Life after a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), Blessings in Disguise, & It's Never Too Late for Positive Change | Roberta Knechtly

Have you heard the one about the hair stylist who went through a nasty divorce and then entered into a phase of life that looked terrible? You know, the one where she was just getting back on her feet and finding balance when her daughter was hit by a car, suffered a traumatic brain injury, and both of their lives were changed forever. Together they prove you can live a full life after a TBI.

Today our guest is an author, coach, and in the best place she’s ever been in life. In this episode you’ll not only hear her story, and part of her daughters story, but you’ll also learn tips, tricks, and basic life habits on how today’s guests recovered, and you can too. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Roberta Knechtly story!

GUEST BIO: 

Roberta is an author and entrepreneur who studies personal development and is passionate about health and wellness.

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SHOW NOTES:

Guest Info:

• Website: https://shelooksfinebook.com
• IG-@shelooksfineofficial
• FB-Roberta Knechtly
• LinkedIn-Roberta Knechtly

Special Offer(s):

• Go to my website at https://shelooksfinebook.com and download the book preview for free!

Resources Mentioned: 

• Daughter Paige’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/iampaigeofficial
  • Fearless (New single that dropped with book): https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/paige4/fearless
  • Hottie Red (New album dropped this summer) https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/paige4/hottie-red

Transcript

Life after a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury), Blessings in Disguise, & It's Never Too Late for Positive Change | Roberta Knechtly

Have you heard the one about the hair stylist who went through a nasty divorce and then entered into a phase of life that looked terrible? You know, the one where she was just getting back on her feet and finding balance when her daughter was hit by a car, suffered a traumatic brain injury, and both of their lives were changed forever. Together they prove you can live a full life after a TBI.

Today our guest is an author, coach, and in the best place she's ever been in life. In this episode you'll not only hear her story, and part of her daughters story, but you'll also learn tips, tricks, and basic life habits on how today's guests recovered, and you can too. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Roberta Knechtly story!

Roberta Knechtly | Life after a Traumatic Brain Injury Blessings in Disguise and Its never too late to change for the better: 

Hey Roberta, how are you today? I'm great. Thank you man. We are so glad to have you here in the Remarkable People Podcast. I just told the listeners a little bit about you and your story, and we are all pumped to get into your episode.

So for all of our new listeners, what you're gonna. Is Roberta's gonna share with us her life story from birth? Because how we're, how we're born, we're all born kind of the same way, but the circumstances in which we're born and raised in our journey, good, bad, or ugly, that makes us the men and women we are today.

And then Roberta's gonna take [00:03:00] us through her life, the highest, the lows, the everything in between. But she's also gonna break it down along the way of not just what she was able to achieve or overcome, but the practical steps of how she did it too. Then we'll transition to, where's Roberta today and where's she going?

So you can get involved in it and connect with her. Sound good? Sounds great. All right. So Roberta, before we start into your actual. For the listeners that are like I'm on the edge. Should I listen to this episode or not? What is the purpose? If you were to just quickly summarize the purpose of just one thing our listeners are gonna get by the time this episode is over, what is that?

You know, I, I think it's, it is never too late to make changes in your life, and God is always there, and once you, you find that [00:04:00] relationship with him, your whole life changes. Amen. Amen. So let's talk about Roberta's journey and how you got to this point. And along the way, ladies and gentlemen, you're gonna hear not only Roberta's side, but how you can have that same success too.

So, Roberta, where were you born? What was your upbringing like? Let's go. Okay. But first of all, I wanna, I wanna thank you, David, for having me on here. And you are amazing. You're so organized and you're doing such a, a great job, you know, with, with people. And we just, we can't thank you enough. So thank you for that.

Well, thank you so much. I appreciate you. Thank you. So but anyway, so I was born in a very small town in Ohio, so called Fayetteville, Ohio, and [00:05:00] I was the fourth of four, so I am the baby. And so I have two older sisters and I had an older brother that actually passed when he was three or four.

And so I think that kind of changed a little bit, right? Changed how. Not one of those things we expect. And you know, my parents are, they are still together after 60 plus years, so Oh man, that's, that's remarkable today. That's so wonderful, isn't it? Yes. So yeah, we had a very, you know, a good comfortable life growing up.

They really provided the best for us. And my goodness, you know, looking back, I was just sitting outside the other day thinking of those childhood times where you are listening to the crickets and [00:06:00] the, and catching the little fire, fire flies. . I love fireflies. I don't, there's, I heard they're making a comeback.

Did you notice how when we were kids, they were all over the place and they disappeared for years. Now they're back. Yeah, absolutely. And it's so nice to take times like that, like. Put our phones away, put technology away, and just be with nature. Like that is one of my favorite things now and I really appreciate that.

So yeah, growing up we had, we had a very, a great life and, and so, so I was, Did the loss of your brother change? I'm sure it changed the dynamic of your family, but a lot of times, whether it's someone's quote unquote fault or not, when you lose a child, parents kind of turn on each other. Did you remember your parents having extra stress in their marriage at that time?

Or [00:07:00] did you just see them unite and stay strong together? You know, my parents worked so hard. , I mean, my dad worked several jobs at a. So he worked so hard to provide for us, and my mom did all those things. Like we always had dinner the same time every night. We all sat down together. It was, it was one of those things she cooked.

She, she cooked, she cleaned, they both provided, and they really did their thing. I guess that's why they're still together after 60 years. Right. So they you know, I didn't really notice a lot then and now as you're older you kind of take a look back and see things and so, so I don't know. I mean, could have things have been different if, if I, if he would've been, you know, with us today, I'm [00:08:00] sure.

But we yeah, I. I love my, my two older sisters and I really look up to them. And the, the middle sister, she actually went to cosmetology school and became a hair stylist and she was very popular. And so I was like, Oh, she's a hair stylist. I think I'll do that too. Cause I really had no other direction.

Like, I did not know where I wanted to go from there. After high school, and this was a few years ago, right? Mm-hmm. , a lot of people, a lot of us weren't going to college. And, and that just looked like a good path for me. So that's what I did. And many years later, here I am today still doing hair and I am slowing down a little bit in that [00:09:00] process, obviously I wrote a book.

in the past year. And so taking on new path and seeing how my life has evolved and grown over the past few years. But you know, we grew up in a Irish Catholic family, so we went to church every week and it was very special. It's something I'll never forget, but I don't know that I ever had really had that, that relationship with God until just recently where I can really say, I really feel it and I understand it, and it has changed my life.

So I think when I was younger I was just trying to understand all of that, right? And I, so in school I was like an average student. I, I didn't do great on [00:10:00] tests. And I had a hard time like focusing in, in school. So, and I didn't really realize that until later on. And, and you'll see this kind of led into something that I just realized the past few years.

So but yeah, after high school started working in a salon full time right away, and then was married at 23 and, and had two beautiful children a few years later. And so my children are now my daughter Paige is 26 and my son is 24. Oh, wow. They're ready to have kids or maybe they have that's, they have not think so that, Oh, I'm not ready yet.

It'll be fine. It'll be fine. , I know, right? Yeah. So yeah, they were just my life. I. After I had [00:11:00] my daughter, it was like, wow, this is, this is amazing. Like she was the best child and the best infant anyone could ask for. I mean, like slept through the night. Oh, you're one of those people. Almost immediately.

My friend, my friend Chico had a daughter and she was like that. And I was like, Dude, that's not normal. Like you were blessed among men. And he's like, whatever. And then he had his second, third and fourth child. He's like, Dude, I can't sleep. And I told you, I'm like, the first one was special. Same here. Yeah.

So, Yep. Yep. So when I had my son, Oh, it was rough. . Yeah. It, no, he was normal. Your, your daughter was the exception. Right? So that's what's interesting is that, so for me my daughter was easier, you know, when she was younger and my son was that like, Walking [00:12:00] and moving around so much earlier than she did.

So it's definitely was a different situation. But now then he got older as he matured, or he was easier as he matured. So they're both great kids. I'm so grateful for my children. And so, yeah, so I actually had the opportunity, I was able to stay home with them and I'm so glad that I, that I could. But that's a, that's a tough thing too.

I mean, you're, you're grateful that you can stay home, but yet almost maybe I've, maybe I lost a part of me. Right. So doing everything for them, and I didn't realize that till later, but I've always had this entrepreneurial mindset, like I've always like, Oh, I could do this, I could do that. And I would start something, but I wouldn't finish it.

So I didn't have that. That self confidence to be able to [00:13:00] finish and to be successful at something. So my life just continued like this forever, and I kind of just coast it. I said I've kind of, I feel like I've coasted most of my life. Until, of course I did end up divorcing over 10 years ago. And really that's when I started learning.

I turned 40 and then it was like, wait a minute, right? So that's when I started taking a look at everything. And so just four years ago is when really when my life changed. So, Before we get there, let's finish up tying together the past. So you did a great job giving an overview, but I wanna make sure we didn't miss anything critical in your development that brings us to today.

So your childhood, you had a solid mom and dad, you had a two sisters, you were close with, and you still are. You went through school in a small town. You [00:14:00] know, you unfortunately lost your brother, but your family stayed united. You had family meals every night. You had just that good kind of modeling of family, and then as you went through school, you finished high school.

and then you decide to become a hair stylist like your sister, and then you're enjoying that. You get married, you have kids, you're staying at home with your children and like you said, you love having your kids, but at the same time you're like, Oh, the world's telling you you're missing a career or whatever it is.

You had something missing inside. So as this development's going on back and forth, let's, let's talk about that one big gap and you can go as deeper as, as surface as you want. What happened with your marriage? Cuz life happens to us all and you know, juggling kids in career and spouses, it's, it's tough.

There's a lot of distractions. So what happened in your marriage where when you were moving forward in life, raising two kids, you know, at 40 you had, it sounds like almost like [00:15:00] a, like you were like, wow, you're looking back at your life and you're like, what just happened? Right? Mm-hmm. , it's like, is that kinda how you'd summarize it?

So, I can definitely see now, right? Yeah. And and you know, I always believe that it's well communication. First of all, I, we did not have great communication. And after we had our children, like we felt in love with our children, we did everything for them. And I think because we spent our lives like focusing on them, we grew apart.

We didn't spend the time together. We didn't go and do things that like we should have. So that's definitely my advice to people is for your marriage, you know, communicate and have those date nights and schedule time for yourselves because we [00:16:00] were, we were definitely very into our children and they were very athletic.

They were in everything. And yes, I was. Probably the instigator in that I enrolled them in probably everything I could with music and athletics, and I just wanted them to be well rounded. So I wanted my children to kind of have that while we wanna give our children what we feel like we did not get.

Right. So let them, I mean, from almost from birth, I introduced them to music and, and instruments and just trying to get their hands into different things. And I mean, there's so much more I could have done, but I did the best I could. So, so yeah, I think, you know, we just really focused on our children and, and, and there's nothing wrong with that.

But also now I see that [00:17:00] my, my thing was, you know, I never. My self confidence, my self-esteem, my true identity was not like I did not realize. So I needed to learn to love myself. And you know, my mom had told me this many years ago, she saw it. My mom is very, very smart woman and she did, and she was right.

And I don't know what it was that why I really had an issue in that in that field and that self, self love, self-acceptance. But now that I've stepped back, of course, that's what I've been working on. And so that, that was a big issue for us in our marriage. I'll admit that. And I can't speak for [00:18:00] him.

I'm not going to say. Anything like that, right? Oh yeah. No, you don't have to. I just, Yeah. Yeah. From what? Like you just, you just said that, like the self love, that's something your mom identified in your life early on. Correct? Like how old was it when she first presented that to you? Oh, I, I, I remember the day I was probably right around 2021.

So she's seeing this in you and you're like, Whatever mom. You know, you're 21, right? And then that carries through your marriage and it really was part not the problem, but it was part of your struggle and part of your marriage problem. But now you're getting a handle on that. So that'll be one of the topics we'll talk about and break down.

How did you come to accept and love yourself and how did you, Once you can love yourself, you can better love other people, cuz you can't give what you don't have, Right? So, so that'll be a great topic that many people need. So, okay, so you go through your life. Between your birth and [00:19:00] between the divorce, is there anything we missed that you want to cover that's pertinent or you're like this?

No, I wanna share this. I think it'll help people. I will tell you some things that I uncover later in life that I didn't realize when I was younger. So I I had, so let's see. Let's start with like seasonal allergies. Okay. I had horrible seasonal allergies, but my, I don't think that my sisters had that.

So I, I understand this now and I never really thought about it until recently. But I really suffered with allergies. I suffered with with acne. So I had a lot of hormonal issues too. Right. And, and like I said, I couldn't focus for a while. I wasn't a gr a great. Test taker. And I never [00:20:00] really thought about any of this until I look back and at what I haven't covered.

And so those are things I felt like I was just maybe a little, not different, but there was something different than my sisters. We ate the same food We lived in this, grew up in the same house. So I was like, That's not fair. Why do I get all this ? ? I was even the one that had, the only one that had to have braces.

Okay. Like, wait a minute, this isn't fair. . Yeah. And braces today is like a, like super cool braces in our generation was like, Oh no. All right. Exactly. , and don't get me wrong, I am so grateful for my parents for doing that for. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I ended up with a good smile. I am happy with that. Yeah. You're got a great smile.

For those of you listening, you can't see it, but check out the podcast remarkable [00:21:00] people.com and look at Roberta's episode cover or watch the YouTube video and you'll see her smile . So now you're talking about allergies and you're talking about seasonal allergies, and you're talking about acne. What did you find with that and how did you fix it?

So so let's start with this. So four years ago, on September 9th 2018, I was actually, so let's go back to, let's go back to this. So af after the divorce, the kids, you know, we finished. Getting them through high school. They were in college and I decided to sell this house that I was living in. It was too big for me, it was not necessary and it's time for me to kind of move on and didn't know where I wanted to go.

So I found this cute little apartment and I was like, Wow, this is [00:22:00] amazing. I don't have to do yard work. You know, I got rid of my mower, everything. So I've done that all my entire life. And so it was like freedom. So I moved in here four years ago, like, yes, a cute little town here. I have the river right out front.

I can walk to all these little shops. It was absolutely a dream. And at that time I had started teaching classes for hair extension classes. So, and then I started traveling everywhere. It was, it was so amazing. I was actually in California doing some training and that's when I actually received the call.

So this was four years ago and I had been in this apartment for about three weeks, was all. So my daughter had been in an accident and it was, [00:23:00] I didn't really understand, I mean, The situation, I couldn't understand her. She didn't under, she didn't remember it, so she couldn't really explain it to me.

There was no one else. We had no one else. So, and, and since the divorce, my ex-husband and I really don't communicate and communication. There you go. Right? Yeah. So I did, I did contact him at that time and said, Could you please, you know, find out what's going on with her until I can get back? And, and, and unfortunately at that time so my daughter and my, and her father also my ex-husband, you know, they did not have a great relationship.

So, but I did reach out to him to go check on her and it took me, of course, all day to get back home. I had to come back to Ohio. And so, [00:24:00] Huh. That was the longest day ever. And ver you know, she, I would talk to her on the phone. My parents went to visit her, and they're like, Well, you know, I mean, she seems all not too bad.

So she had been actually hit by a car while walking across the street and a crosswalk, and I, I don't know, I, I still can't even believe today all of this. So and she couldn't remember it. She's trying to tell me what happened from what other people had told her. So it was very confusing. But I finally, I made it back and went to the hospital.

And when I first saw her, she was actually, Like in pretty good spirits, maybe because she was on a lot of pain medication or something . [00:25:00] Right. That can do it. That can look legit. Yes. And so, but she was also very she was acting very childish, very adolescent, almost like, Mommy, mommy, mommy. She's 22 at this time.

So it was, it was a little odd, right. She was, she was acting very different when I come to find out later that that's part of the injury that she had. So she sustained a traumatic brain injury and she, she was hit, I guess she hit the windshield with her frontal, so, and then it threw her back and she cracked her skull in the back of her head.

So kind of a do double whammy there. I didn't understand. I've never heard really traumatic brain injury before, so I had no idea what was going on. Plus she had injuries to her [00:26:00] left leg and foot, and so she wasn't able to really move around that well. Of course then the neck and the back issues with everything else.

So I was, I was not, I was not in a good position to take care of her. I was this person who again, lacked this self confidence and I didn't even, didn't even know the right questions to ask. And, and so, so I did the best I could. Looking back now, of course, I would've loved to have known a lot more about this situation.

I wish somebody could have. I could have been, someone could have been there that I could have talked to about this to understand more. And, you know, the hospitals are busy. They're doing the best they can. Yeah. But the next day she woke up [00:27:00] in excruciating pain, and for the next few days she couldn't even open her eyes.

So she had, she would wear like a eye mask while in the hospital. Now when you say excruciating pain, physical trauma, or the brain in the mind. Like the, Like excruciating migraine migraines. Okay. Yes. So just to summarize, you are in California, you are trying to, you know, reestablish life, figure out, you know, this new life after divorce.

You just move into your apartment, everything's going well. You're at a class, this accident happens. You're called back. You really don't know what happened. You never really heard of a traumatic brain injury, a tbi, and now you're looking at your daughter and you're concerned about her health and wellbeing, but then you're noticing her wait, something's off in, in her mind, in her behavior.

And so all this has happened simultaneously, and [00:28:00] you're there alone pretty much. Is that correct? Yes. Yes, absolutely. Okay, so now she wakes up and she's in excruciating pain. Where does this life go from there? Yeah. So the next few days, spending in the hospital and. And so she would wear an I mask the whole time.

She, she couldn't stand any noise, so it was the light sensitivity and the noise. Like she would just, she really didn't move. She pretty much laid in that bed and now when the pain medicine would kick in, she would feel a little better for a little bit, but nothing really seemed to change. The next few days.

It was, gosh, it was, it was really bad. And a few days later, so they're like, Okay, well it's time for her to go home . I was like, Wait a minute. What do you mean? Like, how am I gonna do this? [00:29:00] And I did try looking into some you know, alternative situations like somebody had mentioned different facilities that.

we could take her too. And one of them was not available and the other one we just decided it was better to bring her home. We, as in me, I guess, , right. So, and she was just probably ready to come home, but then she hadn't been living here. So I have a two bedroom apartment, but I only have one bed. And my extra spare bedroom had like boxes, just, that was my storage room.

Mm-hmm. . So she would have to, she you know, would have to stay in my room with me. And that first night when I brought her home, I was like, this, she [00:30:00] is not okay. What is going on? What am I going to do? How am I going to like it? It, it was so difficult and she was having some issue. . And so I thought, I need to get her back to the hospital.

I really don't think she's Okay. Now when you say issues like emotional outbursts, mental fatigue, like she's forgetting things, physical pain, all the above. Yeah. Yeah. All, all of the above. She couldn't, I, I'd help her move around. I had to get, you know, a a shower chair for the shower just so she could get in there and, and rinse off a little bit.

And she just was, she got angry. So I had a friend the next day brought over a mattress for the spare bedroom, so she would have at least a mattress to sleep on while she was here. And [00:31:00] and she just went in there and it's like she would not come out and then she just, Anger came out, and, and there was, of course, again, I felt like nothing I could do.

So I ended up I, I called an ambulance and tried to get her back to the hospital and she refused to go because at this time she doesn't wanna move. She knows if she moves, it's gonna hurt her head more. She doesn't tell me that. She tells me later. I'm just like, What is going on? And as long as she can sign her name and tell them she doesn't wanna go, then they can't make her go.

Hmm. So they left and a friend of hers came over and her dear friend Erin is she has a very close relationship with God. And she came over and she [00:32:00] spent time with Paige and talked to her and, and started praying and, We both started praying with her and that's when she started saying like, I can't do this.

Like, I'm not, Okay. So she agreed that if I, when I called the ambulance, that she would go this time. And so and she did, We got her to the hospital and And how many days was that? Like, was it one day? Was it five days? How many days in between? How long were we home from when you called the ambulance the first time and she wouldn't go to when she agreed?

I think I tried again like the next day. Okay. The next day. Okay. It was like, yeah, within 24, 36 hours, something like that. Yeah. That's a long 24, 36 hours. But yeah. Okay. I wanted to get a timeline so we know how long passed. Oh, it was, yeah. It felt like forever. Yeah. And so [00:33:00] that's probably really when I started Praying like never before.

Right. Someone, one of my friends brought me a bible in the, in the hospital and everything too. And so we got her to the hospital and to the emergency, the, at the near, at the nearest hospital. And so they they did another CT scan and did notice that she had had some more swelling on the brain. So I guess with traumatic brain injuries too, you know, you have the chance of them of more swelling or bleeding on the brain.

You also have the chance of seizures. And so I just felt like she needed more help and they even agreed that she had had more swelling. So they, we brought [00:34:00] her to the best hospital here in Cincinnati and. Within about 24 hours. They knew ex, they knew what to do, like they were on it. And within 24 hours her migraine started to diminish a little bit enough that I would say in the next day or so, she could take her eye patch off and she could actually communicate.

It was amazing. So, I don't know. I mean, you know, I don't have any of those answers. I just know it was a difficult time. I will tell you, I have talked to a lot of people since that have gone through similar situations and have been sent home and went back. There's even a book that goes in my brain that this physician, the same thing [00:35:00] happened to him.

He was a doctor and he. was in a car accident and sustained a a tbi and he didn't even go to the hospital at first. So, and then in the next few years, he would spend his time going to the doctor, to the hospital and nobody could help him. So that's why I'm so passionate about this, and that's why I decided to write a book because I want to help with awareness with traumatic brain injury and seeing where we were four years ago.

So in 2018, and then we would spend the next, huh, two plus years trying to find alternative options, alternative healing, anything I could do. So she [00:36:00] tried. Oxygen therapy, we would try changing. Her diet, which she was actually, she's been a vegetarian for many years and she's a very clean eater. But through the medication she was on and everything she was going through, she wasn't eating well, which probably made her feel worse.

And so I was trying to clean up our diet, clean up our nutrition, and you know, she started feeling a little better, but I could tell she just, she still wasn't back to normal. And will she ever be back to normal? Right. What is that? Mm-hmm. . And so, so yeah, the next couple years I noticed things like difference in personality and also she did lose her, her taste and her smell.

And you know, I [00:37:00] had to go back to work and I remember coming home and, and she had like, burnt food because she didn't even smell it, like cracked this, this dish. And, you know, it was, it was concerning. So at this time I'm just doing the best I can, but at the same time, we both just wanted our old lives back.

We just wanted our old lives back. We just wanted to go back to where we were like, forget this ever happened. Obviously that's, that wasn't the case. And last, I would say it was early last year when I noticed that she really, she really needed some more. So we kept trying alternative holistic treatments and she did start feeling a little bit better, [00:38:00] and rest is the most important thing that we have found out.

And so and during that time is when I realized that I wanted to tell my story and I wanted to put it in a book. And it's so interesting because the way that this happened, I had started I began a personal development journey course and I've always been fascinated with personal development. Very interesting, right?

Like I knew I needed it, . And so I read all the books. I watched The Secret, I and I loved. Bob Proctor in them. So he was like a, he's like a mentor for all these people and I actually joined his program and Oh, nice. Yeah, I thought, I don't, It was one of those things you don't realize at the time [00:39:00] that pretty much God handed that to me and I knew I had to do it.

I didn't have the money, but I knew I had to do this. So I started that program and really started evaluating myself and working on me, which also helped me with my daughter. And I started doing things like meditating and really listen, listening to my intuition, which is bad, talking to you and you basically, that's one day I was meditating and had the idea.

That I needed to write a book. And so that's when connecting with your, with your spirit, with your mindset, whatever you wanna call that, and really listening, tuning in and listening. Wow, , [00:40:00] it's a whole new world. It's a whole new world. It has really opened me up. And that's when things started changing. And one thing led to another and I started writing the book.

And then we decided that I decided that they needed to hear her story also. So we wrote the book together. She co-authored it and it's, oh, okay. So like the publisher. So I thought, I don't even have a clue how I'm gonna do this. I don't know anyone that has done this before and that I could even ask for help.

But yeah, and just so people know around the world, I forget all the statistics, but you know, there's only so many people in the world who run a marathon. It's like, you know, I think the number was 15 million, but there's only like 200,000 people a year who write a book. So it's like, [00:41:00] to write a book is more like people are wanting to write books, but it's so hard mentally and emotionally that very few people do it per year.

So that's a huge accomplishment. Roberta, congratulations. Thank you. You know that, so that's, that's interesting. And it's funny because people would think. You didn't, My parents were like, You didn't go to school for that. Like, how are you a writer? And I, it's a different generation now. We just use YouTube.

Right. And, and I don't have a great vocabulary. Right. I didn't go to college, but I had a story to tell. And I had been journaling ever since my daughter was born 26 years ago now. I had been journaling. I didn't realize [00:42:00] that I actually, I guess I, I am kind of a writer and throughout the last four years of her healing, I had journaled the whole time as well.

So, interestingly enough, I kind of had this already down on paper. Mm-hmm. a lot of it. So I just started writing. I just started trying to like, outline it and what would that look like and, and what would the title be and yeah, like. You know, giving the chapters names and, and a lot of that stayed the same, but a lot of it changed as well.

And I will tell you the best thing that happened, I was, was the title of the book. I wanted to, I was gonna name it like Invisible Injuries or something like that. Because the thing about her injuries, yes, they are invisible and she, some days she's great, she can do most things that most of us can do, [00:43:00] and other days she's not.

And so it's very, very hard to understand. And with when this title came to me, wow, it was perfect. So people kept saying they would look at her and they'd be like, Well, but, but she looks fine, you know, She looks fine. She looks good. I was like, That's it. That's . She looks fine. Oh, wow. And I've heard, So I'm in, we're in support groups for traumatic brain injuries and they all said, Wow, that is the perfect title.

I hear that all the time. So then I just started looking around and I confided in one of my friends. I didn't tell a lot of people I was writing a book cuz with remember with my self-confidence they wouldn't knocked. I would've been like, Oh nevermind, I can't do this. Mm-hmm . So I didn't tell a [00:44:00] lot of people and I told one of my friends and she was like, Oh my gosh, I need to introduce you to one of my clients.

She's an editor for this publishing company and that's how it happens. That is how things happen. And so I had a couple of meetings with them and, and that was it. I let them guide me through this cuz I had no idea what I was doing. and or else, Yeah. If I would've self-publish, I don't know if I would've made it this far.

So , you know? Yeah. There's pros and cons to self-publishing or going with an established publisher. It really just depends on your situation, but how God led your journey, it seems to work out great. Right, right. So, Right. Awesome. Well, I have some questions for you and I wanna start breaking things down so our listeners can start applying them to their lives.

And you've shared your beautiful story, but from birth through today for you and your daughter, is there anything else [00:45:00] we missed in the story before we get to question and answer time? Okay. So I will tell you I talked a lot about music and athletics and how when she was young, I had her take piano lessons and she, I swear this girl was born with a microphone in her hand.

She loved to sing. She loved to be the center of the attention. And she was in choir all growing up. She did yeah, she had a, she had, she, she loved that. And, and she probably had some opportunities that she didn't take advantage of. And who's to think that I can pursue a music career or like my son is a phenomenal athlete and he [00:46:00] wow.

He, he, he is amazing. And he, you know, could have maybe gone on to. Sports later in life, but you don't think that you're like, No, be realistic and like, go to college and get a degree. And so my daughter ended up changing her degree a few times and ended up in health education and so, which she's like, I, I love the whole being healthy because growing up I of course fed my children probably what a lot of what I grew up with and which was probably not your, you know, most healthy meat and potatoes and that type of thing, , right?

So, so she loved health education. She actually was able to go back and to graduate from college through disability [00:47:00] services. And after taking some time off after her accident, . So that was amazing. And this was in 2020 when they didn't even get to have graduation . Oh, well she still did it. And she knows that that's what matters.

Yeah. Yeah. So that was a really rough year for everyone. But on top of that, at that point, I had pretty much spent my whole savings on taking care of her and, and trying to you know, find holistic treatments and, and they does cost money. So then one thing led to another. We were, it was rough, I will tell you that was, I know, a wake up call for a lot of people, or the time where we said, Wait a minute, am I [00:48:00] happy with.

Everything. Is there something I can change? And so, you know, my job was furloughed as a hair stylist and I had time to really think, what, what am I doing and where do I wanna go from here? And and that, that is also when everything started changing. So but I did go back to work to the salon, and then in 2021 started the program, personal development program.

At this time, my daughter has been writing music. So during her healing, she takes this time, she's also writing, right? Mm-hmm. writing, but it's turns it into music. So she starts, she's like, I love to sing. I've always loved to sing. And one thing led to another, like God brought us everyone. [00:49:00] She had people like helping her go into the recording studio, you know, vocal coaches, just people reaching out to us was absolutely it was God's plan.

And so she kept on, and that is actually her passion and that is what she's doing now. She is still writing and recording and she has an album out and Nice. Give us the link and we'll put it in the show notes. So whoever's listening, if you want to check out page, right? Yes. Yes. So if you want to check out Paige's work, we'll put a link in the show notes and you can listen.

Yeah. And so what's so funny is that, so she's Paige, Okay. P a i g e, all caps. Okay. So, yeah. Yeah. And So she started [00:50:00] off singing like some r and b and which I absolutely love, and now she's throw some rap in there, which is like, maybe not my favorite, but . It's what she loves. So, and then she released a song on on September 9th, which was four years from her accident called Fearless.

And it's, it's phenomenal actually. Her brother and I, both of us are in that song. We talk in it, so we're recording artists as well. . Nice, nice. . So yeah, so that was, that was very important Part of this is that it's, it's, I think it's difficult for people to understand people, you know, nobody knows, but Paige, what she's been through and.

She basically saw [00:51:00] her life flash before her eyes. You know, I have not, I have not had that. I can't tell you what that feels like and what she's going through. Only she can, but she's doing what she loves and she's a good person and that's what's important. And we are still here in this, in this apartment four years later, which I only thought I was gonna be here for a year, but that's okay.

That's okay. We're working on us and we're working on our things and you know, to have released this book on September 9th and, and her music, and we're just taking this time to really focus on our future. It's changed us, the accident changed us. And now, you know, when I say I wanted my old life back, no way.

I don't want that old life back. Because that was not serving me. [00:52:00] I have a bigger purpose now, and it's amazing when you can, when you wake up. And unfortunately for us, it took, it took, this took a traumatic experience for us to do this. But I know from here on out that I will be, my life is different.

Yeah. Isn't it crazy, like if someone told you or anybody, Yeah, your daughter's going to have a traumatic brain injury. You're gonna go into huge amounts of, you know, financial burden and stress and pain, and you're gonna love it in the end, like, no way. And it, it's not like you want to go through this. But you have gone through it.

You're on the other side. And it reminds me of that verse Romans 8 28 and all things work together for good to them that love God, to those that called according to his purpose. We say this all the time in the podcast, and I hope people understand the depth of it. God never causes bad things to [00:53:00] happen.

He never causes sin. He never does anything to harm us. He loves us. It's a complete lie from Sadian that tries to get us to think that, yeah, God only does good and wonderful things because he loves us, like a good father loves his child, but sometimes he allows things to happen to grow us and it will ultimately benefit us.

So we should never be mad at God. I mean, we can ask God what's going on. There's nothing wrong with asking a question. But we don't question God, you know what I mean? There's, there's that fine line. And now listening to you, that's, you're just the perfect example of Romans 8 28. I mean, who would want to go through what your daughter and you have had to live through, but yet now you're here.

Like, I'm loving it. I'm so thankful I grew. Right? Oh my gosh. Absolutely. Someone just actually brought that Bible verse up too recently. [00:54:00] She's like, That's your verse. And so, Oh my gosh. Yeah. Like, who knew? Who knew? And until, you know, we just keep le we just keep living that day to day life. Just get up, do the same thing.

How about let's get up and do things different today? How about I I get up now. First thing I do in the morning is I wake up and I, I do a little guided meditation and get me in, in a good spirit. And I. and I read from a daily devotional and I might write in a journal and, and spend that time really just, just connecting, Right?

Connecting. Feeling good to get my day started off right. Now I get up earlier now, just so I have more time to be able to do that. It's awesome. Wow, Roberta. Well, listen, we have had a great episode sharing your story. And ladies and gentlemen, if you're just kind of [00:55:00] checking in with Roberta Kenel and she has just shared with us her journey and her daughter's journey.

At this point, Roberta, I want to ask a couple questions from the episode and really start breaking it down. Okay. You ready? Okay. All right. All right. First question is easy. Was it declared an accident or was it recklessness? Like, what happened to your daughter? Did they ever figure out what actually happened when the car hit her?

So from what I know is that this is a horrible intersection. Okay? And so he was at fault because she did have, she was in a crosswalk and she did have the walk sign, but it's also very confusing and it was dark and it was rain. So there's things that I don't, you know, I don't, I don't say [00:56:00] that I blame him.

I think it was just one of those, I don't know, one of those things and it was just, Yeah, and that's, I wasn't trying to lay blame on anyone. Yeah. But I didn't know, was it someone high on drugs? Was it someone texting on their phone or was it simply an accident, like you said, confusing intersection, rain night?

Just as far as I know to, To my knowledge. Yeah. Okay. So now what dur right now you're, I love life and I'm so thankful for where we're at. It's been a blessing, even though it seemed like a curse for the listeners who are going through not just traumatic brain injuries, but just, just tragedy in their life.

What kind of steps, if you were to say, you know, try 1, 2, 3, or this work for me, We've already mentioned a bunch through your episode, journaling, meditation, you know, self development. But what are the things, if you were to give like two or three, this is where you should start the healing process, [00:57:00] what would you recommend to people?

Well, and, and so yes, let's say it's, it's any situation, not even traumatic brain injury or something that you don't know what you're, what you're up against. I wish I would have like confided in more friends maybe, and reached out and accepted accepted that in, So for instance, let me tell you, so people that have read the book, they say that, I know you went through a lot, but I didn't know it was that bad.

And I said, Yeah, well, , I I think in that time I was just trying to survive. Mm-hmm. so. I had no other choice. I'm not gonna go into [00:58:00] work, into the salon and just bring my, my burdens onto everyone else. So I just was doing the best I could. And I, I probably, I didn't tell too many people. How, So I'm hearing you correctly, the, the, the a step you'd really encourage people to take would be to find the balance.

You're not spilling everything to everybody, but you're not keeping it totally private either. You're your inner circle, you're sharing your real life struggle with, Is that what you're saying? Yeah, absolutely. Because you know the people like, you know, there are people that you can, you can talk to and confide in, and you need that.

Like you need to, to have those people to talk to and, and feel, you know, reach out to the ones and when you need help, ask for it. Like, I must either I'm really strong or really stubborn , or both , [00:59:00] that I was just determined to make it through this and so, and do your research. Here's the thing. I keep finding more information and keep you know, finding new, new, new doctors, holistic doctors that are doing amazing things for, for traumatic brain injuries.

So so yeah, just keep looking, just keep searching and have your, and, and hopefully you know, you, you do have that faith. Hopefully you do have that faith in God, cuz that is what really saved us. For sure. Yeah. That's awesome. That is the foundation that everybody needs. Yeah. So for listeners, they're like, Whoa, you know, Bob Sue, they just had this happen to them in their life.

They're forwarding this episode. [01:00:00] What advice do you have for the families of loved ones that have a traumatic brain injury? Like if you were talking to yourself five years ago, like giving yourself advice on how to handle it, how to manage it, the practicality of, like you said, going home, now what do I do?

Right. What are some of the top tips you'd give to those families to help them adjust to the new normal? So understand that they need a lot of rest and understand. Because everybody's, everybody's injury is different, and I'm sure everybody has different situations, different side effects, whatever it may be.

But to, to under, to give, to give them grace. And it could be like any situation, [01:01:00] right? Like any caregiver, I tell you what, it's, it's, it's tough on the caregiver as is on the patient because we want to help and we don't know what to do. We don't understand. And I couldn't understand for a long time that when she was really quiet, I thought, , it's like, did I do something wrong?

Had nothing to do with me. She didn't feel good that day. You know, she, she hasn't a worse headache. So, so just be, being patient and understanding and trying to communicate with. . So even for her, it's like, you have to tell me these things. I can't, I I don't understand you. You know, I don't read your mind.

And I will tell you though, nutrition is the basis for everything. Good nutrition, and starting with just real food. We, we have got [01:02:00] into a bad habit of eating processed foods and I have changed my eating habits and tremendously, and my health has changed. So what's interesting, I'm gonna go back to this, is that there are a lot of people that have had head injury or a concussion, whatever you wanna, however you.

Say this and they don't realize that it, that it is titled it's it's classified under a traumatic brain injury. So when we hear a traumatic brain injury, we think it's something that had to be huge traumatic, but it actually is not a concussion is considered a traumatic brain injury. So I will tell you on a daily basis, I almost run into at least one person that probably has had a traumatic brain injury and didn't know it, and [01:03:00] actually myself for one.

So when I was four, I fell and cracked my skull and I broke my arm. Well, they were more worried about my arm. My arm today is fine, but that head injury when I cracked my skull, I believe. I'm not, I see where you're going with this. And this is the question I had on my list, cuz you mentioned it and I wanted to circle back when you said allergies, acne, keep going.

Yeah. So tell me, Okay, this is what the last year really like. Oh my gosh. Is that why? Because as more research as I'm doing, I'm like, wait a minute. So when you have a head injury, that causes inflammation, right? And the inflammation can cause hormonal imbalance, it can cause seasonal allergies, [01:04:00] it causes all of these things.

So is that, And I put this in the book too, because I'm like, okay, so am I just, am I, you know, one of those people that have been just undiagnosed or misdiagnosed? I never thought to tell any of my doctors that. , I had a head injury. I didn't think about it. Cause I didn't think it was a big deal. Right. I had some stitches stitched me up.

I was good to go. Right. We didn't do x-rays back then. Mm-hmm. , you're like, okay, you're good. And so, but it was all of those other things. Like I have noise sensitivity myself. I have a lot, so many of these things. But now that I know, okay, it's that what can I do? What can I do? What have I done to change that?

And good nutrition has, [01:05:00] I'm on no prescription medicine and in the past I have been on a lot, I've had a lot of health issues. And so starting with that and starting with seeing what does my body need, like the omega three s are extremely important. . So give yourself those brain foods, like the blueberries and walnuts and salmon and, and just start, just start figuring out what does your body need?

And, you know, think really thinking about it and say, when you do go to the doctor, because , I never thought about that. I never thought to tell them about my head injury. So tell them everything that you know, and be your, be your own advocate

and understand. So now that I see these things [01:06:00] that I've had too, also the the meditation and things like that have helped me as well. So does that. Yeah, no. Excellent, excellent. And I think like anything else, there's you, we gotta find balance, balance between holistic and nutrition and meditation and you know, conventional medicine.

But medicine, so many times they just write you off and they just say, Hey, take a drop. Pharmaceutical, pharmaceutical, pharmaceutical. And they're just treating symptoms, they're not curing anything. And that's why it's a multi-trillion dollar industry. So I'm not saying all drugs are bad. I'm not saying you shouldn't take drugs.

Well, bad drugs you shouldn't take, you know what I mean? Pharmaceutical drugs, right. But what I am saying is 99.99999% of the pharmaceuticals are derived from something natural. So if you can go to the natural source, it's healthier for your body with no side effects. So that's why it's really [01:07:00] interesting that you're saying even traumatic brain injuries can be treated with the nutrition from.

Good eating and that, that's something that's really, I gotta study that more and wrap my brain around it because I thought, you know, boom, you have impact. Part of your brain's crushed, or I'm being very ignorant about, about this. But, you know, some of it will come back, but it's tissue. Some doctors will say it'll never come back.

I believe God can restore everything. I also believe that your brain will rewire. It'll like, you know, you have something wrong. Your brain's like, Hey, I can't get blood there. So it finds a new way to get blood to your hand. So, so you're saying that through proper nutrition, the brain is basically rebuilt and rewired.

Is that correct? Yeah. So so from the research that I've been doing is that we used to think that you, that that was damaged cells, that those cells were damaged, but now [01:08:00] we know that you can regenerate and renew these cells and so, well, gosh, oh my, Through stem cell therapy and the hyperbaric, the oxygen therapy and all of these things.

So Dang. Yeah. . Yeah. And it's interesting. It's in, it's interesting. Oh, I'm sorry. There was a delay in, Say that again. Oh, no. What was I, No, no. Okay. So what I was saying is, it's interesting to me personally, because I have some weird genetic disorder between the blood brain barrier. So my brain doesn't get all the nutrients that normal people do.

So because of that, I have weird things. Like I can't, I don't, I don't really drink anyways, but I can't get drunk if I tried. Literally, I just, I could drink a ton and not even feel it. I don't get a buzz. And there's a whole bunch of stuff, but they started giving me this nutritional supplement to break that blood brain barrier and [01:09:00] start giving my brain the nutrition it needs.

And this was just a couple years ago. . And when I started taking it, I started feeling more pain and I started feeling things good and bad. But I remember specifically like, if you hit me, I don't really register pain. And when they started feeding my brain to nutrition, I started feeling physical pain. So what you're saying makes total sense that the brain can be restored through nutrition, at least to me.

Am I understanding that correctly? Yeah. I mean, I think that I'm a great example for this, right? Yeah. So it's so funny. I haven't been to the doctor in years, but I probably should go do a, I need a nice blood work drawn. I'd like to see, because yeah, before and after results would be great. , I feel amazing.

So the older I get, the better I feel. Yeah. That's defy science, right? ? Yeah. [01:10:00] Yes. That's awesome. So let's do this. Then. You mentioned one other thing that I think many, many people struggle with, male or female. It's the low self confidence, the not believing in yourself, the just, you know, the inner demons we all face.

So within our last couple minutes here, Roberta, before we transition to where you are and where you're heading, so now we can help you get there. What do you recommend people do? Action. They take suggestions you have for their life. If they struggle with low self confidence or just flat out, you know, beating themselves up each day.

What worked for you? So oh gosh. Such, it was such a struggle for a while. And you know, I've listened to, like I said, the secret and I, and I. all the time. I love [01:11:00] books. And I read like personal development. This has been, this has been going on for a while, but I wasn't changing. And so after I began the program of Bob practice programs, personal development, and basically you'd say, Okay, so I had a life coach, right?

Whatever you wanna title him, or however that is a mentor, a coach. And I started seeing a big difference in myself. And this was like a year long course that I took. So then I, I knew, I was like, Oh, I'm getting so close. I'm almost there. Like, I need to continue this. And I found another mentor Kathleen Cameron, and I began studying with her and she her program helped me in this process.

So for me, I couldn't do it on my own. Maybe some [01:12:00] people can, I mean, I've even, you know, I talked to a therapist years ago and a lot of the activities that she had me do are a lot of the activities that I do now, but maybe was it I wasn't ready at that time? Maybe. This is just a different way. So I think finding that, that, that thing, that person that help and for me, that's what it was.

So I am still in her program right now, and I will continue to learn and grow for the rest of my life. And I am it's, it's those things. It's the journaling, it's the, it's, it's the, you know, daily affirmations. It's, it's, for me, it was a program. For you. It could be, maybe you read one book and you understand it and you read it over and over and over.

Maybe there are just, you know, [01:13:00] YouTube videos that you watch, whatever it may be. It's, it's every day practicing those things that can get you to where you wanna be. But you know, I think we've all heard this title Life Coach and been like, Oh, that's, that's whatever. But when you have one and you see your life change and everyone sees you change and grow, and then you're like, Oh, well maybe it does work.

That works for me. And so I, that is what I'm working on right now. So I have, I'm still going through the program and developing my, my, my course. and I want to help others. I know this. I have changed everything about myself and my life, and now it's time for me to give back. Awesome. [01:14:00] Awesome. So if someone wants to get ahold of you, Roberta, what's the best way for them to connect?

Like, we'll have links in your show notes for this episode, but what's the best way for them to reach you? Well, so like on social media I'm on Facebook course Roberta Canel and we will put, spell my name, in the uh, the link there. So I have that and I have a, she looks fine. Facebook group. I'm on Instagram and it's, she looks fine at, she looks fine, official.

You could email me as well. Roberta Canel gmail. So. , any of those and would be fine. I have a website as well, and so we'll put that in the in the, in the link below as well. So she looks fine. book.com is my website [01:15:00] and working on my, my YouTube channel and my LinkedIn and everything else, so.

Nice. Nice. Now, we talked about where you've been, we talked about a little bit of what you are and kinda your, your thoughts for the future, but where are you going next? What's your next goal and how can we help you get that, Roberta? Yeah, so, okay, so the book, our book, she looks fine. We are promoting that we are doing book signings around town podcasts.

As many podcasts as I could be on to get the word out. You guys are phenomenal for what you do for us. Thank you so much. Let's see. So what I would love is I told you I'm working on launching my, my program as well and helping others through their [01:16:00] journey of whatever that may look like for them, if it's even I even figured out like finally how to like weight loss.

Okay. So I fought with weight my entire life and now I finally found that it's really not about the food. It was about all of those other issues that I was dealing with. So I have such a good balance on everything and but I can see I can see our book being turned into a movie. I think it would be phenomenal and it's so inspiring that that's.

That's my next that's my next vision of everything. Nice. And and then I would love to move to the beach. . The beach is great. I'm gonna tell you firsthand. I thank God I live on the beach and it's [01:17:00] amazing. Yes. So it's definitely, it's like a vacation every day you wake up. I mean, if you like the beach, some people don't like the beach, but I love it.

Exactly. . So if you can get here, do it. Do it, do it, do it. There's wonderful places all over the world. You go where God calls you. I've been in places where when it rained, rain came through the ceiling. But I am thankful to be here now. So you are a remarkable woman. It was fantastic to hear your story and to share it.

And ladies and gentlemen, Roberta made some great points today. You know, she talked about how not just learning, but doing it, you know, repeat those life. Not just tips, but the life habits. Repeat 'em each day. So you can have an amazing life in this world, and most of all, an attorney to come. And then also with the coaching, you know, the Bible says, you know, [01:18:00] to her good, but a threefold quarter is not quickly broken.

You know when you have that fellowship as iron, sharpeneth iron. So the man accountants of his friend, God said it's not good for man to be alone. And again, this is mankind. So if you have someone that you can share, sharpen and grow together with, do it. But if you don't get a life coach, get someone you can trust that has success and that can teach you, encourage you and hold you accountable.

Right. Isn't that a big part of it, Roberta? Doing and being accountable? Oh, absolutely. Yes. And understanding that that. Your growth. I mean, this should be a life. This is our lifelong journey. Yep. This is not like today. This is it. I'm, this is me. No, I will continue to grow and, and learn and, and you just, we want to be, we want to be better people.

And the more that you give yourself, you can [01:19:00] give others, you can help others. And it's never too late. Look, , so I've been, you know, I'm, I'm 53 and I feel like I'm just getting started. Yeah. Yes. And it's like if you're watching this, you do not look 53. I thought you were in your thirties and you said you had a 29 year old kid.

I'm like, What? So she's practicing what she's preaching, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. So Roberta, it's been great to have you on the show. Ladies and gentlemen, we love you. Please, seriously reach out to Roberta, even myself, if I can help you and share this with friends and family, coworkers, people that it will help and encourage.

And it's not to promote the podcast, it's to promote each other life and ultimately be together and turn you with God. So I'm David Pasal. This was our remarkable friend, Roberta. Roberta, thank you again. Thank you, David. Thank you so [01:20:00] much. All right. And ladies and gentlemen, we see we will see you in the next episode chat.