Craig "Matt" Lewis | Childhood Abuse, Feeling Alone, & The Long Hard Journey to Wellness | E62

EPISODE OVERVIEW: 

A victim of childhood abuse, fraudulently committed to save his parents public reputation, and drugged for years to keep him quiet and in bondage, today’s remarkable guest shares his life story and journey from sickness to wellness and everything in between. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Craig “Matt” Lewis story!

GUEST BIO: 

Craig Lewis is a rebel and he chooses to live his life built on a foundation of gratitude, peace, love, spirituality, accountability, honor and forgiveness. When not travelling the world, introducing amazing people everywhere to his personally revolutionary coping skills guide, Better Days, currently available in ten languages; he lives in a mountain in Mexico. Choosing to live a peaceful life, in defiance of what does not serve his heart. Without question, Craig continues to rise ever higher on his mission to be the living proof to all, that surviving the impossible, is entirely possible.

FEATURED QUOTE(S): 

• “I’m going to have a great day because it’s my decision.” – Craig Lewis

EPISODE PROUDLY SPONSORED BY: 

• Rob Jackson, The Iceberg Model of Christian Spiritual Formation, https://www.icebergmodel.com/
• Pest Safari Pest Control, https://pestsafari.com/ – Pensacola, FL | Phone (850) 477-2847

SHOW NOTES, LINKS, CONTACT INFO, SPECIAL OFFERS, & RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Contact Craig “Matt” Lewis:

• Website: http://sanityisafulltimejob.org
• Book Link:  https://www.lulu.com/spotlight/betterdaysrecoverypress  
• Author Page: https://mentalhealthaffairs.blog/mental-health-affairs-staff/craig-lewis/ 

EPISODE CORE THEMES & MENTIONS:

• Core Themes: Self Identification, Love, Losing Everything, Childhood Abuse, Abuse, Substance Abuse, Schizophrenia, Victim, Medication, Psychiatrist, Counselling, Bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, Sexual Molestation
  
  
• Mentions: Mexico, Holocaust, Maxwell Ivey, Blind Blogger

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Transcript

Craig "Matt" Lewis | Childhood Abuse, Feeling Alone, and The Long Hard Journey to Wellness | Season 3 Episode 62
Hello friends. I'm David Pasqualone. And welcome to this week’s remarkable episode with our friend Craig, Matt Lewis. It's really Craig Lewis, but you'll see why I call him Craig Matt. In this episode, Craig opens up about his difficult journey through childhood and adolescent abuse.

And we're talking. Physical sexual, emotional, mental, all types. Even to the point he tells us how his family medicated him, psychiatrically misdiagnosed [00:01:00] him on purpose so that he could be committed so that he wouldn't reveal the abuse. It's a great journey. It's a great story. And you'll see how Craig Matt, not only whereas.

How, when he came off the medications, it was a hard journey, but then how he slowly but surely navigated through life and God guided him until he's where we are today. Having a conversation with us, the remarkable community. So get your notepad and pen, get ready for a remarkable episode. Maybe even have a box of tissues for this woman because Matt really opens up and shares with us.

Even just the surface of what he experienced and it's heart touching. Get his books, read the full story, but this is a catalyst that'll hopefully connect with you in positive ways to help bring you out and [00:02:00] help you grow and heal too. I'm David Pascoe alone. You're about to hear the Craig Lewis story.

And before we start, I just want to say, thank you. Thank you for listening to our podcast. Thank you for sharing it with your friends. Thank you for rating us in like apple and Google and Stitcher and charitable. Thank you for sharing us and putting you know, subscribing on YouTube. Thanks for being part of this community.

There's no purpose for us to do it. We want to glorify God and help one another grow. So by you being there, that means so much to us. Also, our sponsors today's episode is sponsored by Rob Jackson, coaching. Rob Jackson, we've talked about them on other episodes. We've had him as a guest and he was one of the key elements.

God used to recover. Guests lives from literally. Harsh tragedy. So Rob Jackson is licensed in several states. But he can coach in [00:03:00] all 50 states and continents. So check out the show notes for Rob Jackson, check out his 16 week series, the iceberg model of spiritual formation. So you might need specific help in that area, but the iceberg moral spiritual foundation is the foundation for all of us.

And what this does is it helps us have a close relationship with God. To love ourselves and then to be able to adapt and overcome any situation in life. Like this episode, we're gonna talk about it says greater is he that's in you meaning the holy spirit than he that's in the world, small age. It, so there's more good in us than there is evil in all the world combined.

So remember that and Rob Jackson will help explain that to you and help you live the victorious Christian life. Also another sponsor we have to. Pest safari. So local company out of Pensacola, Florida. So I know the majority of you won't be able to take [00:04:00] advantage of Pesach Fari and the Huey family and the amazing job they do.

But if you're in the Pensacola Florida area, whether it's new construction, old houses, renovations, the home, you live in vacation rentals, businesses. They can treat passive, all sorts from little tiny ants and spiders to nasty raccoons and rats. And they could probably treat some family members, but that's illegal.

We won't do that. So anyways, thank you, pest safari for sponsoring the show and making it possible for us to be on the air. Thank you, Rob Jackson, coaching for not only helping us, but sponsoring the podcast. And now ladies and gentlemen, I hope you enjoy this great episode with Craig Matt Lewis on the remarkable people podcast.

Enjoy.

PART 3 RPP E62 Craig Lewis Childhood Abuse Feeling Alone and The Long Hard Journey to Wellness: [00:04:47] Hey, what's going on, Craig? How are you today, brother? I'm awesome. How are you doing today? It's great to see you. Oh, it's great. Literally see you we've been talking for months now. We met through max Ivey, the [00:05:00] blind blogger. He's in one of the former episodes, I guess you guys were friends and then he kind of connected.

And between your hectic life and my hectic life, and then technology issues on both sides, we're finally making it happen. So I'm super looking forward to it. Now you are in Mexico, correct? That is correct. Yeah, that's true. I live here yesterday was my two year anniversary of being here. Nice, nice. So for the listeners, if there's any kind of delay, me and Matt, aren't falling asleep on each other.

There's just a lag in the connection because it's a slower connection, but we're going to hit it hard. So Matt I'm Matt Craig. I was, let's see. Yeah. I'm sorry, man. No man. I, so what I was going to say is like all our episodes, we have your story. You're just going to share your story with us. What you had a face on.

I'm going to interject and we're going to see how you overcame these things in your life. And then we're going to go from there to [00:06:00] where is Craig today and where are you going? So the listeners can help you get there. You're going to help us grow. And then we're gonna hopefully help you grow. Sounds great.

All right, man, to go back as far as you want, what is Craig Lewis story?

Thank you. My brother thinks that all the people listening and watching and giving me your time to understand I'm going to turn 47 years old on May 24th. I lived in Mexico for two years and I was born. And to abuse. There's no real good way to say it or to describe it other than by just spitting it out.

I was born into abuse. And so as my birthday is approaching and as I just shared, I've lived here in this beautiful fall. I'll share with you now. Beautiful mountain town here in the south of Mexico, [00:07:00] where I feel safe, where I feel secure, where I feel like I can be me. It's all the result of being, not just a child of abuse, born into abuse, but choosing to turn that into something beautiful and golden.

So when I was a child growing up in the suburbs of Massachusetts and not realizing that my parents were not very healthy, not very well, not very nice. I was taught the ways of the world. I was taught that love was actually abuse and still growing up in a household with parents who were born in the early 1940s, two Jewish mothers during the Holocaust yet ostensibly safe and sound and secure, and their [00:08:00] Massachusetts home.

My parents were not treated with love in those homes, by their mothers, their mothers listened to the, the radio and read in the paper that people just like them or being massacred. And for the greater most part, nobody was stopping him. The whole world was watching. And that that not only impacted the lives or ended the lives of people in Europe, by the other millions, it also impacted the lives of people all around the world who were connected into it.

And thus my mother and father, both in their respective childhood home, we're raised with abuse that was called love.

I don't blame my parents for choosing to have a child and believing that they loved each other [00:09:00] and that they could create something beautiful together. I don't think they planned to create a human living or living human being to abuse that being, but that is exactly what they did. Exactly what they did.

And they weren't very happy having a child who was beautiful and creative and smart and loving and interested, perhaps authentic. And as you can imagine, behind closed doors, things were one way and out in public things were very good.

When I turned 14, after [00:10:00] years of my parents taking me back and forth to see psychiatrists and social workers and therapist and people of that sort. Yeah. After years of them being told that there was something that they needed to work on, they needed to work on themselves. They needed to work on their own relationship, their own communication skills.

And that I was reacting to their abusive behavior. After years of being told that they needed help. They finally found somebody who agreed with them and I'm doing the bunny ears figures as quotes because. Agreed is a subjective word here. They finally had me put into a psychiatric hospital and once I was there, they, they, again, could not find anything wrong with me.

And this is a very documented tragically documented case of, of, of abuse, but they could not find anything wrong with me. And over the course of time, they gave me drugs. [00:11:00] Nevertheless, and then I became sick. And then that was put into a facility and then there, they could not find anything wrong with me, even with the treatment I was being given, and they could not find anything wrong with me.

And they documented that I was not supposed to be there, that I was inappropriately placed in this facility. And then I did not have the conditions that I was being treated for it. And that is where the psychiatrist buckled to the threat from my parents, that if he did not change my medical plan, To state that I had skipped the front end when it previously stated was that I was a regular kid reacting to an abusive home environment that, that they would Sue him in court.

If he did not treat me for this condition that I did not have. And he did, he changed the medical file and thus beginning in the fall of 2000, my goodness, fall of 1988, I lived the life of [00:12:00] a teenager. Who was being treated for schizophrenia with lots of hardcore drugs for the purpose of shutting me up.

And of course there's lots of bad things that happened there. And the sexual abuse was not, was not welcoming by me. And the other kinds of abuses that I faced were in particularly fun. Nevertheless, I lived. I survived. I tried, I did everything I could to make my life better. Obviously I'm here today, right here, right now, breathing.

Generally a smiling happy person. I'm well aware that this happened to me. I'm well aware that after 28 years I stopped taking the drugs, I'm well aware that upon obtaining my medical documents, because I worked as a mental health worker in the same state. That I was victimized that I worked in a building [00:13:00] that contained medical documents from my childhood that stated that I was abused in that building.

So you could appreciate that upon living this wild and crazy life of a sick person. Of of rejecting every oppression that I've had to face as a result, pushing my way through in every possible way to get educated, to go to school, to become a mental health worker, to be able to contribute and give back to help others live better lives,

working in a building. In which I obtained medical documents that said that in that building and people surrounding that organization, I was a victim of, you can appreciate this whole circle that I'm describing here, this whole circle of destruction and chaos. It's a [00:14:00] bunk to come. If not, if what I've already described as it been enough, the, the, the, the earthquake of my life is just about Jason.

And it did because I got my medical records that stated I was an abuse victim. And in psychiatry was being used to her as of April 30, your first or May 1st, 2015. I took the last psychiatric drug of mine 20 years straight, approximately 40,000 pills. I popped on my throat last one, just six years ago and a few days.

You could appreciate how society reacts to someone like that. You can appreciate how someone who works in the mental health system is going to be treated when they become the human walking, living example of the narrative that we're supposed to [00:15:00] ask for help. This is the go see help. Go seek help. If you're having a problem, go see a psychologist, go see a therapist, go take medication.

If it's going to help you do all these things. And here I am being told. If you don't stop taking these pills, crank, you're never going to get better. Every single person who's known me my entire life. Since I was a kid, knew somebody who was sick, who told the world I have schizophrenia, or then when they change it to bipolar disorder, I have bipolar disorder.

Well guess what? That was all a bunch of crap. And I had to like, get my medical files addressed. They removed it. It took me off all the pills. So you can imagine. Not only did the society around me, professionally, socially, my family all kind of view me as like a chaos, chaos, chaos awake about the happen, because I don't, that doesn't even sound like a proper sentence, but you can appreciate what it means for [00:16:00] 28 years.

Everyone who ever knew me, I self-identified as a sick person. And then I announced to the world, it took me off the pills. They breaks the diagnosis. Yeah. Well, you can appreciate, well, that moment of jubilation was legitimate and I legitimately was an abuse victim. Only God knew the hell I was going to go through to actually heal from this.

And that's probably by, I became a spiritual person because like, what the heck? Or I don't want to swear, but you know what I want to say. What am I supposed to do with the life in a world where everything about me was basically like a lie or everyone, but everyone's reactions with me throughout the course of the time.

They knew me was what they actually experienced, but it looks like me. Right. And it sounds like me, like, how could I ever have been me? Like the true me if I was sick drug to [00:17:00] the, to the gills for illicit reasons. And then, you know, life collapse. I spent the past six years. Well, let's just put it this way.

Life collapsed in. I suppose I could say I spent the past six years living through a collapse while, beginning to acknowledge it and then to build myself up through it. That's why I sit here today in a beautiful, safe, isolated mountain village in the south of Mexico, despite having lost all that I had in this world.

Material in materials, material, things, and casual things. I, I retained myself. My my body is functioning. I can think clearly enough to make good decisions. I can like I'm breathing on my own. I I'm smiling. And I'm a miracle of sorts. And I, I legitimately [00:18:00] could have lost my life throughout all of this.

If I continued to talk about all the bad things, all the horrible things, all the abuses, then I could continue to live with those abuses. Every time I talked about them, or I can connect with people like yourself, David and your listeners and all the people out there in the world say, yes, obviously you can just hear my album speaking.

I go through these like ups and downs of emotions, because what the, how much was the, how was any person supposed to be? Okay. It's our, it's our job. It's like my job. And it's your job to be. Okay. No matter what happened. So I figured I'm going to use my experience, even if I'm up and down. And it's like a little tense with me sometimes because I know that this story has value.

So to millions of people out there, and if I survived what I did and I can be well enough and stable enough to pick myself up and build a new life. Different country where they don't speak my language, or I have to learn everything from the beginning again, and [00:19:00] like try to heal myself and start over that a lot of support at all.

And if I can do that, if I can write about it in a book for him and make it available to people that I have, then I know I'm worth being heard. And I know that the message I bring to the world is a benefit. And. That is where I'm at right here, right now, choosing to take what happened to me and become the man I am right here right now and become the man.

I want to be tomorrow. And at the same time, hopefully via my actions and my, my intentions and my production producing of things that way help other people that other people can do the same. And if I can do that successfully, And whatever bigger, small than it is that that means in my own little way, I get to heal from all that happened to [00:20:00] me.

And I get to help other people move forward in life with a little piece of my, my struggle, but like what I turn that struggle into something of beauty, some sort of energetic forward movement, like thing that a person can apply to make their life better. That's why I'm here today with you. That's why I'm here today with myself.

That's why I do it. So I am attempting to reframe all that happened to me by spitting it out and then say, yes, I know because I, I told the story a thousand times. I know what's, it's horrible. And I know what I've shared here was just kind of like a, like a, almost a shipper coating of it. Cause I don't mean to go into those depths anymore.

Yes. But it is as dirty and dark as it. And you could imagine, and here we are. And despite that I took that, that. Ice cream signed me that fell into the side of the gutter. You got covered in dirt and like every possible roasting on the thyroid, you can imagine. And I rehabilitated it to a beautiful, delicious, regenerated ice cream [00:21:00] sundae.

And I just give that, that analogy because, or not analogy, but example because. You know what it feels like every kid in the world, if who's had an ice cream cone has had it at one point in time, the ice cream fell off and you cried. It's like the whole mess though. That was my life. And I'm like a lot of people, I didn't have anyone to help me like deal with that.

I was forced to eat that ice cream. And because of that, I knew how to make it beautiful again. And so I am the living example of that. And I thank you for. Listening to me, allowed me to share from my heart. Thank you, David. Bless you. Oh, absolutely. And thanks for being here, Craig. Well, let's back up and go through this.

There's a lot to unpack and you go as deep as you feel comfortable. You mentioned sexual abuse. I obviously there's mental abuse. I'm assuming physical abuse. So you had the whole gambit of abuse growing up. Is that correct? That is correct. [00:22:00] Then. When you were finally realizing, Hey, there's nothing wrong with me six years ago.

And I've been drugged my whole life. Anytime you take those kinds of medicines, especially if you don't have the condition, it can rewire you and it can cause side effects and it can cause dependency issues. So let's start here. What was the. What was life like coming off the drugs?

Thank you for the compassionately. And I guess intellectually prompt question, because this is very difficult to, for people in the world to understand that these things can happen. It was [00:23:00] I'm great today. Like, I mean, I, I'm going to ask you a question, but just while I answer the question, like I'm great. I'm great. All things considered compared to where I was. I, I could feel my emotions for the first time. I can smell things better things, smell like, I guess, smell stuff like different, like food tasted different.

Like people, people treated me differently. Like they could tell it was something different.

I had no idea, you know, how they say that people who are, they struggle with alcohol or other sorts of drugs. They say like an alcoholics anonymous and narcotics anonymous, like, oh, I, I was I began drinking when I was 14 years [00:24:00] old and I've been drinking every day since, and now I'm like 38 or whatever age where

they stop using the substances that they're taking. And they're, they're they're they're they're they're adults. They're they are they're adult age. Right. They're in their adult age, like, like you and me. But they're not mature because they never matured. Yeah. The drugs. And if somebody is listening and you don't understand what Craig's talking about, I don't know what the psychological or medical term is, but if you suffer trauma and you correct me if I'm wrong, correct.

But what you're saying is if you get introduced to drugs, if you get traumatized at a child's age, you almost freeze at that age until you get help. Is that how you understand it and what you experienced.

Yes. And in this funny discussion point, this funny discussion [00:25:00] point, when you said until you get help in this case, getting help meant stopping the help that was being given. Because the help I was given was given to me, For elicit reasons. So I want to answer your question the best. I can just think about the context of what I just stated and how that is complicated in this world, because it's it's opposite.

It's opposite Lynch. It's it's, it's upside down world. It's not really that how we're supposed to go. They don't want you to know that the thing's going to happen. So. I'm a thousand times better, a walking miracle. And I know it, I know that most people are doing most people who've experienced the sort of thing that I experienced.

Aren't as okay as I am. I know why there's some reasons why, but unique reasons, but [00:26:00] it was the worst thing that ever happened to me coming off the drugs. Was it just hard? Well, let me rephrase that. I've had a lot of worst things that ever happened to me, but I didn't actually, I, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna take that back.

It wasn't the worst thing that ever happened. I mean, there's no such thing as the worst thing that ever happened to me, God knows better than that. It was just one of the most, it was just. I guess I'm just trying to heal from it now. I mean, a little bit of country around to speak the language. I mean, like the, to tell you, it's like, why am I here?

Like, why did I have to get away from something, all these things that's on my checklist. One of the next question. So we'll get there. Yeah. I went through a living, you know what? And I could have died. I could have died. I went to Europe in the fall of [00:27:00] 2015 to present at a mental health conference.

My first time going to Europe, I went to Riga Latvia. The first place I went in Europe. That's I think that's really cool. And after the conference I gave workshops in different places in Lafayette and then Estonia with Duane and Finland, but we had a few days and. I give a presentation on one of my books and guy and that up sauna in Europe, it's like a sauna, a sauna at the gym, sauna, someone out there.

And it went into the sauna with the person I was traveling with. And I, it was like five or six months after I stopped taking the drug. I had a massive toxic purge. I didn't really think about going to happen to him. I was naive, you know, I was like, I was like a 15 year old boy and in an adult's body who like looked a certain way and that, and she goes crazy.

And then the, the, the sauna released the neurotoxins, even when I talk about it. And I stuttered a little bit because it's like some sort of [00:28:00] thing inside me, because for a period of time, I literally could not speak. Dangerous dangerous, dangerous. And I didn't know. Everyone knows everyone who knew me though knew something happened.

I changed, I became very different. Yeah. And it's for our listeners. We have listeners from all around the world, Matt, and if you credit Craig, Craig, you look like my friend, Matt. So I keep calling you. Matt is not a good looking guy. Yeah, no. The other thing too is, I don't know for the listeners, I'm not making this up, but I got a friend Matt, anyway, I'm from outside of Boston, Milford, mass.

So you really remind me of him. From back home. So I keep calling you man, when you're clearly Craig. So I apologize. What part of bow before we go? What part of mass where you from? You know I thought he didn't want to say it. Yeah, no problem. It doesn't matter. I was just the south, the south shore [00:29:00] in between Boston and Brockton.

Okay. Brockton, boxers. Yeah. We used to wrestle then. So anyways, but going back, if you're not familiar with what Craig is talking about I was just having this conversation with a good friend of mine. Who's a massage therapist the other day, when you get a massage. You can literally release. They say like some of our nerves, like we have trillions of nerves, how God created us.

And if you were to equate that to a computer system, there's like four gigs of data in each like nerve or cell or whatever you want to call it. And we have trillions of these cars, man, can't even touch what God can do. Right. But when you're getting a massage, it can actually release. And they always say, after your massage drink a lot of water because it's not only releasing physical.

Things that your muscles and your cells have held on to, but it lets go of emotion and it can bring you to that mind state, like you said, you're stuttering just thinking about it. But I can't imagine having 20 [00:30:00] years of toxins in you and poison and drugs, and then you're sitting there chilling in a sauna relaxing and it's just pouring out of your body.

That would be insane. Yeah. It was 28 years, 28 years. 28. And it wasn't the same. And the person I was with, we were all naked too. And the person I was with said, I mean, I don't know what she said. She said at some point to me that it was the first time that was ever mean, and that I changed

Well, let's do this. How did you recover the whole premise of the show? Isn't we heard your story and it's amazing. It's remarkable, but how did you recover? What was the process of going from sick Craig to healthy Craig and where it's always a journey we're always moving [00:31:00] forward, but what was that journey like for you?

And let's just focus on the drug impact right now. The drug impacts. I mean it ruined me. I was through and as a person and I lost all my friends. I was over time. I lost almost all my friends my family. They gave me an ultimatum that if I didn't stop talking about it, that they would disown me.

They did have a lot of people in my family live up lots of money and I was an immature person. I could talk about the sexual mature ration process I went through was very unpleasant. I thought about I mean, I guess not seriously, but I felt it like being castrated because the testosterone was, was like something I'd never experienced before.

I had [00:32:00] no idea how to handle it. I also. Not looking like a bloated person. I was, I didn't, I looked like I look better now, but like, I was like sexy for some reason, whereas before I wasn't, yeah, the mosquitoes, she's a good way to describe it. Mosquitoes began to bite me before, before, before I stopped thinking all those drugs, mosquitoes wouldn't bite me.

They knew they knew, they knew I can't describe it. They knew like gross or something like that. Oh, then my blood was unpleasant and I didn't realize that was I stopped taking the drugs. I was like, what the heck is mosquito bites? And then I started to realize one of the California, the course of time, mosquito bites, mosquito bites, and now like animals are gravitating toward me and like children.

This is not how it's been. If people run from me, I wish that it was, I always [00:33:00] felt like people looked at me in a certain way. Like, don't mean it's like, he's, I don't know why they were looking at me, but I always thought they thought it was weird or something. Why would we, no one wanted to be with all these beautiful.

It seems like we're changing. Mosquitoes were biting me. I was like, wait a second. These people are looking at, and we'd like to think I'm weird. They're kind of hungry. They see something. They like. What's going on, you guys like a lot alive all these years. I was like, not even so alive that mosquitoes found my blood to be toxic, I guess, enough to not landed me.

There's little like tiny little creatures who mostly do that. I mean, I'm not a scientist, but you all know that mosquitoes will do that. It's what they do. And now they're biting me, I think about, oh my God, how does this apply to the human beings around. My life radically changed people, not wanting to touch me if going that they liked me.

They won't do it. John. I have no idea [00:34:00] how to deal with a woman properly. I went through a living year. No watch. Humiliated, devastating, more humiliating. More devastating. Excessively humid. Okay. I got better because I refuse to allow the people who hurt me and all the people who thought that I was not well or not.

The people who just were making fun of, I mean, I was a grown adult being bullied me. I always said I was vulnerable excessively, but I looked like they'd grown adults. You know, everything changed. And I was not going to let we're allow everyone who had ever not been kind to me, but who harmed me or anyone else ever.

Not that they would be satisfied by my like, falling further, but to be validated that by, by that happening. And I said, Nope, no way, I'm gonna, I'm [00:35:00] gonna do whatever I have to do no matter what, what that means and become the man that I was born to be. Even if I lose everything that I have in the process and I ended up having that happen and I'm all on my way.

I mean, I'm happy. I'm happy to be where I'm at right now. And so tomorrow is going to be what it's going to be.

Yeah, no man. Why Mexico? What brought you out of all the countries in the world? Why Mexico? Well, when I became homeless in 2018, I was working as a mental health worker for 10 years, but everything kind of went haywire in 2015 for lots of reasons as some that have already shared. And there are other reasons as well.

I can, you can ask me about that briefly if you want, but briefly of course, please. I lost my home. I lost everything, you know, so. Except myself and the work that [00:36:00] I created. And so I had friends in Europe cause I've already been back and forth three times and I bought a one-way ticket. I banded to stuff.

I had put some of it in storage sold what I could, I mean, stuff I had from my life. I'm not seeing since years ago. And I hopped on a plane to Paris, France. Let's just say I spent the next three years or two years. Ah, more, more, more or less two years without a place to live, traveling around Europe, finding my way I ended up, I'm going to ask your question, how we ended up in Mexico two years ago, and I spent two years with nowhere to nowhere to be nowhere to live.

And no one who wanted me my home country. Like I was a pariah. I wanted the pariah for being a victim. I mean, come on. But I was. So I took my work and I had my work, my book that I published, translated [00:37:00] into different languages. I began working in France. I began working in and Belgium and then the Netherlands, and now I spent a year I have, or more traveling on Europe, finding my way when I couldn't return to the United States.

What life would I have there? I was ruined. I would get a job with new me. I was crazy person. My family tried to sound right. Like work in community doesn't want me, I mean, I literally am a mental health advocate who wasn't like watching because of like, what happened to me as a child as if like, we're the people who are supposed to help me at the first place they weren't there.

You know? So I was left to Dell deal with the pieces and ultimately you could live in Mexico, fear of the evil illegally, and yeah, like, listen on me and I got really hurt. And these neurological issues are serious and that was damaged the person. So I have be able to get some [00:38:00] help, you know what I'm saying?

So I can like not be homeless and that money that I'm, I've been, I've been getting, helped me be like, put my new life together, you know, to pay rent each month. Then in the meantime, I just well, that's the answer to the question. That's how we ended up here. In this town that I live in. I knew a guy from United States who had a similar experience with being hurt by psych drugs.

And he reached out to me and he said, you know, you can come live here easily. And ultimately, I, I live here easy. Yeah. Nice. So where is Craig today and where are you heading? I love these questions because I love that I can't help, but answer exactly right. I'm chilling, dude. I'm a little sweaty cause I, I focused all my windows because there's a lot of noise there right now.

It's a very noisy place and I didn't want it to disturb [00:39:00] the our, our discussion any more of the day. And then it will. So I'm chilling, I'm sweating. I'm happy. I'm really happy to speak with you. It sucks. I checked you out. And I found out that there were more than one remarkable people, podcasts.

That's really interesting. I'd come through the whole circle there to find out the people who are supportive. They're remarkable people. So you're one of them. I, if I come across and I'm smiling and I'm going to go have a beautiful day because that's my decision. And they do some things to help myself.

I'm gonna do a little work and tomorrow is going to be the same, but better. I'm going to continue to do everything I'm doing to be the best person that I can be. And forgive myself for all the things that I know that I do and know that I will be able to do that. I'd make me happy or make me feel whatever they [00:40:00] feel.

I just always strive to be like, wherever it was. I was born to be. That's that's really that's it. That's the answer. And I wanna, I, I, I have no choice. I have to make other adjustments as well, because I, I deserve financial stability. I have created great works of literature that I can stand behind that I know are helpful for people that I know other people like, and I have to stop.

I have to stop. I am actually actively working on myself to make adjustments and all the ways I communicate with myself to make tomorrow better. I have to make sure no, I am making sure about my actions and my words. And you can be, I'm actually talking like, cause you're not my therapist, but I'm the only therapist here.

Like I have to, you know, you don't, you know what I'm saying? People out there know that know, they know what I'm doing, I'm catching myself. I'm just doing it. A lot of action. I didn't get to make my work successful. I need to invest myself to make sure I do the [00:41:00] better thing. Yesterday is over. I got to do right now is what I have to take advantage of use what I've got right now.

Do the beautiful things I can right now allow my work to flowers. Create new relationships, make things better. Let that life and love happen. Don't obstruct it. Don't talk about distracting me. Thinking about progress to come up. You need to think about the future. Let it, let him, let it happen. That'd be okay.

So with that said, you've shared with us your life and you shared with us so much insight. How can we as the listener and our remarkable community help you? Is there anything I know we'll put all the links to your books in the show notes, and we'll put links if someone needs to contact you, but is there anything we can do to help Craig?

I want to thank you for asking that question. So specifically, because when somebody asks that question, it makes me feel like they care about me. [00:42:00] And I know you might ask that of a lot of people, but I haven't heard that that much. So thank you. There's so much that would make my life better.

I've been working on it, you know, day in, day out. It's hard. It's I mean, I guess the reality is I'm really hurt. It's not even something I want to share with more people, because I think most people look at me as some sort of like, oh, here's your amazing, like, I just can't, he's just amazing. He's so inspiring.

All these things. I'm like, I need a little help. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm great. I know. I'm great. Thank you for telling me I'm great. All the time.

You're getting low. This is exactly how I am. Like I used to have this way, my friend, I am too. That's how I am. [00:43:00] That's how I feel. That's like really my reality is that it means a lot to me that he asked me that yeah, I'm a hurt person. Who's building a life from scratch. Yeah. If you appreciate what I've had to offer today, the things that I've shared I have authored some books that I believe could be helpful to you and it would be absolutely a beautiful gift to me.

If the people out there who felt that they would benefit from them or their loved ones or whomever they may want to provide them for, or, or who may be interested in them would obtain them. Because when other people take the lessons learned the insights that I I've gathered and shared and apply them to their life.

It's in part, what allows me to, you know, Be okay. Every day. My name is one thing. Like, of course it's hard living in a world where he like lost everything. And, [00:44:00] but like, I keep stopping myself. I keep saying I lost everything, but no, I gained so much more just it's like, I gotta change that thing about myself.

And that's what my work is about. Just because I already published these books in there. People liked them and I want you to have them to benefit other people and yourself. I'm also a work in progress. So I hope that is what is being conveyed here. So my newest book is called. The Craig Lewis guide to surviving the impossible.

And I called it that because, I mean, I'm, I'm not a professional person. I'm pretty messed up and I'm not like go crazy. And my work is good and there's a lot of value in that. There's a lot of value in like the crazy person who knows what he's talking about. And so I'm absolutely serious. The Craiglist guy to surround me as possible is my newest book.

And it's a workbook intended to help people do the work necessary on the inside to get past, [00:45:00] not get over, but work through, to identify process and come up with new ways based on what you know is best for you based on what works for you to make tomorrow better. And I do stand by it 100% because I'm living, walking.

So I have that book and many others, and I hope you'll check them out. And so I have a website that's in the works right now. I don't really know if it's functioning or not, but it'll be up and functioning soon enough. And it's sanity as a full-time job.org. Sanity is a full-time job.org and you can also find all my books at my self published a spirit distributors website.

Which is Lulu L U L u.com/better. Pardon me? lulu.com/spotlight/better days recovery press. And my email address is surviving the impossible@gmail.com and [00:46:00] anybody who wants to reach out to me, whether you want to get books or you want to talk, you want to share a story. You want to send me something else.

You want to do anything at all. Please contact me and I will respond to you as soon as I'm able, I'm a human being, living a really interesting, wild, tough, challenging, hard, and beautiful life. So if you can appreciate that, that I'm certain we'll appreciate each other. Wonderful, wonderful. And then also, as our listeners know, you'll send me all that info and I'll put that in the show notes that way, whether the listening on an Android phone.

An apple phone watching on YouTube. They can just click the button and go. Well let me ask you another question, then. Two more questions for you. Okay. You got the time you get the time. All right. First question, actually three between your birth and today, is there anything in your life that we missed that you wanted to address that you think is important for the audience to hear?

That's one of the. [00:47:00] Okay.

When I was 16 years old, I had correction when I was 17 and a half years old. I had reconstructive plastic surgery because I had grown breasts as a result of the psychiatric medication that was given beginning at age 15. Not really hurt me. I'm very proud of myself today to have worked very hard, to become more confident in myself and eat.

You know, it's always been a struggle for me with my body and I've worked extremely hard to be comfortable with myself. And now I'm still working now. That was not I think that anyone should have happened to them against their will. And especially when it's in the context as for, for your own good.

The psychiatric context, but as you've heard [00:48:00] throughout this discussion, none of that was for my own good. So knowing that I suffered so, so, so many ways in a locked facility that I'm not going to get into the details of what was done to me when I had those, when my body was like that. But you got appreciate the cruelty of other people who have also been heard by cool people, locked in a place where sometimes, you know, Things can be done.

And I wish that never happened to me, but I'm, I'm also glad that it did because it may be the person I am today. And and then when, who has a problem with, with me, for, for turning those horrible things that can be done to a person that kind of things they don't even want to admit can happen to a person.

And the kind of things that a lot of people don't believe can be done to a person. The fact that I took all of that and turned myself into personally, I am today. That's where the whole heck of a lot. Anyone who doesn't appreciate me or [00:49:00] value me or my work or it doesn't whatever. That's okay.

Cause there's a lot of people out there who can hear that story and they want to support someone like me. Let's see that maybe I figured something out and then maybe you can learn from that as well. So I know I get to do these big long-winded questions as long winded answers, but I try to be as helpful as possible in answering.

It's important to be both understood, but also to for me to feel understood, but also to give you the information you're asking for. So thank you. Yeah. This is context. Yeah, this is fantastic. Craig, don't worry about it, man. This is I'm thankful for your transparency, so. All right. So one more question and then a question statement.

So the next question is if you were to leave today, We have thankfully listeners in over 80 countries and this'll air on YouTube for video and only are podcasts for listening on the web for the people you're going to be able to reach. You've hung with us this episode. What life advice, if you were to say [00:50:00] one of the greatest life lessons I learned is, or one of the greatest, you know, things I wish I knew then that I know now is what what's one closing thought you want to leave with our remarkable community.

You have the power to decide in any moment, no matter what's going on to be okay. It doesn't matter. Who's doing what it doesn't matter. The circumstances, it doesn't matter. The danger. It doesn't matter any of it. None of it matters. You have a choice to make, how are you going to respond? You have the power, no matter what's happened to you.

You have the power, the moment you choose to do something different, the moment you choose to, to be better, the moment you choose to let us, it's the most powerful moment of your life. And there's more power in your decision to choose than there is in any action you take. Make sure [00:51:00] that from this point forward is you've decided, or you decided to 10 minutes from now or 20 minutes from now, or one hour from now or 17 years from now.

It makes no difference from the moment you've made the decision that you've had enough of whatever you wear, whatever happened to you, whatever is going wrong. Want to make your life better. The moment you make the decision to choose, and you learn that there's energy in that choice, you can do it again and again and again and again and again and again, no matter what.

And that is my gift that I want you all to please find under your tree or anything where you find shifts, because that's the gift that I know that keeps on giving. So yeah. Happy days to you. Yeah. And in line with exactly what Craig is saying, the Bible says greater is he, that is in you than he, that is in the world.

And the he that it's talking about capital H is the holy spirit, that when we trust Christ as our savior, the holy [00:52:00] ghost and dwells in us, and there's more power in us as believers than there is in all of the evil, he small, he stayed in that piece of trash and all the words. So God has given us more power.

We just got to let him go and let him lead. So thank you so much for that, Matt. Craig Craig dammit. I look at you all this time. I've been tolling back, Matt, and I'm telling you, I got to send you a picture privately to you guys. See this thing. You guys are like doppelgangers here. All right, Craig. So please know, I love you, man.

It's just, it's like looking, it's going back in my childhood here. I'm glad that that's good. This is where it helps. I think. Yeah. You even look a little bit like my cousin, Tony who passed away, but I'm Italian. So we have like 80 Tony's in our family, but my, my one cousin, he was a cool dude and he died, but you look like, sorry for that.

I'm sorry for that. And you know, I spent a lot of time in Italy [00:53:00] and in France and the Balkans and I live in Mexico now. And I can't tell you how many times people stop me and say, yeah, you like my uncles friend, or are you from Croatia? I swear. You're telling him, you know, Eastern European white guy who lives in USA.

I pass so well, I'm glad I passed for the people that that you love. Yeah. You're the perfect world traveler, because you can adapt to so many different cultures. So, all right. Well, the last thing I have to use this, this is more of an, I love you statement than anything, a heads up. You said, and I got my glasses off, but you said something like you were talking about with your work and you said.

I know I'm worthy and you're working hard and you're worth it with your work. And I just want you to know, man, just listening to you today and getting to know you over the fast past few weeks, dude, you're a great human. God loves you. We love you and you're worth it. [00:54:00] Now. We want you to write, we want you to communicate.

We want you to share your story, but even if you did it, didn't do any of that. Just know you have worth brother. We love you, and we're thankful for you. And if you never did anything. God loves you, but if you tell the world and help him, man, that's just icing on the cake, but don't let same mess with your head and think you have to work to be loved because you don't.

Well I think you, you know, I just want to end by saying I wasn't, I was an atheist by, by default. I think up until this all went down with me in 2015, and then I met a woman who Basically kicked my butt and then told me a lot of things about stuff. And I learned about spiritual awakenings and all these things.

And I grew up Jewish, you know, and all this. And my parents went for a nice and I never related to that. And then she encouraged me to go to the church on my street because they had some sort of recovery meeting. I didn't really like that meeting, but then they had this other meeting. So me this like Jewish punk rock kid [00:55:00] would go to this Bible study meeting with all these men who most of them.

We're like formerly in jail and they embraced me and I realized like every night, every time I'd go in Wednesday night, they have food. And I always said, I'm not. Yeah. Can I say that, sir, that I agree with this, but I don't go this far because this is your bubble. But as it turned out they loved me and they treated me so well.

And I, I looked back upon that experience as a transformative for me. So regardless of what I believe, as far as like religious specifically, I do feel so much the power and the love that you're sharing with me with a similar to what those men shared with me. And that's why no matter what I may say, or may or may not say about what I believe or what I do believe or how I describe it.

I'm going to send you a photo, but at the top of my street, there's this gorgeous church that goes back a hundred plus years. I live in a town that has a colonial look, and I'm gonna send you a photo because it is a precious place for me every single time. I walked bother and I stand out front. It's like to look, look the white guy, right?

Well, [00:56:00] I mean, I'm not that funny looking, but you can appreciate what I'm saying. And although no one may understand what I'm doing or not. I make my prayer every day. It's not about specific religious, but it's because I feel so good knowing that people go in there and they do their thing to try to do what you've done with me here today.

When you share with people. Thank you. I'm going to send you that photo because we need to see it as gorgeous. Yeah, man. And can we share that on the, in the show notes? Can I put that on there website? Absolutely. Okay, cool. Yeah. All right. Well, Craig, and I'm going to nickname you, Craig, Matt Craig. It's been a pleasure having you.

You truly are a remarkable man. And ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls old and young. If you're listening. If you need Craig, reach out to him, check out the show notes and get those email addresses and websites. And if you're struggling with some of the same things, read Matt's books, reach out to Matt.

I'll help Craig Mack, Craig Craig, man, I'm sorry. This episode, I've never done this in 62 episodes. I've never [00:57:00] had this issue. We have a unique situation today. I think we've already established that. So we have a lot of things we're going to have to figure out, but we're all good. Yeah, I think there was one episode of Craig around as much as you want Matt cm.

No, but I called one guest by accident, the wrong name. Cause I was reading something else as we're talking, but you just look so much like my other friends. So anyways, ladies and gentlemen, if you need help, let us know and truly know God loves you. That's not just a little cliche saying it's not about religion.

It's about relationship. And if you ask God to help you and save you, he will. And that's a promise, not a question, nothing you need to work for earned. And Craig, Matt, my brother. I love you, man. Hopefully I'll see you one day. If you ever get to America again, or I get to Mexico and like our slogan says, ladies and gentlemen, don't just listen to green information, but do it, repeat it so you can have a great life in this world.

And an attorney. We love you. I'm David Pascoe alone. This is Craig Lewis, [00:58:00] not Matt Lewis, but Craig, Craig, Matt. That's your new name, man? We hang out Craig. Matt. This is Craig, Matt. And that's it. We love you. Have a great day, Craig. Thanks for being on the podcast, my friend.