to their lives and better themselves.

But if they were to [00:03:00] walk away with one message that if they listen to this entire episode, what is that message going to be that you guarantee they're going to get.

You are not what happened to you. You are not your traumas. You are not the dark things that come into our life and kind of mess with our mind and our body. That every single human that suffers there is a, a way through so that you can live a more fulfilling whole life. All right. Amen. So, Lynn, let's do this now as a listener, you know, a huge life lesson that most of us need, right?

Mm-hmm. Luis is going to take us through her life from her birth. Her upbringing, the good, the bad, the ugly. Everything in between will go through her teen, her adolescence, her adulthood to today. And then at the end of the episode, we'll not [00:04:00] just hear her story where she's been, but we'll transition to where is she today and where is she going.

So now we can get behind her and connect and continue the conversation. So Lisa, let's talk about your origin story. Where were you born? Brothers, sisters, mom, dads, aunts, uncles. Where were you at and what was life like? I was born in Silicon Valley, Santa Bay, California. And I, both my parents legally immigrated here from two different countries.

And they met, had me, got divorced. And my mom is both my parents. My mom is Latina, my dad is from Central America. So big family. And I was a latchkey kid. I thought my parents just had a bad divorce and I was one of those kids who just thought my parents divorced and it [00:05:00] was a lot worse than divorce.

And what happened to me is happening the millions of kids right now. So. And then when you say that, were there any brothers or sisters? You were an only child? No. So I'm the only child between my mom and dad, but I do have a brother with my mom and my stepdad. And I have two siblings as well with my dad and stepmom, but they're half technically, but they're like hold of me.

So yeah, I'm the oldest. I'm the oldest. Okay. And then when did your mom and dad get divorced? How old were you at that point? I was four. Okay. I was four years old. And then both my parents got remarried when I was around seven. Okay. So those fundamental, you know, they say the first day, but no study after study shown that the first five years is pretty impactful for creating us and our foundation of who we are.

That doesn't mean we can't change, but it's super in, you know, super non-negotiable. Yes. Yeah. I mean, it really helps [00:06:00] form who we, how we think in our worldview. So if your first four years I take it, then your mom and dad were probably, you know, arguing not in a good place, it wasn't a Brady Bunch kind of marriage.

Right. You know, I don't, I don't remember my parents together. I don't have any memories. I have very little pictures. I remember the divorce, I remember the separation that moving from a house to like an apartment. Not seeing my dad regularly. I remember Always looking out, you know, where my dad was at, or when you, when you grow up that way, your, your foundation is like shattered and this is why it's so important.

And, and we'll get into it later. But yeah, my parents divorced when I was four and you know, like most kids from that are four. It, it, it's very confusing. It's very confusing [00:07:00] and a lot of things go on for kids especially in this very like sacred time because that's when your, your child's body and brain is growing rapidly.

Yeah. And then so when this happened, you get divorced and you mentioned being a latchkey kid, and I always associate that with a teenager or an older kid, but at what point were you getting home from school and just going to the house by yourself? Gosh, I would say sixth, sixth grade, sixth, seventh grade.

And that was that was bad. That, that, we can get into that to get into that scene. But that was when I went to live with my dad and that's when all kinds of crazy went on for me as a child. Yeah, I can imagine. So, yeah, let's just bring us through. So you're, you're born, your mom and your dad [00:08:00] get together around four, they divorced.

Then you go into an apartment, you're not seeing your dad much. So just bring us through your journey. Yeah. So, you know, it's typical. You have you know, one parent is super strict, the other parent is like Disneyland. You know, you're always kind of caught in between Lisa has to do this, or No, let's let, I want Lisa to have fun.

So there was always, my parents both had the same goals, just completely different methods. And so when your parents divorced, like for me it was like, just I wanted to, I wanted to be with my dad. So at about seven between the ages of seven and 13, I went to live with my dad. It was only supposed to be for a week.

Probably every parent that's listening that knows, oh, I've, can I go lose? Can I go stay with my dad for a week? My mom needed some, her car was broken and it needed work. And my dad was like, let her come with me. And I was like, yay. [00:09:00] Just couldn't wait to jump in that car, grab whatever I could. And my soon-to-be stepmom was sitting in the front seat and I jumped in the back.

And I'll never forget, she's like, we just dropped you off. Why are you coming back? And I'm went, I'm going to stay with you guys for a week or two weeks. And it turned into almost seven years. So seven, eight, and yes. What caused that time? Did you decide, I don't wanna see mom? Was it your dad's like, no, you're staying here?

Like, how did that all transpire? So from, I guess the way I remembered it, it was like I did not wanna be around my mom as soon as I was with my dad. Cuz I was a little kid. I didn't, there were. I guess my dad didn't have the same type of rules as my mom, and it didn't, it took like about two weeks. I did not wanna go back.

And the longer I stayed [00:10:00] away from my mom, the harder it was for me to actually even wanna be around her. And so, for your audience that's listening, I spent more time with my stepmom between the ages of seven and 13 than I did with either of my parents, so. Oh, okay. Yeah. So when we talk about co-parenting and everyone knows how messy it could be, when parents don't get along, my stepmom.

God I was, is very ill. And the only way she could accept me was this. She turned me into an evil stepchild. And because I was so close to my dad, it was, I had an insecure attachment. Basically. I felt like I had to protect my dad. So, [00:11:00] and my stepmom was very jealous of my relationship with my dad. And instead of you know, supporting both my parents and it's like, say she should be with her mom because I don't really like kids.

I don't, she's not my responsibility. She pretended to tear cuz kids don't know. And that's when the brainwashing started to happen was when I was. Eight, nine years old. And my stepmom wrote a kind of a, a story that started at my birth. So when you're growing, basically your brain is like brand new, right?

So it's like you're building a foundation. So this is why it's so important that kids see both parents. So when I didn't see my mom and all I would hear was the bad things that my mom was doing or complaining, it started to sink in [00:12:00] my head that I had a bad mom. And really what happened was my stepmom wrote my entire life story to suit her needs.

So for example like my mom, apparently when I was born my mom lost a lot of blood and needed a blood transfusion. That was normal back in those days. Well, My stepmom wrote, Lisa was so evil, she almost killed her mom coming out of her, you know, body. Like I, my mom gave birth to an evil baby. Hmm. So she completely, it disintegrated any aspect of a loving mother and daughter relationship.

So between seven and 13, there was a lot of bad things that happened. It wasn't just divorced, there was molestation. [00:13:00] There was it was hell looking now molestation from your father, from your stepmom, from neighbors. Three. Three, three different men. Three different men. One was a cousin that was from New Orleans on my dad's side.

Another was my dad's friend from work, and the other one was my stepmom's father. All in, all in front, not in front of, well, there were times when the one of 'em my, I guess he would be my step-grandfather would get really touchy feely and drunk. And one time my stepmom said, I don't like the way my dad's looking at you when he's drinking.

Stay away from him. Not telling my mom, not telling my dad, you know, here's this, you know, here's me. Now I don't see my mom. My dad's always working. I'm with [00:14:00] a woman who's 10 years younger than my dad. So, which is only like, you know, if I'm seven, I mean, she was about, she was 26, so 26, 27, 28, she was doing whatever she wanted to do to make sure that I was scared.

I felt that that I had a bad perception of myself and my parents. It's really, this is a, when people read what I had to read, another psychologist have said it was like she wanted to turn me into a psychopath. So when I say psychopaths, things, psychopaths do is one, they play, they have a fascination with fire, right?

They like to mutilate animals. They they kill, they have they're off. We all, we know this. We have, there's psychopaths. Sociopaths. [00:15:00] Well, she definitely fits the mold because when you steady, when people have studied what was rewritten and what I had to read and what changed my perception of my mom, it was very clear everything that she wrote about me, like trying to Burn my brother and sister alive.

I kill my mom in this story, in her narrative and my stepdad. It's disgusting. It's pure evil. Pure evil. Mm-hmm. And the fact that I grew up to prove it is pretty crazy. But when you're with someone for so long and you're entrusted, your parents leave you with this person, you don't know any different, you know it's wrong.

And when they tell you, you know, if you say [00:16:00] something, you're going to get in trouble. So going back to the molestations yeah, those all three men that violated me all died pretty significant deaths before I turned. I including her father. Good. I hate to say that people like be forgiving, like scare you.

Listen, he was Catholic. Do things. Yeah. That's good for them. Yeah, they deserved it and they got a face eternity with God or without God. So pedophiles, rapist, you know, people who don't file things like that. I mean, God loves him, but if they're on this earth, the, the rate of actual, what's the word?

Rehabilitation is like almost nothing. And even if you forgive them, the people I've met that actually I believe did have a change of heart. They said, I belong in here. I don't belong outside of this prison because I could change and I'm going to ruin another child. So it's like, anyways, going back, I'm truly sorry you had all that happen, Lisa and [00:17:00] now.

When you used the term, she wrote this. Did she, you're not saying she physically wrote a script, but there was a script she was playing in your head. She, she typed it out, wrote it like, oh, she physically, oh yeah. It's in my book and we'll talk about it later, but yeah. I, I even have it here. Yeah, it is.

There's notes all over it and it's, it is I don't even know how many times I read it, but I do know that on one of the back of the pages I wrote, hi. Did she make you read it or is this saying when you got old or you decided to read, sent things? She left it out where I could find it, and she said things that were directly from it.

So did she make me read it? She didn't force me to read it, but she never told me that it was all made up. [00:18:00] Like she literally rewrote the script. And when you talk about how people actually believe the lies that they write, that's exactly what happened. Exactly. And I don't want to get ahead of myself and you're get ahead of you and your story, but it sounds like she was probably twisted and damaged by her father, your step-grandfather.

I mean, you, you would think, right? Yes. You would think. And her, she idolized her father, which is really freaky, which is really sick. But she didn't have a good childhood. That still doesn't excuse what she did. This is why it's, this is so important to, to, to talk about because when we, we have a very little time to, you know, raise our kids and when we don't know how the body and brain work and how.

Wow time and, and what's [00:19:00] really going on for our kids when we are detached from that. As parents, when you're going through a divorce and you are not present, your kids suffer at such a significant rate. They don't realize it cuz we grow up thinking it's normal and it's not. So the one good thing that she was stupid enough to do was kept this script that she wrote while she was a mother, by the way, while she was raising her own kids.

She wrote this and she writes about her own kids being molested and hurt. That's a different, that's a, that's a different type of human because the mother, there's no parent would ever, we don't even wanna think about something like happening to our kids. It's like you know, but to actually write that type it, I mean, it's, it's Yeah, it's definitely [00:20:00] once she had issues studied by a lot of people, huh?

Yeah. What's that? Yeah, she has, she has definite issues. That's Oh, oh, yeah. And it took a long, this is what's so crazy about my, I wouldn't say crazy, but just fascinating about my story is that it took 40 years to uncover this. So when you are seven to 13, right? So I was peeing in my pants. Let's see, at about third grade, I was peeing in my pants, and that's when the molestations were probably one of the worst one.

Because it happened, I, I wanna say at least three to 6, 3, 3 months at least where I was being violated. And, and just th this is no, no parent would want their child to have to go through this. However, what's really, what's really interesting is that. She knew cuz she was [00:21:00] watching me while, I won't say his name, but the, one of the bad men, he was upstairs in the, we had my bedroom was upstairs and so was his.

And so she was watching me the whole time. And there's just like Hughes and things that she would, she would make funny sounds or like if I did anything positive, she would like, have to push, have to like, put me down, you know, like, oh, Lisa, you're going to play soccer, you're going to get fat legs. I don't have fat legs.

Like, so she whatever, whatever, whatever thing, anything that I was natural at. I look a lot with my dad and my mom. She couldn't stand that. So there was so much that and it was, it was permitted like I was going to ask you about that. Like your father, did he have a good relationship with her? Did he just, was he [00:22:00] always going to work?

Did he just tolerate it? What was his, oh man. My dad is like, you know, his dad, dad, his dad died when he was four, came from another country. So my dad, the country Uhhuh, he came from Honduras. Okay. Honduras actually, he went straight into the army. He came from another country, went into the army. He, he was 18 years old.

He met my mom when, when he was, I don't know, in their twenties. And you know, he was really attached to me because I was his only family other than my mom and my, my mom's side of the family, because his family was in New Orleans or, and in Honduras and Miami. So when my dad went through the divorce, it was really traumatic for him.

I mean, that's all he talked about. Like he would. Call me in the morning at night. I mean, he wanted to know, I love you. I am here for you no matter what. [00:23:00] But that would kind of get my mom fired up because every time she was trying to like get me to do homework, my dad would call. And so it was like a lot of like co-parenting, like just mishaps or I'm sure this happens.

So when my stepmom got into the picture, my stepmom was very, very critical. So, and this is what parents do or their significant others do. And my dad would just let my stepmom talk and he really wouldn't say anything, but I could tell he would like put his head down or he would just like ignore her.

And I would look at my dad like, aren't you going to say something? You're a little kid. You're watching this. And so. You know, I think my dad was trying to protect me. Like this isn't, he didn't wanna have arguments in front of her, but I guess he's one of those dads that put his head in the [00:24:00] sand because when you have other kids with, you know, he had other kids with her and now you have two little kids that are depending on him.

So then what happens to the, the older one, the one that came from divorce, we become the scapegoat, the latch, the, you know, the, the black sheep apparently. And so I always just felt bad for my dad. I felt sorry for him. My dad would tell me like our only time we had alone was the 20 minutes he took me to drive me to and from school.

That was the only time I really had time alone with them. Like she controlled everything. And you see it even nowadays too, it's like men can't real, they don't, they don't know how to protect their kids. Like, you know, what do you do? So when you see this growing up and you are around so much dysfunction, and you see adults [00:25:00] just fail and not protect you every corner, it is terrible.

And this is what every parent, and this is what happened to me, is kids from divorce, we don't realize because we've normalized divorce kids from divorce that are not with their parents and that go through trauma, whether it's molestation, bullying, what the definition of trauma is, anything that overwhelms the mind.

Right. So there's a lot of things that go on for a little kid between seven and 13. And when we have to process that trauma alone, and that's what kids from divorce do, because we shut down, we don't wanna say that that man hurt me because he just said he is going to kick your butt. Dad, you know, we shut down so that, that sustained trauma.

So ages seven to 13 was sustained trauma. The first seven years of my life were [00:26:00] crucial. Thank God I'm Latina. Cause I always joke like, you can't alienate a Latina. Why? Cuz there's too many of us, you know? So thank God for grandparents and aunts and uncles. It doesn't take place of your parents. But by the time I was 13, I wasn't, I went from straight fear, like where you pee in your parents to angry, just angry, 13, 14, like.

Complete utter. Like you hear, teenagers are always rebellious, but when you, when you have a teenager that has gone through trauma, doesn't even realize it's trauma, you become so protective over yourself. Everything in your life is about survival and you don't even realize it. You're just growing up, you don't know.

So it's, it's it was really, really hard to [00:27:00] you don't get your life, you're, you're just, you're basically like, it's like abuse hidden in plain sight. Yeah. Yeah. I can't, it's hard to even. Listen to your story because it's like a bad horror movie. It's just twisted. I don't mean that in offensive in any way.

Right. But like, as a dad who loves his children, it's like, right, I can see in your face. Yeah. Yeah. It makes me feel like super angry and sick, and I can actually feel my brain wanting to shut down. I'm a grown man who I consider myself reasonably healthy. So, for you to process this as a child and some psychos raising you, writing a script that's just perverse and twisted?

Yeah. It's, it's amazing that we're sitting, yeah. I just suppressed it. I would just take it, it's like backwards, like, like literally like Cinderella, except I didn't have the, the, [00:28:00] you know, the mice and the fairy godmother. I had aunts and uncles and cousins that nobody, everybody knew that she. She wasn't very happy about me, but she played, she played her part very well.

She controlled everything. Now, go. Now, the, the three men that harmed you directly, you said they all died separately different ways badly, like, yeah. Mm-hmm. So you, did you just hear about this or were you in constant contact with them even after? So the first the one that, the one that I talked about earlier that was staying with us at, with my dad and my stepmom, he was a relative my dad's nephew he ended up taking off.

He, we had doberman pictures, like there was a bunch of puppies that were born and he stole a bunch of 'em. And I remember all this chaos [00:29:00] going on around the house. And he took the puppies and like, what, what happened? And they said, His name, he left and he stole the puppies. And all I thought was those poor puppies, what is he going to do to the puppies?

But keeping it on the inside, right? And when you when you understand like what I read, whereas like she had me hurting puppies, she wanted me to mutilate animals. And so it, it was really hard to like, feel empathy and fear for these puppies. And at the same time know that this person wanted me to thought so bad of me that I, I would never have a puppy because you just kill it, Lisa.

So it, it was like, it's very oppressive. It was a very oppressive way to grow up. And I didn't, [00:30:00] I didn't know, I didn't know any different because I was so young, but I knew it was wrong. And so I just did what I had to do to, to, you know, to tolerate it. But by the time I was 13, 14, I started to fight back.

I started to speak up. I started to get angry and get in trouble. And one night I'll never forget it, I saw my dad take dark ba garbage bags you know, like the, the black ones. Mm-hmm. And he, all of my clothes, like all of my clothes, he was just putting in the car, all of my stuff. And all I had was clothes, by the way, too.

And because in the, in the years that I lived with them, between seven and 13, they had bought their dream house. Their dream house. I didn't have my own. I, I had my own room, but it [00:31:00] couldn't be decorated. It was like I was always on probation. There's the daughter that is, hi. She's got all these issues because her parents are divorced.

So she was controlling everything. So at about when my dad went to take me to drop me off at my mom's, who by now I hadn't seen very much in five years, but I thought I had the worst mom in the world because I had read and I was told that my mom didn't change my diapers. My mom wouldn't feed me when I was little.

All kinds of horrible things. So you dropped me off at my mom's and I'm like, I don't want anything to do with you. Like, I can't, I couldn't even look at my mom. So either, whether I was at my mom's house or my dad's, I was never safe. I never felt secure with either of my parents. Hmm. Yeah. So what about, I'm typing notes, but [00:32:00] when all this is going on, At what age, and I do, this is not important, but circle back to the guy who raped you and stole the puppies.

How did he die? Okay, so he ended up getting hit by a car. He, he first he was in a wheelchair. Then he got into drugs and he died. Okay. So it couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Mm-hmm. And you said the other two also died by the time you were 15? Yeah. And then the, the, the second guy to violate me was in the swimming pool at my dad's house.

And it was so awkward and uncomfortable because, you know, you're just like, I think I had to be like 11. Your body, you know, you're just a little kid. And I remember him touching me in the water. It was really funny. And he, not funny. It was horrible. It was freaky. And it was, there were people everywhere, like, you know, just.[00:33:00] 

Adults everywhere. And this man has me in the hot tub in the, cuz there's a pool in a hot tub. And I kept jumping in from one and from one, you know, jumping in from the pool to the hot tub, you know, get hot. Then it would get cold. And he somehow got ahold of me and was doing things to me under the water.

And when he said, if you say anything, I will kick your dad's ass. And I'm, you gotta realize, like, the way that I grew up, it was like my dad was the only person that loved me. My mom didn't, that's what my stepmom had me believe. So of course I didn't say anything. So that guy, he is a sick, he had a son who actually drowned in the pool like within a year later.

And then he died of some massive heart attack, something bad happened. And then by the time I was 15 This is, this is so bizarre. But my dad at the [00:34:00] time was having surgery. He had some prostate thing that was not cancerous, but he still had to be hospitalized. I remember just being super scared.

Like, so scared. I'm upstairs alone. My dad's in the hospital. I don't know if my dad's going to live. Cuz you know, you're, you're a kid so you, you're, it's very scary. And I remember going to the hospital with my stepmom, hearing the doctors, and I'm just like, wanna know, is my dad going to live? Is he okay? And we went and we saw my dad and then we went, I went with my stepmom to pick up my brother and sister at her mom's.

And I saw a bunch of people there and they were kind of talking in Spanish. And I'll never forget this. And I go, what, what happened? And she turned and she looked at me like, Like this, like, quit. I go, what happened? What happened? And she goes, my dad died. [00:35:00] And I laughed. I busted out and laughed like, like, like you're almost in a comedy, like laughed.

And I couldn't believe I laughed and I like ran to the bushes because I had step cousins that I'm really close to. And I, I, you know, that was their grandpa. And I was like, it was just so bizarre that I laughed and I found out later in life that was relief. Oh yeah, absolutely. That's relief. But I didn't know that as a, right.

So then you're feeling bad. You go bad enough, you end up going, you're, you go to Catholic school the first like, you know, six years of school and you, you know, and then your, you know that your dad was saved because your stepmom said, my dad died so that your dad could live. And I'm like, yeah, but he got de he got deit.

And my my stepmom did not tell my dad cuz he was in the hospital. But I, I remember not like, where was my mom? You know, this was so much [00:36:00] the mother me because I'm, you know, my son's 30 now, but I gotta tell you, it, it was, that was like, I'll never forget that. It was like I tugged on her like arm or something, like what happened?

And then everybody was crying and I was just like, I was glad cuz I knew he was, he was going to get my sister and she was just a little girl. She was only like, not even three. Yeah. And, and what you had to endure was just terrible and, and how it was set up, an orchestrate was horrible. But then there's also this, hey, three scumbags, you reap what you sow.

They all got what they deserved, but I know there's people listening now who've also been molested and raped or had these horrible things happen, and their molesters are still living large and alive. You know, the, the Jeffrey Epstein's, you know, and the Joe Biden's and all these people who commit ha horrible crimes, and they just seem to get away with it.

So, you know, I don't wanna be insensitive to those people, but at the end, [00:37:00] God will always take care of his children, and the people who committed these atrocities will be judged and they will not get away with it. But I thank you for being so honest and transparent and brave, and I'm just, it's hard to talk about this, so thank you, Lisa.

No, I think it, it, it helped that it, it helped in one sense that. They're no longer here. But it didn't help with, I still needed, I, I still had to tell my parents. I did tell my parents, and I remember telling, telling my dad, and he was like, what do you want me to about my father? Well, his father-in-law, and I remember saying, this is what he did to me and my dad.

I was like, what do you want me to do? He's dead. Like, dig him up and make sure it was like 14 by 14 and 15. There was, I was my parents had no they didn't have any influence over me because, and they didn't know what, what, what, what had happened. They didn't know. [00:38:00] That doesn't come out to, you know, we'll, we'll talk about that later, but yeah, my, that was just, you know, from, there's all kinds of crazy stuff that I try to touch on, but when.

When, by the time I was 13 and 14, your lack of innocence is gone. Mm-hmm. And you don't, you don't even know what that is because it, you haven't been in the world long enough. But when you're a teen, it really feels like, you really feel like you, you know what you're talking about, and, and you don't because you're missing the life experience.

So it, it's it is very preventable. This stuff is, is preventable. We have to watch our kids, but yeah, it sucks. Yeah. So where do you go from there? So now you, you got, you, you love your dad. You don't realize it, but you, you know, you love your mom. She has nothing really wrong. The stepmom's just absolutely fill in your brain with lies.

You got [00:39:00] hard circumstances. You got three people now have, you know, that molested you or now dead, thankfully. Where does your life go from there, Lisa? So then I'm, I, I go to go to live with my mom, and I hadn't lived with her since I was seven, so I'm now like 14. And, and would you talk to her or see her for holidays or just no contact?

I would see her, but I, it was like every so often it wasn't consistent and I really wanted to see, I would see my grandparents and my aunts and pets more than I would my mom until I was about 14. And then all I did was run away. I would run away. I would run away like my stepdad would, I would catch 'em like always writing science, like, you know, missing.

I was always running away. And they couldn't figure out why. And of course my [00:40:00] stepmom and my dad and my mom. They wanted to have this meeting cuz Lisa's Lisa is now being dramatic and we need counseling. And that was my stepmom's idea, right? So there I am at the table watching my mom, my dad, my stepmom, and my stepdad all sit there and talk about me not knowing what had actually happened to me.

And I'm watching my stepmom orchestrate everything. And internally I'm thinking, why are they letting this person have so much access to my life at 13? I'm going to let my dog. So that's, that was, that was a, a real important memory for me cuz I just remember feeling so like, it's like having your rapist right there.

Constantly just hovering [00:41:00] over you and ended up going to counseling. And that never worked because you know, they, they just, they wanna put you on a disciplinarian plan. They wanna know, they don't wanna know, well, why are you acting like this? I kept thinking it was the divorce and yeah, it was a divorce.

I was, my parents were divorced, but yo, something really wrong was happening. And it was I was being brainwashed and abused and discarded so that someone like my stepmom can feel comfortable. And my dad knew that she was jealous of me. And it's like jealousy is a very it is a human thing. But this is beyond jealousy.

This is not Oh, yeah. The level of psychosis to bring you right to a counselor. I mean, she must have been a maniacal, like, I don't wanna say [00:42:00] maniacal genius, but she was diabolical and maniacal and absolute, a strategist to be able to say, oh, I'm smarter than all these people and I'm going to lead them and be the puppet master, and I'm going to BS this you know, counselor.

So they think that lease is the problem and it's not me. I mean, that's just pure ass evil. Right. And a lot of, and, and I mean, I'll, I'll, I'll share more as we get towards like, you know how this all unfolds. Yeah, yeah. Keep going, keep going. Yeah. So you're, you know, so then you're 15 six by 16, that's when I had the insight to surround myself with really good friends and most of their, most of my friends families were intact.

Or they had parents that seemed to care at least more than, you know, What I had at home. And I met [00:43:00] my son's dad in high school and I kind of just became his girlfriend and just hid all the stuff that I couldn't explain and that, that I hated. I just pushed down. Cuz that's what, that's what we do when, when we suppress to survive.

So it's like when you're going through it as a kid, you're enduring it, right? You're just, you're, you're enduring it. You don't know any different cuz you don't, you, you didn't like take a class like this isn't supposed to happen to you and if this does, this is what you should do. This was this was so bad.

I just, I figured my dad was the only person that really loved me and my mom doesn't so, I have to rebel and I didn't wanna be like any of my parents. And so I couch surfed. I stayed at [00:44:00] friend's house during the school week by the time I was 16, by the time I was 17, I had my own car. And so I kind of just flip flopped like everywhere.

And I just, I never wanted to be around my mom or my dad and I, I just survived. I just did whatever I had to do. I didn't do drugs. I was I didn't want, I didn't wanna give my stepmom any, any more of my life, even though I couldn't explain it. I had to pretend like I liked her. Like, it's, it's called Stockholm Syndrome.

And like when you're a kid, you're, you're just. You just, you kind of watch how your parents are, and then you either mimic what they're doing or you rebel. And when you [00:45:00] rebel, like I did it. I mean, sure it's good to rebel, but it, it's like, it's like you're kind of, you rebel to protect yourself, but everything internally, you're suffering so much on the inside.

This is why people numb themselves, right? Because it hurts and you can't explain it. So I was always trying to tell my parents, I was always trying to like explain, I'm not like this, like my parents would see me in traumatic situations or like, okay, she ran away. Let's go pick her up. Or it was never like, I'm going to go see Lisa score a, a goal.

Like back before I was like seven or eight, it was like everything got obliterated. I mean, I didn't even have my own room at my dad's. I had my own room, but I didn't have it decorated. I just like a mattress on the floor and I had like crates and like the closet had organizers, but I couldn't hang posters or anything.[00:46:00] 

Yeah. You never had that sense of, it was never security. No. Yeah. It's like living out a suitcase in a hotel. It has everything you need, but it's just not home. Right, right. And so I remember in high school, so I mean, I, I tried to like, I, I would get frustrated with this with my stepmom and there were times when I would just have to cave and let her let her violate me because I had no, I had no autonomy.

No autonomy. And I remember my stepmom was, Going to school. She's act, she actually has her master's. She was a teacher and she, before she became a teacher, she wanted to be a flight attendant. So she went to go apply and she came back crying. And I noticed that she was, you know, all like, kind of dramatic and crying.

And [00:47:00] she's like, I didn't even get off the car because there was like 500 women and they were all prettier than me and I must have just logged it. Like, oh, okay. So then I became, became a flight attendant. Yep. So then I became a flight attendant. Like, yeah, it was easy. I just went in and they hired me. I just, I would just like get her in other ways, you know?

It's like one of my aunts is a real, she really good black belt and karate. And my stepmom used to do karate, but she only got a red belt. So I would say, I'm going to go visit my aunt, the one with the black belt. Yeah, passive aggressive, but it's what you could do. So now, yeah, whatever I could do.

Yeah, whatever. Yeah. Any way that I can, you know, control at least as much as I could. Cuz then it would just get really awkward. And if you like, there were times when she would, if you've ever been around women that like to gossip a lot, [00:48:00] this woman liked to gossip. Like, oh my God. And I remember thinking, this is ridiculous.

Like, I don't even wanna hear her no matter where we went. She had to like debrief and talk about everything. And I remember thinking, oh my God, I can't stand this, but I'm just going to sit there and pretend like, oh, okay. But I, I couldn't stand it. Like there were things and I, you know, I just, I never asked my dad like, what do you see in her?

I just, cuz you don't know, you don't really. You don't understand the, the lifelong consequences of when your parents get married. And the parents, the stepparents don't understand. And this is vital because what they do is they destroy the attachment to your parents. And that is a, that is, that is anointed by God.

We are, we are as parents, we are [00:49:00] entrusted with kids, you know, we have 'em for a very limited time. And so yeah, it, it it's very sick how much a adult could hate an innocent child. Yeah. And going back to that, like you can't just compartmentalize psychosis. So there's no way I can imagine her kids grew up, they were raised normal or grew up normal.

So what was your half? They grew up under the same narrative I did. Lisa was bad. Her parents divorced, her mom was bad. She grew, she was very, they would tell you she's a very good mom. And I suppose because that's their mom, you know, no matter what, we love our parents, but they're parents now. And but did she groom and control them also?

Not, I think so. Is abusive. But I can't imagine someone that sick [00:50:00] not having an aspect to every relationship. I, yeah, I definitely see it now. The way that she was with my sister, like my little sister you know, was very close to her, but I used to see my sister say things like as I got older, my sister would come to my house and visit and she would say things like, oh wow, look, Lisa's like a really good decorator.

And my stepmom would tell her to shut up, like, in Spanish or like, In English to like, be quiet Jessica. Like, that's enough. Like she was so, she was very controlling, but in a different way. With my brother my stepmom seemed to idolize him more than my sister. So my sister was like the middle child.

And you know, the kids are just, they grew up under the same, kind of, the same ti the same way, but they were [00:51:00] loved and nurtured and, and at least they got more from cuz that's their mom. But, you know, that's a, that's, that's not a question for, that's something for them to ever ask. But like, I don't because they were born into it.

They were born into this. So they're innocent. They don't, we don't talk right now because it. Once I found out how bad this, how deep this went, I think, I think eventually, maybe once she dies, you know, because I do love them. I do love them. They're, they're they're a part of, they're a part of me. I'm a part of them.

We shared the same gat. But I am so glad I share no blood with her. Yeah. So now you're in high school, you haven't had any kind of [00:52:00] help or guidance working through these traumatic issues and circumstances? Again, a healthy adult would have trouble dealing with one of them, let alone all of them. Let alone doing this as a kid and having no.

So now you're in high school, you said you met your son's father. Mm-hmm. Was he in high school also? Was he older? What was he? He was, he was younger than me. He was like two I think he was like a year younger. The class lower than me. And Okay, we met in math class and I had like an A in geometry, and then towards the end of the year I had like an F.

What we did was cut school. He was very popular. All the girls liked him. And I thought it was like he was protective over me, so I thought that was love. Like, look at that guy, look at you. That's, you know, that's, that's not protection. That's being jealous. The kids don't know this. So [00:53:00] he became like my, I guess I.

Became his girlfriend. And then I had really good friends that I would stay, you know, at their houses. And even my really good friend, we're all still good friends now, and they're like, remember when Lisa would spend the night for like a month? Like, you know, cuz I just, I never wanted to be, I didn't wanna be, I felt safer at my friend's house than I did at my dad's or my mom's.

Like, so you're talking, it was a lot. And there were times when I, I like something was off, but I didn't know it was trauma. I didn't know that. You know, they talk about like, how you had said earlier, like, I wanna shut my brain off. Yeah. That's what the brain does when it gets uncomfortable outta protection.

Cuz it's hard cuz it's hard to, you know, so I imagine I mean I, I just listened to music [00:54:00] tv. I stayed. Busy. And then by the time I think by the time I was like 19, I was pregnant and got married and we ended up getting to live in Hawaii. So what helped me was I got the hell away. Mm. Once I got away, I never went back.

I didn't wanna ever go back. And before you got married, did you share with him your past or did you just keep it quiet? You mean to my parents or to my, no, no, no. So you're getting married and even though you're young, did you share with him all the stuff that happened to you in the past or did you just Nope.

So I would say things like, I don't wanna talk about it. I had a step, like, people go like, so your parents who are your parents or, you know, you, you go through the introductions and I would, this is what I would say, I, my parents' divorce, it sucked. I had a bad step monster. That was it. Like I didn't even, I couldn't even entertain it like [00:55:00] I wanted out.

So I was looking ahead and as soon as I knew that I was going to be a mom, it was like something changed and I was like steady and fearless, and I knew I was going to raise my child. Complete opposite from what was, you're going to hear me well then what happened to me, and that's exactly what I did. Okay, so now you guys go to Hawaii, so I'm guessing military or how did you guys get to Hawaii?

Yeah, he was in the Coast Guard and luckily, you know, luckily was like, yeah, we're going to get to live in Hawaii. And my son, our son was five months old and I remember going to the airport and like my grandma, my mom was there, my dad was crying and I'm like, get me on that freaking plane. I wanna get the hell outta here.

And I never wanted to look back and I just pushed it all down because I was in mom mode. I didn't wanna, I didn't, I was always in and outta [00:56:00] counseling, just trying to figure out with things, especially when we got to Hawaii. Cuz then Frank and I started to fight a lot. Right. We started to argue like he liked, I mean he was a handsome guy, he was a young guy.

And you know, I was feisty and. I, I didn't I didn't wanna be hurt by anyone, so we would argue we'd have these we'd have these little tipper tats and we ended up having to get divorced, which was, you know, worked out for the best. But we always co-parented. But I'll, I'll never forget being in Hawaii and having to go to counseling and the counselor's looking at us, cuz he was, Matt's dad was only 19 when he got, when we got married.

So That's young, right? We're young kids. I mean, I know my son's like, I don't know. Oh, you we're so young. And I'm like, yeah. But it was like everything to me. I remember it being in counseling and the counselors looking at, [00:57:00] you know my son's dad. And then looking at me is, she's like, you got a lot of growing up to do.

And she looked at me, she goes, you pick, you have really bad, you pick really bad men. And I'm like, that's it. That's all. That's hap that's it. No way. Like I was like, huh? So it was always, yeah, so it was once, after the first divorce was when, you know, really started to go into counseling and it was always, you know, would just lead back to the divorce.

But all of the all of the different counselors, I, I, I didn't really remember. I had like, pushed down a lot of the trauma and that's natural. That's sadly the norm in a lot of ways. People suppress it, they don't remember it. I mean, how many people have gaps in their memories from trauma? Right. They, they truly don't understand.

They don't remember, like, that never happened and it, it did get, they're just suppressing it. Mm-hmm. So, okay, so now you're married, you're in Hawaii, just mm-hmm. Pick up or walk to your [00:58:00] story. It's fabulous. Yeah. And it, and it was, it was reality. It was in one aspect it was good because I was surrounded by every you know, you, you come from California and then now you're living with people from Oklahoma, Texas.

All over Florida, all over the world. And it was like a you know, a community cuz you're part of like the military. And, you know, it was very there were some very sweet tender times and then there were moments where we were so young and so immature and, you know, it was, we would've ended up just hurting each other and it would've been horrible for my son.

So we divorced when he was four, which was the same age as I was when I was a kid, but mm-hmm. There was no way I was going to not he was going to have a relationship with both of his parents. And I [00:59:00] was going to, I was never going to leave my son with a stepparent like I was. I just wanted to give him a good start.

That was, yeah, that was all I ever wanted. Like that was it. Like I didn't even, you know, usually, I mean, I became a flight attendant, but I mean, I, I just wanted to give him a good start. And you know, you're raising your son and now you have stepmom who hated me, and now she didn't like that my dad was a grandpa because it made her uncomfortable because she was 10 years younger than him.

So she had all kinds of, she has all kinds of issues and she would like forecast him on everyone else, but you can just, it, it, it was so bizarre. But I'll never forget, I was visiting my dad and oh, this is bad. After getting a divorce, [01:00:00] I went to go visit my dad. And I pull up and my son is in the car with me in his car seat, and my dad comes out of the house, and this is before cell phones, you know?

And, and he's like, she's being crazy in there. She says she doesn't want you in the house because you, you're evil. Like my dad thought it was lu ludicrous. And I knew exactly what her mind and how she was, because by now I was already in my mid twenties. My son was four five. And I looked at my dad and I thought, all right, I tolerated this when I was a kid, but not now, not with this kid.

And I remember thinking, God, I wanna go up there and pull her by her hair and drag her outta that house. And keep in mind, the script that she wrote was still in that house in the same place it had been since I had read it. Did did you ever tell your [01:01:00] dad about this script? Oh, at this point? Yeah. Oh, oh yeah.

That comes later. No, no, but I'm saying at this point, like between your, no, so to this point, you're 20, let's just say 24, 25, you're at the house with your son. She's like, she's evil and she can't come in the house. Mm-hmm. And but to this point, your dad has no idea what the script No. And my dad is just like, she, I don't know what the hell's wrong with her.

And, and I just, I remember cuz I got out of the car and I remember just, you know, the, the cars, you know, the air conditioning's on the windows are rolled and my son's right there and I just, I remember just thinking, God, I wanna like pull her hair, bring her down. And I, and I didn't, cuz I, I saw this little kid staring at me and I knew like, you know what?

I'll go to jail. That lady is the one that needs to be in jail. But I couldn't put it all together cause I was so. Disappointed that my dad couldn't say, Hey, you know what, you get outta here. Go for a drive. My daughter and my [01:02:00] grandson are going to come in. If you don't like it, get out. And the fact that he couldn't do that or say that just, it just, it just reinforces the false belief that you're not good enough to even come in this house.

So I went, you know, I think I, by that time I was living in, in the Bay Area. And my mom, by this time, my brother was born. My brother and I are 20 years apart, and my brother Vince and I are real close. And I think the biggest reason is my stepmom did such a good job as erasing my past, but she didn't count on all the love that was coming my way.

Like having like a relationship with my little brother, right? So my mom when here I am a young mom, and my mom was a mom [01:03:00] again, so I didn't feel like I could go to her. So it was just a shit show. It was terrible. And that's when I started applying with airlines and I got hired and by 26 I was flying.

By 27, I was already engaged. And that's when I met my second husband. And we were married for 21 years and then married a pilot. And we joke, like we, we look back now like, oh, I could see how I would have these like responses or these like trauma reactions. And they were always like, at bullies or like, Greg is, is my ex-husband's name, but he would be like, oh my God, I'm picking up Lisa at the airport.

The cops are there. Like, what happened? Like, who did she get in the tango with? Because it was like, I was fearless, like, like, you are a bad person and you're breaking the law and you should go to jail. So I was always like, there's like an injustice that you [01:04:00] feel when you grow up this way. So you look at the world like that's, that's, that is bad and that's good.

And that should never happen. And so it was just, it was always like disproportionate reactions I would have with it just, you know, it like, I think one time somebody got drunk on an airplane and, you know, the cops had to come. There was just, I was fearless. I was fearless. And I was also just, I, I guess I just got to the point where you.

You get so sick of all the wrong that happens, you don't wanna see it happen to anyone at any time. So I'm really grateful for the 21 years that I did have with Greg that, you know, his, our marriage served a purpose. And [01:05:00] so, you know, I start about, mm, Matt was in the second grade and grandma was watching him.

When I say grandma, I mean my ex-mother-in-law. She said, I'll watch him for you while you fly. And it was like the perfect scenario. But Grandma was doing my son's homework and my son wasn't reading. My son was memorizing books, but he wasn't reading. And I remember the teacher saying, Lisa, if he doesn't read, he's going to, he's going to be held back.

And I saw my childhood just kind of like flash before me. Like, why am I flying? I need to be present. This is bs. And everyone loved my job. My job was perfect for everyone except for my son, because even for me, right? When you think about a kid from divorce, we're used to packing and you know, you get to fly all over the world and you can just be a gypsy and ignore the things that make you uncomfortable.

[01:06:00] And as soon as I saw that my son needed stability, he, he needed, he needed a good start. I quit. We moved, and I never looked back. And I put my son first I moved him, I think his first, from the third, third to sixth grade. He had male teachers. He was always in sports. So I was an active mom protective until my son was a wrestler.

Until he finally like, mommy, you don't have to protect me anymore. Like, you know, like I just, I just I remember telling my husband, give me 10 years. Like, he comes first even when my husband, or he wasn't my husband yet. Even when we met, I said, meet me Aunt Chuck E. Cheese and bring quarters and let's see how this works.

But like, I never even dated I didn't bring any men around my son. I was really like [01:07:00] cause I remember what it felt like as a kid. You just, you don't, we remember what we feel. It's hard to articulate, but you don't, you don't forget those feelings. It's like when you listen to a song and invokes all these like, good memories.

It's kind of like that. So that's what I did. So now you're in this marriage and then your son's growing up. And is there anything else that happened? Cuz obviously you said he's your ex-husband now. Mm-hmm. So where, between when you got divorced, what led up to that divorce and is there anything else we missed?

Significant, or we just move up to that point? Yeah, we had like, my life was pretty idyllic, like compared to like what I had, like where I came from. I mean, I was, I thought, I, I'm not kidding, it was like idyllic. I, I was spoiled, I was loved and it was great. It was my best friend. Then there were things that cause he was a little older than me.

I, I wouldn't say a [01:08:00] little. He was like 13 years older than me. And there were things that I noticed. It, it was like I loved him, but I also was. Unraveling a lot, especially soon as my son graduated from high school. It was like my body and brain went, boop. Like now what? Like, it was like, I had been on High Octane from the time I was like seven.

I mean, probably even before then, right? I was just like on High Octane. And then I had a good like 15, 17 years of just like, I pretty much idyllic. I mean, I had like some, you know, cycling accidents, just life, just regular life hits, nothing too traumatic. And then well we [01:09:00] started, we became empty nesters and I, I remember just feeling.

Feeling really lost. Feeling like really lost. Like, like I, I thought it was just a like late postpartum depression that you get when, because you know, my son was now out of the house, he was 18. Like, what do I do? I'm so young. And before you go on, when you say empty nesters, did your son and your second husband connect well?

Mm-hmm. Were they amicable or were they like distant? No. Greg was a really good stepdad in the sense that he was very respectful to Matt's dad. There was one time, and I will never forget this, if your audience is listening, maybe your girlfriend or spouse. There was one time and this is funny.

I, we [01:10:00] wanted to get our first dog. I wanted a dog. Like, I guess I didn't have much patience. And he is like, Lisa, there's no dogs yet. Like, I get you a chihuahua, but we wanna lap fine. And I was like throwing a fit. Like I was acting like a brat. I'm not kidding. And my son was like behind me. And I'm not kidding.

This was like so weird. It was like so weird. And like the sense of, wow, I, I've never heard that before. I was being a brat, a spoiled brat. No, I want a dog now. Ugh. Like I was just being ridiculous. Like, and I remember Greg at the time looking, he was looking at me and then he looks at Matt and he goes, Hey Matt, can you go wait in the car for us?

He goes, can Matt goes in the car and this was the only time this ever happened. And he goes, don't you ever yell at me in front of Matt [01:11:00] ever again. And it was like, and I instantly had like, respect. It was like, was I testing him because it kind of felt like I was testing him. Like, God, that's kind of manipulative.

Why would I test him like that? So little things that I would find myself doing it, it, it would always kind of like, God, how would I do that? Like, that hit me at such a significant level. I can't even tell you. I don't know if it's probably cuz I, the way my dad was a dad, he didn't say anything. He just put his head in his sand.

But Greg was like, and that was it. Like I never ever acted like that ever again because it was like, kind of checked me and, and that was a good thing. So that was like probably one of the first signs that like, wow. So Greg would, no, he was really good. He, he was like [01:12:00] and he was gone a lot too. So it was good in the sense it was good for my son and I because we had our own time together.

And then, you know, then it was good when my son was gone and, you know, Greg and I would have our, our time. But it was always, Matt was always a priority, always. And and I'm grateful that he never, he never, I mean, I'm not kidding when you have teenagers, you know, like they crash cars, you know, stuff happens.

Mm-hmm. And like God, like, They, even Matt and his and and Greg both got sued because of just insurance of, of an accident. My son didn't do anything wrong. It's just what people wanna do. They like to sue. And he didn't complain. He never said, he never got stressed out, like, and said, you know, Matt was being irresponsible.

He was like, calm and steady for a long time. And then it's like a nose [01:13:00] dive, like literally like what happened was well I started to unravel. So now we're in my, let's see, Matt is in college and I started to get really sick in 2000. I was riding, it was road racing, right? The skinny bikes with the flips and mm-hmm.

I was road racing and I was going down a hill at 36 miles an hour, and my tire came off the rim. Mm. And there was nothing I can do. They trained to fall, but not going downhill. And you lose all like the, it's like the steering wheel completely just is so movable. You're like, what, what is going on? It's like, what do I do?

Do I clip in? Do I clip out? Do I clip in? And [01:14:00] I clipped out and I flew and, and I hit the pavement. I, I hit like this. Anyways, I ended up shattering my clavicle. Massive concussion, broke my neck, didn't know that I had broken my neck by the way. It was so bad the doctors wouldn't touch me for like two weeks.

The helmet saved my life. And I remember the way that I handled childhood trauma, same way I handled trauma as adults. I pushed it down. I'm okay. I'm okay here. I'm at the hospital. I'm just, I'm, I'm on my face. I mean, everywhere it's, it, it's bad. It's really bad. And I remember like, I'm fine. I can go home.

I wanna go home. I had no business going home, but luckily I was young. I had a couple surgeries and then you fast forward from 2006 to about [01:15:00] 2015, 2016 and I, I start hanging out with my dad and my stepmom and my siblings. Cause I was always kind of in and out of family. Mm-hmm. I would still go visit and see them, but I would like tolerate my stepmom's Bs.

And there were times when I would, I mean, God, I remember I would break out in hives and rashes. This is 2016. And everyone's like, oh, you, you, you just have menopause. Like I'm sweating. And I'm like, no, no, this isn't right. And I remember looking at my stepmom, I'm going, I don't feel right. Can you help me?

Like, I did not feel right. And she's like, just breathe. Let's go in, let's go into the office. Just, just lay down talking to my stepmom and my body is like breaking out and wells at this time. My sister gets engaged. So we have a big wedding to prepare. So of course, you know, you do what families do. You go and you hang out and you celebrate [01:16:00] weddings Well, I got really sick, even worse to the point where this wedding that we went to was in Vegas.

And when we got to Vegas, I looked at my husband, I'm like, I was 42. Why do I feel 92? Like my body was just shutting down. Mm-hmm. Went to the doctor when I got home Greg's like take an x-ray of her neck. Not only did I have X-rays, but I had like it's called veto. All this spotted all up my legs.

It was bad. And they're like, Lisa, they, they looked at, they took a neck x-ray and they're like, Lisa, your neck looks like it was broken twice, but we don't want you to do anything. You're going to need surgery right away. What? Yeah. You broke your neck. It's bad. So, cause I, I was dropping things, I couldn't even hold this.

Like, it would just drop like this is like, what is going on? Thought I had rheumatoid a [01:17:00] arthritis. Two days later, my husband went to clean the shed, and lo and behold he found the script. Remember the script that I read when I was little? Mm-hmm. Well, what happened was in 2008 after I had my accident, I had remembered that I had been molested.

I had remembered I kept, I kept saying, dad, I called my dad crying. I'm like, dad? And, and he is like, yeah, I need you to do me a favor. Okay. I need you to get me the proof. And he is like, proof. What are you talking about? I'm like, dad, I need this. This is really important. Go into your bedroom. It, it's like been 17 years.

Go into your bedroom, look underneath your wife's nightstand and bring it to me. If it's a book and it'll have my name on [01:18:00] it. And he did. He brought it to me and it's a book. It was what she written, which she had typed 58 pages. And I remember I took it to my Christian counselor at the time. He read it and he said, Lisa, this is evil.

Throw it away. That was all the validation I needed in 2008 cuz I was still in mom mode and I wasn't going to, I was like fearless mom mode. Like I wasn't going to address anything. I seriously wanted to give my son the best pos the best way possible was a good start. And I didn't wanna dig into things that I wasn't ready.

So I came home and I told my husband the doctor said it was pure evil to throw it away. So I thought he put it in the garage and I would go look for it occasionally. Never found it. But in 2016, When my husband went to clean out the [01:19:00] garage and I was really sick, he found it and he uploaded it. And around the same time my mom had called me and my mom and I, we never got along.

It was like, always just like she could say, I love you, and I could say, okay, bye. Like, I just, I could, I, I loved her, but I didn't like her. I didn't like my own mother. Mm-hmm. And so my husband brings me the script, and here, now my son's like 25, 24, 25. He's out of co or he's, no, he's in college, so he's gotta be 22.

And I look at the script that I hadn't seen since I was a little, you know, kid. And I look at it and I went, holy shit, something's wrong. And when I read it as a mom, after already raising my son, and I looked at my husband at the time and we were like, where do you go? Like, And I remember [01:20:00] we went, I had had a, I have a really good doctor I was really close to who knew my history, everything except for the missing piece, which was, I had been fully alienated from my mom in plain sight.

So it was like an unraveling like no other. The weird thing was my mom over the phone were about to get into another, like mother and daughter, right? They normalized a little stuff, another mother and daughter argument and how many triggers do you have? And I'm like, why don't you read this? And Greg sent it to her and within an hour, my mom, it's like, it's like all of a sudden my mom saw, she understood what the hell happened.

She, she knew more than I could fully understand and. She like the whole, it went through the whole family. People were throwing up. They couldn't [01:21:00] believe it was just like a lot. I went to see my counselor, my psychologist, she looked at me and she goes, Lisa, I don't, I don't know if we can help you. And I'm like, what the hell happened to me?

What do you mean you can't help me? Like, like she's like maybe e M T therapy. Like, I don't know. And luckily Greg was listening to a podcast who was a spine surgeon who worked on nets. And we ordered his book. And what I had was a severe case of a lot of childhood trauma. So where do you go when this happens?

Because where do you go, like, call the cdc? Like, I've been brainwashed. Where do I go? Like, we don't have any, like, this is unprecedented. This has never happened before. Where do I go? Well, luckily it's called the Hoffman Process and that's where everyone that has a lot of movie stars have gone there. And And it works when you're older because you have that life experience.

And when you wanna heal, when you know something. [01:22:00] I didn't want any of my stepmom staying any of her narrative in my life anymore. And so I went to the Hoffman process. It's not a, it, all it is is it's backed by Harvard and in it's like seven days of intense therapy. And then for the rest of your life you always are connected and you have a a support system.

And I remember getting going there and I'll never forget it. They're like, I even brought a copy of the script that was downloaded, right? And they're like, Lisa, there's nothing wrong with you. What? No, you just survived. So the ages between seven and 13 were so cool. Like if I had to be brainwashed, if this had to happen that it was so bad, but.

For some reason between this eight, seven, and 13, because of the way that the brain is programmed, that's when your fire flight [01:23:00] kicks in. So my body and brain were responding biologically correct. To all this trauma. Mm-hmm. Pushing it down, suppressing it. But when, what happens is when we don't address, like emotional pain is no different than physical pain.

That physical pain we can treat, right? We put band-aids on, we can neosporin emotional pain. What, what do you do with that? So it stays in the body until it's released. So two weeks after I had attended the Hoffman, because I was on Norco, because I had broken my neck, I had never taken a Norco ever since.

Still pain free. Now what did they, what did they actually, I have one question before we go on to this. So the question's going to be, what did they teach you in practical steps? So if our listeners. Or like, okay, what do I do? Where do I at least start? The question is me. What did they teach you to start releasing this so you can get rid of the emotional, mental, spiritual, and then [01:24:00] ultimately physical thing.

Like a total cleanse, right? Yeah. They, well, before lemme ask you one more question before we go there, just so we can tie things up. Your father gets the book for you. Mm-hmm. He brings the book to you. Surely he looked through it. What did he think when he handed it to you?

Well, we didn't talk for three years because he was like,

she was just expressing herself. I don't think he, he couldn't, I think there was a, he was in a tough place. He was in a tough place and this, and now his kids are grown. They're not little anymore. Right. And yeah, this is, this was this. Yeah, even no, even everybody had missed it. Even the psychologist that read it missed the signs.

Nobody knew, thank God my husband didn't throw it away. So yeah. And just if anybody's listening, [01:25:00] that is shit advice from that counselor to throw it away. I've had counselors tell me stuff like that too. You don't wanna be sitting there reading things obsessing and dwelling in the past, right. But notes you took in journals and things you have to work you through that trauma are invaluable tools for you and for others.

So to take something like that and toss it, that's just pure ignorance. And you need to get a better counselor, in my opinion. And from what I've seen, and I actually get a Master's in counsel. Just to, cause I had things going on in my life and I was trying to figure them out. So I wanted to dig in and I put my money where my mouth is and I got a master's degree.

And every piece of credible literature says you use those as resources and move forward. They're stepping stones. Now. The Bible, two-thirds of the Bible is the Old Testament, gives us the history so we can live in the present for a great future. You know, there's a saying, if you don't know your history, you're bound to repeat it.

Yes. [01:26:00] So don't be tossing away invaluable things, but don't also be like living it and being stuck in it. So find that balance. Well, hey, like, yeah, it because it, you know, and again, like I was in mom and so it was like, I'm not going there. You know, I just, because it's so painful. You don't wanna miss it. You.

You don't wanna even think about it. So, yeah. So your dad gets, your dad isn't a shitty situation. I mean, he's stuck. That's his wife and mother of his two kids. And now, but his firstborn daughter, she's like, he, he loves you both and he's stuck. And so, but then you guys don't talk for three years, so now you're friends.

Oh God, yes. Oh man. It was, it was like because it, it, it was, you know, no matter how long your parents have been divorced, they will always repeat the same stories over and over again. And older you get it, and then when you become, you know, a parent yourself and you just, like, you see this cycle of like, [01:27:00] dysfunction and, and it's not like they even realize it, or, or it, it was so horrible for me because you have to realize throughout my life, no matter what, I still, like, I was so close to my dad, like nothing even is.

Horrible as my stepmom was. Like my dad was still always there for me. Like he would take me, you know, when I was pregnant, he would take me to my ob gyn you know appointments. So my dad was the first person I told I was pregnant. I didn't tell my mom, I told my dad, so this was, you know, for my dad he was like, why?

What did he say? Because I knew once I knew like, oh, I was totally brainwashed, son of, you know, just you, you go through so many different emotions. I was so angry. And just the shock. The shock and, and so much of unraveling and my [01:28:00] dad over the phone said, Why are you listening to Greg and your mom? And he sounded just like my stepmom.

And I remember Greg's like, don't, don't throw your phone. And I'm like, I, I thought I am so codependent over my dad whole leash. And I like never again. Like, cuz I knew once, you know, then once you know what happened to you, then you can take control over your life. But when you don't know it, it, it's a psychological mind.

Yeah. So I remember I, I threw my phone and I broke it, but I, cuz I was so mad and I didn't talk to my dad for three years and it was a podcast that I had did in 2022 that my dad listened and he got it. And my dad my dad came back into my life and he understood. What really had happened. He's like, he didn't wanna believe it.

You don't wanna believe it. And it's [01:29:00] like, no. And he hasn't wavered and he is proud of me for just, just never, I, I never stopped. I mean, I didn't wanna think about it as a child and even as a mom, but once I knew I wanted to do everything I could to, to get this ugly destruction outta my, outta my life.

And that's when I went to the Hoffman. And what they teach you there, it's it's, it's, it's, the term is called negative love patterns. So as kids we are, you know, bound to our parents outta survival. And a lot of times parents aren't perfect. And so we pick up these negative love patterns and it's basically like fake love.

Like pseudo love is like, I love you so much, [01:30:00] but I need you to listen to me. Like I need you to listen to me cause I'm going through a lot. So a kid is having to be an adult or you have a parent that likes to smother and doesn't want their kids to grow so they keep 'em stunted or there's all these different patterns that parents have.

And so when you, you learn all this and then you learn about your own patterns and when you go through a lot of trauma and you like are the first kid in the world to grow up and figure out that, holy crap, I was brainwashed and this is what happened. And cuz it took like, it took 40 years, but I was able to You know, release a lot of the patterns that were keeping me hostage in my own mind, in my own heart.

My own spirit I'm not kidding. Like now it's called Mrs. It has to do, when you can't hear, like, when [01:31:00] certain sounds bug you. People like, you know, the, like, you know, you'll hear like the scratching on a chalkboard and you're like, oh, right. So I would have, like, I couldn't sit at a dinner table. I had to always have music on.

I couldn't sit in the dark. And all these like patterns that just would kind of they, they served a purpose to survive, but as an. It's like, yeah, why do I flinch every time a man tries to come and hug me? Oh yeah. Because the stepdad was trying to play with your boobs when you're growing up.

Right? So you'd flinch. So when we do all these things, that's cuz the body remembers. The body remembers. So when you get the script that was used to brainwash you, then it's kind of like a map and you can go in and like, it's, this is where it gets fascinating cuz you can see like how resilient and, and really how strong kids really are when you have [01:32:00] to see like what a lot of, what a lot of kids are up against that they don't know.

Like I had no idea that my attachment to my mom was vital. I thought that my stepmom saying how bad and writing how bad my mom was, was, I mean, when you read it, you can't blame me for not wanting to be around my mom, but my mom didn't deserve that. That that's. That's a total destruction of, of your safe attachment to a parent.

And if you don't have a safe attachment to your parents, it, it, it's scary. Yeah. Well, let's, what about this? So what did you do or what was one of the things that really helped you move forward? Lisa? What was an exercise that our listeners can take and try at their house? Right now? I had to let go a lot of anger.

I had to, when you, when you grow up, and most of us have [01:33:00] grown up, where we weren't allowed to express our anger, we weren't really allowed to express ourselves. Right. You, you're a child. You are, you don't know what you're doing. You're supposed to be seen, not hurt. So being able to express myself in either a creative way, in an angry way.

So let's just say And you see things all over the place. Like when we get mad, a lot of us aren't taught, but it's okay to be mad. We're not, parents don't teach us like, well, how do you get rid of anger in a healthy way? Well go scream into a pillow. Go take a bat and hit something and get it out.

Get it out of your mind and body. So being okay with being angry and releasing it in a healthy way. Sometimes I'll tell kids, oh, your parents make you mad, and mine make me really mad too. Get a plate. Write everything down that you don't like about, say you're breaking up with someone, right? He's a jerk.

She's mean. [01:34:00] I don't like the, whatever, whatever it is, there's no judgment because this is your feelings. This is how you feel on the inside. Let's get that out and then write it all out on a, you know, take a sharpie, write it out on a plate like from the dollar store, then go somewhere where you can break it.

Break it in pieces and watch and, and watch and listen to your body. So I learned everything. I had to wrangle everything from like my body always, always warns me. Because what happens is you get these survival patterns really fast. I come phenomenal because it's like, Hey man, you got me here.

They just, it's, that's why like when you see people on airplanes and they lose their shit and they lose it, they get really mad and you see them like just going off on an airplane and people are like, what is going on? And I'm like, that's his inner child. Like some, something really happened back in the day for that person or they could be like off their meds.

But [01:35:00] it's being able to express your anger. It was a real I think a real, real important cuz we all have anger and that's okay. You cannot live without anger or anxiety if you didn't have anger or anxiety. You would not live. Mm-hmm. So now you go through this program mm-hmm. That's around 22. And then now we're here today.

Take us from that program and how your life progressed to where you are today, and then we'll transition to where you're headed. Okay. So I attended the Hoffman in 2018. And then 2019 I went back for the yearly not the yearly. I went back again for like graduate courses. I was still, cuz there was so much trauma.

I remember we didn't exercise and I kind of had like a, [01:36:00] just, I had a, a emotional reaction, like real emotional reaction. And they said, honey, we, we hold trauma in our. We do. Yeah. Well the doctors I've been going to the past 20 years, no one's ever told me that. No, really we do. So I ended up getting a somatic therapist as well.

And somatic therapy is where they work with the nervous system. So basically my entire nervous system had to re-shift for my survival. So when you work with the nervous system, you're working a lot with the mind and body and a lot of the pain from the past. So my healing was just beginning. So it's been seven years straight.

And in the seven years, not only so 2018, went to the Hoffman, went to the Hoffman again in 2019. Started, started seeing a somatic therapist. [01:37:00] And then about 2019, right before Covid hit I was struggling because I wasn't talking to my dad. It's unheard of. Right. And I couldn't talk to him because I just, I, I couldn't respect like this just the parent in me.

I was just too hurt. It was, it was just too much. Like this is, my dad didn't wanna accept, like, and this is part of healing when you have childhood trauma is if you know your parents or the adults take accountability, that helps. But when they deny it, that didn't happen to you. That's just gaslighting.

That doesn't help. So I was, I was starting to unravel and I thought it was because it was my dad. No, I think my husband thought, I don't think he thought I was going to snap out of it. You literally come apart [01:38:00] where there was a time when I was sitting on the couch, the edge of the couch just kind of zoned out, like I didn't wanna move.

It's called fond mode, basically. It's where you're too afraid to go forward, you're too afraid to go back, so you're just going to stay and not do anything. That is a total trauma response. And so my, my husband did what a lot of men and women do. He met a person, didn't tell me. And I was so distracted by my own stuff that was going on, but my nervous system wasn't right.

This was just wasn't right. So one night I just, I lost it. Like, I just like, was tired of healing. I didn't, I was missing my dad. I don't know what was going on, but I took some Xanax, I took like eight pills and I told Greg and he took me to the emergency. And when you do that, they send you to a hospital.

Where you have no rights, meaning you get, [01:39:00] if you try to hurt yourself, you go to a hospital and they keep you for as long as they want, and you have to, you have no rights. You have to take their meds. Luckily, I got out of there in time. I got out within two days. And when I got home, my husband was like, not the same person, like the supportive husband that said, you know, what do I do with this script?

What do we do? He's like, we put it in the light. He was, he was gone, like he was there, but he was like, I'm going to be staying at my parents. Why? Because what you did was wrong. You try to hurt yourself and that's not okay. So he was like, blaming me for doing what I did. So I was, this was a whole other unraveling, like, what the hell is going on?

So all of a sudden it was like, The worst type of panic mode I've ever [01:40:00] experienced. I didn't wanna I, I didn't wanna take responsibility. Like I, I didn't wanna believe that. Like why is he doing this to me? And I started somatic therapy and I had this weird feeling. I was in the garage and someone, I just like heard this voice.

I swear to God, I heard this voice. It said, Lisa, like, look in the garbage, in the gar in the garage. It's just paper. Stick your hand in there. I swear to God I heard that. Just stick your hand in there. It's like, stick my hand in there and like, damn, I see plane tickets and I'm like, plane tickets. That's not my name.

So I go to social media and I Google and I see this like Brazilian chick, like, I don't even know maybe my son's age. And I'm like, do you know this is my husband and do you know him? And everything she wrote back was like, Every wife's worst, worst nightmare. So now I'm in the middle of all this unraveling.

And it was so bad. It was [01:41:00] so bad. There was no, there was no way to, to reconcile that. It was like I lost my best friend, my husband overnight. So now you're healing the trauma. You know what it is. But now you're, he, now your divorce, you're going through a divorce. So that divorce opened up teenager, Lisa.

And that's that's when the somatic therapy we did ketamine, which is a psychedelic, and that's when we went in, it's called a lot of therapists use the word it's sticky. The sticky stuff. The sticky stuff is, The stuff that was said, the trauma that sticks, it's really hard to get to because in order to heal from trauma, you have to feel it.

And because this was so painful, it's just like, wh when veterans go to war and they see some [01:42:00] gruesome stuff. So I took the ketamine and oh my God, it was like, it was the best thing. It, it, it helped and I was able to kind of shift and keep going from there. So now I'm over 2000 hours of trauma therapy, which is a lot.

But you know, you learn, you learn. Healing is like a sport. The more you do it, the more you get used to it. And it's all about your, no, it's all about your nervous system and understanding your nervous system and how to control your, your mind and body so you can integrate all of those parts and then that's how you've.

That's how you are whole, is that you integrate your emotional pain and your physical pain. Athena, that's my dog. And that's, that's how I began [01:43:00] the, the second track of my healing journey. Wow. Now, so

between your birth and today, you've experienced a lot and you've had a lot of highs and lows and trauma, like legit trauma that could stop a train. So now you brings us to today where you just start unravel this. You're going to the Hoffman, you're starting to, you know, try to unwind the knots of your life.

Then you go through a divorce, which alone can wreck someone, and then you find, you said ketamine. And somatic therapy. So talk about ketamine cuz I'm not, I've heard of it, but I don't know a lot about it. So, somatic therapy is in, correct me if I'm wrong, it's working on the physical body to release the emotional pain, the [01:44:00] cells heal, is that correct?

Yes, yes, yes. And then she uses, like, we use like modern neuroscience too. So it's both. You're, you're, you're also reprogramming your, your brain as well, so you're integrating all aspects of yourself. Yeah. So for, yeah. Mm-hmm. Oh no, I'm sorry. Didn't mean hear you. I was, this is a delay. I apologize. But I was going to say, people, if you've ever going to massage and you're getting a massage by a good massage therapist, and then all of a sudden you just have this emotional trigger, like, where'd that come from?

That's a, a kind of a small example of how the body holds. Like if you have a knot in your shoulder, Yeah, you get a knot for a year and then a massage therapist works it on. You start crying or you start having emotion. It's not from pain, it's from this memory being released. So there's something to it. I don't understand it.

So talk more about that and then talk about the ketamine. What is ketamine and how does it work with somatic therapy? So when, so [01:45:00] when you I know it's, it's, it, I know it's, it just, this is a lot of trauma. Morph, I guess. It's a lot of trauma. You have to also understand. It's like, I don't know any different I do now.

And it's like, holy shoot. That's, that's brutal. And it, so basically somatic therapy helps regulate and integrate the parts of us that are stuck. So when you're talking someone like me, and I know there's lots of people that have had a lot of trauma. And if you've never done somatic therapy, it is so crucial.

And insurance companies don't even pick this up. So the best way is, let me, let me give you an example. So sometimes my somatic therapist will go, well, Lisa, where are you feeling this in your body? And I'll, sometimes I'll go like my throat or my heart [01:46:00] and all, I have to put my hand or my heart there.

And a lot of breathing into the emotion, the pain. And it's, it's all for, for me because I have the script, because I know it's all from childhood. So it's basically every missing part that was not nurtured. That's what hurts. That's it's trauma is isn't just what doesn't happen, what happens to you, but also what doesn't happen, right?

So a lot of times I can't tell if I'm excited or scared. Right? Because the nervous system gets all like excited. And so it's basically just going in and being courageous enough to go in to the parts of us that were helps like in [01:47:00] kind of held, suspended in time. Like you're stuck. It's like you, if you don't, if you don't release these emotions, you, you will be stuck there forever.

And so what does the ketamine do to release the ketamine is like, I call it the magic airplane ride, where it you could take it in a shot. I took it both and you do it with your somatic therapy. And it's great because it shuts down the part of the brain that's always just like a subconscious, it, it slows it down.

So it almost feels like, I swear to God, I thought like my brain was like going to shut down. It feels like you're like in a Battlestar Galactic, but basically you're kind of like outside of your body, but you're in therapy. So you're able to go in and see things from a different perspective, and then you use that new [01:48:00] perspective and you integrate that part.

And the only way to see that perspective is to go back and the only way to go back when something is that painful. Is under like a hallucinogen. This is why it works because it also opens up the brain, it opens up the pathways so that you can, cuz our brains are like, they're plastic, so they'll keep growing.

As long as we keep moving and, and and shifting upward that's what our brains, that's what our brains and bodies are meant to do. It. It's a miracle really, the way that we're made. It's truly fascinating when you look at it, even though it's a lot of trauma, the fact that there is a way through it. Is what's so important because nobody wants to feel the shame and the suffering because it hurts.

And when we don't understand this basic, you know, like [01:49:00] we come with emotions, we come with tears, we come with anger, we come with anxiety. But when you're shame for it, cuz a lot of generations, we only know what we know. And so that's why this is so important is that trauma is a part of life. We won't escape.

Like giving birth is traumatic. Dying is traumatic. Living can be traumatic are so there are pools and things that are now available and it's just going to get better and better because you, you can't really live your life full when you're constantly trying to heal something that you don't know you need healing from.

Yeah. So now between your birth. And today. Is there anything we missed or anything you wanna share before we transition into where is Lisa today and where are you heading in the future? No, just know that, you know I was always secure no [01:50:00] matter as much trauma and BS and pain that I had to go through.

My light, my essence was always was set like my foundation was set. And I can't look back at any point in my life cuz, and there's so much more I can share. But let's just say, you know, that's what I have a book. But what's good is that at the end of the day, I cannot look back and not see that there was bad.

But then there was. Like there was dark, but then there was light. And I didn't always know why is this happening? Like, I didn't always get the answer. Now I can look back and now I know why I went through that. Ah, now I get it. Ah, now I get it. So there was like a, it's almost like a full circle where you, where I'm at today, you know that saying where you actually get to be the author of your own life.

That's literally what is happening today [01:51:00] because I am embracing my past and my my future and no shame. Like there's, we survive so that we can share, so that other people can survive too. Amen. Amen. So Lisa, if someone wants to get a hold of you, what's the best way for them to reach you? And then also, where are you today?

And specifically, where are you heading and how can we help you get there? Awesome. Thank you for asking. So well I am just finished. My book is right now being it's in the publishing process. So the cover design is being made as we speak. My book is called Alienated When Parents Won't Parents, and what I am doing is I am taking everything that was bad [01:52:00] that happened to me and I'm using it for good.

So I was alienated from my mom by my stepmom and my dad didn't know to the extent. And today they both scammed. By me. You know, they, they stand, they support the book. Especially because I use what was used to brainwash me. Cuz this is happening all over the world maybe is not as sick, but it still happens and it's still the same pain because when we lose a parent, we lose a part of ourselves.

We, we search for that throughout our lives. So I wrote the book and it should be released by the end of May. And I'm excited because this is such a important topic because it's about parenting and really what goes on for kids from divorce, because we know divorce is bad, but why is it bad? [01:53:00] Why?

Like, because it, it's different when you can co-parent. If my parents would've co-parented, if they would've put me first and not let my stepmom intervene. I would've been okay. I wouldn't have suffered the way that I suffered. So my son, he was totally co-parented. I mean, he is loved. There is, there is not a doubt that he knows his mom and dad love him and he is got supportive stepparents.

That's the best thing that parents can do for their kids and stay away from family court. So where I'm at today is awaiting this book launch. I started the Step Hood project, which is to bring awareness for kids who grew up like me where they might, might not even know, like I didn't even know. Cuz we just think it's normal for our parents to fight.

But then when you feel uncom uncomfortable in your own body around your parents, that's a big sign. That's a big sign that, okay, why do [01:54:00] I feel uncomfortable? Well, that's, you know, these are things that professionals and people need to know. So that. Says why kids will numb and, and drink and hurt themselves.

And when kids try to speak their voice, parents will say, you don't know what you're talking about. You're, you're brainwashed. So I'm like, no, no, no, no. I, I understand them. I got them. So I'm like the bridge between the parent and the kids that are trying to understand each other. And so the book is a big there's nothing like it.

It, it's a big wake up call for all parents who are struggling with kids who are alienated or estranged. Awesome. So this episode, we're recording it the day after, what most people call Easter in the United States. And then it will be released probably in May. So right alongside your book launch in 2023, May, 2023.

And yeah, you can probably, I'm sure, is this going to be available on Amazon, I'm guessing. So we'll put a [01:55:00] link in the show notes. Yeah. Once the book's released. And then you can check out. Do you have a website, Lisa? Mm-hmm. Yeah. So Step Put project.org is my website. You can find me on Instagram, lisa dot goodpaster.

You can also find me on Facebook. Lisa Goodpaster and TikTok Lisa Goodpaster. Awesome. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. And now I gotta ask, this is a question I'm sure our listeners are going to have too. Your stepmom, obviously she's tied to your father and you don't want to hurt your father. Mm-hmm. But I mean, some of the things you do was actually criminal.

And is she still with your father? Are they still together? Did they get to divorce? They're still married. Mm-hmm. They're still married. And yeah, that's, that's, that's hard. I love my dad and I don't want, I, I can't sugarcoat it. It's wrong. I, I, there's no way [01:56:00] somebody did that to my son. I'm sure his dad and I would've buried that person somewhere.

Yeah. No way. It's, there's no good. Sometimes it just sucks because this is why it's so sad because then you have it when you hurt a child, you don't just hurt that child. You hurt everyone that loves that child. That, and like my siblings that I don't, in my, they have, you know, I have nieces and nephews I haven't met.

Yeah. You know, this is, that's part of my dad. And so it's, this is how sick it is. So, no, she should be in jail. I could have, I could have, I mean, I don't know what she's going to do in jail, but I don't even wanna see her again. I would rather it's, it's like Cinderella backwards. It's like you had no right to take my parents.

Mm-hmm. And you did. And I'm still here. And I hope every stepparent that is doing this, or every parent that is allowing this, scares the heck out of 'em because it's a game changer. And it really brings parental alienation. [01:57:00] You can't deny it. They're like, does is parental alienation real? Yeah, it is.

And nobody wants to believe the parents, but they'll believe a kid that can grow up and prove and not repeat what was done. And it's by the grace of God. And just love that I was love more than I was hated. Amen. Yeah. And I can't help but thinking, you know, there's tons of psycho parents too, not just stepparents that do the same thing.

Yes. They lie and manipulate. They warp. Yes. Yeah. And that is, that's, and that's, that's why like, okay, well it's like, I'm glad it was my stepmom and my dad, you know you know, they, you know, call it the ostrich, they put their head in the sand or however it is. Mm-hmm. But if it would've been apparent, I can't imagine that, because that's, Yeah.

The person who's by nature is supposed to protect you. But yeah, it happens all the time. Husbands and wives get divorced. So the other one absolutely lies, [01:58:00] manipulates, they do it passive aggressively. They set up the other parent to, you know, they traumatize and Yeah, and, and the kids suffer. Oh, forever.

You don't even, it is, I think that's why my book is so important cuz it really shows the consequences of the parent's behavior. And it's, at the end of the day you know, you can be your kid's best friend and you can think that you're doing the right thing by talking bad about the other parent. But it comes back and I mean, I, I'm, I'm just like, sh I'm shocked that That it's, it's happening at such an alarming rate and nobody's, we, we've been accustomed to it.

No, a hundred percent. Like you got people who are doing wrong and they even go to counseling or they're [01:59:00] confronted with this stuff and they're like, oh, so gentle. So gentle. They're treated, and yet they're the sinner against people. The people they sin against now have two, like two bad choices no matter what they do.

Like, if you have a parent like, like, let's just go to adultery. Someone commits adultery. Yep. Oh yeah. Now you stay in the marriage and you have tons of baggage to work through, or you get divorced and you have tons of baggage to work through, so you didn't cause that sin, but you're dealing with the sin of the narcissist, gaslight, the adulterer, the infidel, whatever book you read, whatever you want to call it.

Right. Oh, But in every situation in life, it's like that. But our society right now, even within a lot of churches, they're trained to like, let every form of sin go. And then if you're angry or upset about it, you are the one with the problem. Well, that's not what my Bible says. And when they meet God, they're going to get the truth.

[02:00:00] But when it comes to what you're talking about, whether it's a stepparent, a parent, they screw and warp with children's minds, and they're going to have to face God for this. But right now, on this earth, thank you for sharing your story of how badly it impacted you. So now hopefully some of our listeners who have the same struggles can follow up with you, get your book, they can maybe even get some of that somatic therapy and they can be free and live a happy, joyful life.

Yeah, and, and you know, it's, it's, it's waves, you know, it's like, oh, let's, it's, it's okay to be sad. It's okay to to go through it. And a lot of it. A lot of it, you'd be surprised the older we get it gets harder cuz we build up resistance. So, you know, I just want your listeners to know yet the first thing is awareness.

Like, where in my life do I want to be a better parent? Do I wanna be a better spouse? I wanna be a better neighbor. And it's all possible. All right. Well thank you for being here [02:01:00] today, Lisa. Ladies, you gentlemen, you're welcome. Oh yeah, it's been an honor and a pleasure. Ladies and gentlemen, check out our show notes.

Get ahold of Lisa check out her book. If you have any questions, you can write us and we'll connect you to her. Or you can reach out to Le Lisa directly through her website, her social media accounts. But like our slogan says, don't just listen to great content, but do it. Repeat what you need to each day so you can have a great life in this world.

And most off attorney to come. So Lisa, thank you again for being on our show and sharing your story. Thank you. Yeah, it's been great. Ladies and gentlemen, share this like this. Tell your friends about it. You know what to do. The goal isn't to get the podcast famous. It's the goal is to reach many people, to glorify God and to help you grow.

So again, I'm David Pasqualone. This is a Remarkable People Podcast. Catch you in another episode, cha.

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