Remarkable People Podcast

Anngelica-Marie Eshesimua | How Emotional Pain Lead to Physical and Mental Illness, & How to Identify and Wake-up from Unconscious Living

August 24, 2022 David Pasqualone / Anngelica-Marie Eshesimua Season 5 Episode 516
Remarkable People Podcast
Anngelica-Marie Eshesimua | How Emotional Pain Lead to Physical and Mental Illness, & How to Identify and Wake-up from Unconscious Living
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Show Notes Transcript
"You might be unconscious if…" - Anngelica-Marie Eshesimua


How does the pain of our past affect our present? How do the injustices that occur to our family internalize and affect our thinking today?

Abandoned by her father at a young age, burdened with socioeconomic hardships as a child, and growing up as a Haitian American in Miami, today's guest may have only been around a few years on this earth, but has already gleaned a massive amount of experience. While her mother was an attorney, she watched the system punish her mom for doing the right thing. That left a lot of insecurities, anger, and mistrust in her life. And today you are going to not only hear her story, but how that pain turned into physical and mental illness. The great news though? She figured "it" out!  How to not only deal with the pain, illnesses, and struggles of life, but treat them without relying on big pharma. And today she's not only doing this for herself, but here today to help us all. Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to this week's episode of the Remarkable People Podcast, the Anngelica-Marie Eshesimua story!

 

SHOW NOTES:

Guest Contact Info:

  • Website: https://www.anngelicaalways.com
  • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anngelicaalways/
  • YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6sDZUedZyUZbhbFKbhR36A

 

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THE NOT-SO-FINE-PRINT DISCLAIMER:

While we are very thankful for all of our guests, please understand that we do not necessarily share or endorse the same beliefs, worldviews, or positions that they may hold. We respectfully agree to disagree in some areas, and thank God for the blessing and privilege of free will.

Anngelica-Marie Eshesimua | How Emotional Pain Lead to Physical and Mental Illness, & How to Identify and Wake-up from Unconscious Living

How does the pain of our past affect our present? How does the injustice that occurs to our family internalize and affect our thinking today, all this and more on this episode of the remarkable people podcast.

Hello friends. Welcome to this week's podcast. Today's guest has little in years on this earth, but a massive amount of experience. Illustrations stories and practical life that she [00:01:00] can not only connect with us, but we can glean from her pain and her successes. So we can grow, heal and become better people.

This young lady was abandoned by her father at a young age. She struggled with socioeconomic things, basically grown. Poor. She was a Haitian American down in Miami and her mother was an attorney. And as you're gonna hear her mother was done wrong. And then that left a lot of insecurities in her, a lot of anger, a lot of mistrust.

And you're gonna see in her story, how that built into not only physical illness, but also mental illness as well. But the great news is she figured out. How to deal with it and treat it without relying on big pharma. And she's not only doing this for herself and helping [00:02:00] others, but she actually launched her own website and product line that we can benefit from as well.

So this is a packed story. She's an author, she's a singer, she's a writer she's worked in Hollywood. For major motion, pitchers, TV shows, Netflix movies. This young lady's done a lot. And as you're gonna see, today's guest is gonna be very open and transparent and her story's gonna help you. And I go from the walking dead.

To the living. So I'm David Paone. This is the remarkable people podcast and welcome to the Angelica Marie story.

Copy of RPP E105 Anngelica Marie Eshesimua INTERVIEW: Hey, Angelica, Marie, how are you? I'm doing great. It's a Friday. I'm I'm ready to enjoy the weekend. How about you? oh, me too. Me too. Our listeners don't realize it yet, but we're [00:03:00] recording this on independence day, weekend, and I don't know about you, but after Easter independence day is like my favorite holiday.

So I'm stoked for this weekend. Do you feel the same way or what's your favorite holidays in the year? Favorite holiday. Would probably have to be new year's because I am Haitian, so we have a tradition where we make new year's soup. So I always look forward to my mother's food and it's just, it brings me home.

I love food. I love soup so great time. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. And anytime family and traditions involved just makes that much better, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I told our audience just a little bit about you. In the introduction. So they're ready for this episode. So if you don't mind, we're just gonna jump in and let them meet you.

So how the podcast works is we go through past, present and [00:04:00] future of our guests. We're gonna cover the highs, the lows, everything in between. The good, the bad, the ugly, the pretty ugly. Okay. So the goal is just to share your story. I'll ask you questions along the way, and all of us as a community can grow together.

And then at the end, we'll transition into where is Angelica Marie today and where are you going? So now we, as the audience can help you get there. So at this time you mentioned you were from Haiti. So what was your upbringing like? Did you have brothers, sisters, mother, and father in the home? What, what was your childhood like that helped formed you into the woman you are today?

Yeah, I was born and raised in Miami, Florida as a first generation Haitian and Nigerian kid. My mom came from Haiti and my dad from Nigeria. And I grew up pretty much as a single child and my mom was a single mother. So it was very much always me and her. [00:05:00] And I really had to learn how to grow.

Pretty early. There was a lot of moving around in my childhood from different schools in Miami to going to New York. I went to a total of seven different schools before I got to college. So I was a very introverted kid, very much kept myself. But the only constant in my life was performing in the.

And I really saw that as a way to tell my story. Cause I didn't have a lot of people to tell it too at that time. But I think the most formative thing about my childhood, you know, especially being raised by a single mother and in truly not an economically stable environment it really put me in survival mode pretty young and you know, I'm sure like a lot of your listeners can, can relate to that too.

And that's really translated into [00:06:00] who I am today. You know, I worked hard, got great grades, you know, AP classes all the time, just really trying to get together to go to my dream school, which was the university of Southern California in Los Angeles. Was able to do business in cinematic arts. But not a degree in the arts, which that's a little tidbit that'll pay off later in my story.

But I, I got that degree. I was able to work at, you know, some of the biggest entertainment companies ever Sony Netflix. I never thought I would be able to have that, that opportunity. But once I graduated college and I was on this successful path, this was 2019 when I graduated. I noticed a huge shift in my mental health and in my mental wellbeing.

And in November of that [00:07:00] year, I discovered a benign breast tumor and fibro Didoma. Of course I didn't know, was benign at the time. There is some cancer in my family. So this discovery made me truly look inside myself for the first time. Ever in terms of, I was always focused on success and outward achievement and survival, and you know, this physical and mental, you know, crisis that I was facing really made me reorient my life.

It got me to the stage where I left the entertainment industry and I started my own health and wellness company. Ecqua inspired by the herbs and oils that my mother raised me off of. And that have been used in the family for generations, for, you know, physical, mental, spiritual healing. I launched that company in 2020.

I was super enthusiastic. Super positive was gonna be like, this is the best [00:08:00] thing. There's no one in the health and wellness space really focused on creating community and helping people learn how to use the products. Not only physically, but like. How they're feeling mentally, how you're feeling spiritually, that affects your health.

But obviously the inevitable trials of entrepreneurship really, you know, knocked me onto size and I fell in two or three month long depressive episode. I learned that I was attaching a lot of my self worth to outward success, and I was really drowning in fear. And you know, discovered my bipolar two diagnosis through this whole tumultuous phase in this was late.

Oh, this is actually 2021. when I was going through this and, and going through those growing pains after launching my business until now where I have realized that a lot of my [00:09:00] mental, you know, ALS and I think the, the waves of mental, I think, struggles that we all go through. I was experiencing that because I was denying a big part of myself and, you know, realizing that I wasn't fully happy and fulfilled.

because I neglected my artistic side. So now going into the stage of my life, where I am both honoring my creativity and you know, my work through my business, through MEWA and really bringing them together to show people that you can have a, a balance fulfilled. Builds on a foundation of true self care, which I think is, you know, physical care, mental care and spiritual care, just living in your purpose.

So that's, that's the, that's the overview of my story, David. Nice. Now let me ask you a couple questions. So did you have any brothers or sister? Was it just [00:10:00] you and your. I have three older half brothers, but they're much older than me. The youngest is about 10 years older than me. So I pretty much grew up in the house alone and pretty much lived with my mother alone.

So your mom and dad were already together and then like they were together for a long time. And then they got separat divorced when you were a child. Oh, no, they split when I was two years old. Okay. Yeah. So you didn't really grow up with a dad too much. No. Like he, he was based in Los Angeles or not Los Angeles, Miami and I was born and raised in Miami until I was 10.

So he really wasn't that present in my life. You know, for most of my life until actually a month ago, I was very much holding resentment and anger towards him, but actually now fixing that relationship, which I'm very happy about. But yeah. Nice now growing up, did you feel like man? I wish [00:11:00] my dad was around.

There's an absent from my dad. What, what was your thoughts on your father growing up? Mm-hmm I think it was more of. Kind of a bitter acceptance of that's the way things would be. And thankfully, I had a family friend who was a family or a father figure to me. So there wasn't like a complete absence of that in my life.

But I think it really manifested itself in subtle ways. Again, you know, Again, this is a lot of like attachment issues, anxiety issues about like relationships and how your relationship with your parents manifest in your, you know, romantic and interpersonal relationships that I really had to recognize and face and begin to feel.

If I wanted to live a healthy, balanced life. Oh, yeah. And I'm sure like us all, we're all still growing and learning every day. And that's why we go back to the childhood, [00:12:00] cuz there's so many things that happen in our childhood and they're not, we can't make excuses, but that clearly is the cause of what we're dealing with and what we need to overcome.

So, you know, anybody, I didn't grow up with my father, like kinda like you, it's weird around 20 years old, it's like, why do we have this need to go find him? Right. But when you spoke with your father, Did you guys have a pleasant experience? Was it negative? Did you feel like you had healing? Is it still like, let's see what happens?

Where are you at with that relationship? It was surprisingly pleasant. Like I was super, super scared to, to do it. I called them because I was in this emotional intelligence training and towards the end of the training, they push us to call three people that we have unresolved relationships with or, you know, unhealed relationships with.

So I called him and I. Talked to him for over a year. And even before that was very strained and superficial conversation. But I [00:13:00] called it went better than expected. And yeah, it was just, it, it's not all sunshine and rainbows. We won't be skipping down the street, but things are, things are moving along.

Yeah, no good. It's a starting point and it's moving forward. And then you mentioned bipolar too. Talk to our audiences cuz during the seventies and eighties they called a lot of people, struggling, manic, manic, depression. Mm-hmm then during the nineties and two thousands, they said it's bipolar. And now recently with the news and pharmaceuticals are like bipolar one bipolar, two bipolar three.

Explain what bipolar is and what bipolar two. So bipolar is a mood disorder where you can experience periods of mania. So that's a very hyper elevated mood. It leads to very irrational decisions delusions of grandeur, [00:14:00] and then you have depressive episodes. So. Feelings of hopelessness. It can be like suicidal ideations increased lethargy, bipolar two.

You still have those depressive episodes, but instead of mania, you have hypomania. So hypomania doesn't put you. in as much of a physical risk in terms of really risky behavior or dangerous behavior, but you are hyperized to do things and, and focus on things and spend money and launch pro projects.

So I realized that. I had bipolar too, because even the launching of my business was in a hypomanic state. Really triggered by, again, the trauma that I experienced of having, you know, these breast tumors, no one around to really support me. I was living alone in Los Angeles at the time. [00:15:00] And I launched this business and was super focused on.

And again, when people see all that I've done with the business, the website, the products, everything I've built by myself, they are stunned that I was able to do it. And I realized that I was able to do it because I was fueled by my hypomania. So that's, that's basically what bipolar and bipolar two is.

Yeah. And I had to guess George Hoffman, who had. He bipolar depression manic depressive. And he's been able to maintain it for 30 years without an episode because he does biblical based meditation and he's found ways to help himself. And now he has a lifelong mission to help in others. What have you found that's helped you along the way to stabilize.[00:16:00] 

Yeah. You know, truly coming out of my episode is when I Learning. That is how I developed my system and framework that I use through my company. It's called self care success. I think when people think about self care, they think about the really superficial aspects of it, but it's truly a daily practice that builds a foundation of stability for your life, which I need more than anyone.

So it was really that physical care for me. So using herbal support, I. Tried traditional medications for my bipolar too, for me, it didn't work. So I had to rely on herbs that have antidepressant properties and move stabilizing properties for me. And then daily healthy habits like meditation and yoga.

I have to do that every single day. My mental care. So rewriting my story. I mentioned that, you know, I attached a lot of my self worth to my success, and that was [00:17:00] really fear based. So taking time to recognize that, and then let that story for me go so I can keep on facing, you know, the inevitable, you know, failures and I'm, I'm using quotes right now, but , it's only, we do video on audio.

So thank you for pointing that out for the podcast. Only listeners. Yes. Yeah, failure is only failure if you don't learn from it. And then my spiritual care, and this is the most important for me because spiritual care is just being connected to your purpose and your gifts and taking the time every day to hone them and share them with other people, share them with the world.

And that's just my, my creativity as well as my message. So I learned that if I don't. Feed and support these pillars and refor it reinforce these pillars every day. That's how I fall into these episodes and become [00:18:00] mentally unstable. Now I so many questions and we are recovering so much in your life.

So thank you. I just know that so many people are struggling with these issues specifically in similar issues. And COVID really exacerbated and brought to the surface for many people, the reality, but for people who kind of saw it and it was under control, it exacerbated mental illness. First off, go back to, let's kind of start through your life story into today.

When you were growing up, like you mentioned, you'll get into a depressive slum mm-hmm you were afraid to fail. What was it that you were running from? Were you trying to win love? Were you trying to win approval? Does it tie back to that absent father in your life? [00:19:00] Or was there anything else that created this absence in your life that you were trying to run from?

And. For me, it was escape. It was all about escape. Cuz again, very like economically unstable environment just because of Well, we, we go in depth into this podcast, so I, I can tell the full story there. Yeah. Yeah. Don't there's no rush. Our listeners used to long format. So share as you see fit mm-hmm

Yeah. So my mother Haitian immigrant, she practiced law and opened up her own law firm a few years out of law school in Miami and she practiced civil rights. She used to take on cases representing the very, you know, the most vulnerable people in our society. And she took on a lot of huge corporations and law firms as she did these cases and she [00:20:00] garnered a huge name to herself.

The case that she took when I was born was against the Sheraton hotel. In Miami representing a group of Haitians who were justly fired and faced racial discrimination. She went up against an international law firm called Holland Knight and she was a solo practitioner. She just, her. Her practice, her paralegal.

The, the battle went on for a few years, caused her hundreds of thousands of dollars out of her pocket, but she won and this upset a lot of people because you know how dare this, this immigrant woman beat us at our own game. And someone, a man from the law community. Asked to see her books because he didn't believe that she was handling the settlement for her, her clients properly.

And this was the same man who rejected and turned away these Haitian litigants because [00:21:00] he thought the case could not be won. Obviously she refused because it was extremely disrespectful for him to question her intelligence. And he went to the bar and filed a complaint with the bar saying that my mother.

Stole the, the settlement funds, which is a federal crime mm-hmm . So the bar launched this investigation against her and basically stripped her of her license. And her only means to make money. So that's why we are in a very financially unstable environment and situation because her, her whole livelihood was, she built the American dream for was taken away from her.

So. Because I saw this and grew up in this, it really turned me into going into survival mode. And I, I realized I spent most of my, most of my life up until now, deeply [00:22:00] unconscious and operating and trying to succeed from a place of, again, survival and fear instead of genuine desire. To, to show myself and to change the world.

So yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't very happy as a child, again, moving around a lot. I was Mo mostly focused on school and I had some like burst of expression through musicals in place. But emotionally I was not really there. And again, it, it, it worked for me. I succeeded, I got to my dream school in USC.

I got to experience a, a whole nother quality of life and experience of life that I had been dreaming of and obsessing over for years. But, and this happens a lot when you get what you've been hoping for for a while. And it's, it's, it's not. [00:23:00] Feeling like it. Should you feel like something's still missing again?

That's what I started to feel at the end of 2019 when I was working on a television show in a very hard to get job. That's when my, my condition really started surfacing for me. I believe it was, it was dormant for so long because that kind of hypomania of it that just working was, you know, getting me to where I was at that.

But it, there's only so long, you can run off of fear, you know, off of fight or flight. So I was fighting my entire life and, you know, eventually it's like I have to fly. I have to get out of here. And then that's when my, my cycle began. Now. What about, did you get officially diagnosed at some point? Did you have to, in Florida we call it baker acted.

Like if somebody really goes. Manic or they really go depressive, you know, one disagree or [00:24:00] the other, and they're considered not fit to, they could harm themselves or others. Like, did you have anything like that in your life or did you come to the conclusion? I need help and seek help? Or did you be like, whoa, I'm gonna find just a local doctor.

How did you handle it once you started seeing the symptoms? Yeah, I saw the symptoms. I knew I needed help. I remember, I remember the exact day I called my mom and I was like, you know, and I don't like this term, but you know, I was like, I think I'm going crazy. And she was like, you know, go to the therapist, go to a psychologist and a psychiatrist.

And I did, and I told them my symptoms and they were like, yeah, this, this sounds like bipolar, too. So, I guess unofficial diagnosis, it's never, I've never gone to the point where my, my livelihood is in jeopardy or I've put the, the lives of other people in jeopardy, but, you know, mental illness runs in my family.

So I just know that it's, it's likely that I have the condition. [00:25:00] Oh yeah. And just so you know, I. Angelica Maria, I'm not questioning you. I'm not trying to belittle or lift up what you're dealing with. What I'm trying to do is just create a baseline that the audience, people listening like, wow, I got a lot of similarities.

I want to, I'm just trying to make sure we fully understand this. And the difference between, like you just mentioned psychiatrist. The big difference. You have counselors, you have psychologists, you have psychiatrists. Those are the big bins in different states and countries. And if you're listening, the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist is well, there's a lot of philosophical differences, but the ability to prescribe medicine.

So you went to see someone who could prescribe you medicine because you knew mental illness ran in your family and you were looking for help. Is that correct? Correct. And she prescribed me medicine that I was on for a while. And again, every person reacts differently, but I, I took it and I [00:26:00] believed it worked for me.

But I started to again, face external stressors and triggers mainly that I just wasn't happy in my. Line of work and job that eventually led me to been a rapid cycle. Rapid cycling is when you it's horrible. but it's when you, within a short period of time experience like extreme depression and.

Hypomania arm, Romania. And you feel both invincible, but extremely sad, like within a 24 hour period, you're you really have no control over your moods. And it's very hard to ground yourself in reality. Took, she prescribed me more meds. It did absolutely nothing for me. But eventually I took herbs to help stabilize me and it worked.

But I still had to do the work of recognizing what wasn't working [00:27:00] in my life that was triggering me and make the necessary changes to be stable. Yes. And I am, I gotta be careful how I say this because my personal experiences and beliefs. Line up with what you're describing. Maybe not what you believe, but what you're describing, I personally believe that most of the pharmaceutical prescribe to people today make things worse, especially long term, like sometimes short term, you get the bandaid, but a lot of the pharmaceuticals make things worse.

And if I'm hearing you, you were saying you definitely got. Relief at upfront, but then things started getting worse and you went into these rapid cycles. And now you're trying to find a solution. So the psychiatrist is like writing you prescriptions, like candy. None of them are working, but you went to a more herbal holistic approach.

And [00:28:00] that's where you found stability and relief. Is that correct? 100%. Yeah. Yeah. And, and I'm not gonna put words in your mouth, but I'll say it, cuz I'll take the hate mail. Time after time when I talk to people in my own life, you know, I've had three times in 45 years where I was they're like, Hey man, make out your will.

You're dying. And every time they prescribe me medicine to get me quote, unquote, better, there's those air quotes again. Right. It usually just made things worse. And even with Psychological and emotional, you know, depressants. I, I had to take medicine for pain, nerve damage, but it was an antidepressant and that stuff made me depressed.

So that's why, when I'm listening to your story, it does not surprise me at all that. Your healing and your comfort came from herbs. Now everybody's different situations are different. Our body structure, our DNA is different, but what herbs and solutions did [00:29:00] you take that started helping the stabilization and healing cycle?

St. John's ward St. John's ward is an antidepressant herb. There are critical studies that shows that, you know, it can have the same efficacy as you know, standard. Antidepressants. The only difference is the side effect of taking it is not becoming more depress. Or, you know, having, having ticks my psychiatrist tried to prescribe me something and she was like, you might have, you might start having involuntary ticks.

If you do, I'll give you something for the ticks. And I said, no, thank you. And that'll cause insomnia, then we'll give you a drug for insomnia. Surely you're paying 1200 bucks a month in, in copays to, to pay for the pharmaceutical industry. Right. It's ridiculous. But yeah, St John's work is like the, the center one I take holy basil.[00:30:00] 

That the nickname for holy basil is the queen of herbs. There's wait, repeat that. Say that again. Yeah, holy basil. And the nickname for holy basil is the queen of herbs it's been used for centuries. Like a traditionally Indian herb and there are three types. So that really helped with my mood stabilization and again, all of these herbs and why.

Just to give context to it. A lot of our traditional pharmaceuticals are inspired from and taken from the genetic genetic makeup of these herbs that have been around, you know, since before we existed. But they are manipulated to be stronger, but this exact manipulation and mutations. Can affect our body in negative ways and have these side effects.

So herbs, you know, because these [00:31:00] natural structures are more aligned and in tune to our body, of course, every herb, it is medicine. It does have some side effects, but not nearly as disruptive to your overall, you know, physiological system. As a lot of traditional medicines can be. all that to say, if you are taking traditional medicine and working for you, obviously keep taking it.

I am not against the traditional medicinal system. Traditional medicine removed my tumors. But. That's I'll just say that to say that. So holy basil, St. John's ward. I take clothes lavender. These are all herbs that my mother made tinctures for me by hand. So her love and care is in there and she gave them to me and they stabilized me.

They seem. Yeah. And I want you to share freely whatever your opinions are. I'm gonna share freely what my opinions are. [00:32:00] And it sounds like they line up pretty closely, but I want our listeners to be able to form their own opinions and they're bombarded every day. I don't care what country you're from. If you're watching a television or looking at your phone, you are being filled with propaganda from the pharmaceutical companies, from the government.

And like you said, just like knowledge, all truth comes from. All healing comes from these herbs and these spices and the pharmaceutical industry says, Hey, that works. So then they take it, they rip off a manmade copy and they replicate it and try to soup it up. Mm-hmm , but that doesn't work all the time.

Cuz there's 50 things they don't know about that make everything work together. But I can't think of, you can overdose on anything, but I mean just carrots, carrots are super healthy. But yeah, if you eat too many carrots in an excessive amount, the beta Carine turns you orange, right? But that's an excessive amount.

I mean, you'd really [00:33:00] have to try, but still, other than coloring your skin orange, you're not gonna have a problem with pharmaceuticals. They tell you 10 seconds on the commercial, how great it is. And then they give you 50 seconds of all the side effects. So if you're listening Angelica, Marie, and I, at least I'm gonna say for me, if you need a medicine, take it.

But try to get off it where you're completely without it. So you're not dependent on these pharmaceutical companies, the government, the supply chain, cuz right now in America, especially we made a huge mistake to be 90% of our pharmaceuticals come from China, communist China, and we have bad relations with them.

If they shut off the supply chain, we're screwed in a lot of ways cuz our society is so dependent on it. So. Whether it's the holy basil, the queen of herbs, the St. John's Warr, the lavender essential oils, check it out. And we're gonna put links to Angelica Marie's [00:34:00] website. And if you don't mind Angelica Marie, I know there's probably for every.

St John war. Am I wrong? That there's 50 manufacturers and different qualities of them. Maybe you can send us some links of ones you'd recommend, or maybe you sell 'em on your website of quality products that people can at least trust from you, your recommendation to say, Hey, here's a good starting point.

See if this helps your mood and, and you can kind of transition with doctor approval and care, you know, start taking St. John's ward. If it's helping back off the pharmaceutical. I mean, does that sound reasonable? Yeah, 100%. Oh, is this is, you know, if you're new to using, working with herbal medicine, you know, it's it's medicine first and foremost, and I always encourage you to like, keep your doctor abreast to what you're using.

With O ECWA. I have an Herba. On staff who does an initial free consultation, just to see where you're at, see [00:35:00] what chronic issues that you're dealing with. And then we have a trusted manufacturer also out here in California that creates the herbs for you and sends it to you like a prescription.

So it's very standard. Easy process and we really wanna make it, you know, just as streamlined for you as possible and give you the care and attention and explanation for things that you need and deserve. Cuz that's something that I was really missing when I was dealing with, you know, my tumor and not being told why.

Was happening to me how, like what it was doing to my body, like aftercare, none of it was really explained to me. So, so yeah, that's, that's how we can help you with AEC one and just getting, just getting used to herbs. And if you're tired of, you know, Depend being dependent on medicines that really [00:36:00] focus on symptoms rather than preventative care and maintenance of your health.

Then I'd be honored to help you. Excellent. And again, we'll put links in the show notes. And we'll have at the end of the show, if somebody wants to get ahold of you the best way to, but what's your health like today? Have the, and I assume would it be considered breast cancer? I know you said there were benign tumors.

Are you cleared up? Are you still have any ongoing issues? Where are you with that today? Thankfully they're, they're cleared up. I'll have to get another checkup soon, but you know, truly my health began with my, like my menstrual health and cramps. I had debilitating debilitating cramps. Like I could not function in college and immediately I was prescribed and thrown birth control.

Birth control that'll help your pain. Boom, but there are many side effects. And one of the side effects of taking hormone birth control is the development of fibro [00:37:00] Toomas, which I got. So once I found that out, I immediately stopped taking the birth control and found more holistic ways to address the pain that I was feeling and my menstrual health and my pain has been reduced by 80% without using any like hormonals synthetic things in my body.

Mentally unstable and great. I haven't had an episode. The last like minor episode I had was. About six weeks ago and that's before I accepted and recognized that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do fully, but now that I have, and I'm taking steps towards that, I feel stable. So I'm, I'm doing great.

I'm the best that I've been in a very long time. So I'm thankful for that. Amen. And if you're listening, you know, you can rewind and play these episodes over and over again. But what Angelica Marie just said. Think and [00:38:00] connect the dots, pharmaceuticals mimic with major flaw nature. But if you can find the herbs and these supplements, the God-given source of these healings, you're gonna be so much better off without the long term side effects and consequences, because like you were just talking about birth control.

They prescribe that to teenage girls like candy, right? And they're like, oh, you got cramps, take birth control. It's all part of a bad philosophy, but that stuff can make you sterile. It causes tumors. It causes all sorts of problems that they say are rare, but it's really the norm in most cases. So if you were prescribed anything.

Look for a natural solution because it's better for your body. It's better for your mind and you're not gonna have these negative side effects. [00:39:00] So with you struggling right now, or back then, Angelica Marie COVID hits, you're starting a business. You're struggling. Your health is an issue. How did COVID affect all of this?

Well, the funny thing is I started my business after COVID because I saw, and I knew that COVID was just exacerbating the underlying health issues that we had physically and mentally. You know, in this country, around the world. So I wanted to start this company to really standardize and make easy, the use of herbal medicine and, and just a very communal aspect in way.

Omic is Nigerian for God sent nature's vessel. So, so that's why I started it. So COVID for me it actually, [00:40:00] hasn't been something. Knocked me off. My course is something that pushed me towards where I am right now. And I really used it as a time of deep self-reflection. You know, I was on a TV show at the time, working 10 hours a day.

Very, not very deeply unconscious. And when I say unconscious, I mean I am not connected to where I am in my everyday life. I don't feel that much attachment or joy towards the future. And I let outside circumstances easily sway me and move me. So I was unconscious. So yeah, that's, that's my relationship honestly, with, with the pandemic has just shifted me towards what I need to, to.

Now, when you were working on the set, were you on camera or off roll? What was your role in these TV shows? I was a writer's assistant. [00:41:00] So I was in the writer's room. On the computer and I would like no pressure, no pressure whatsoever. Right? Oh man. Thankfully, thankfully I was in a nice room.

Everyone was nice. You can be in rooms where people are horrible to you and very abusive. I've heard, I've heard of those rooms, but thankfully. Everyone was lovely. But yeah, I was, I would just write down what the writers would pitch if they shared jokes that they want on the screen, make sure that there's no typos in the script.

And then I'd be able to go down to the stage where we'd film the show. When we started filming it every week and, and just see the actors start doing what we wrote, hear reactions from the audience. And again, this was like, A dream. What I thought was a dream experience for me. And at the time again, I was still very unconscious and very disconnected.

So it was a moment where I had to be honest with myself and say, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do. [00:42:00] Yeah. And you you've said that. And I love how you're talking about the unconsciousness and people, you know, refer to our society as the walking dead, how we're alive, but we're not alive. I believe that it's like with learning there's levels.

You know, sometimes people think they know and like they realize they don't know, but they don't care. And then they're like, oh, I don't know. And then, oh, I get it. But they don't. And they're like, oh, I get it. But then it's like, oh, I really get it. And now I can apply and master this concept. So with your journey of coming from the walking dead, you know, you, weren't conscious to full life.

Where would you say you are? If it was a scale of one to a hundred, cuz it's a journey. Would you say you're at a hundred right now or are you still on the journey to it? Where, where are you at today? I just got to 80 again. Nice. Yeah. I, oh man. I, I have worked hard to get here. Even when I started my business, I was like at a.[00:43:00] 

At a 40 maybe. Yeah. And, and I was, and I was doing, I was in a line of healing work. Right. And I was, I still had so much to do. I say, I'm at a 80 right now because now I know what I'm supposed to do and I'm taking steps towards it, but I'm, I haven't fully been in it yet and actually practice yet just because I'm in a transitionary stage.

And you'll have to go through those transitions when you realize like, okay. Oh shit. So I was unconscious, what do I need to remove from my life? So I can step into who I'm supposed to be. That's a period of time that you, that, you know, the work starts coming in. So that's where I'm at right now. So let's do this.

Let's help our audience. There's people that don't even realize that they're the living day. They, they don't realize they're just going through the motions. They think this is how life is. This is all. Life is talk to someone about, you know, like it was that old Jeff Fox, the old Jeff Foxworthy. You [00:44:00] might be a redneck if so you might be unconscious.

If what are some signs of unconsciousness in our society? Oh, I love this. You might be unconscious. You get easily annoyed and angered. You might be unconscious. If you jump from relationship to relationship and meet the same struggles you might be unconscious. If you don't have any deep, meaningful relationships and you feel like most of your relationships are superficial you might be unconscious.

You do not feel purposeful every single morning when you get up, you might be unconscious. If you aren't grateful for what you have you might be unconscious. If you don't have a desire to learn or develop your skills. [00:45:00] Man that was beautiful. And off the cuff. Now, again, all props to Jeff Foxworthy. I'm not trying to break copyright, but man, I hope you can use that.

Angelica Marie, cuz you just outta your soul, just poured it out. So if you're listening, those are some great and real points she just made. So now people are pausing this podcast like, whoa, I hate to reevaluate so that we're waking some people up. How do you start the journey? Out of unconsciousness. How do you wake up and stir that soul on that mind?

And you know, it's like that slap in the face and that fr refreshing water jumping out of bed with electricity. How do you go from the dead to the living? Hmm. Yeah. So this is something that I like to call the self care success journey. It's kind of modeled after the hero's journey and every story, because you are the hero of [00:46:00] your own story.

That's the first thing you have to recognize and realize you have the power to make every single choice in your life right now. If you don't recognize that you're the main character of your story of your life, then nothing's gonna work. So the first thing of, you know, the self-care journey is realizing the characters in your life right now that are contributing to your unconsciousness.

So, this is again, if you are in an unfulfilling or chaotic or tumultuous relationship if you lack boundaries with your boss, your coworkers, people in your family if. If yourself, if your own ego, if yourself is someone that's very detrimental to your own journey, if you're your [00:47:00] own worst enemy, whether that's through a harmful self image that you may have prioritizing your work over your own wellbeing, your family, over your own wellbeing, you are not selfish.

If you prioritize yourself over your. Prior, prioritizing yourself. And then your family is actually to the benefit of your family. So once you recognize those characters, you'll be able to see why you've been placing them in your life. What, what stories are they contributing to your fear based stories?

And I found, I'd like to say Napoleon hill the, the six universal fears. I think this is a good place to start off. Cuz there there's so many things you can do, but I, I like to start off with just talking about the six Al spheres. Yeah. And just to, I'm not saying to solve everybody's problems right now.

Yeah, yeah. But what I'm saying is a lot of listeners [00:48:00] have connected with you for this hour and they're like, okay. Where do I start? We're just given a starting point. They can always reach out to you. They can reach to other people, but we're just trying to give them something to run and work with. Cuz we have a great community who's looking to grow and then they want to help other people with the healing.

So this is just your suggest of tips to start growing. What worked for you that can help them. Well, yeah, I just, I also wanna note too. I have, you know, in terms of like my whole framework, I do have a free assessment that you can take on themic website and it gives you five tips for your core self care pillar, whether that's body, mind, or spirit and what you can do right now to start like developing that and repointing you with you.

But I think the one thing that I really wanna share. Right now, it's just realizing that whatever difficulties you're facing in your life right now, [00:49:00] they are a manifestation of a fear that you're holding onto literally every single thing in your life. The six universal fears, fear of death, fear of old age, fear of illness, fear of the loss of someone's love fear of criticism.

and oh, fear, fear of poverty. That's a huge one. If you're burnt out, look at fear of poverty. That was one of my big ones. So when you recognize what, which one of those fears or various ones of those fears you are holding onto? You'll then be able to realize that they should have no power over you. Once you look something in the face and you say, I don't need to hold onto you.

You don't need to fuel me in my life anymore. That's when the healing begins. Excellent advice and a lot of truth. And [00:50:00] we'll put a link to that quiz on your website, in the show notes under the resources mentioned and then Napoleon hill, some people have never heard of Napoleon hill, like the dictator and other people, like I know Napoleon hill.

Well, what book did that come out of that he wrote. The law of success, the law of success. Okay. So we'll put a link to them that show notes too. If somebody wants to check it out on Amazon Well, we've covered a lot of ground and kind of circled that same issue. So between your birth and today, is there anything we missed Angelica Marie that you want to cover or share with our audience before we get to where you are today and where you're heading so we can help you get there.

Hmm. if you're watching, that was a beautiful face I guess the biggest thing is that at [00:51:00] my court, I'm, I'm a singer. I write. I, I, that's how I tell my stories, the, the, the wisdom, if you feel like I've impart wisdom to you right now, the best way I share that, yes, I can just talk it out. And I, and I love conversations like this, but I think the most impactful way for me to do it, and the way I've been hiding for myself is through, through song, through story.

So that's, that's my next stage. That's what, I'm what I'm doing. Right. Awesome. And so that's kinda where you are headed. So right now you're running your organization and your company, you're helping people along the way. And you're looking to get into a career full-time songwriting and performance, correct?

Yes. Cool. Is there anything we can do to help you get there?

I think the biggest thing is when I start sharing my. [00:52:00] Because I want to start sharing it primarily, probably on Instagram. I have a very tumultuous relationship with the platform. just cause of how hard it is to grow an audience, how hard it is to be authentic and share things that make people think rather than just consume.

Because I, I want to, I genuinely want to develop true relationships with people and social media is the prevailing way to do that. It's just engage back with me once I start sharing I'm I'm rebuilding and, and creating the content that I wanna share with you on a consistent basis. So it's gonna take some time before I launch.

Yeah, you can, you can help you by just engaging with me, sharing with me what, what you need from me, how can I improve and help you improve? Yeah. Excellent. So what's the best way for our li we have listeners in over a [00:53:00] hundred countries around the globe, but pretty active in about 65, 70 countries. What's the best way they can reach out and connect with you.

What's your, you know, Instagram, your Facebook, your LinkedIn, whatever platforms you use. We'll put all these links in the show notes, but what's the best way to reach. Yes base best way to reach me is on Instagram. I am Angelica, always Angelica with two NS. So a N N G E L I C a always. Also for all my French and Parisian listeners out there.

I am moving to France at the end of the year. Please DM me. I want, I want to make new friends. I love new people if you're, if you're based out there. Yeah. Now as a father that just made me cringe inside. I'm thinking abduction, but hopefully you'll vet out all these meet in the public links. Yes, yes.

Yes. And with guys like me watching you from the back with guns, so we we'll be totally protecting you, [00:54:00] but anyways, so it's been great having you on the show today, Angelica Marie you truly are remarkable woman and thank you for being so transparent with your life and your struggles, and also the steps you took to overcame this listeners.

We love you. Reach out to Angelica Marie, if I can help you, let me know if you are anywhere in the world, there's always people to help, even though it doesn't seem that way and feel that way. So again, reach out, look for people who solid qualified, have a history of success, not just the name badge cuz ready?

Angelica. Marie, what do you call a doctor that graduates first in his class? What do you call him? David a doctor. What do you call a doctor that graduates last in his. Event a doctor. There's no difference between the first and the last. So just because there's a doctor or a phar pharmacist out there or a psychiatrist out there, it doesn't [00:55:00] mean they're good at what they do because frankly you and I could do the same job.

We put enough time into it. So five people are qualified who care, who have a God biblically centered worldview. And they're there to help you not just get another BMW payment. So that's my little disclaimer there. So thank you for being on the show. We really appreciate you to our listeners. Wish you the best.

We'll see you in the next episode and Angelica Marie. Thank you again for being here today. Thanks so much, David. All right, chow.