Narine Semerdjian | Being Authentically You: Living Life Well After Molestation, Rape, & Bullying

"It's important as parents to give your kids (older teenagers, i.e. 19yo) the room and space to be their own authentic selves." - Narine Semerdjian 

Molested as a child, bullied, depressed, and suicidal as a teen, today's guest talks about how she wanted to give up at times, but something inside kept her going. Then at 19, she starts learning to become her own person and not let the restraints and confines of society control her. While her journey has had ups and downs, she helps us understand the path from pain to healing. How it may look different for us all, but the core commonalities as the same. Ladies and Gentlemen listen now to this week's episode of the Remarkable People Podcast, the Narine Semerdjian story!

GUEST BIO:

Armenian-American's are known for their close-knit family culture, warm hospitality, and proud traditions. But proclamations of sexual pleasure, much less businesses in the sex toy industry? Such things aren't exactly common in most Armenian homes.

David & Narine Semerdjian run their business from LA, a melting pot of cultures that are often just beginning to accept progressive attitudes towards sexual health. From the start, the married couple decided to focus on products that would present the best possible picture of the sex toy space for more inhibited newcomers, while also keeping up with the latest trends in healthy product materials and manufacturing to please their consumers.

The Semerdjians do their best to simplify and reduce the overwhelm as well as the shame factor when it comes to product selection and purchase. Let their magnetic personalities light up your interest as you take the opportunity to listen to them passionately share their expertise with you.

EPISODE PROUDLY SPONSORED BY: 

• Ascend 2 Glory: Sales & Marketing Video Guide

SHOW NOTES:

Guest Contact Info:

• Email: narines@beyonddelights.com

Remarkable People Podcast Listener Special Offer(s):

• Use discount code: REMARKABLE10 at checkout for 10% off products in her store Beyond Delights.

Resources / References Discussed: 

• Supplements Narine was telling us about t

Transcript

Molest immigration, rape depression, and sex toys, all this and much, much more on the episode of the podcast, you are about to listen to.

Hello friends. Welcome to the Narine submerge episode. This week's episode, I don't even know how to title it or how to introduce it to you. We cover so much important topic and content Noreen's life is truly remarkable. She came over as an immigrant. She [00:01:00] was molested as a child. Her father was an addict.

Her upbringing was hard. She was bullied. She was depressed. She was suicidal at times, but something kept her going. Then at 19, she learns to just. Start becoming her own person and not letting the restraints and confines of society control her. So she goes through the ups and the downs and the lessons learned, and there's gold nuggets all along the way.

In this episode, whether you're a man or a woman, you can and should grow from it. So listen now and like all of our episodes, don't just listen. But do the good things, you know, you need to do in your life, repeat it each day. So you can have an amazing life in this world. And most importantly, an eternity to come.

So stick through the episode. The first half is a lot of NA's story, [00:02:00] but in the second half, we start breaking things down step by step, how she was, you know, helped herself and got help to deco. To recover from depression to get over a molestation, to get over to rapes, to have, you know, an unhealthy, maybe relationship.

She washed with her dad and mom, but then how she found the love of her life. And now they have a child together and how they're growing businesses. And how they take the taboo topic of sex, especially in Christian circles. And they're providing a real service and healthy solution to people who are exploring that kind of relationship with the husband and wife.

So again, this episode has so much great content, listen to it entirely. And then if you agree with me, reach out to nare reach out to me, share this with your friends and family. We hope it only benefits your [00:03:00] life. Enjoy.

Copy of INTERVIEW Narine Semerdjian Being Authentically You How to Live Life Well after molestation rape depression bullying and extreme loss and pain: Hey nare how are you today? Good. How are you doing David man? I'm doing fantastic. I just was talking to the listeners and they are pumped for your episode. So they just know a little bit about you and what to expect in this episode. But before we get started for the people who are just chiming in at the end of this episode, if they were to walk away with just one truth that you're gonna bring to them today, what's just that one main truth you want to bring to our audience today to be authentically you and don't ever worry about the opinions or judgments.

Anybody has excellent. Oh, yeah, no, we're gonna break down why and how and all the details. But ladies and gentlemen, Noreen's gonna talk to us about so much in her life and so much in that affects our lives as she goes through her remarkable story. So [00:04:00] at this time, Nareen can you start off? Where were you born?

What was your upbringing? Like? You have brothers, sisters, grandmas, grandpas. We go through the good, the bad and ugly and chronological order. So at this time, tell us the Marine story. I was born in 1986 in Armenia Yon . I am an immigrant born into the USS star, actually just a few years before the fall.

Funny story about my name it's Norine as most people know it, but. My given name is NAEH and I don't have it written as, so, because during the S Sr, if you don't have a lot of money, nobody gives you the right to name your child, whatever the hell you want. When my dad went to register my name, they said it's NAEH is too old of a name and they won't allow it to happen.

So my dad said, well, whatever the hell you wanna write as her name down, you can do. Go ahead and do that. I will raise my child as NDI. That's her name? [00:05:00] So I am noted, but I go by NA because a lot of Americans also have a hard time pronouncing Nadi. And during high school, when I had the opportunity to change my name, to the actual name that I was given, I chose not to, because one, the pronunciation's more difficult.

And two, I feared because I was bullied so much that. I would be called NA and NA for short shorts. Just didn't sound very appealing. We moved to America. Yeah. And for our listeners around the world, NA and America is a hair care removal product. Yeah. So, and there was a lot of commercials and I can see why you wouldn't want to associate with that name cuz you it's just opening a door for bullying, right?

Oh God. I've. I mean, I was bullied really bad as a kid, so I didn't wanna add more to it. Like racist slurs down to like sexist to everything. I've I've been through it all. Nice. Now going back to your family, I don't want cut you off. I want to keep the momentum going. But when [00:06:00] you were growing up, did you have brothers and sisters?

Did they have the same scenario or was it just you and your parents? My sister was born a year and four months after I was, and then we moved to America and in 1991, my brother was born as the only American in our household. Okay. Okay. Awesome. And then growing up, how old were you when you came to the states?

Then? I was about three and a half. I have memories of both Armenia and the trip here immigrating. And I remember, I remember when we finally moved into our first apartment looking out at the kids, playing in the courtyard and although they were Armenian, they were Armenian American. A lot of 'em were speaking English.

And I remember, I didn't understand a lick of English and I just looked at them and I felt so reserved. I thought, man, I can't be friends with these people because I can't speak their language, but I wanted to play with them. And I was, I, I, I was much a tomboy. Like I didn't girly stuff was okay for me, but I was always into [00:07:00] playing with boys because they just were more active.

They, they, you know, they wrestled, they ran, they, you know, they were more fun than girls were. Girls just play Dolly. I, I would get bored very quickly. Come to know that boredom as a ADHD, probably. I don't know. So I was just very sporty. I always wanted to be you know, a gymnastic or a gymnast, sorry.

Or I wanted to be a ballerina. I was very good at stepping on my tip toes at age, like up until six years old, I could walk on my toes without any support on the very tips of them. But my dad always refused. Plus we didn't have money. We grew up on welfare. My dad didn't want me to be in sports because he didn't want me to grow up to be a musclely woman.

I got you now in your, in the Armenian culture and the, to be a ballerina is a super high and esteemed [00:08:00] place in society, correct? Yeah. It's I mean, it definitely for sure is. I just think that my dad in general didn't want us to. Be involved in this scenario. I don't really know why the musclely part for gymnastics I can understand, but in regards to being a ballerina, we, again, didn't have the money and we're in a foreign country at such a young age.

Like my parents were in their 30 or late twenties, early thirties. And they didn't know a lick of English and you have to come to America and start working to, you know, gain as much income as you possibly can. We were on welfare and you know, I'll go through the whole story of like, Our struggles of you know, we, we moved to LA and then my dad got into a lot of trouble in his lifetime.

So we moved up to Fresno. I grew up in Fresno, California, which I hated. Absolutely because it just [00:09:00] felt like a dead end to me. And he was, he was involved in drugs. My dad and my mom had to raise three kids on welfare while my dad was on drugs. So that really made it difficult for us in regard to like having a normal lifestyle.

We , no, I love my dad's to death and I hate talking about this kind of stuff, cuz I, I don't wanna put 'em down. It's just, it taught us a lot. It taught me not to ever wanna be like him. In that sense, you know, I, I didn't want to be somebody who was just stuck in a dead end and, you know, taking drugs and, you know, I learned a lot about their relationship, which became very toxic toward the end of it.

And it, it affects, it affects kids more than, you know, and I, I had a very, very huge understanding of what drugs were at age, like five, six. And I, you know, [00:10:00] I, I understood everything wholeheartedly. I knew, I knew I knew when my dad was high, I didn't have to, I didn't have to see it. I did see it a few times.

You know, but, and, and he always tried to hide it, but you could just easily tell from a, your, your parents altered ego. What's, what's going on. Yeah. And when this is all happening, so you come to America and for you, you had memories of your Homeland mm-hmm and you go to LA, which is a really rough area back then.

And today it's not like TV makes it out to be, it's not like, oh, no, it was scarier. Then in the late eighties, early nineties, it was a shit show. It was like, it was a scary freaking city to live in. I remember just going to sleep and hearing sirens constantly it the whole night, the whole night. And then I was there during the the little revolution LA had after [00:11:00] oh my God.

I remember I'm forgetting his name. Was it Rodney? Oh, yeah, yeah. Rodney king. He was pulled out of the truck and yeah, beat, beat. Yep. After all of that you know, and the medias, you know, nobody knows still to this day, what the full truth was, cuz the media manipulates, the footage and the headlines. Yeah, of course.

Yeah. So it's just of course make headlines and make issues. Of course. And, and you know, I, I remember the riots. I remember one time we were walking in Hollywood to I lived in Hollywood, we were walking to a a Rite aid and I remember there was looters and the men ran out of there and you know, being a kid and your mom just grabbing you and pulling you to the side because who knows if they have guns or not, it was pretty freaking scary.

And, and then the fires, all of that. It was just a scary time to be in LA and , it was like a war . Yeah. Yeah. And you can laugh about it now, but it's some people know that's what they live in [00:12:00] today. Some people have just seen it on TV and some people are freaking in their own bubble and they don't know, but the reality is that type of environment is hard to live in.

It was, and, and back then in the eighties, I remember visiting California and there was a literal cloud of like like exhaust basically. Yeah. It still is city. Yeah. But it's not as bad. I mean, I remember how thick it was and you can look at pictures. I mean, it was thick and I, I was just like, wow. And I remember going back years later and being like, oh wow, they've really at least cleaned up moving the right direction.

but but yeah, so. When you were growing up, it's really your mom and your dad was, you know, he had his issues and you guys were knowing what was happening. Mm-hmm . So, as you were in school, did you feel like you had a support system at home or did you not want to bother your mom? Like how did that go with all the [00:13:00] bullying?

You know, bullying, didn't start until I moved to Fresno in LA because there's a bigger Armenian community. There were kids I could relate to because they could speak my language. They could you know, relate in regard to like how families you know interact with one another. I had Armenian friends we, we, we hung out in that sense and, and found a lot of relatable things.

But when we moved to Fresno I moved to the part of Fresno that isn't very favorable, which was downtown and in downtown is somewhat like a ghetto. I, I say I'm like, I'm like the girl from the streets, but you could never really tell if you've met me in person. You'd think I'm like this bougie white girl, but , I'm nowhere near.

Fuji or white. I don't know. so, you know, I grew up in the parts of Fresno that had a lot of Hmong cultures, Cambodians, Mexicans you [00:14:00] know, Hispanic people, it's it, it just, and I didn't find myself relatable. I found myself to be more scared. I was cautious of being friends, people weren't as friendly.

I started being called names until I became or one of my classmates was a Russian girl who, again, her being Russian, she was just more open to receiving me as a friend. This was third grade. And, and then at that point we just, you know, I, I found some relation with somebody. I remember a lot of the girls, there were just like, no, we won't be friends with you and blah, blah, blah.

It just, it was weird. I felt like I felt like an imposter in a lot of ways. Mainly because it just, I didn't, I didn't know culture, I didn't, I didn't know really much different the schools that we went to in LA with the whole Armenian population being bigger. I remember there was just one black kid in my class and, and I wanted to be friends with him.

And I remember [00:15:00] like him sitting next to me, but again, like growing up and being just one culture and, and your parents being from one culture and not ever seeing a different race within their country kind of limits your behavior because it tells you that a whole lot of other people are scary.

They're they're, they're going to be, you know they're, they're, they're violent. They're, they're going to hurt you. They're going, you have to stay away from them. And being raised in LA the first five years of our immigrated life was even harder because we saw just the bad things happen. You know, and it's, it was, it was an interesting time

Yeah. And there's oh, go ahead. No, I'm good. Oh, okay. There's a delay. I apologize to you in the audience. So there's one race, the human race, but all over the world, there's different cultures and nations. And that's something that people [00:16:00] just don't seem to grasp. Like if you are Armenian or if you're Russian or if you're Italian or if you're Chinese, or if you're Jamaican, wherever you're from in the world, there's a national pride and there should be, there should be that.

And there's different cultures and there's healthy conflict, you know, like healthy conflict, meaning like they're proud of their nation. So, you know, there's always a little rivalry, but when it gets to that out of balance and that torturous and that picking on and that just violence that's wrong. And it doesn't matter where you're from.

So for people who aren't, you know, if they've never experienced culture outside of their own, like what you were describing LA polarizes, you know what Marine had to grow up and it polarizes the extreme mm-hmm, where you don't just have these different nations and, and cultures, but you have this warlike mentality that's not healthy.

Good. And it's fostered by all the liberals trying [00:17:00] to stimulate media and dependence on the government. Yeah. So contrast, like I grew up out of Boston and there was the Italian section, the portugese section, the Chinese section, but everybody pretty much got along. I mean, you always have, people are gonna war, you know, people war within your own family, within your own town, within your own city.

It just keeps going to the world. Right. If there was aliens, we we'd unite as humans and then fight an alien people just like to fight it's our sinful nature. But in new England, one thing I loved is we just, all, we made fun of each other and teased each other, but we all got along, you know, mm-hmm , mm-hmm , there was pros and cons and strength and weaknesses to all the nations.

Mm-hmm But it's sad to hear you didn't have that, but at the same time it made you the strong woman you are. So let's continue with your story. And also to just, it's not your story, but it's part of it. During this time he had a younger sister and brother, did they have a similar experience or because like your brother was [00:18:00] born in the states, did he acclimate better or was it the same for all three of you?

Good question. Honestly, I think my sister, I would describe my sister and my brother more ballsy than I than myself. Like they, they would not be afraid to run their mouths if they had to like saying the word shit for me was the hardest thing to do until I was about 20. And, and that became. Something that I, I developed, I developed a trucker mouth because I felt like I, it was the only way I could defend myself any longer beyond that point.

My sister, however, had no problem ever defending herself. I, she made friends a lot easier. My brother made friends really easy. He was, I don't know they were, they were similar in their, in their personality, personality traits. Whereas I just, I was more reserved, more introverted than either one of them had been.

So I can't really speak on their end. I know their experiences were different [00:19:00] growing up almost similar, but again, my, my sister just adapted a lot easier than I did with a lot of. Yeah. And the reason why I was asking that is I just didn't know. Did you have some kind of internal family support system or understanding, or was it, yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I mean, so I mean, even though my sister and I were very close and we did experience a lot of the things like she'll tell you, she'll tell you about how, you know, she would beat people up, whereas I would get beaten up, you know, she, she would, she she's able to defend herself. My brother's able to defend herself.

I was not . I mean, I did, there were times where I would beat a few people up cuz I had to, but it just, it, it didn't, I don't know. I can't really speak on their, on their behalf as much. I, I never really asked. That's a good question. I'm gonna ask them yeah, no, no problem. Like, Hey, that's what the show's about.

Hopefully, you know, our audience grows. I grow, you grow. [00:20:00] We all grow together, right? Yeah, definitely. All right. So now between your birth and through. High school. And you know, when you moved to Fresno, did we miss anything significant that you want to cover before we talk about the high school and moving forward?

No, no. I mean again, it was, oh, I mean, with being on welfare, my dad being on drugs, there was a period where we were homeless. Pretty much. We ended up somehow living in somebody's bedroom at one point, I don't remember for how long. And again, it just, I feel like these hard edges of like these experiences that have happened in my lifetime have definitely showed me a lot of empathy.

And given me a lot of perspective on a different, a whole lot of varieties of lifestyles, cultures, types of people. I don't, I don't, I don't really judge anybody based off of where they came from. What's happened to them in their past. You know, it, it, it doesn't really matter. It matters how we move forward [00:21:00] from it.

Yeah. When you said that it was beautifully stated, remind me of Martin Luther king. He said, you know, we want to judge people based on the content of their character, not the color, exactly skin. Exactly. That doesn't matter if you're purple, green, blue, black, white, yellow. It's what's what are you made of in character and heart?

Yeah. Cause we all are the same, man. I, I hate hearing. I'm not saying there isn't bigotry. I'm not saying people aren't born more, you know, in a better situation. Mm-hmm but like we're discussing, okay. It doesn't matter what situation we're born in. What are we doing with it? You know? Right. If we're given one talent, five talents or 10 talents, are we sitting on it?

Are we spending it or are we investing it right. And that's something that, you know, everybody has the same equal footing. So you are now. In high school. Yes. And you're in a place you don't really like, [00:22:00] I hated high school. It was the worst fucking experience. Can I cuss? Yeah, just mark it as explicit. This is all about being real and honest.

Don't worry about it. Well, I mean, yeah, high school was just a terrible experience in itself because you know, my first memory of, so I, I'm a very open person. I don't hold back. What is on my mind, if I think something, I will say it. And I remember in middle school, actually, this was, I think maybe eighth grade.

It was a new middle school. We moved uptown. I didn't know anybody. I made friends with Armenians because that was just comfortable for me. I didn't agree with them. I didn't like them. I just was friends with them for the benefit of not being alone because I was afraid to be alone. And. I remember making a comment about one of the girls in school and saying, oh my God, that girl is really freaking hot.

Like she's really pretty. And my friend turned around to me. She goes, don't say that they're gonna think you're gay. And I looked at her and I'm like, does that mean I'm gay? [00:23:00] Cuz I thought a girl was pretty, you know, is, is that, is that something that makes me just, you know, and, and talking about like all the crazy stuff that's going on with kids and you know, raising them in an open culture and yada yada, like if we give people the idea that making a comment about somebody is makes you gay.

And it's so wrong in so many aspects. It's first of all, not even a correct association of what gay is, and nobody's educated on the whole topic of sexual, anything in regard to knowing what even a transgender person is or, and what they have to go through. And you know, what queer is, what is the definition?

How do, how do queer people identify as queer and why? You know, it's, there's just so much that we don't know. And, and in high school I felt like I always felt like I had to keep my mouth shut, because if I said anything, people would really kind [00:24:00] of jump at my throat and find me to be this not so good girl person, like when I, when I was young, when I was younger up in.

You know, elementary school, I was more more of a troublemaker. There was a lot of things I would do to get into trouble because it was fun for me. I just, I would get bored sitting in the house and playing dollys. So I would, you know, for example, I would go and play with electrical units into our apartments and shut 'em off.

And, you know, I, I would kind of bring my sister along cause she was my Guinea pig. But in, after I feel like puberty, I started just shutting down because I, I felt like one being judged was very harsh. I, I, I started growing up thinking or my parents, the only sexual education we ever got was you have to be a Virgin until you're married.

And that's pretty much it. I remember asking my mom, why do boys have penises? And girls have like, what do girls have like [00:25:00] that? What, what is, you know, I just, you. You don't really see anything, but boys have penises kindergarten cop. We should just rent you that movie and you'd be done. Yeah. Boys have penis.

Girls have vagina. Yeah. I love that actually. But you know, my mom's explanation was boys have penises and girls have this, which is a whole, and she showed me with her hand and then she just kind of stuck her fore finger in the hall. And she's like, this is, this is the way that the world works.

Basically. This is sexuality . I didn't, I didn't feel apprehensive at all to talk about my mom or talk about these things with my mom, but my dad never really brought up the conversations. But I remember when I started my period, he, he went into talking about How I'm a woman now and how he used a word I never heard before for virginity.

And I was like in Armenian and I was like what does that mean? And I asked him, you know, forwardly when he said it and he goes, oh, that's something you'll ask your mom later. I was like, okay. [00:26:00] But there's this huge threshold that you can't cross as an Armenian girl, because you have to be this goody two shoes and you have to uphold the family values and you can't make them look bad and you can't do this.

You can't do that. So I basically shut my mouth up. I didn't know anything about sexuality. I obviously was interested, but nobody ever really talked about it. The sex said we got in sixth grade was. Pretty shitty. Nobody ever really teaches you anything other than you need to be abstinence so that you don't get pregnant.

This is how you get pregnant and yada, yada oh, I remember my parents didn't even let me go to that sexuality class. I cried and I was bullied about it actually, because I, I wasn't allowed to go and so my mom felt bad enough to like, let me sit in at the last day of it in sixth grade. So yeah, high school was torture.

I actually graduated in three years because I wanted to get a, get the hell out of there. My small group of friends just [00:27:00] didn't feel like they were helping me Excel. They were holding me back from really authentically being me. And high school was just a huge depiction of that. And I just, I did everything I could and I graduated early with honors and.

And then went into college with, you know, being on the Dean's list because I, I went in from feeling like I was really stupid to hanging out with people who had good grades, because that challenged me. And this is a, a pattern I repeat throughout my whole life. I, I, I really think it's important to hang out with people who are better at you in certain aspects to life that you want to really Excel in as well.

So I always hang hung out with people who got better grades than me, because that's what my parents wanted me to achieve. It's not something I really cared for. It was just something I needed to do to validate the love that I always crave for them. And again, being the oldest sibling in an Armenian culture, I was just always expected to take care of my [00:28:00] siblings.

I wasn't given as much attention and this is something I did talk to my sister about, like my brother 100% got all the attention because he was the youngest and he was a boy being a boy gives you a higher authority gives you higher, like everything basically in, in an Armenian culture and being a girl makes you kind of, I felt like a slave in a, in a lot of sorts.

I always thought I never wanna grow up and be a woman to just take care of the freaking household. I don't wanna just have kids. That's not my purpose. That's not what I wanted to be. And I I even told my dad around. I think, I think I was in middle school. I just looked at him and I said, dad, I know what I wanna be.

When I grow up and said what? And I was like, I wanna be a traveling business woman. He looked at me. He goes, not woman. But what did that mean? That meant woman is not a Virgin, but a girl is. And I thought, well, okay, here's, here's another thing again, shutting me down as a woman saying, I cannot express my sexuality.

I cannot express any [00:29:00] kind of ideas I may have of wanting to obtain power or really chasing my dreams and lot, a lot, a lot. There's just a whole bunch of shit that happens. And I could blame Armenian culture, but also at the same time, it gave me the authority to say, you know what? You all could just fuck off.

And I'm going to really own my own authority and say, I'm gonna do what I want. And I did that after I was 19. Yeah. And I think what you're, what you struggled with is something that most cultures, even within America, you know, there's subcultures and some societies are definitely more misogynistic.

Totally some. Yeah. So, I mean, there's different levels of it. I mean, you have cultures still to this day, across the world that women are treated like dirt, like more than, less than an animal. And then there's other cultures where they're above and I think everything needs to be balanced. And I don't know about you.

You don't have to agree with me at all. But [00:30:00] my personal belief, from what I seen, what I've experienced, what I read in the Bible, what I've just observed in other cultures is men and women are different. Yeah. They're equal, but similar does not mean the same. So men and women are equal. One is not better than the other, but they have different roles at times in life.

Mm-hmm, just like my heart and my liver. If my heart starts working, like my liver I'm screwed. right. You need both of them to exist. And in a family, how God designed it as you have a mom and dad or dad and mom, however you wanna say it. And they both have an intricate role. Mm-hmm but not one is better than the other.

Right. Different responsibilities, different like different. Like if my kid, my kid broke his arm when he was growing up, right. Did something he wasn't supposed to do fell down the stairs, snapped his arm in half. He got up and I was like, Hey, let me see it. All right. It moves, you got full range of motion.

We're gonna wrap it [00:31:00] up, put a little freaking old lady cast on, like, you had carpal tunnel, then you're gonna be fine. We were on vacation. Right. I'm like, I'm not gonna go spend $3,000 to pay for a doctor's visit to do the same thing. Well, that was me as a dad, but where did he get the love and comfort right.

From his mom. It's like, oh, come here. You know? Yeah. And he needs both of that. So men and women, like, I love how you said in your culture girl was a Virgin and a woman was not. Yeah. So did they also have the status of lady like in America and it's Italy? The culture I grew up in a woman is female. An older woman, but a lady has class.

It's like a man and a gentleman. Is that an Armenian culture? You do well being a lady. Yes. I think is required. Whether you're a girl or a woman it's, it's just like this, it's this expectation that you just have to uphold to be society's [00:32:00] Guinea pig. You, you have to be the perfect everything.

Like, you know, it's, it's, it's hard to explain in terms of like lady, woman, or girl. But you're just, you're just required not to be anything that's deemed inappropriate. Yeah. And that would be, that would be a lady in general, but the what the girl and the woman you know, kind of breaks is, is the virginity factor you call.

A woman a woman after she's married because it's just a different term. It's the, it's the way the words work. They're just, it's not woman as just a, a female it's woman because you are married. And then there is girl, which is OC cheek and OCTE is I, I guess it would be considered girl in general, but mm-hmm once you break your [00:33:00] virginity, you're no longer an OC you are a Anique or you are.

Yeah. That's pretty much it. That's awesome. I've never, I heard that before, so that's super cool. Like in America it's a girl and a woman is just the difference more in age. Yeah. And so in our meaning culture, it's sexual sexual activity. Yeah. So that's, that's cool. All right. So now you're 19. You're like pH forget this.

I am not gonna con you know, just stick to the societal norms. I was told up until this point. You're just kind trying to get through school, get out. You don't want anything to do with that culture because it's just harsh and like a inner battle and external battle every day. Now you're 19. You're going to college.

Where does your life go from there in Iran college? I actually started off in high honors in college. I moved down back to LA because I swore I would never live in Fresno again. I did [00:34:00] community college down in LA. I came back to Fresno because our house caught on fire, and I always felt like I was responsible to take care of my mom.

Her emotional wellness, her health, all of that. And my mom did pull two to three jobs. To support our family, because even though my dad was off drugs at a certain point, he started a gambling habit and that gambling habit didn't help us in any way. She had to pull double hours to basically financially support us and give us the life that, you know, she wanted us to have.

And you know, my, my dad was always around. He just never really participated in our life. Very much other than like setting a certain stand, like standard and rules that we always had to follow. Like, my dad always basically was hard on my sister and I, but not my brother because we had to get the good grades.

He, he would actually make us after school stay in eat, [00:35:00] like we'd get home from school, we'd eat. And then basically from like the whole time after we eat until 7:00 PM, we were required to study and sorry, my throat's getting dry, but You, I, I like, I that's where the whole honors part came in and I wanted to really give my mom, you know, that I wanted to validate her feelings and knowing that I am very much what she wants her me to be and getting on the honors.

I, I developed a love for photography in high school. I got invited to Washington DC to compete in a contest because of a photo I did that actually won first place at the local fair here in Fresno. And. And I went down to LA to study photography, fine arts film. And that, that love for art just really developed in me because I could, I could see certain things in black and white and it just made so much sense to me, but color [00:36:00] was overwhelming.

Mm-hmm and that's, that's where photography really kind of, you know helped me see things a little differently. I, I did battle depression in high school. I did have suicidal thoughts. You know, there were several instances when I would really try to attempt suicide because it just, you know, life was always difficult for me.

It was, it was difficult for me to be understood. It was difficult for me to articulate anything and nobody really emotionally supported me in that regard. Because again, even though I could go to my sister, she didn't really, she didn't really consider my feelings very serious and she would bully me too sometimes.

And, or my cousins, like it, it just was a constant bullying thing. And I was always called stupid grades didn't, you know, meet up to anybody's standards, going to college being in the high honors, made my mom really proud and that made me happy to [00:37:00] make her proud. But once I started going to college and, and I was required to write like 30 page essays every week I was like, oh my God, this is so stupid.

And so like, I don't understand what writing this paper is going to establish in my lifetime. And I started really giving up on school. I thought this isn't for me. Like, why, why am I gonna go to college? I'm I'm trying to be an. An artist doesn't need to go to college to become an artist. An artist just needs to find the right people create art and just really, you know, delve into whatever they're trying to get into.

So and my mom supported me in that whole artistry because she comes from an artistic background as well. And I, I moved back down to LA after I was back here because I wanted to support my mom, but then I thought, well, whatever, I can't be here anymore. And I got into dance finally because I just really stepped up to my dad and said, dad, you know what?

You never let me go to ballet, but I'm gonna go to ballet now at 19 years old [00:38:00] he laughed about it. But you know, I did what I wanted to, I, I, I got really heavily involved in Latin dances. The Latin community, I got into ballet, I got myself out of Fresno. I moved down to LA again, I got a job in fine art, photography studio.

You know, I, I really was involved in. Wanting to participate with so many artists developed this big Rolodex of people I knew. And, and then eventually opened up my own art gallery to, to help host these artists work. And I had the ideal job. I really strived hard for it. I, I made it happen. And then I got fired.

Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen, I clicked the wrong button. So when you were doing all this and you had this moment where [00:39:00] you started, you know, saying I've had enough, I'm gonna live my own life and it's going, you know, well, I want to go back just to the suicide cuz so many people get bullied and they make a temporary, they make a permanent decision for a temporary situation.

Yeah. And now thank God you're in a whole different world. Right? I mean your life is different and better. But what kept you going back then? And it may be, you just barely got by and now you've learned, but back then, what kept you from committing suicide? Cuz there's people who are listening and like they've been connecting with you for the last 40 minutes.

So what kept you from actually making that wrong decision of suicide? The only thing that kept me going was the thought that I would disappoint my mom and the pain I would give her. And I didn't wanna cause her pain because of something I felt so dis dis comforted in. And I, [00:40:00] I just always thought about her face and what would happen to her because she's had such a hard life with my dad up until that point.

And you know, she worked so hard to do everything for us that I just thought it, it can't be worth it to just kill myself because I can't imagine what I would do to her for it. because of it. And that's, that's what kept me floating basically. So that love and empathy for your mother is what kept you going mm-hmm and aren't you glad you didn't make that decision.

Yeah, so ladies and gentlemen, as bleak as things sound as bad as your environment is as sick as you may be. If God didn't want you here, he'd take you home. He is not vindictive. He is not a person that tortures people. He loves you and don't make a decision that you're, you can't change, cuz you're gonna hurt everybody around you.

Oh God. It's I mean fast [00:41:00] forward to two years ago, you know, my brother passed away in a car accident. And the, the pain that you live with is hard for yourself in, in regards to loss of a loved one, especially a sibling at such a young age, What's harder to live with is the pain you see your parents live through every day after your sibling is gone or a loved one is gone.

And, and it's, it's, it's hard to see, but it's important to talk about and really do something about and I'm trying not to get emotional here, but it's really important to like assess your depression. You're going to go through it. You need to really talk about it. You need to seek the help. In regard to like therapists, maybe it's if you go to church, you could talk to your pastor, you could talk to your friends, nobody is gonna understand what you're going through unless they've been through it before.[00:42:00] 

But it's, it's really important to seek the help because you're gonna be stuck in your head and in your feelings. And you're gonna feel like life doesn't matter. And there's really so many things you can't control in life. But again, don't, don't judge yourself for being in the position that you are.

You're gonna feel angry. You're gonna feel sad. You're gonna feel lost. You're gonna go through all those emotions. Allow yourself to do it. , but what I think the most important thing to take from all of that is having the faith in yourself to move forward and have a purpose to do something for somebody else.

That's going to really launch you forward outta your depression, outta your, you know, suicidal thoughts outta your anything like you, you know, it's you, I, I see my parents not feel like they have a purpose. Well, my mom, more than my dad, my dad feels like he has a purpose. He [00:43:00] wants to establish a, a business.

He wants to establish like a, a side income for himself and so on and so forth. And he's in his sixties now he's gotten his shit together finally. You know, and, and my mom on the other hand feels like she has no purpose left whatsoever in her lifetime because she's lost a child and. And, you know, it's, for me being so young, I felt like I had no purpose also because I lost a brother and, and you feel a huge gap in your life and in your body, it's, it's like you lost a limb, but you, then you, then you then begin to really think about the other things you can do for people to help them in these types of situations.

You know, my brother battled drugs, my brother battled a whole lot of different things. I'm I, I really believe he had ADHD or D one or one or the other. He was very entrepreneurial. He had all these really great things. He could have lined up for himself, but he also chose to do things the wrong way because of the patterns he learned from my father.

[00:44:00] And it's really important to be aware of yourself, be aware of your patterns. What are you picking up from your parents and, or your surroundings, your peers, and, and how is that affecting you? How is that influencing you? How have you become a better person? From who you were yesterday and who are you hanging out with, is that person you're hanging out with really making you strive to be a better person?

Are you, are you really achieving goals? Are you you know, are you just living live? I mean, even though my brother had a hard life, even though he got into a lot of trouble and did a lot of bad things, he freaking lived his life to the fullest. He made sure of that because he was so driven to do so and experiencing in so many different things in his lifetime.

And you have to do that for yourself. You have to really live your life and do it to your own desires. Don't do it to please other people do it because it makes you happy, but do it for [00:45:00] other people and then influence other people to do the same.

Yeah, that's very well said. And that ties into the purpose at the beginning. And there always is a balance there, like you said, live that life that is filled with purpose and you know what God intended for us. Right. That's where we have the most joy and peace, but then we don't live it. Selfishly, we use that those gifts, like gifts are made to be given away.

You know, one of our other guests said that Dave Combs, a gift is made to be given away. Yeah. So if you've been given a gift as a singer, as a dancer, as a steelworker, you know, if you're a great janitor, it doesn't matter. You use your gifts for other people. Yeah. So let's do this. So many people, myself included struggle with depression.

Mm-hmm and depression can be caused from all sorts of reasons. But most of it is our life experiences. And whether we can't accept it or we're comparing it to a standard that's not realistic. What were the [00:46:00] things you did Nareen to help you? So our listeners can say, okay, ID help. Nare let me try this.

What are some steps you recommend taking to help get through the depression? I think diet has a big role in how you chemically react in depression. So if we're eating a lot of processed foods, sugar carbs, it ultimately what your body does is it goes into like the state of Like, it's just trying really hard to work on making it self functional, but it's slowing everything down for you.

So, you know, I'll go into, like, I was diagnosed with endometriosis, like the whole sexuality, sexuality aspect also. But before I jump into that, I, I realized because of my endometriosis, that my diet had a lot to do with affecting my endometriosis was you know, and I, I took a holistic approach versus a medicinal approach, which is what Western medicine really does.

[00:47:00] And I started changing my diet. I started eating less dairy. I started eating less sugar. I started eating less everything and it takes little baby steps. It's not about cutting it all out at once because that is so impossible to do. If you have the strongest willpower in the world. Oh God. Go for it, but I know it's a struggle.

It's about taking little steps, drink water instead of coffee, you know eat fruit instead of sugar, like sugary treats. I mean, if you really want something sweet, eat a grape, it's got the highest sugar con content from anything like it's sometimes sweeter than sugar is. So I think the diet aspect of, you know, changing what I was doing for myself helped a lot because it pulled me out of a fog.

And then, and then once I was out of the fog, I was a little more capable of understanding my patterns and, you know, the psychology understanding your psychology and where you've picked up that depression, cuz your [00:48:00] parents have probably taught you that not directly, but indirectly have taught you that through the patterns that you've been, you know, exposed to growing up.

You really need to figure out what is triggering this depression? How is it triggering it? Where have I picked this up from? And how, how can I really re rewire this so that I don't think this way anymore or feel this way anymore. And those are, those are steps I've taken in my lifetime. Also I've taken herbs.

You know, vitamin D deficiency is one of the huge, huge factors in our lives that cause depression take vitamin D I think you'll notice, you'll notice once you take vitamin D a few days after you'll notice an uplifted mood you'll notice you're more energetic. Maybe you won't have as many thoughts of depression.

[00:49:00] Also magnesium is something that I discovered in the last three years of my life that really helps with depression and curving your anxiety. Take it at nighttime before sleeping. It's it's really awesome to even like, relax your body, relax your mind, relax your muscles. Those, those are definitely like things I've done.

It's mostly diet related. Understand what you're lacking and just work on those things. Yeah, I think that's excellent advice. And the only thing, I mean, I've experienced those same things myself I'd add is start today. Don't just listen to nare and wait till you have cancer. Don't wait till you're sicker or you're more stressed or you're you go from depressed to a nervous breakdown.

Yeah, start today. Yeah. And vitamin D I had the same thing. I was so tired all the time and I was going through a hard season of life. Mm-hmm so stress was through the roof mm-hmm and they [00:50:00] were testing me for everything. And at the end of the day, you know, when a guy in his forties, what did they say?

Oh, it's testosterone. it's vitamin D I, yeah. Literally bought a $20 bottle and took that 5,000 international units every day. And I feel great. Yeah. That vitamin D is a game changer. Magnesium. Banana before bed. I eat a half a banana every night before bed and I sleep deeper and better. And if you do the research have you ever read about bananas before bed?

No. Yeah. Potassium magnesium are in it. Oh right. All these dot all these dots. Give you these drugs, cuz they want to push big pharma. That's freaking a banana eat the damn banana, unless you're allergic, eat a half a banana or a banana before bed. You're gonna sleep like a baby and it's it's you can read articles on it.

So yeah, my advice is do what Maureen says. Try it. You know, there's a place for big pharma, but if you can avoid it, avoid it cuz it just caused more issues. Yeah, [00:51:00] definitely. I, I think getting sometimes outta your space helps with depression also, and we're not always in a situation to get ourselves out of a space.

Like for example, I am in Fresno right now. I don't wanna live in Fresno that depresses like the crap outta me, but. Here. I am trying really hard and that this is what I'm looking forward to is how hard I am actually trying to get the F out of Fresno. I'm I'm not, I'm not gonna be stuck in this mindset that I'm in a space that I don't wanna be in anymore.

I'm going to think about how can I do something to produce some value to somebody else's life, so that it affords me the capability of getting the hell outta here. And you know, it's always about forward thinking. It's, don't, don't sit there and think about what your are, you know, stuck in when, when you wake up and you start thinking about all your problems, you're gonna keep yourself in your problems.

Joe Dispenza, listen to his words. He is like, [00:52:00] amazing meditation definitely has helped me a lot. I, you know, I meditated during pregnancy and I have the chillest baby anybody has ever met. Like, they're just like, how is he so calm all the time? Because I meditated, like I didn't allow myself to build up anxiety because that's what it you're passing down to your child.

You know, and, and my, my reason for doing the things I'm doing is to really help not only my child, but my nieces, my nephews, and all the kids in, in the world, like after me to, to have really better lives, I, I want to help them achieve the best that they can through all the hardships that they're going through.

Awesome. So what we've done today is we've covered a lot of great topics and you're given great advice and things that people can apply to their life, but we've skipped around and that's my fault. So I apologize. so let's go back to when you're 19 and move through to. [00:53:00] anything significant, anything that ties into this?

Like you mentioned your brother passing away. I mean, those are huge life moments that make you who you are today. Mm-hmm and nothing's an excuse for our failures. But when we learn from the past, we just become stronger. So when Marin is 19 to today, bring us through that journey 19 to today. So 19, I was in college.

We definitely did some rebellion. My sister and I, we started going out, stayed out late, went out to clubs, did a whole lot of sneaking around because my dad wouldn't allow us to do anything. And we just really started taking control of our lives versus like always being told what to do. We felt like we were old enough even though, you know, a 19 year, really not old enough or understand too much.

But you wanna live your life. And I think parents it's important as parents to give your kids the room and space to be their own [00:54:00] authentic selves. I think it's really easy for us as parents to say. I want you to be this way, and this is how I'm going to give you the love, but that's conditional love.

It's not, I'm holding a space, I'm raising you. And I want you to be whoever the hell you wanna be. We're always judging our children based off of their actions, but don't take, I, I think taking that approach is very incorrect. And you know, it's doing your best to really not be so controlling in that aspect.

So you know, I had, I had some side jobs here and there I did door to door sales. I, I would work and go to college. And then I finally just really quick college in general. Dance was very important to me. So during I basically worked to help support my mom with our household finances and also to be able to afford the lifestyle I wanted in regard to going out dancing.

And I did that for quite so many [00:55:00] years. I, I did date here and there met boys, but here's where the sexuality aspect of not being able to talk about your desires comes into play. I met, I met a boy kiss him for the first time at 21 ended up being raped. You know, a, I don't know how long after the relationship.

And then I dated more met a nice guy in between. I also met my husband, who's my husband now at 19, but we didn't date until I was in my mid twenties , which is odd. But it just worked out somehow. But in between all of that, I definitely was raped. And that, that put me in a huge hole. It, again, looped me back into depression.

I didn't know who I was any longer. I felt like my identity was completely lost because I held so much value on being a Virgin. And that, that for my culture was a big deal. So [00:56:00] you know, we, we lived through it and you learn I really decided that I wasn't going to be a victim after it happened and, and telling myself that I wasn't going to victimize myself really helped me move forward.

But years later it caught up to me because I never allowed myself to process the emotions. And I just made excuses about how it was my. And the second rape, actually, I just completely just knocked out of my sight. I didn't even think about it until my married life when it would come and haunt me because during intercourse with my husband, it would just literally flash into my mind every time.

And that was just like the weird thing to do. I, you know, it's important to work through the problems, not just shun them down. And I feel like a lot of people do that when, when they experience tragedy, when they experience hardship, they just wanna like bypass it because it's so hard to deal with. And, and it, it catches up in the [00:57:00] future.

So you gotta work through it guys. Yeah. And there's a difference between changing your environment for health reasons and running from your problems. Yep. And so, so your first sexual experience was a rape. Man. I'm so sorry, ire now. No, thank you. no, I mean, it's just it's I know it's life and it's just, it sucks.

Yeah, I'm thinking my first sexual experience was messed up and weird and it's like children or even adults. And this is what happens. It's just, it leaves a mark. Yeah. Like you said, you, you met your husband and you're with your husband and it was haunting you. So you gotta face in you. Meaning all of us, we gotta face into our proms and fight the pain and then it go, it will go away because you face it.

But when you run from it, it just keeps getting [00:58:00] worse. It keeps getting worse. Yeah. Let's go back though. The dude who raped you the jerk. Did you know him for a day, a week? A year? No. No, it was, it was a while we were actually in a relationship. I think it was over a year. I can't remember exactly. But it, he was drunk.

I told him no so many times and rape looks rape takes on so many different forms. It doesn't always have to be violent. It wasn't violent for me. Thank goodness. But it was still rape. A lot of times what happens is when you can't really speak up as a woman, even though no is speaking up for yourself, what, what happens is you freeze like a goat and you just faint.

You, you just, you don't, you have no control over your limbs anymore because you're just so stuck and scared and thinking, oh my God, what the freak is gonna happen now? And I don't want it to happen. Stop doing this, stop doing this. And you, you, you just [00:59:00] eventually, and it's a psychological thing, and it's a, it's a state of fear that brings you into like this paralysis that you can't do anything about.

And I don't entirely blame him. I don't blame the men that have raped me, even though the second one, I fought it off. You know, I told them, no, you, you stand up and you tell them they don't understand because they haven't been taught the actual etiquette of what a relationship and communication looks like.

You know, what do you, what do you do in that, that regard like you, you can't and women haven't been taught to like, say that was actually really offensive for me. I didn't appreciate what you did. Men haven't been taught, you know, the cues just because somebody giggles while they're STR struggling to keep their pants up, doesn't mean that they're into it.

No freaking hell like, no, it's not. you need to understand that when somebody says, no, it means no, you just stop. And nobody has really taught [01:00:00] their, their sons. You know, fathers are really disengaged in regards, most fathers, not all, but you know, to talking to their sons about sexual education, even like how to clean themselves, like nobody really teaches boys the right etiquette for sexuality.

And that's really what drove me forward is the understanding and empathy I had for the men that weren't educated. I, I don't blame them. Yeah, I was angry about it and sometimes I still am angry about it, but I forgive them. They don't know any better. They've never been taught. Yeah. Okay. For your sake, for our listeners sake, I understand everything you're saying.

And I agree with 99% of it. I don't agree with the, they don't know better and they've never been taught because I believe that in inside of us, all we know right from wrong. And if a woman's saying, no, I can tell you from a man's perspective it's no. And if I wouldn't even, [01:01:00] I wouldn't even do anything with a woman who was drunk at all, like at all, because I never wanted her to say, oh, it was just the alcohol or, you know, oh, I didn't really mean to do that.

It's like, if you wanna be with me, be with me, but if you don't wanna be with me, don't be with me. But if you were in the moment of passion and then, you know, the woman says, stop you stop. It doesn't matter how tough it is. You stop. And so don't ever bring that on yourself or make excuses for their.

Wrongful behavior cuz that could keep you or other listeners 1% of 1%, you still feel like it's your fault and it's not. Yeah, yeah, no. It's I agree with what you're saying. What, what I meant by that is I know you're saying they're not trained or taught properly in life. They're not. I mean, had they had these two men been trained or taught properly?

I mean, I'm not saying they were bad people, they really weren't, but they weren't ever trained. They weren't ever [01:02:00] taught to, to think that no meant no, they were still using excuses to say yes for themselves. And that's where that's, that's the part where I feel more empathetic and I'm not making that excuse for them.

I think it's really sad that their parents never taught them how to process communication, how to process what no really means. Or, or to understand, you know, when somebody's body lock. that means I need to stop. That means she's no longer processing or enjoying what I am doing. Right. And, and nobody's really taught that body language or the communication skills to understand how to proceed in that regard.

And I, I feel, I feel for a lot of women who have been raped, I, I feel for them, I understand what they've gone through or go through. You know, I, I was also molested when I was five by a family member. So you know, it, and that caught [01:03:00] up to me when, when I had my first born, when I first had my child, which was a couple years ago and it still haunts me because that's not something I ever really learned to process.

I never really thought about it. And molestation does lead into rape, because again, you haven't talked about it, you held in this secret because you feared the life of that person. That was me. I feared the life of what would happened for, for the life of the person. And I, I didn't say anything. I, I thought, well, if I, if I did that, then my dad would definitely, probably kill him.

I, I had no, I like thought otherwise in my head I'm his little girl, of course he would like either beat the living shit out of him or, or do something that would harm his life in the future and therefore mine. So I was like, no, that's not something I would ever talk about. But it always catches up to us.

It always. Yeah. And it ties into the depression. It ties into the struggles, a lot of internal struggles and [01:04:00] relational struggles. So I'm so sorry. You had to go through that, but thank you for sharing it. Cuz how many women and men are listen to this now. And again, I'm really, I'm a guy, so I'm more on the hard side.

I there's no excuse like guys know wrong is wrong and rape is rape. And it's like, kind of like when girls say, well, we can just be friends. No guys can't be friends with a girl. No, no, no. That's I don't think you should be friends. yeah, that's a lot. I think I'm on the hard edge when it comes to that too.

Yeah, but that's, that's such a lion fallacy. It's from the devil or people are trying to deceive themselves. Yeah. Men are to be with men. That fellowship, that communion women are to be with women. And then you form an intimacy with your spouse or with, you know, your family members, but that intimacy, that sexual intimacy, you know, men aren't going after the girls, they just perceive as ugly.

You know what I mean? They're not just trying to be friends with those girls. They're trying to be friends with the girls they want to be with, and they might be patient and take 2, 3, 4 years. But listen, stop [01:05:00] being self deceived guys and girls can't be friends. You can't be sitting there talking about your inner feelings at midnight on the phone, and there's not a connection there.

They know. So, but going back

with the molest station and the rape and then the second rape, was it again, was it someone you knew and had a relationship with? Yeah. Or for a long time? For a long time. It was somebody we, I was dating, I wasn't in like a committed relationship as I was with the first one. He was somebody I knew for a while.

Like maybe five years, maybe more somebody I met in college. Somebody I admired deeply and really hold, held so much value in because of his upbringing. You know, he was 16, you know, and, and, and became homeless because he was in an abuse house, abusive household ran away, you know, started his own life, educated himself, got jobs, did whatever the hell he needed to, to be who he, he became.

But [01:06:00] yeah, it's was there alcohol involved in that too? No. Okay. No. Because it is a common factor, just so you, I mean, biblically, the Bible uses the word temperance mm-hmm and temperance is, you know, if you're gonna drink, you don't get drunk. Mm-hmm and it warns again, drunk Inness throughout the entire Bible.

But in reality it's every time you hear the word temperance in alcohol, it always leads to sexual sin. And then in reality, like not every rape has to do with alcohol. No, but I know a couple husbands who even raped their wives. Yep. Which is, you know, a societal gray area, but she's saying no, and he's drunk and he rapes her mm-hmm and alcohol's involved.

So alcohol, you know, if you wanna enjoy alcohol, enjoy alcohol, but don't get into drunkenness cuz it opens the door. So, so many hardships and sins and you know, rape, like, you know, it affects date rape. It's a huge [01:07:00] effect. Yeah. And, and it opens doors that wouldn't normally be open. So that's why, I didn't know if the second one was also like that.

No, it wasn't, it was, it was light. It actually, it was like making out, it was light. It wasn't even really anything. Just because, you know, you, you, some petting here and there or whatever, like, it doesn't mean somebody is interested in having sex afterwards. You don't know what that person's history is.

You haven't really actually talked about it. Unless you have talked about it, then kudos to you. Like, I think it's really important to in developing relationship, even if you're not having sex, just to really ask each other about what your thoughts are on the subject matter. Right. It's, it's important to say or ask questions.

According to that like how, how would you really. Find yourself in this type of situation, would you be open to [01:08:00] discovering this sort of fantasy? I have this fantasy and it's, you know, I, I feel like men and women have a fear of opening up in that regard. In so many instances. It's not, it's not about being afraid.

It's about not judging because you're also judging yourself. Don't judge yourself for having fantasies it's normal. You can think whatever the hell you want, just because the person you're with isn't interested in it doesn't mean that it makes you a bad person. You just share it, be open about it. Say, Hey, I have this interest in this sort of sexual, whatever, is it?

You know, how do you, how do you think you would feel about it if we tried it? Have you ever, and it's about you also educating that person in regard to what type of fantasy you may have. Educate them. How, how, how would that really establish a stronger relationship for you and that person together? How would it bring you closer together?

How is it building intimacy? It's, it's, [01:09:00] it's openly communicating and not having any fears or judgments passing to people or of yourself. Yeah. And one theme that we've been talking about this whole time is that communication mm-hmm and education. And we have a broken system and I don't think it's just America.

I think most school systems now, first off training a child and educating one another is our own responsibility. Mm-hmm . And as a parent, it's our responsibility for our children. Mm-hmm but we're forced to put kids through the school system, which. You know, in theory, it's supposed to be educating our kids and making them moral, upstanding citizens.

Mm-hmm , but they teach so much crap and so much filth and they teach non practical skills. Like you said, you went to college, 30, 30 page papers. It's academia. They've never, most of the people in academia have never actually done a damn thing with their life, right? No, [01:10:00] no. And they teach theories and concepts.

Now we send kids to school from freaking 7:00 AM to 4:00 PM, and then we give 'em homework afterwards to learn all this bull crap knowledge that really doesn't affect their life. And yet the communication, the budgeting, the morality, all the things that are necessary are never even discussed. No. So I'm tracking with you completely and thank you for openly sharing all this nare.

So now, before we go on there's women listening. Who have been raped and they haven't dealt with it, you know? And like you said, you kind of blocked it out. That's a real thing. It's like, it never happened. You're like, nah, I didn't get raped. Yeah. Cause you've suppressed it it's you suppress it so hard that the reality is it isn't rape anymore.

Yes. And you make excuses. You blame yourself. It's my fault. I mean, there's so many things that happen, but to the women who have been raped that need to face in and work through [01:11:00] it, what advice do you have for them right now to forgive? That was the advice I was given. And that's what really made me move forward past it is to forgive is and you're not, you're not forgiving the person that did it, but you're forgiving yourself.

You're forgiving yourself for any thought you had of wrongdoing. You're forgiving yourself of any idea of wrongdoing. And if you do forgive him for doing it. which will ultimately liberate you. I think you can always still be angry with him. You can still, you know, hate him, cuss him out, do whatever the hell you wanna do, but forgive him so that you're just free of him.

That you're not with him anymore in thought you're not with him in pain. And that you're not really thinking about the whole repetition of what happened in your mind ever again. And that is really [01:12:00] essentially forgiveness and that forgiveness will take time. Yes. And I think thank you for mentioning that forgiveness.

There is no, you obviously you wanna do it as fast as possible. Everything is always fast. Yes yeah. You want everything as fast as possible, but the reality is we're all different people. Mm-hmm and we all have different life's like experiences. Okay. So like Nore was molested as a child. And then she was raped and then she was raped again.

Mm-hmm , it's gonna be a whole lot more complicated for her to get through this and forgive mm-hmm maybe even all men for a while. Mm-hmm don't I, I had people tell me, you need to forgive. I'm like, buddy, I'm trying. And I'm like, where's the timer in the Bible. There isn't one. We're doing our best. And we're being real.

That's all that matters. Yeah. So work towards forgiveness, do everything you can, and you can be fielded in a second, but I love what you said in Irene that it does typically just take time. Yeah. Takes time to unwind the pain. Yeah. [01:13:00] Okay. So you're working you're you know, these situations happened, but then you talked about, you got your dream job and then you were let go.

What happened there? Yeah. What were you fired for? Was it effects of everything carrying over in your life? Did you do something stupid and steal? I mean, what happened there? Oh, God. No. I've always been a high achiever. So starting from like, I was doing door to door sales at 19 I was top two reps. I became a, a sales floor, something rep I can't even remember for an insurance company I had.

So, so like you take a week long training. I did it in two days. I literally minimized it and I became a top person to book more appointments than anybody in one sitting which is eight hours. Like it was unheard of. I always made sure I became that person and I strived hard [01:14:00] for it. When I became, or when I got my dream job in LA at the photo studio.

I achieved all the levels I could possibly, I was told to memorize codes. I did it in days. I was told to do phone calls, work with the people coming in and take orders through the mail and input them into the system. I did them within a day. Like I didn't eat, I worked my ass off. And I would work probably like 12 hours days and be exhausted and then drive home in LA traffic and you know, just crash and wake up and do it again.

The next morning I had no problem doing that. I loved it. And then I got involved in the Mo marketing aspect of it because I was such a high achiever. And the marketing person there just really, I feel like found certain aspects of my personality. Where she just got really jealous about it because I would get a lot of attention regarding the work I would do.

[01:15:00] I'm very organized. I'm very organized. And I organized so many different like aspects of the marketing department. I organized the event. I organized, I just, I did a lot. I, it came out a lot of me and everybody loved me on the floor. I was just seen as like this high spunky, really cool attitude. Customers love me, you know?

And my coworkers love me. Everybody just got really close with me quickly because that's my personality. And she was close with the owner of the company because her stepdad was best friends with him or something like that. And during that time I had taken my own health matter. Into my hands with Western medicine, because I, I had been visiting many doctors prior, and this is where the endometriosis story comes into play.

I had visited many doctors. I tried many different types of birth control, but I would have severe menstrual. Cycles like to the point where I couldn't, I couldn't hold down water. I [01:16:00] couldn't take a pill for the pain. I would puke my life out. My blood sugar levels would drop in their thirties. Then there's nothing I could do about it because I couldn't, I couldn't even eat or drink water.

And I would be in immense pain for the first couple days of my menstrual cycle. And I kind of had enough of it at that point. And because I was in LA, I thought I could find the healthcare professional to really help me assess why that was happening with my body. During my cycles. And I did, I found a doctor who said that I may most likely have endometriosis, but he wouldn't know.

Unless we operated. So I had surgery and during that surgery that coworker. I don't know what she had mentioned to the owner of the company. The owner of the company went into my computer, opened up my browsing history. And there was 1.1 day when I was sitting down on my browser, because I had literally like a 10 minute bracket of just like [01:17:00] checking out of life and work because I was exhausted.

I was Googling engagement rings because my boyfriend at the time, and I were talking about getting married and he used that as his you're getting fired because you're using this browsing history to, you know, you're just wasting your time at work. And that was the reason I got fired. And it was all because of that person.

So it was kind of vindictive and it broke my heart. Actually my manager came up to me and warned me. And I, I, I knew it was coming. My, the it guy came up and warned me. He was the first person that warned me and my manager was gonna warn me too. But I just really was avoiding the conversation with her because I knew what was happening and when it was gonna happen.

So there was a whole lot of like crappy work environment, backhand BS, stuff that went on. And I lost my dream job because of it. And here we go back into depression. I moved back to Fresno because of it. And I got a whatever job [01:18:00] in a printing studio. It wasn't artsy at all. That's where I just gave up the whole art film photography.

I was like, this shit's not for me anymore. And yeah, that's that's life . Yeah, all too often. There's people who. Sabotage us in our careers mm-hmm and our lives. But like Joseph in the Bible, even though everything seemingly bad happened, God will still turn around for good. So in your journey, you go back, like you said, you're not in your dream job, you're back at home in a place you don't like, you're struggling, you're depressed.

Where does your journey go from there to today? How do you get back on your feet and better than ever? Well thank God I was with my boyfriend at the time. Who's my husband now because we were really meant to be with each other. I met him at 19 at a beach party in Huntington beach, down in LA or around that area, [01:19:00] orange county area.

And I always really had a an interest in him and really liked him, but I always thought he was kind of too chicken to ask me out. So I got over it, dated those other guys. Got into all that stupid mess that I shouldn't have gotten into, but you know what, oh, well it taught me so much and I'm leading with empathy even though it happened you know, and forgiveness.

And from that time till I was about 29 I did live in Fresno. I did have you know, the, whatever job it wasn't making me happy again, high performer did whatever I could. And it just got me by it, it, it put me in a bad place in a state of mind, but because I had my boyfriend and then fiance at that period of my life, he was the only thing that helped me.

Look forward to something else in the future. And I had told him when we started dating that I would never live in Fresno [01:20:00] and he wasn't okay with it then, but he absolutely agrees that we shouldn't be in Fresno, in our lifetimes ever again. So, you know, we, we found a common grounds. He got a job down in LA, right before we were gonna get married.

And I moved down there with him. I just quit. And I moved down there with him. I planned a wedding. Six months later was supposed to be our wedding. But between that time period, my mom got hit by a car walking in the early morning hours and broke her lake. Thank got you. Didn't die. And I had to move back to Fresno and help her with her jobs because she was taking care of elderly.

While I was planning a wedding and trying to nurse my mother back to health at the same time you know, fun stuff. And my brother was in his troubles at that time dealing with drugs and, you know, it's, it's, it was crazy times. I feel like my, my, my life has always been a roller coaster and I've had [01:21:00] more download dips than I've had high, high up dips.

And I'm honestly really grateful for those really bad experiences, because as bad as it gets, I still find a way to come back up no matter what. And, and that up journey is very short, but I think this is the entrepreneurial scale. Like you can think of your life as an entrepreneur entrepreneur in general.

Like even though you're not really entrepreneurial, it doesn't matter. It's you will always have the bad happen to you, and it'll happen to you way harder than the good will happen to you. But if you don't have that bad, you have no reason to appreciate the. Yeah. Ever. That's so true. And also you might have hit your quote of crap and the rest is just icing and rainbows and, and unicorns.

You know what I mean? Yeah. You might have hit your whole, like there's sometimes in life where we gotta be. It's like working out. Yeah. You go to the gym every day to tear your muscles and beat yourself up, and then you eventually just are able to maintain it because your body's used [01:22:00] to it. Exactly. So you might, hopefully you go through all the crap in your most, everybody, like you said, there's always gonna be ups and downs, but hopefully the heavy loading of the, of the trash and the pain is gone and now you just have the Heights, but yeah, we're all gonna be up and down, but hopefully it keeps going up too.

Yeah. Yeah. But you know one of the things I realized when my, when my brother passed away was in regard to hardship, I just had this weird epiphany. It just came outta nowhere. I was crying really hard and I just like took a deep breath in and I said, oh my God, I literally chose this life. I chose this life.

My soul chose this life of hardship because it is teaching me so much. It's teaching me how to overcome this pain. It's teaching me how to really become a better person so that I could help as many people as I can moving forward with this because I've literally, and I'm sure there's so many more people that have probably experienced worse things than I, I feel like my life has been a pretty shitty [01:23:00] experience up till now.

Like I've had every experience possible to like, you know, brother on drugs, dead on drugs, homelessness, you know, it's as bad as it. There's always worse. And that, that kept me going it's it's as bad as it is as it is right now. At least I haven't lost both my siblings. At least I haven't, you know, experienced a longer period of homelessness as at least my parents were still willing enough to, to make us as comfortable as we could possibly be in our lifetime, even though they struggled through it.

Like, I, I, I can have so much to be grateful for. And by the way, there is a book called outwitting, the devil by Napoleon hill. If nobody has listened to it, please listen to it and read it. And it's on audible it's it was released just years ago, like 3, 4, 5 years ago. I don't remember exactly the timeframe, but it was not released when he wrote it because his wife was afraid of the backlash the [01:24:00] book would get.

And it's about society. It's about our patterns. It's about the way we think it's about the way we are taught in the school systems. It's about it's just so many different things. That'll break and. So many of your thought patterns in regard to like how life is structured shit happens. It's about the mentality of how you want to proceed in life.

That will get you through it. Yeah, I think that's thank you, cuz that is excellent. It's truth. And when we're in a low, it can always get worse. Even when we think it can't get worse. Don't say that, cuz it can, it can always get worse. It can, but it can also always and does get better. Don't don't quit. Do not quit.

Yeah. No. And do I think, do I think worse is like the worst things in my life are done happening. I don't, I am going to be prepared for them for, for the future. Like as bad as it can get. I [01:25:00] just, I think about it. I think about losing my child. I think about losing everybody and, and if that's gonna be the biggest pain, then holy moly.

Like I better freaking like live my life to the fullest and leave love each one of these people that I'm so afraid of losing and, or the situations I'm afraid of losing in like. Public speaking, nothing. Hell I like I got up in front of a whole bunch of people. I didn't know, and read a eulogy that I never thought I would be possibly capable of doing and had no fear in my body while I was sobbing right before that for my brother's funeral.

So if, if, if you can just think beyond your self, you can really achieve anything you want, just stop thinking about your problems. I agree. And as your friend, I know what you're saying. You're thinking about the worst case scenarios. You can plan for it. Yeah. But put your energy, you, me, the listeners put your energy in thinking of the good and exactly.

You know, think about, have the images in your head of the good cuz I don't understand it. [01:26:00] but as a man think is so is he, and in the Bible, it talks about asking you shall receive. So I'm not saying there's like a prosperity doctrine and everything's gonna be wonderful, but I know for my own life, there's things that I've dwelled upon and they happen it actualizes mm-hmm and that could be good or bad.

Yep. So for you, please, as your friend Noreen, don't think all don't think anymore about the bad stuff. I know you'll be tough and you'll be there. It's think on the good it's your kid growing up and, and having a wonderful life's it's thinking about the stuff, the bad stuff to come into gratitude of all the good things I do have in this moment.

That's that's what, like the lost part comes into mind is I have to really be grateful for this moment that I have awake because yeah, because I don't know what the next minute will bring. Yeah. And that's the only thing. That's the only part of it. Like you just, and, and manifestation is a real freaking truth.

Like. I can tell you so many instances of what I've in manifested and they came true. I [01:27:00] manifested this ideal person. I would marry. I found him. I am in love with him. Like I knew the first month we started dating, I would marry him. I just knew it in my body and soul. I, when I first met him, I thought, oh my God, I would marry this guy.

He's a little younger than me, but I would marry him in a heartbeat if he was older than me. And that was my condition that I had you know, suppressed my life to. And, and, and then I was like, why am I, why am I holding this idealism in my mind? Thinking just because he's younger than me, I can't marry him.

He's the perfect guy. And look at the opportunity I would've passed up. Had I had, I like, you know, held onto that standard of, oh, he has to be older than me for me to marry him. What, what, where, where does all this crap come from? it sounds like Armenian culture. Cause I know in most Italian homes and Portuguese homes that you marry a girl for a guy 10 years, five.

I am sorry, ladies and gentlemen, I choked on air air is [01:28:00] killing me. Okay. So yeah. And a lot of European cultures, you marry a, a woman five to 10 years younger, not 20 that's too much, but five to 10 years younger. Huh? Or at least two years. yeah. Yeah. You, but I'm just saying it probably was just a cultural mindset that was just put in you and you didn't even know it, but yeah.

All right. This has been a great conversation. I've learned a ton. I thank you so much. But between your birth and today Nareen is there anything else we missed or anything you wanna cover or anything you wanna talk about? I know you got married to the love of your life. You have a beautiful child.

There's only good things, you know, there's so much more good ahead for you. But before we get into where you are today and where you're heading, is there anything else we missed to cover in the first years of your life? Honestly, no. I mean, the only thing between from getting married to my husband and now is I just, I didn't want to ever [01:29:00] uphold to anybody's standards any longer again, because I was finding myself being this married cultural woman upholding everybody else's standard of what that married cultural woman would look like.

And it made me very unhappy. Plus I had to get a job and uphold this standard of being a housewife or whatever the hell you need to be, to be an Armenian woman. And I'm grateful that my husband was capable enough to bring in a household income and gimme the opportunity to start my own business.

And, you know, I, I did that. I, I, I went ahead and I just really went for it because in my, in my eyes, I never wanted to see my husband work long hours and not have the ability to enjoy his life. And that's what kept me or made me really move forward with that. I just, I thought, you know, he would come home and get in front of the computer and I would just see the back of his head more than anything.

And I was like, this is a new relationship and this is what [01:30:00] standard we're gonna live up to. No, this is not gonna happen. Like no more. Mm-hmm and I started a business. Good for you. Tell us about, so tell us about where are you today and where are you heading? Tell us about you, your business. How can we help you if someone wants to reach out and connect with you, what's the best way to connect?

Well me now is so with all the experiences I've had mostly with men and the sexual education or lack of I find that women really have more of an outlet to educate. Or get educated on, and they are also more open about talking about their sexual experiences amongst women. Whereas men don't really do that.

They don't share their vulnerabilities, their concerns, their thoughts amongst other groups of men that they may be close with. And there's many experiences of that happening. Also, I find that men are very intrigued and want to learn, but have porn [01:31:00] to relate to. And , that is the worst possible education anybody can receive.

Because it's very incorrect. It's animated, it's it's cinema. It's not, it's not real life. And women are making a huge difference in that scene because they are making porn that is more realistic. You know, there's a lot of great pioneers in that regard and my husband's idea. To start his own business.

While I started my business was to develop a business in selling sex health toys. And I thought, well, no, as a woman, I definitely can never do that. And I would get disowned and I'm Armenian. I would never be able to do that. And here I am, again, just really challenging that because my husband told me that there are unhealthy sex products that are sold on the market because they're considered a novelty.

And a lot of these toys are very toxic. And because we use them in very intimate parts of our bodies, these [01:32:00] toxic products are absorbed into our blood system, which then cause disease. And he said there was studies and articles showing that women during use during use of prag use use toys or lubes during pregnancy have had babies with deformities.

And that's what really caught my ear. And I said, okay, well, if. That's what it is then we're gonna lead with education 100%. I don't care about selling toys ever in my life. We need to tell people that this is what's happening. They need to be very cautious. Just like you are with the food you eat, you have to be cautious with the products you use on or inside your body.

And we developed the research, the conversations learn so much about the whole sexual industry, how things work. And we select our own set of high standard products and sell them on our, on, on our platform. But we are also trying to really establish a platform to educate more men because [01:33:00] men are our 74% of our customer base.

And they're coming in to buy products for their wives. And they're really, I don't know a lot of 'em that I've talked to were confused about how to even bring up the subject of, oh, I would really be interested in using the sex product. How do I, or how do you feel about it? Right. So that's where we are.

That's what we're really striving to become is a resource for men to have the most optimized sexual education that they could possibly have. 

Yeah. And that topic Nore is so important, especially in our society today because you know, people who are, let's say Christian, quote unquote, it's a very taboo subject, sex and sex toys and pornography. And then you have other people who they just, they don't care. They don't have a moral compass mm-hmm and right now, Not just in [01:34:00] America, but in the world, statistically, there's more women becoming addicted to porn than men.

Now there's still more men involved in porn. Mm-hmm but the addiction rate is, is growing with women. And then when it comes to infidelity in marriages, you have, I think the last statistic I saw was infidelity is wrong, fricking adultery's wrong, but seven outta 10 affairs right now are being. Done by the women.

So there's this disconnect that's happening with sexuality. And I think what's happening. A lot of it is there is this taboo and it can't be talked about. And like you mentioned, fantasies that can't be explored. So people are going to these dark places to get really bad influence. And they're, miswiring their brains.

They're getting bad thoughts. They're getting really screwed up. So what you're saying, you and your husband provided is, and, and I've actually thought about this before, because, and, and not necessarily sex [01:35:00] toys, but how many products do we use every day that we put in our mouth or we ingest, right? Mm-hmm and some of these countries don't care about their own people.

They're not gonna care about us as Americans. Yep. But I've actually had the discussion. I forget when it came up, but with one of my buddies and I was like, if people are putting that stuff inside their body, and we were talking about like vibrates, dildos, whatever you call 'em mm-hmm . I was like, What is the quality control on that?

Like, we were literally talking about this about six months ago, and now you're saying how women are using these things and they're actually harming themselves in their future children for that exact reason. Yeah. So to the people out there who wanna learn more, but, you know, they don't want to go too far.

They, they wanna find that balance on exploring this safely. Where can they reach you? Where can they go? Or what are other resources you'd recommend for the healthy education of, of like, you know, [01:36:00] I guess as a husband and wife exploring that. And, and plaing one another in that way. Yeah. But not getting themselves sick or into really twisted crap.

Yeah. So to, to say, where do you go? The one place I can say that would be the safest to go is our store. And to sign up through the newsletter, the newsletters actually we, we keep them very educational, less salesy because we don't quite have that platform of the educators yet to bring in and keep it all in one place.

There's a lot of really great sex educators out there. And we have the Rolodex of them. But to, to tell you where to go to get all that information would be too many to, to like, it would give you a headache. We've accumulated all the knowledge and the resources to be able to really distribute that back out to the people that are coming to our [01:37:00] store.

We do have. Quite a few blogs in our store that could really educate you on product material, safety and the differences. So educate yourself on that aspect of it and be very selective about who you're learning from when it comes to the internet. A lot of people state a lot of different things, and again, because sex toys are a novelty, there is 0% quality control on them, and we get shipped billions of dollars of product each day, not each week, each day.

And it's very highly consumed product. There are products that do melt. There are products that do add friction when you put them together and they do get into your bloodstream, which do then cause inflammation and disease, it can be toxic. So. You said earlier, David, you want to be very selective about the food you're putting in your mouth, be selective about the [01:38:00] ingredients that are included in the materials and or the lubes that you are using.

We, we are very strict in regard to what we add to our store and we only add the quality ones that we know will not deteriorate. Especially if you use them with good care which is keep them washed and clean and stored in cool dry places in their little pouches. And you shouldn't have a problem, but you would be able to do that by going to our store at www.beyondthelights.com.

Oh, yeah, that was my next question for you. Where can we go? So yeah, this is like, we're sitting here talking, first time we meet, we have this incredible episode and then at the end it changes to a very important topic, but I think you're gonna have one of the hardest episodes I'm ever gonna have to name to kind of be concise and include as much as I can.

Right. So beyond delights.com yes. D delights, plural, plural delights. And then how [01:39:00] else, if somebody wanted to reach you or talk to you, ask questions, or, you know, maybe especially for women you know, they've experienced some of the similar things. What's the best way for them to reach you? Is it through the website?

Is it a LinkedIn or Facebook? Yes. You could info@beyonddelights.com or we have a live chat feature on the On the website itself, which you can utilize or email us. There's also Instagram and I'm the one who normally does all the replying and Instagram. So you're welcome to always reach out in that platform as well.

We do offer educational videos regarding so many sexual topics and we keep creating more. We also do have our YouTube channel. If you're ever curious about sex products and or sex education, again, we're trying to gear it more towards men because men are our highest priority in regard to. Their sexual wellness and lack of education, their consumers of the product, they buy your, and that [01:40:00] yeah.

And that they're already coming to our store. So it's just giving them that outlet to really trust us. But that doesn't mean it doesn't apply to women because there's a lot of things I feel, I feel as I'm learning more about men that I really understand as a woman, it's being a woman and being stuck in your idealism or being stuck in not approaching a topic.

And, and again, I was raised Orthodox Christian, Armenian American. So my whole world is like a whole bunch of you know, structured don'ts that I've had to really break and remold myself into a very, you know, I have high faith, I believe in a God. But I can't really say that I'm structured any longer to to a church because that church really broke down a lot of my own personal.

Desires to experience things in life. So it's, it's about really opening up your eyes and [01:41:00] really maxi maximizing your potential to be a better person for the spouse and for mostly, especially for yourself. Yeah. And I think what you just said about the church is the world is a broken place. Mm-hmm this isn't God's, I mean, God is it's his, but it's not his kingdom and churches and people will fail us.

Hopefully we can find a great church in our area and go and glorify God and have fellowship and grow together. Yeah. But they there's nothing wrong with it. It's find the right. Yeah. The important things are relationship personally with God. Yeah. And yeah, so, and me and you, we're talking about this and hopefully I didn't make you uncomfortable by digging a little deeper here.

It's just, this is something that's real, it's something that people think about and it's something that people have questions about. So mm-hmm, one more thing I was thinking though, there might be people who don't want to visit the website or, you know, Look at the content. Do you have like a LinkedIn profile that's more [01:42:00] directly to you or an email address that you could share?

Because some people may like a husband who might have had problems with this in the past, or a woman who has problems in the past, or they have a shared family computer. They may not want to go to there for the browsing history. Is there another way they can contact you besides the, the business website, email us directly@infobeyonddelight.com.

But also I wanna add that if you were ever to visit our website, it does not look like the typical sex Doy store. It was 100% designed to be not taboo. It's not, it's very discreet. You can use a VPN or incognito window if you don't want your browser history to show for anybody. And also our Instagram profile does not have any tab.

like visuals at all. It's literally just my husband and I talking on camera. Occasionally we do show products, but it's not really up in your face kind of product visuals. So you don't have to worry about like [01:43:00] the whole, oh, somebody gonna see me, because that was one of my worries. When I started the store is I don't want ever anyone to feel like they're ashamed or to feel guilty about visiting a store.

And most of the time people, when they do visit our store, they're just very surprised about the look of it because it's a very modern clean platform without any taboo visuals, other than like, yes, you see a sex toy, but a lot of them, you can't even tell their sex toys, but they're not gonna go there and see video demonstrations of pornography.

Of course. No, no, no. Well, no, there's some places. I mean, you, I was, no, you won't see, you won't see any of that. yeah, no PR I mean, I was on Facebook for a client. and we're on their site doing a demonstration of social media. And I don't know if Facebook got hacked. They have all these freaking fact checkers who are so busy, lying to people with propaganda that straight up porn came through during a business meeting.

And it was like selling sex toys. So, oh God. Yeah. That's why I'm like, I just wanna be clear. I don't think that of you. I didn't expect that of you, but if [01:44:00] someone has a question, their head, I wanna make sure we're being clear. Yeah. All right. well, nare, you are fantastic. You truly are a remarkable human I'm so thankful we had this time together today.

And like I asked before, before we end the episode from your birth to today, to where you're heading, is there anything else we missed or a final thought or message you wanna share with our community? Just stop, just stop judging yourselves and stop judging others and really live your life to the fullest potential that you are capable of living to.

So, and, you know, Just let go of all the ideas that people may have of you. It doesn't matter. They, it, they have their own problems to worry about. Just start thinking about yourself and don't worry about people's problems. I mean, don't worry about what people are going to perceive you as that that's one of the biggest things or takeaways I've had with starting a sex toy store stores, all the shame and guilt I felt, you know, regarding sexual [01:45:00] education and what people may have thought about me for doing.

So if I had let that stop me, there's, there's no way I would help as many people as I have been able to help so far. And, and that is really limiting ourselves. So don't limit yourself. Don't judge. Just go for it. Awesome. Well, thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure this episode helped you. If you need anything for myself or an ire, let us know.

If not, please like the episode, the podcast subscribe, share it. And it's not for promotion of our podcast. It's for promotion of material, that's gonna help people grow and have better lives. So Nareen thank you again so much for being with us today. Thank you for having me, David. I really appreciate it.

This was fun. oh, anytime. And I look forward to catching up with you soon and to our audience. We love you. We'll see you in the next episode. Chow.

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