Marika Messager | Managing Team Relationships, Dismantling Toxic Patterns, & Becoming a Conscious Leader

“You have to do the work. You have to commit to growing.” – Marika Messager
 
GUEST BIO:

Marika Messager is a Conscious Leader, visionary, teacher, researcher in consciousness, elevating individuals, businesses, and the global community into a new paradigm of positive and purposeful impact.

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• Website: https://www.marikamessager.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marikamessager
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marikamessager/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/conscious-leadership-coaching-consulting/
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CORE THEMES, KEYWORDS, & MENTIONS:

• toxicity, change, perspective, privileged upbringing, travel, street smart, cultural differences, observing patterns, codependency, avoiding conflict, resolution, good intentions, truth, true intentions, seeking truth, alignment, toxic patterns, systems, consciousness, core values, dishonesty, managing teams, emotional manipulation, market intelligence, selling, sales, offer, price, value, financial markets, cognitive dissonance, self care, compassion, shame, blame, integrated coaching, mindfulness, coaching, toxic relationships, academy of conscious leaders, clarity, emotional baggage, the conscious library, hiding, the hard way, building resilience, flow, pivot, redirection, ego, seeking truth, alignment, thoughts, words, actions, building resilience, dismantling toxic patterns, team relationships, management, conscious leadership, “Diversity without inclusion is dangerous.” – Marika Messager, ego

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Transcript

Marika Messager | Managing Team Relationships, Dismantling Toxic Patterns, & Becoming a Conscious Leader

Hey, Marika, how are you today? I'm great. How are you, Pasqualone? I am excellent. I am excellent. And for our listeners, you need to absolutely, at the end of this episode, go to Marika's website, check out her content, and learn how to properly pronounce her name. Marika, why [00:01:00] don't you say your name for all our listeners with the French accent the proper way, since I'm butchering it.

Please forgive me. Sure. So my name is Marika Messager. All right. So ladies and gentlemen, you heard it the right way. And thankfully she's a very gracious guest. And as you're going to see in this episode, she has a ton of life knowledge and information and experiences we can all glean from. So I'm super pumped to talk to Marika.

And Marika, as we go through this episode, our listeners are going to grow in a bunch of ways or have content they can run with and apply to their lives and be better people. But if there is one truth or one concept or one just life changing application that's going to be in this episode from your life story, what is that that our listeners know if they stick through the episode, they're going to get at least that out of the show?

Oh, that's a big question. [00:02:00] I would say they will understand why it's important to fight any toxicity or distortion within them. And to bring some understanding and eventually transformation to that which is within them so that they can be actors of change, of positive change for themselves, for their community, for the world in general.

So they will understand why it matters and they will understand how to do it and then how to think about the perspective of. Taking a more systemic intelligence and being able to look at what is distorted within your own system and the system in general, and what can be changed in order to create better individuals as we all are, but also better organizations and a better system for [00:03:00] all.

Yeah, and that's what we need. I don't care if you're, if you're from America, the UK, Australia, any, any country in the world, we all need better systems, right? They've been polluted with greed and, and all sorts of different corruption. So for us to become better. For our families to become better, our communities to become better, our states, our countries, the world.

This is an amazing topic. So, before we get into the details, let's talk about your upbringing. Where were you born? What was your upbringing like? What were the things that made you the woman you are today? Oh, that's that's a long story. So I grew up in Paris and I grew up in a very privileged environment.

I grew up in a, in an area of Paris, which is the 7th arrondissement, which is You know, quite a high, high level social environment. And I was an only child to [00:04:00] my parents who were 41 and 42 when they had me, which I'm 47. So, which at the time was quite different in a way already. And I went to Semi private Catholic school that only had girls at the, at some point.

And so I had a kind of very privileged Catholic within the system education where I, I did very well cause I was very good at school. I had loads of friends. And so I, I was able to learn about that system and navigate it very well. Nice. Now I grew up. No, because I don't know how far you this is my bringing until you know, I was until I started working really, but maybe I have to say that within that are bringing there was always.

A lot of experiences that [00:05:00] were mind expanding. So I traveled a lot with my parents. We went to you know, to Thailand. We went to Israel. We went to you know, Bali. So I saw, the world. I saw how to function in the world and I saw how to maybe be street smart but I appreciate the differences, you know, cultural differences and, and then I traveled a lot by myself.

So I'm, you know, I'm talking about travel, but it's maybe to depict the personality of somebody who is on a quest to learn and discover and explore what is there to be explored. Yes, and as you traveled as a child, I mean, a lot of times we don't appreciate it until we're older. When we look back, as you were traveling as a child and you're seeing the different cultures, when was it that you realized that, man, there's some serious differences, but there's a a thread of commonality?[00:06:00]

Yeah. I think that the first experience that I had was when I was probably very young. I was nine or 10. My parents were working and they had their, their jewelry business and they didn't have much time and they were working together. So. A lot of holidays I was sent somewhere and July was the month where I was sent to kind of in a summer camp in a way, but they had a purpose of me learning English.

So I started at nine, 10, 11. So I went to some places in Belgium, in Switzerland, and then I went to America. When I was 12. And so this is really where I, I discovered, you know, and especially when I was in the States because they have rituals and, and, you know, rules. And so I really discovered the American system and what it meant to, you know, educate a child in the States that was different in France.

And, and, you know, where, cause we could, I could see some patterns already [00:07:00] where all the French kids were kind of. getting together and they were like maybe 15 percent of the whole summer camp, but they were the kind of always the ones who were like, you know, making trouble and breaking the rules. So I started to think about those patterns and and yeah, and, and then I guess.

I, I, I lived in New York when I was 18, which was no, maybe 20, I think, which was very transformative for like five months I was doing an internship. But, you know, I also saw the American culture, I mean, the New York way of life. So it's been a continuous, exploration, really, and understanding, but also, then I worked in finance for 15 years and I was managing a team of 40 people across Europe and the Middle East, so, you know, that also really amplified my understanding that, you know, we're all human beings.

But we have been programmed in many different ways. And [00:08:00] you know, what is the program? What does it mean? And what are the good things about the program? The bad things about the program? And, and there is good and bad in, in every program, in every culture, in every society. So, yeah. If that answers the question, yeah, no, there's no right or wrong.

It's just, we're just looking through your life, seeing what made you who you are today. And then as you're growing up and as you're developing as a person, any highs, any lows, anything in between that you feel significant to bring us to today and then where you're heading, that's all we're here for. And our listeners are interested in growth and knowing the practical steps of what you achieved or overcame.

And how you did it so they can too. So you're doing great. Now once you're seeing these patterns and you're seeing different cultures and different obstacles, what does your mind and what starts developing your life once you [00:09:00] start observing these patterns? So I think I'm a very I'm somebody who is, has always been resolution oriented.

And so that has been shaped in me through my upbringing as well and, and, you know, what I've been exposed to. So I've been exposed to, you know, toxicity in my family, toxicity in some of my relationships. So I, I really developed what we call a codependent syndrome or a savior syndrome or a parentified child, but basically somebody who puts their needs away.

And you know focuses on the needs of the other all the others in order to avoid conflict and create a peaceful environment, right? So it's with that, you know, which was initially an inherited pattern, right? And was a part of this, it was something distorted [00:10:00] within me. But that actually, you know really supported me to amplify my empathy, right?

And my ability to feel things and to sense things. Because when you're in toxic environments, it's a survival mechanism. You know, like sensing every body language move or, you know, different sense of tone. Like basically you learn to feel the intentions of others in order to stay safe and to do, to take the actions that will be necessary for you to stay safe.

So, you know, it's with that. You know program in mind that I was always seeking resolution but at the same time, very strong in my sense of self. So, you know, I, I, I can fight, you know, with words and all of that, but, but seeking resolution, I, I always wanted to understand where everybody was coming from.

And so, you know, if we have a team with different You know, genders, nationalities, races, religions, all of that. I was always, you know, [00:11:00] trying to really understand where they were coming from and what, what was the, I was searching for the good intention in whatever they were saying. Right. So how can I, I, I see through some of the ego patterns, some of.

Some of the defense mechanisms and understand them so that I can actually access the good intention and from that place of good intention. Can we actually create a resolution? So I think this is what I've learned by You know, exposing myself to so many different systems and, and coming from, you know, who I am, which is somebody who, you know, fights for the good fight, fights the good fight.

Yeah. And that's so important. And to say, when you're trying to figure out what's motivating people and what they're thinking and to understand them, what have you found the best approach? So say [00:12:00] our listeners now are in a team environment and whether they're the quote unquote leader. You can still be the leader.

What are the ways that you could navigate a group of, you know, 12, 15 people and isolate the difficult ones and cut to the course you all find the commonality? What techniques do you use? Truth, honesty, right? So. What it really means to get to the core of somebody's intention is to really get to the core of somebody's intention, right?

And so the more manipulative people are, the more they will hide their true intention. So you have to seek the truth, right? And this is part of being a warrior of the truth. You have to go and seek it. So you have to ask questions. You have to pay attention. You have to look at the actions, right? See if there is alignment between the thoughts.[00:13:00]

The words and the actions so you need to pay attention to all the parts within your team that could be toxic or distorted, right? And you bring, you need to bring some light to that and see if you can transform that toxic pattern into something that is actually benevolent. And if two people are conscious, we all make mistakes, right?

We live in a system that, you know, is based on, on foundations that are distorted. So we've all been programmed, we all carry that toxicity within us. But if we commit to, you know, working against it, right, to, if we commit to stop tolerating those distortions and create something that is win win, that is benevolence, Then we can have conversations together, right?

We can say, this is what I'm observing. This is what it, how, what I feel. This is what [00:14:00] I need. Can we meet there, right? But we can have a conscious conversation. The less people are conscious, the more that conversation is going to be difficult because some defense mechanisms are going to be triggered. And you will have a, an ego conversation rather than, you know a higher consciousness conversation.

So it's that, but in order to have those conversations and in order to seek the truth, we need to be conscious. So we need to be able to see our truth, to see the truth of the situation. We need to be able to accept it, to receive it. And the more we are aware of all the unconscious mechanism within.

Humanity, because to be honest, there are some similar patterns. So the more you are educated on that, the more you can see them within yourself, within others, and you can actually work with yourself and with others in order to dismantle those negative, those toxic patterns.

So, taking, you know, I kept thinking about the Bible when you were talking, how [00:15:00] it talks in first, all over the Bible, but in first John specifically, it talks about taking everything into the light. Like you said, where's the truth, bringing it to the light, being totally open and transparent with each other.

Right. So, as you're taking into the light. You can only go as far as someone is willing to open up. Like you can use every technique in the world, but if somebody is going to lie, if somebody is going to deceive, you know, that's as far as they can go in that situation. What's your recommendation? So, you know, you don't want that cancer to spread throughout the team.

How do you handle those individuals? Yeah. And thank you. That's a great question. And I think the first skill that we need to develop is to be able to discern those people quick. Right? And and for me, it's again, it's a matter of seeing patterns. So if somebody is going to make a mistake, right? My role as a conscious leader and as you know, the CEO of my business is going to shed light on that, right?

And [00:16:00] I see how they respond. If they are honest about it, then, you know, that means change of behavior and we can continue to grow together. I'm going to monitor, but, you know, we can grow together. If there is dishonesty, I'm going to observe it, I'm going to note it, right? And then I'll see if the pattern is going to continue to grow.

If there is a second time, it's a pattern, right? So I'm going to question it again, because what really happens is that we can make mistakes, but when we do it like three times in a row, it's not a mistake. It's a choice. So my role in this is to identify whether somebody is making a mistake, lacks the honesty to take ownership of it, or is actually consciously making a mistake and not owning it because, you know, that's better for them, right?

Once we have identified those people, to be honest, they're not people we want to be working with. Because everything is going to be difficult, right? The [00:17:00] values, the core values, are not common. If they operate from dishonesty lack of integrity, and you know, that can, there is no way you're going to agree on a process and come to resolutions when you have challenges or opportunities.

Our core values dictate how we do things. So we are never going to be able to do things in a, in a way that is aligned. So it's just going to be a problem to manage, right? Sometimes we have to keep those people. But if we have to, we really have to question ourselves, like, you know, really, why do I think I need to keep that person?

Because you know, we, we tend to stay with comfort zones and sometimes we think people are irreplaceable and sometimes we're just overwhelmed by the idea of going through the whole process of replacing that person, right? But if, if for whatever reason, and it's a strategic reason that person needs to stay.

Then we have to manage [00:18:00] that relationship because we know that that relationship is not going to flow. There is going to be resistance. There is going to be some hiding. There is going to be some gray areas. And ultimately there is going to be a lack of performance. The potential of the performance of the role is not going to be honored.

If we have to manage that. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. There was a delay in the connection. I was saying that makes total sense. Total sense. Yeah. And before I, to finish on that, I want to say, if we have to manage that relationship, we have to manage it with truth, right? So truth is going to be the anchor of, of the light.

And, and so we have to be very clear in our communication. It has to be written, so there is trace. We have to be very clear with the way we give tasks or projects or, you know, feedback, everything, right? Deadlines, like everything needs to be very structured so that there is no room [00:19:00] for emotional manipulation, basically.

I like that term, emotional manipulation. That's so true. So true. Okay. So you're growing up and we kind of jumped ahead into concepts, but you start traveling, you go to New York on an internship from New York. Where does your life go, Marika? So from New York, I come back to Paris and I finished my studies.

And after finishing my studies, so I did I studied finance and economics and I did like a master's degree. And and after that you have to do a year of internship. To, you know, basically get yourself ready to work. And it was really hard for me to choose what I wanted to do because I, I kind of wanted to do everything.

I was [00:20:00] very good in math. I was very good in communication in languages. And, you know, I was very interested in. By business in general. So it was like hard to, you know, put me in one job. 'cause I was like, oh, but I'm, I'm gonna miss out on so many things. Anyway, I found an internship with Xerox, who is a, you know, a global brand.

And At my time which some time ago it was one of the best schools for marketing, right? Or sales. Everybody was like, you know, if you go there, you're going to learn like they, basically it's the school where they teach you to sell you know, printers and all of that. But like you would like an Eskimo, you would sell some ice cream to an Eskimo.

So I went there. And I was an intern. I was an assistant of of the marketing boss of an area in Paris and and I started to to work with the salespeople and, and that's when I discovered my market intelligence, because [00:21:00] basically I was responsible of maybe 15 products and I did all the market intelligence for all the products so that they knew what they were selling and where they were better than the competition and where they were not.

And so I learned very quickly how to sell, you know, and how to sell in a way that is honest and sell with, this is what, this is my offer. This is the value that it has. This is the price. We can have a conversation about the competition, but basically I learned to build certainty and solidity to a product so that you can go to market and feel confident and aligned with your products.

And and after that, I was, I was like, I'm going to get bored in this industry because I kind of, you know, it's a bit of the same all the time. Then I tried to work with my parents for three months and they had a jewelry business. And, you know, I knew a lot about it because when I was, so when I was young.

The whole month of August, I [00:22:00] was with them and, and, you know, many years they were doing a show and jewelry show in, in Monaco, in France. And so I was with them for the whole month. So I was going to the dinner parties and I was kind of selling jewelry as well. So I was very interested in the creative and beauty process of it as well.

So I tried to work with them for, I think, four months. And I realized that I was, it was not going to work for me that, you know, I was going to die. If I do that, I realized that I would you know, barely have a voice in the business that I would have to compromise and, and deny my power all the time that would be very toxic.

So I was like, I need to do something. And I spoke with a very great girlfriend of mine and I was like, I don't know what to do. I, you know, and she said, Oh, there is this friend of my husband. He has this financial services company in Paris in Trocadero. He's doing very [00:23:00] well. You should meet him.

I said, okay. And then two days later, I was in the office and of this guy and Philippe and And he said to me, you know what, what, what can you do? What's your background? And then he said, Oh, okay, great. You can be an intern in the in the analyst, you know, like research department and, you know, we actually looking for somebody.

So let me ask the guy. So we call him, he called my boss and he came and. You know, after five minutes, he was like, okay, do you want to start tomorrow at 6am? Like, okay. And that's it. And I came back home and I was like, okay, so I've landed like an intern, a long term internship in the, in the brokerage equity brokerage industry, like firm.

And I have to go there at 6am and, and, and I have no idea what to do. And that's how I started my career in finance. Now, let me ask you a question. In America, 6 a. m. is pretty early to start. Is that common in [00:24:00] your region of the world or was that even uncommon where you're from? No, it was crazy where I'm from.

Like in Paris, business starts at night. Okay. Okay. No, it was crazy. Yeah. But you know, that happens when you work on, on the trading floor because the markets are open all the time. So that was part of the fun, you know, to have to be there at 6 AM. And yeah, it was and I need a lot of sleep. Yeah. So where does your life go from there?

You get this long term internship, crazy's about to begin. And so I get this internship. I, I found it very interesting, but you know, it's like, I didn't know anything about finance and, you know, the financial markets. I, I mean, barely I was not one of these person who dreams about being a trader. But, you know, it was a very fun bunch of people and very intelligent, very inspiring.

And it was a lot of fun. So [00:25:00] I remember my boss gave me like three, I mean, four, five annual reports of Usinor, which is the RCLR, which is the steel company. And he said to me, okay, why don't you put all the numbers in the spreadsheet? And I was like, whoa, okay. And I didn't know how to do it. So, you know, I was asking questions.

I was, I had a friend who was doing this job. I said, I need to see you. But I really learned the job on the job. And and, you know, it was very stimulating. And so I, I did well and I managed to get hired as a junior equity analyst, and then I became a more senior, you know, analyst. And then I moved to a sales role in, in another company.

And then I became head of my desk in another company, and then I became head of equities. For Europe and Middle East, for New Age, which now belongs to Societe Generale. So I was 34 when I got that promotion. Very nice. [00:26:00] And then during all this, it's, I'm sure it's like a fire hose of information going in your brain, but you're learning, you're growing, you're jumping companies and positions and everything's going well professionally.

What's going on in your personal life at this time? Are you thriving? Are you struggling? What's happening? It's like chaos. So when I was 28 I had a boyfriend in Paris and we had been together for two years and you know, he was, we were like very in love and, and, and wanted to build together. And so I, I had a conversation with my parents and you know, to basically ask them to help me buy a flat with him.

And but you know, I was willing to take a mortgage. It was just, and they always had told me, like, we'll help you, you know, but that became a crazy conversation that, you know, was quite violent verbally, [00:27:00] emotionally. And it was a big awakening experience for me because my world was completely falling apart.

It's like, I don't, I don't understand. You know, I, I basically started to discover cognitive dissonance because I was like, I don't understand what they're saying now and how they're showing up now. It doesn't make any sense with who I think they are and, and who they told me they are. And, and so who's right, who's wrong.

And so I became sick. So each time my father was calling me, which was every month because we were, you know, you didn't talk for a while. And then we are trying to speak again. I was on the floor for like four days and I couldn't move and I was thinking I was going to throw up. So, but you know, and at the same time, like working super hard and doing great at my job and going to the office at 6am.

And so I started to see a therapist because, you know, I was, I don't know, 28 living in Paris and that was the solution. So I, I tried and It was it was a [00:28:00] big awakening for me at the time because I had to understand that how people behave and and the actions that they do are not. You know, a reaction.

They are not a response to you. They are not about you. They are about them. So that was, you know, a big thing for me. But you know, that kind of took me on, on a self developmental journey. Cause I was very interested in by what I was learning and I was applying that and I was seeing how. You know, applying that was helping me also understand my clients better, understand my colleagues better, and, and eventually manage them better when I, when I, you know, I, I, I became a manager there, I think the first, I was 27.

So, you know, I was young to, to start managing people. Excellent. And then as you're going through this, that sounds like a great deal of stress. What were some of the practical techniques or just mindset shifts you made? So if our listeners [00:29:00] like, I know exactly what she's talking about, what do you recommend for them to get help though?

Yeah. I would say the first thing is to realize that You know, you need some help. And for me, asking for help is the first sign of intelligence. I see a lot of people who are scared or too proud to ask for help. So, you know, this is really something that I want to first demystify. You know, I've been working on myself for 20 years, you know, and I never stop.

So it's that. And then it's about. Having a diagnosis of what really you need help with, help on, help within yourself, and finding the right person. So, you know, I, I always say, because that's, that's not so helpful, but I'm going to give a bit more here. I've got, you know, I come from the financial industry, so I love models.

And so one of the models that, you know, we use to [00:30:00] understand the system of individuals is that we are four bodies. We are physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual body. And so those four bodies need to be healthy and aligned together for us to function at our fullest potential. And so the first assessment that you can start to reflect on is What is the the note, the rate for each body?

Let's say one out of 10 is 10 is great and one is bad. Assess each body, right? How is your mental body? How do you function? How do you make decisions? Are you feeling clear? Are you feeling confused? Do you manage to have some distance with your thoughts, right? Or do you find yourself circling in, in mental loops?

All of that, right? It's basically thought mastery and, and mental health, right? So where are you there? And then we can look at the emotional body and, and, you know, you can do that in any order, really. Emotional [00:31:00] body is how well am I connected with my emotions, right? How well am I equipped to process my feelings?

What is my emotional agility? How do I bounce back, you know, if something happens? What's my level of resilience? You know, is my toolbox good enough? And, and, you know, do I have the support system that I need? So all those questions, right? And basically, am I able to respond to challenges and opportunities in a way that I'm proud of rather than react?

So that's also a rate for your emotional body. And then you look at your physical body and basically how healthy are you? How flexible, agile, strong do you feel in your, in your physical body? What's your level of energy? Do you know your physical body, right? Are you educated enough so that you know how to support your physical body to function at its best, right?

Again, you know, what's your support system, your doctors or whatever. And then the spiritual body, which is. The soul identity. How well are you connected with your soul [00:32:00] identity? How well do you know? Your purpose, right? How well do you understand that everything is interconnected, right? How well do you operate from a union and collaboration consciousness rather than a separation and control domination mindset, right?

So make all these assessments. And then for each body, there are. Specific things to do, specific you know, practices to work with but already that is, is is is a good diagnostic. And then you can ask yourself, what can I do to level up? Right. What can I do to support my mental body, my emotional body, my physical body, and my spiritual body?

So that's one point. Do you have some, because I have, I have another one, so I'll, I'll keep it for now. No, that's perfect. That's what this show is all about. Not just hearing about what you were able to achieve, but how you can encourage us, or at least a starting point of engaging that in [00:33:00] our life. And especially with family.

You know, like you said, everything intertwines. If you have one part of those four off, all of them suffer in a way. So especially with your family and personal things, and you're so sick from the stress, like you said, you're in bed. So how are you untangling that to heal and thrive in all four levels?

Yeah. You know, this is where self-care is crucial, right? It's and we say working on the selves, it means working, right? So we have to have that commitment first towards ourselves, that we are going to do whatever we can, you know, and, and we don't wanna put ourselves in position where we want to fail or, or shame, or blame ourselves.

But, you know, with compassion, how am I going to support myself to honor my potential? So that's, I am dedicated, I am devoted, I am committed to that, right? That, that's really the first step. And then you know, it's [00:34:00] about finding the tools and the practices and, and, and, and maybe leveling up on each body, you know, with that commitment to growth.

How can I level up my All of my four bodies with whom and, and and yeah, and you know, there it's a bit, it's going to be specific for each individual. Again, of course, there are some different levels of consciousness where we see some similar patterns that's at similar levels. So, you know, that, that's another, another model in a way that I can share.

No, thank you so much. So now you're working through these issues, you're killing it at work, you're growing, but you know, you have kind of an imbalance. Where does your life go from there, Marika? So my life well I'm very optimistic, I'm very joyful, and you know, I like to have fun, so I, I, I barely [00:35:00] go in the victim mentality and, and, you know, I more, I, I'm more like the warrior type and I'm like, okay, how do I make this better?

Right. So this is a long search and, you know, long quest and, and research, you know, on, on what it means to heal, what it means to transform. So, you know, I, and, you know, aside, I was, I was working and I was having the, the career that I just described. So, you know, it was but I, I did a lot of work on myself.

So I, I did a lot of therapy. I also did you know, I explored a lot of things. So I saw a lot of healers. I saw a lot of. You know osteopath hypnotherapist, psychics, like, you know, I really explored everything that was available. And I came across fantastic people. I came across people who were not good at what they were doing and.

I knew it or didn't. I came across people who didn't have [00:36:00] integrity. I came across people who were highly manipulative and taking advantage of vulnerable people. So that also gave me an idea of the system, right? And this is why I, I developed actually my own, I, my own process because I, I, I learned from everything, but also I learned.

How to create a system of development that would be very pure in terms of empowering people with the right tools to do good things. And you know, having this very clean from distortion that I had seen in the industry. So yeah, I'm a bit lost. So, so I worked on myself and I, as I was working on myself, I opened up you know, I, I, I opened up a lot of transformations within me and and at some points you know, but I work with some shamans.

I, I, you know, I, I did some I spent a [00:37:00] month in the rain forest in Brazil. So I, I really explored a lot of healing modalities and transformation modalities. And then in 2012. My company was being restructured and bought fully Societe Generale. And so we had the game of, you know, merger and acquisitions and, you know, who's going to be where.

And at the time my department equity was, they were doing well and, you know, we are doing what we were asked to do, but we were very small compared to the other organization who were like huge on equities. So in 20, 2012, my boss told me, Marika, your job is dead at the end of the year. But, you know, we love you.

So do you want to do this or that? And, you know, yeah, he actually said to me, do you want to be global head of research, which was a very interesting job. And I said, no I'm actually gonna leave the industry, which, you know, I've been contemplating for a year, but it was really hard to make that choice because.

It's a great job. [00:38:00] I like what I do. I, I've made it so that it's, you know, flexible and I'm making good money. But so I said, I'm going to jump. And and so I left and I gave myself two years to train in, you know, the different modalities that I was attracted to, and to see what I was going to do with it, right?

And so I, I trained as an integral coach for a year from a school that's called New Ventures West, that's based in California, that teaches integral coaching, which I think is very interesting because it's, it's not only how do I get from A to B, but also who do I need to become in order to B. So that's, you know, My line of work.

Then I trained as a clinical, I trained as a yoga teacher. I trained as a mindfulness teacher. And then I trained in clinical hypnotherapy and also in bioenergetic healing. [00:39:00] So, you know, many things, but really to understand. In those four bodies that are, you know, the mind, I mean, the, the emotion, the mental, the emotional, the mental, the physical and spiritual, and, and how to understand all the tools that are needed in order to work with those four bodies.

So I did that and then I started to coach people one on one. And I had a lot of clients from the financial industry because I had obviously credibility and authority there. And it's such a specific industry that, you know, if you know how it works, you're just much better to guide people at guiding people in the industry.

So I did that, and you know, I did well. But then, two years after leaving my job in the financing, financial industry, I left the father of my son. Because I realized that it was a toxic relationship. And as I was doing more and more self work, I realized that, you know, I had to... [00:40:00] Take that into consideration and, and, you know, take action.

So I also found myself in a situation where I was like, I need to either make this, you know, something that I can live from, or I need to go back to the financial industry. So I joined some masterminds in the US which were all about how to teach the coaching industry, the coaching business. It was very interesting because, you know, in the States, it really is a business.

It's really the proper industry and it's Australia as well. So I learned all of that and I learned, you know, how to create some trainings, you know, with cutting edge ways to do it. I learned marketing, but I had everything to learn because I knew a lot about my job in finance, but I didn't know much about, you know, what it means to run a business.

So that was a long learning curve, but again, very interesting. And, and so I, I started to think about my coaching as a [00:41:00] business and You built it with that in mind and with also in mind like always the performance and the results that we can provide for clients, but also the scalability and the impact that it can have at its, at its scales.

So I have developed different programs you know, because I quickly realized that we don't learn emotional intelligence. We don't learn systemic intelligence. We don't learn intuitive intelligence at school or nowhere, not even at university. Right. But we need to learn that. And so I was also getting bored because I realized that all my one on one sessions were, were teaching, then I was repeating myself.

So I was like, I need to, you know, automate this. But then I started those, you know programs with those trainings and modules. And so I developed a curriculum. So, and, and the biggest one is the Academy for Conscious Leaders, which is a three year program where you, you go from unconscious to unconscious [00:42:00] leader to conscious leader.

But then I did another program, a line for people in professional transition and all of that. And, and I could see clearly that the clients who were doing the modules were just growing much faster, much better. And, and they were also understanding the concepts much better. So they were also able, they were becoming able to teach those concepts, to embody those concepts much better.

But still, it was a curriculum. So, you know, I work with high level executives and they don't have much time. And so some trainings were really transformative and amazing for them. And some others were like, yeah, that's interesting. But, you know, it's not really what I need, but it's good that I know it.

Right. So, because I'm always, you know, passionate about making things. More efficient and more transformative. I was like, I need to find another way to make those teachings really accurate so that you can have it on the situation that you need at the time that you need and in the [00:43:00] content that you like to consult, to, to.

I'm looking for the word in English, but I don't get it. It doesn't matter. And so I've created the conscious library to digest the content, like the thought, the type of format of content that you can digest, right. And so I've created the conscious library, which is. All this, you know, library of this well of knowledge but that is now accessible in a different way with some very tangible questions that we all have when we want to grow.

So they are, they are in the three pillars of, of RIP, which is clarity, presence and creation. When you find questions such as how to navigate difficult conversations, how to make the right decision, how to prepare for an important meeting how to improve your resilience, how to release emotional.

Patterns, emotional triggers, emotional baggage, also how to forgive. So, you know, there is a lot of [00:44:00] content of transformational content there. And we are now testing that conscious library for organizations. And the idea is to give. All employees, and that's really the USP, all employees within an organization, access to that product so that they have the tools to grow if they want to.

But it's very clear that you have to do the work. You have to invest in yourself. You have to commit to growing. But if you want, the tools are there. So I'm very excited 10 years. Of mentoring like more than 300 leaders and five organizations that at every level within an organization, there are some people who want to grow.

And most of the time we offer solutions for the C levels where they have one on one and it's expensive. And I know because I charge those companies. Then we have the middle management where we know there is a need, but we don't really have a solution because one on one is too expensive. So it's like a [00:45:00] training here and there, but there is no Philosophy, there is no consistency in the pedagogy and for the rest of the comp of the company, there is really not much.

Right. Maybe a yoga class every month. And I've seen, as you know, I have deployed conscious leaderships in some organization that. There is a longing, there is desire, there is a need to grow at every level. And when we, you know, give people the possibility, it's, it's fabulous because they, they grow, you know, if your company is helping your people to grow, you're such a benevolent company and that shows in, in everything, right?

But in very tangible results, like it's going to help you attract and retain talents. It's going to help you identify the one who wants to grow and be like, Oh, okay. This one or her or she, or they, they want more. So can I hold that space for them? Right. It's going to help as well to, you know, unlock the power of inclusion [00:46:00] because diversity not done with inclusion is dangerous, but inclusion is really taking everyone's perspective into account and creating some win win solutions out of that, right?

So that's going to be a tool for that as well. It's going to be a tool to upskill, to reskill to to transform a culture into a conscious culture where we can, you know, seek the truth. We can have the difficult conversations, we can find resolution, and therefore our performance is gonna improve. You know, our p and l is gonna improve.

There is some data that shows that, you know, the cost of hiding is like 15% in the line in the p and l, so there is a lot of untapped. Leverage for success when we take care of our people. So I'm excited about this and you know, we are, we are, we are testing it with a few partnering organizations and we want to gather some data, some case studies so that we can [00:47:00] scale it with you know, experience and integrity.

That's excellent. And I, for some of our listeners around the world who aren't, let's say in the high end business sector, P& L is just profit and loss statements. And what Marika was saying is like 16 percent of hiring is a cost that's just coming right off your profit margins. So you don't have to be a business person to understand.

It's not the cost of hiring. Sorry. It's the cost of hiding. Oh, hiding, hiding. Yes. Right. When we hide, when we don't take responsibility, when we don't communicate, we don't own our, you know, our mistakes, that's hiding. Got you, got you, got you. So yeah, so even if you're not in business, this translates to every aspect of all of our lives, correct?

Definitely. And, and that's the beauty of, of this world because and, and also that's, that's why we retain talents because people are so grateful that through the growth that they are able to achieve at work, they are also [00:48:00] growing and becoming a better human being. So, you know, their social interactions, their family interactions are going to improve.

It's like the butterfly effect. Yes. So let's ask you this, between your birth and today, on this journey that we went through of your life, is there anything significant we missed before we transition into where is Marika today and where is she heading? No, I don't think so. I have a son who is going to be 15, 16.

Yeah, but that's it. Nice. Beautiful. Beautiful. And juggling any kind of, you know, your family. You have your professional life. You have all aspects of your life. Like you said, you, you mentioned four major categories. Some people say seven, but either way, it's a juggling act. So as you're going through these major transitions and shifts, not just in your company, but actually your whole career path, what was that like?

How did you keep a [00:49:00] handle on it at home? And how did, or what would you, what did you learn the hard way that you recommend to our listeners to get a better balance at home? Yeah.

I learned a lot of things the hard way, so but I think. You know, today we live in a world that, you know, it's, it's considered vucal, which is volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous, and that we have to accept that new reality. And we have to really understand that in order to function to thrive, to perform in that world, we need to change the way we lead.

We need to change the way we relate, the way we were, the way we are. And so it's very important to. Take care of ourselves in that transition. So, you know, self care, self work are really It's a must have, right? It's not a nice to [00:50:00] have. It's almost like a survival instinct. We, we are transforming. The world is transforming.

And so we need to you know, drive our own car, the car of our transformation. We, we need to, to pilot that, right? So, you know, it's about building resilience. And, and, and for me, never. As I said before, never going into the victim's seat, right? I drive my car, so I know where I'm going, and if I'm, if I have a fuel shortage, it's my problem, I created it, right?

And I would say, I've been a single mother you know, for many, many years, and it's It's a big lesson because you don't have anyone to blame, right? It's like, if it's not done, if it's not working, it's on me. So you really learn to take full responsibility for everything. You, you can't really go into, well, it's because of this or this or [00:51:00] this, you know, and if I don't fix it, it's not going to be fixed.

So I think that's key to resilience because we, we don't waste energy into that victim zone. And then we start to see, you know, how we created this and what we can create to actually make things better. And, and resilience is a big part of that. So, so that's why, you know, same as we have those four bodies, we have those four types of resilience, emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual.

And so we have to You know, build our resilience toolbox. That's, that's super important so that we can, you know, be a child that we can pivot, that we can you know, take on whatever is being thrown at us and still be focused and still you know, push forward. So, so that's one thing. And then the other thing is, is the intuitive intelligence, which is flow, right?

Which is something that really has helped me throughout the years. [00:52:00] And, and it's like. You know, if it's meant to be, it will be and you know, it's kind of observing things, right? And not being attached. If, if something's not working for me, it's a redirection. So if I have to pivot, I'm being pivoted, but for something better, right?

And so there is always this, how, how can I find the, something better? How can I be part of, of creating the, the, the redirection rather than holding on and being attached to the past, or the pain or the grief or the, or the, the whatever, right? So, so that's also a, a, a big element for me. Beautiful. So where are you today and where are you heading?

So we not only can connect with you, but help you get to your next goal. Yeah. So now I've got a few [00:53:00] objectives. One of them is to continue to share my message and to, you know level up my visibility and exposure. So, you know, I'm, I'm on podcasts, I'm doing some keynotes. So, you know, anything that. Is, is sharing the message is relevant to me and, and then it's also about demonstrating, you know, what conscious leadership can do, demonstrating what, you know, coming from a mindset of win win and collaboration can do.

Because I see systemic change as... You know, the need for a new system that I, I don't think will be rebirth out of the old one, but really more like we need to create a new system. And, and so you know, in, in that space, I think that we need to have the conversations we need to Talk about you know, amongst people who are actors of systemic change and [00:54:00] see what everyone is doing and see how we can support one another.

So that's a big part of, of you know, what's, what's ahead of me. And also, of course you know, selling the conscious library and, and, you know, being part of a transformative transforming culture through that tool into conscious cultures. And, and what does it mean for organization in general and the world in general, if we have conscious organization that start to think about their impact in everything that they do.

in every interaction and, and start to, you know think about those new systems and what are going to be their foundations, their, you know, rules of engagements. So that's also conversations I'm having. Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful. So now if someone wanted to get ahold of you and continue the conversation, check out your website, you know, basically see more.

[00:55:00] Of Marika and what you do, what's the best way for them to reach you? And what's the website? So the website is consciousleadership. org, www. consciousleadership. org. On the website, you can contact me, right? So I'm, I'm very open and, and, and pleasure, very keen to, you know, have some conversations.

You can also find a lot of free resources on the website. So if you want to know more about conscious leadership we have a quiz to assess your level of conscious leadership. It's in the resources tab on the website. There is also a free masterclass to, you know, I invite you into the concept of conscious success then we have a digest every month.

So, you know, if you would like to get on our mailing list, you can also do that on the website. You can also find all the podcasts that have been on, on the website, if you want to hear more of that. And finally, you can connect with me on LinkedIn, Marika [00:56:00] Messager, or on Instagram. We post every week, some, you know, very valuable content around, you know, what, what is conscious leadership?

How do we come, become a conscious leader, systemic change and the tools and practices that will help you towards conscious leadership. Beautiful. Well, we will put links to all that in the show notes. And I think in the notes that I originally received, you had a special offer for our listeners.

Does that remind you? Do you want me to mention what was typed in here? Yeah. Can you remind me what was typed? Yeah, no problem. I know for ladies and gentlemen, just so you know, not only is Marieke an amazing woman, professional, super busy, but she's waited patiently over nine months to be on the show today.

So that's why I make sure that what. She wrote that she was kind enough to offer us as a community. We were, we remember to help you help her help everybody. So you talked about a free [00:57:00] consultation call, and you gave your website, and then at the end of the website, it was Miss Miss Your name. Is that okay?

Correct. Yeah. So you know, if, if this is available and this is what you want, I would suggest that you go on the website and you do the leadership quiz, right? So at the end of the quiz, you have the opportunity to book a call with me so that we can together you know, see what's your next step. So that's, that's a great way to, to do it.

Otherwise you can just book a call you know, but that's more for, let's say collaborations and partnerships. Otherwise I would say take the quiz. Beautiful. Well, America, it's been amazing to be with you today. It's been an honor. I know I've personally learned, I know our community's learned and hopefully like our slogan says, we don't just listen to great content, but we do it.

We repeat each day so we can have a great life in this world and an attorney to come. Before we go [00:58:00] though, is there any other thoughts or anything we missed or any other final, just ideas you wanna share with our audience today? Yeah, maybe one last thing. What I'm seeing now in the evolution of, of the collective consciousness is really that we have to open up, open ourselves up to each other.

Right? So amongst conscious people you know, people who are actors of change, I'm really seeing in myself, in my life with my clients, with, you know, colleagues and stuff that it's, it's, it's a moment where we have to come together. Yeah. To understand, you know, what each and every one of us is doing, how we're doing it, and, and, you know, support one another and, and kind of create a grid of of, of people who are working for the betterment of everything.

Beautiful. Well, it's been an honor and a privilege to meet you. [00:59:00] Thank you for being here today. Ladies and gentlemen don't just listen to this episode, but do it, you know, contact Marika, continue the conversation, apply it in your own life and just make the world a better place for God's glory, for your enjoyment, joy and peace and to help others grow.

So Marika again, thank you again today. Thank you so much. Yeah. All right. Ladies and gentlemen, share this with people you love that, you know, it can help if you have a leader or someone you're following, that's kind of rough, maybe also refer them to Marika, right? So we love you. Have a great day and we'll see you in the next episode.

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