What Do You Want? How to Identify Your Purpose & Toss the Suitcase of the Past | Barbara A.F. Brehon

“Relax and enjoy being.” ~ Barbara A F Brehon

Guest Bio: Barbara A F Brehon is a spiritual body builder. The Lord has majestically interwoven her reading specialist and theological training, preparing her to effectively equip and escort disciples of Christ to their divine purpose. She is the visionary servant leader of Favored by the Father Ministries. Under that umbrella is a digital application where daily devotions, sermons, bible studies, and more is posted. Moreover, the weekly UNBOXED Podcast is released every Thursday to the ministry’s YouTube channel, Facebook page, plus podcast platforms. She has authored a discipleship and godly intimacy trilogy available on Amazon. The ministry hosts Family Fun, a community fellowship, every fourth Friday at a local restaurant. She delivers God’s Word with integrity to the text whenever, wherever called to serve. She will travel virtually or in-person using diverse platforms giving God’s content as the Lord leads to build the Kingdom of God.

SHOW NOTES: 

• Website: https://www.favoredbythefather.com
• YouTube
• LinkedIn

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CORE THEMES, KEYWORDS, & MENTIONS:

• Purpose, life purpose, fulfilling your purpose, pain to purpose, nun, influence of television, youngest child, connecting with God, being close to God, balance, passions, joy,  developing healthy relationships, trust, listening, hope, crushed spirit, accountability partner, our identity, illness, sickness, pain, “endy“ Endometriosis, mindset, relax and enjoy being, be, be still

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Transcript

What Do You Want? How to Identify Your Purpose & Toss the Suitcase of the Past | Barbara A.F. Brehon 

Finding your purpose, fulfilling it, and throwing that suitcase of burden in the ocean forever. All this and more, right now. 

The Remarkable People Podcast. Check it out.

The Remarkable People Podcast. Listen. Do. Repeat. For Life!.

The Remarkable People Podcast.

[00:00:38] INTRO Barbara Brehon 8 April 2024: Hello, friends. Welcome to this week's episode of the Remarkable People Podcast, the Barbara A.F. Brehon story. This week, you are going to hear from a remarkable woman. She talks a little bit about her childhood. Then we get into what she does to help us grow. And then we move back into their childhood and we [00:01:00] kind of.

Touch on a pain spot for, and even during the episode, not only are we growing and learning, but she's learning about herself. So what do we talk about in this episode, man, we're going to talk about finding and fulfilling our purpose, which I know you hear about all the time, but she takes a more biblical approach to it and it's excellent.

Then, we talk about moving past our pain, and instead of carrying that suitcase around with us and that burden on our back, or going back for it after we left it down, you know, God lets us move forward and be free, and we go and pick the burden back up, she talks about how to release that. Then we also talk about how pain can have an influence in our life, and how the physical pain and ailments of our past.

can have a huge and real effect on our lives, not just then, but now. So we talk about so much with Barbara and she talks about how we can really have freedom and [00:02:00] fulfill our purpose. And it's a great episode. So get your pen and paper ready. Take notes. If you have any questions, reach out to Barbara, reach out to myself.

We'll help you in any way we can, but the goal is to see you have peace and joy and fulfillment and have a better life than you ever imagined. So you glorify God and live the life God intended for you. Even if you're not a believer, you can have that freedom if you don't believe yet. You'll see that the freedom comes when you trust Christ, but if to this point in your life you haven't, listen to Barber's episode, reach out to us, we'd love to help you come to know him.

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We help those companies. We get awesome stuff. You help to keep the podcast going. [00:06:00] And all of it ultimately helps mankind and glorifies God. So I'm David Pasqualone. You're you. I'm so thankful for you being here. Enjoy this great episode with our friend Barbara right now. 

[00:06:12] INTERVIEW Barbara Brehon 8 April 2024: Hey, Barbara, how are you today? I'm doing great. Good to be here. Oh, it's great to have you.

So I just told our listeners just a little bit about you and what to expect in this episode. And they're pumped and I'm pumped. But if before we get started, we may have somebody who's like, I'm not sure if I should listen to this. I'm not sure if it applies to me or this is my first episode, or maybe they've listened to us for all four years, every episode.

If you guarantee them one truth that they're going to get from this episode, if they stick with it through the entire show, what is that one truth, that one burning purpose you have? That one burning purpose is about purpose. I know that your purpose in life can be fulfilled. And that purpose isn't given to you [00:07:00] by another person.

That purpose is innate within you, and your purpose can be fulfilled. As we talk and evolve, you'll see how that can happen. All right, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it right out of Barbara's mouth. If you listen to this episode, when we're done, you're going to be able to be a step closer, or maybe actually the catalyst to fulfilling our life purpose.

Is that correct, Barbara? Sounds good to me. I believe that's what this is about. Amen. So this is a big debate and big topic and an important life issue from the beginning of time when God created us, right? And so many people today are lost or living like zombies or have no purpose. They just float through life and it's a horrible existence.

What brought you in your life to the place where this is not only so important to you, But you recognize the importance to everybody and you're now you're teaching it. So talk to us, where were you born? What was your upbringing like? Let's just [00:08:00] go chronologically through Barbara's story. Well, chronologically, I have to start from where I am now and where I am now, even wearing a t shirt that you can't read, but it says that I grew throughout through my pain into purpose.

And so everything is all about purpose. I grew up in a house with five children. I am the fifth of five children born to the same two parents. I lived in a home growing up where both my parents were there. I've never not known who I am and where I come from. I've always had a great history within my own family in terms of genetics, in terms of who my father's father and father were and my mother's grandparents my mother's parents.

I've always known my siblings. I've always had a good sense of my community where I lived in an [00:09:00] urban community called Norfolk, Virginia. We grew up in a low income housing development. Nevertheless, my father worked hard. and provided for us. My mother did not work until I was 10 years old because it made more sense economically and otherwise for her and my dad to decide that she would stay at home and take care of us.

And so that nurturing And that in home family bond was always there. And so to grow up and discover by meeting other people, you know, after you go out in life, everybody doesn't have that. Everybody doesn't know that. Everybody doesn't have a sense of who they are and what their purpose in life is and what they want to do.

Now, younger years growing up and being in the church, I [00:10:00] had a desire to just want to be close to God, close to the God. What can I do to be closer to God? And I decided at an early age that I wanted to be a nun. And then I knew immediately that I couldn't be a nun because I was growing up in a Baptist tradition and there weren't nuns in the Baptist tradition, but I didn't see what women, what females could do.

And so, I, I, now, before you go on, where did you get the nun image? Did you, did you guys live near a Catholic school? Did you watch TV and you saw it from like the sound of music? Where did you get that nun image in your head? The whole non image just came from life in general. We did not, not live near, near that, but reading and television and just the whole idea of wherever it was I saw it.

So it had to be books at that age cause we didn't go a lot of places. I didn't have the money to go a lot of places. So it had to be [00:11:00] reading books and watching television. Cause back in those days I wasn't really going to movies and things like that either. And so there was a yearning in me, a sense of purpose, a sense of Connectedness to God and fulfilling who I am in him in some way, but I didn't really know how to do that, but I knew how to pursue getting at least closer to him by singing and, and participating in things at the church.

And those were kind of like requirements in the house but all of that helped me to connect and then growing into going to High school, I wrote a paper for my senior year. You got to have a research paper. And I wrote a paper that had everything to do with helping people. And I knew that I always wanted to help people.

Again, this is all about my purpose and my [00:12:00] connectedness to who it is that I think I am. I always wanted to be a teacher. I always wanted to be close to God. So there's this always because I've never not known who I am. I just didn't know how to get to. And so the ministry that I serve now really focuses a whole lot on helping people with the how to.

Not helping people with the what. What I try to do is escort people to their what. Help them to identify their purpose. And so you have passions in life. You have things that you've dreamed about and those, those kinds of things. And, and there's no reason that your purpose can't be fulfilled. You just have to filter the voices that you hear.

And so in my life, I've learned through pain and hardships and bad relationships, good relationships, [00:13:00] neutral relationships, that all of them are just as important as the other. None is more significant or less significant because all of it compiled make me who it is that I am. And nothing is a mistake.

Nothing is a coincidence in my thinking. It all comes together to build that person that you have been designed to become. I hope that I'm making sense to somebody other than myself, because this is really at the, at the heart of who it is that I am and the heart then of the work that I do for God. In my writing, in my podcasting and whatever it is that I do, I'm trying my best to hit that, that same button over and over again.

What's my purpose? How can I help somebody else achieve theirs? How am I growing? Am I helping somebody else to grow? Absolutely. And that's what we [00:14:00] should do. Glorify God, help, love God, love others. Right? So. We have listeners from all over the world. We have listeners from every culture. Like there's one race, the human race, but there's different countries.

There's different cultures. There's different subcultures and purpose in different countries. is perceived totally different. In America, we have so much freedom and liberty that we freaking make problems up because we're really bored. We don't have enough to do, right? Then you have other cultures where you're born in the caste system and that's it.

You are who you are. It's not even a question. You're born to be a shoemaker. You're a shoemaker. You make shoes every day. Don't question it. Don't open your mouth. Just make shoes. So as a Christian, everything Old Testament, New Testament, the way God talks is balanced. You know, finding balance and that peace.

So for someone you're talking with, Barbara, where does it start off to identify and to fulfill our purpose? Where do you [00:15:00] recommend starting in our lives to really focus in and get going? That's a great question. And I actually do that because I start conversations with people who engage me in this particular way by asking what do they want?

And then I shut up. And I let the silence speak to them because then their own voice from within is talking to them. I believe the Holy Spirit is beginning to talk. And so if, if the Holy Spirit pricks me to say the next thing before they do, then I will probably go somewhere in the direction to ask them like I do in my podcast.

So talk about your passion. If you roll your life back to the beginnings. What is your passion in life? What are some things that you've always wanted to do? Something in your gut. So I start with literally who they think they are and try to pull out of them their identity, [00:16:00] not the one that I superimpose on them.

Because that's so critical. Peer pressure, the roles of persons in the community, even within your own family, where people Believe that you should be this or you should be that and you ought to this and you ought to that but underlying all of that is you. So who are you when you get rid of all the fluff and the stuff?

What guides you? What really floats your boat up the river? What gets your engine started? What turns you into a person who's excited about getting up in the morning and wanting to do it one more time? What is that? And so the fulfillment comes in knowing what your true passions are and then that passion feeds what you do daily.

Because it's not work, even though it may be work for somebody else. It's not a task. It's a [00:17:00] joy. It's peaceful. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. Now, I always have experienced two extremes. You know, there's always the rarity of the person that's just born and they know what their plan is and what they're going to do.

I'm going to be blank and they just know it. And that is what quote unquote adults, when we were children, kind of expected from all of us. But yet it was the rarity. Most adults are still trying to figure out what they want to be when they grow up. Right. So again, going back to that balance, when you were speaking about how you help someone, The first two thoughts I had is, when you ask the question, you know, what do you want?

There's two extremes out of balance. One is, Oh, I want something, but it doesn't mean it's godly. [00:18:00] I want to be famous. I want to be rich. I want to be whatever, right? And it doesn't mean you can't be wealthy. And what I'm, but what I'm saying is to just want wealth is, is just uselessness. So you have that one extreme that now you're asking somebody, what do you want?

It's carnal. Then the other extreme is the person who's beat up. They were told like you don't deserve anything and you shouldn't want anything and if you want this, if you want to succeed, if you want to even fulfill like that, like God gave you that gift, but if you want to fulfill it, man, you're just being selfish and, and, and proud.

Okay. So two extremes. How do you deal with those extremes? Cause sadly, and again, correct me if I'm wrong. If you had a hundred people that you coached, I'd say the majority are in one of those two extremes these days. Would you agree or disagree? I would disagree. A lot of people that I do talk with, have a better sense of it, [00:19:00] but they have been crushed.

They have tried, and they have not succeeded, in my opinion, because they gave up too soon. But I don't give them my opinion that they gave up too soon. I listen, and as they are able to speak and talk it out, that deliverance. From whatever is holding them back from either of those extremes helps us to come to a place of their reconciling themselves for themselves.

I simply escort them to that place. And so getting them to talk about it, even though it's wild and at either end and it's really not working, that is at least a beginning. So the original question, yeah, how would you start with a person? It's get them to talking. That's how I start. Get them to feeling comfortable.

If we are at that point in the first place, we've already built [00:20:00] relationships. Which is key. You can't help a person get to purpose if they don't trust you, if they don't think that you care, if they don't think that you're going to listen. But when people feel genuinely that you care and that it's like, well, she sees me.

She hears me. She understands me. She gets me. And so when I ask the question, they know that I'm going to listen, sort of like listening with a third ear, listening with more than the two that you can see. And you understand that process that's physical. And as you say, carnal, as I say as well, but it's even deeper than that.

And so I consider myself a spiritual bodybuilder, helping people develop, helping people to grow. And so when you're talking about those two extremes, it's not my job [00:21:00] to get a person to a particular place. It's my appointment, my assignment to assist them in developing and growing through and evolving into.

And so listening to them and even asking certain poignant questions that will take them. A young lady I was speaking with just yesterday, and I have to be very careful not to name any names. Don't know when this will be broadcast, but that individual will know that it's that one that I'm talking about.

But she is a young lady and she had such passion about what she was going to do. She was going to go into the military for a very, very specific reason, and it would lead her to a particular career path. It would do this. It would do that. And she had such passion. And only three weeks later, she has conversation.

And she says, well, Rian, I think [00:22:00] that right now I'll probably end up doing, and she felt, she sounded despondent. She sounded a little crushed, like somebody had just stomped on her dream. And so I began asking her a series of questions along with what I heard her say, not along with what I wanted her to say.

And I actually told her, sweetie, I don't really care whether you do this or whether you do that. What I care about is that you do what you're choosing to do according to what you believe you've been called to do. So if your ultimate goal was to go into the service to achieve this, then what else can you, are you doing, are you planning to do to achieve that?

Well, then she gave me a scenario that was real for her, and so I said, well, if that's the case, then what is it about that individual? What is it about this [00:23:00] circumstance that would cause that to shift in only a couple of weeks? So maybe, and then I did a lot of questions with her and I told her initially, I'm not asking the question, and this is key in listening.

I'm not asking the question because I need you to tell me the answer. It isn't important that I hear the answer. It's important that you know the answer. And that you take the conversation to God in your private time. If you choose to share it with me, then I'm listening, but that's not why I'm asking.

Because some folks don't want to deal with things because they don't want you to get in their business. They don't want this whole notion of, oh, you just being nosy. No, you could talk to a mentor, you could talk to a pastor, you could talk to your friend, your sister, your neighbor, whoever the other person is, but an accountability partner [00:24:00] is an important person to have.

Any hindrances that you have, share it, talk to somebody that you trust that will hear you. And we'll ask you questions about what it is that they hear you saying so that you can better reflect on things. Cause you know, once you start talking about a thing, you hear yourself. And sometimes you change in the middle of the sentence because you know, that doesn't even sound right.

Oh, you know, that's not really it. I, I haven't even finished the sentence, but I see now that, and that kind of thing is what excites me when I see the aha moments and those lights going off in a person's eyes, and they just light up because they see a revelation going toward who it is that they are. And as she walked away from me yesterday, I was like, She had a glow.

She was glowing. She had a smile on her face. Now, whether she had the answers or not, I have no [00:25:00] idea, but she wasn't dejected and despondent like she was. And this was just in a brief conversation right after we finished the worship experience in the sanctuary and we were getting ready to get in our cars and go home.

She gravitated over to where I was and we just started a conversation. It's like I don't really know what she wants, but as I'm taking off my robe and hanging it up on the hanger and she's just standing there and we're just talking and chatting very casually, escorting people from their now into their next.

It doesn't have to be, a certain kind of relationship, but just as a human being helping another human being. And that's why I was telling you initially that by the end of our time together today, David that people will understand a better way of a how to fulfill their purpose. And it's not really a step by step, [00:26:00] you gotta do this, you gotta do that, and a list of all of that.

The basic thing is to address yourself and dress, address it in a safe place. Now, yeah. And when you were talking, I kept thinking about, you know, not everybody who's listening right now, you as the listener, you don't have to believe in God. Barbara and I do. And all over the world, there's different, again, cultures, religions, and thoughts.

But both Barbara and I are coming at things from a biblical worldview. We believe the Bible, 100 percent God's Word, and trust it. And we've had that joy and peace from in our lives. So we, we definitely want to share it with you. Right. But God made us all with fundamental similarities. where everything works for everybody that's real and true.

So even if you don't believe yet, listen to what Barbara's saying and start following that process and go and, you know, try reading your Bible, praying. And these, but these processes don't work just for [00:27:00] some, they work for all. And when Barbara was talking, I kept thinking about the verses in the Bible, many verses.

It talks about how you know, a merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but sorrows like rottenness to the bones and sin tries to crush us. There's a real God and there's a real Satan and God's huge and sends this little tiny evil lamp. But the thing is, he's still real and he wants to hurt you. He wants to hurt me.

He wants to hurt Barbara. And he tries to crush our spirits and steal that hope and joy. So Barbara, for the listeners out there who are crushed, who are lost and feel discouraged, maybe they're, I was just talking to somebody in the last 24 hours and they were talking about their childhood because they have this amazing gift set.

And I commented on it. And then as soon as I commented, you saw them get sad instead of happy. And then they revealed that when they were a child, their mother told them how worthless they are and don't even try, you're going to fail because you're a loser. And now as an [00:28:00] adult in their forties, this person still believes that lie.

So, so many times Satan puts seeds In us through other people he's influencing and we are crushed. How do you recommend people start feeling that joy and get out of the crush cycle? The beginning again is introspection, self reflection. What Not necessarily made me this way, but what if I had it exactly like I wanted it?

What would it look like? Actually, to me, begin with the end in mind. What do you want? That's what the what do you want is for. What's the end result? What's the goal? What are you striving for? You're sad because you can't. And then I want to know, do you know what? It is that you want, [00:29:00] then you know why it is that you're sad.

If the sadness went away, what would that look like? If the sadness, if the despondency, if the pain went away, what would it take? And the answer to that, at the bottom of it, is generally that there were external forces. Whether they were people or circumstances that were beyond anybody's control, catastrophe, or whatever, the bottom line sometimes is the simple fact, which is difficult to address, that people haven't addressed and forgiven themselves and accepted themselves.

or even like themselves because of the external circumstances in their environment from people or circumstances beyond anybody's control. And so to get them to [00:30:00] hear their own voice, to get them to address The bottom line that you've adopted this because, and now you're so used to having it, that negative that holds you back has actually kind of become your best friend.

And you need a new best friend. You need to get to like yourself, appreciate yourself. Want more for yourself. Expect more for yourself. And then they begin to ask those, well, how do I do that questions? And it's not a list of rules and regulations. It's a lifestyle where you make a decision. I want more for me.

I want peace. I don't want, [00:31:00] I want this. And then what does that look like for you? So then ultimately, what are you going to do about it? And you take baby steps that if there's anything where the steps come in, that's where the steps would begin when you address, okay, here's the tangible goal toward my peace.

Here's a tangible goal toward my forgiveness. Here's my tangible goal toward. So realistically within the next 24 hours, what can you do toward it? Within the next week, what can you do toward that? Now looking back on the last month, what have you done to accomplish that? And even if the answer turns out to be nothing, then, well, how come?

What do you think held you back from? And we're not starting again because the first step was to address [00:32:00] it. And at least we've still done that. And so it's not a woe is me. And it's not, it's, it's not a tied up basket of knots. So. Let's deal with what it is. Let's deal with who you are. And again, that's all about purpose and fulfilling the purpose.

Not being squashed by the pain and the sadness and the rejection and all the things that cause us to be hindered from proceeding toward purpose, but addressing all those realities. And moving beyond them. Yeah. When you're, when you're saying that, it reminded me of one of the, you know, like quotes hit everybody different.

And at different points in your life, someone said to me once Rome wasn't built in a day, which you've, we've all probably heard, but it [00:33:00] was built every day. And that's what you're just explaining that continuously. The next step, what can I do in this hour? What can I do in this day? What can I do in this week, month, year?

So I think that's great advice. What tools or techniques do you usually recommend to people to get started in this reprogramming of the brain and this new mindset? The first thing is always finding at least one trusted other. And I pause after the word other so that it will resonate. Find at least one trusted other where you can depend on them to hear you.

It doesn't have to be a professional person. It has to be somebody that you trust. And you can just call them, you can just visit with them, have lunch with them visit with them in the grocery store, whatever. But one person that you can simply dump something [00:34:00] on for five or ten minutes. Another way is to journal.

Now, I'm a huge fan of journaling because once you put it out there, you know, You know, you don't have to worry about constructing perfect sentences or using the right words. It's for you. And you're at least releasing it, which is what it's all about. So whether it's a person, because some people are talkers and they want to be with another person.

And so finding a trusted person is what they need because they are expressive verbally. The other being a journal. Some people are so introverted and so private and so maybe even, here's the good word for this whole conversation, ashamed. Maybe it's the shame that you don't want to express it, you don't want to address it, but you can do that privately in journaling.

Those are two ways [00:35:00] that can work simultaneously or separately or in an evolutionary sense. Depending on the person that you are, you may be more intro or extroverted. You may be more of a writer or more of a speaker, but those are ways, but, but the key is getting it out, releasing the pressure valve, speaking it, putting it out of there so that you don't explode eventually because you're like a pressure cooker.

And if you don't eventually get it out. It will explode and possibly even kill you because we know that stress. And other kinds of things affect us medically, physically. And if we don't take care of ourselves in the spiritual, in the mental sense of in the sense of mental health, then those are things that are devastating [00:36:00] to our physical bodies, to our mortality, as well as to our families and a whole network of people that see us and feel us as toxic.

Because we come with so much baggage and that can be released. People can let go of. If they choose to, but they simply have chosen to, but that some people just don't know how. And that's why when you asked me something a little while ago, I said, well, not, not really the extremes with the majority. I found that the people that really do just don't know how, and they don't have somebody they trust that can escort them through.

Because you may have the ability. But if I don't trust you, I'm not going to talk to you and I'll just keep it to myself. If you're the only thing going. And then how do you [00:37:00] recommend doing that? Cause I mean, how many people, myself included. I want to let go of some things, but they're just holding on.

It's not that I don't want to, it's not that I haven't talked about them. So for myself and the listeners who have just stuff that we can't get rid of yet, we haven't been able to yet, how do we let that stuff go? How do we move on? Again, I go to, if you're not comfortable with another person, intrinsically for me, go to God.

For a person who is a non believer, you go within yourself and ask yourself those tough questions. Why won't you let go? And when you ask yourself, even as a non believer, why won't I let this go? Why does it keep coming up? The answer resonates within your spirit that you know it's really you. So what is it that you will address about yourself that will help you to release?[00:38:00] 

That piece of luggage. It's there. And you keep picking it up. You put it in the corner. Oh, now you put it in the closet. And now you close the door on the closet and put clothes in front of it so you won't see it, but you know it's still there. You have to go in there, grab it out, open it, and address what's inside.

Even as non believers, you have to address yourself. And inside, I believe that God created everyone in His image. And so deep inside, there's a God seed and there is peace deep inside waiting to sprout. And if you want that seed, of peace to sprout, you have to nurture it. You can't expect others to do that for you, but then there are others that can assist you.

I [00:39:00] can assist you. I will say, you know, text me, email me, go to my social media or whatever, message me, and just go ahead and get to the gut bucket crux of it. What is it that is really the problem? And when you address that, then I might ask another question, but the bottom line is, why won't you let go of the suitcase?

Or if you let it go, why do you keep picking it back up? And if you can answer that question, then you're well on your way to that true release and deliverance. Why won't you? And no one can answer that question but self. You can attend a hundred seminars and workshops, talk to a thousand coaches. You can sit under 50, [00:40:00] 000 sermons and Bible studies and lectures, whatever, whatever.

But until you decide to address Why? I should say, what is your why? I write about that a lot in my daily devotions. I'm always asking why? It's all about purpose. You address it. The answer is in you. So, this has been a great episode, and I know we have more to come. Normally we, this is more topical, and you know, how to, solution oriented.

That's great. We kind of skipped, though, you. Like, your story, we went, you had a great upbringing, parents. From your childhood to today, just bring us quickly through your journey, Barbara, so we can see How you came to this place and, you know, your journey. And when people connect to you, they can better understand themselves.

That really is loaded. That's [00:41:00] loaded. Welcome to the Remarkable People Podcast. So I'm going to roll it in various directions. It may not be chronological, but it will be real. I can assure you that the first thing that, that I thought of is how. Even though I've always known what I wanted to do, be a teacher, be a a person that's close to God, whatever you wanna call it, that's still in me.

That's a passion in me. That's my identity. But I let other people control my thinking. I let other people tell me who I was. And who I wasn't, even though they did literally point their finger at me and tell me that. Because of non verbal or this or that, I let [00:42:00] people make me think I couldn't. I had a, professor in college, in my undergraduate, I was working to get a degree as a special education teacher.

And my methodology teacher. You do your practice lessons in front of the class. I presented to the best of my ability and in her response to me afterward in front of the whole class, I felt like sliding under the chair. She told me that I would never make A good teacher because my voice would scare the children.

Mm-Hmm. It was like, what can I do to change my voice because this is the voice that I have. And so for another couple of years I walked around talking to people, and one day my mom finally [00:43:00] asked me Why you start talking like that? And that what I had done was pitched my voice to be false. And I was just talking so that I wasn't scared of children.

And that came from her. So if my genetics give me the voice that I have, then how I had to decide, can I use who it is that I am to portray what it needs to portray? That's just one example of listening to others. In ministry. Being a female coming up in a world of male domination, and then I crossed that threshold and went for it anyway, and here I am today still doing whatever, and in that line, seeing and understanding and trying to please.

So that I would be accepted. That's another piece [00:44:00] of it. Not going to go into a whole lot of detail because we're trying to fast forward it here, but you can see as a young adult in college, I might've been around 19, 20 years old and was told that my voice would scare people. And then people that I was in ministry working under or working with I allowed them to, to make me feel like I had to do ministry a certain way in order to be like, for life.

The tradition. And so the ministry that I do, I know is out of the box, which is why my logo is the way that it is. It's butterflies coming out of a box because that's me, you, and anybody else that doesn't need to be confined by what the world expects. And so my personal story even ends in, in talking about, being married and [00:45:00] dealing with all of that and dealing with the marriage not succeeding, coming out of that and still doing ministry.

The, the, it has a lot to do with being full time ministry, being full time teacher in the public school. Cause I did actually become a reading specialist and retired from that. Oh my gosh, there's so many things where people tell you what you can't do, but because of who it is that I am, and I'm going to say genetically, because in my family, we've always, we know who we are in my family.

We know that there are certain expectations of you. You are a field. That's why I still have that F. In my name, Barbara Arlene Fields Breon, put that F in there. I am who it is that I am. I don't want to take that out because that's a key piece for me to remember upon whose shoulders I stand. [00:46:00] That's important to me.

And so there are people that don't have that. I let Other people. And that, that's the resonating theme here. Who are you letting control who you become? Who are you allowing to speak into you what you can't do? Where my parents and my siblings and my extended family being in the genetic sense of those who share the same bloodline that I do, that I grew up knowing, always knowing my people.

There's a certain expectation that you will succeed. You will do better than what I did. I think I was the first person in my family to earn a doctorate degree, you know, and my, my father was the, the first African American to be a supervisor in that particular position of his job. At the Norfolk [00:47:00] Naval Base.

My mother was the first person, African American person to be a division manager at Sears Roebuck Company in, in Norfolk, Virginia. And so this whole thing in me to, you know, you can't tell me what I can't do. How dare you try to tell me I can't. If it's not the best idea, that's different, but you can't tell me I can't.

So I go to God because of my faith and say, Lord, do you want this? Lord, how do I, Lord, who do I go to, to assist me with this? And so you don't necessarily tell anybody everything, but God will always show you who to go to for everything. And it will be somebody different. It may not always be in the same package, in the same container.

So as I look back from my [00:48:00] childhood, And through my, through my young adult years, that was turbulent. And I don't generally publicly speak about it. I've really never, never publicly spoken about it. But the teen years and early young adult years were, I would say at this point looking back, traumatic, but I didn't realize going through it that it was because I was sick.

I had a dreaded disease. And it was very painful.

And every time the doctors thought they had fixed it within a few months, it came back. And so a lot of what people thought they saw in me in those days wasn't what they thought they saw. It was my camouflaging physical and literal [00:49:00] pain. And so in my later adult years, I've been more healthy than I was in those days.

And for most people is the other way around and go to the doctor and get a clean bill of health. But, but those were turbulent times in time and sense of, of navigating purpose. And despite those things, those physical barriers, And despite those mental barriers of allowing people to tell me what I couldn't do, you know, there's this streak in me that comes, I think, from my family line, you know, if it's difficult, address it, admit it, get the help that you need, do what you need to do and get it done.

So what, how can I help you? What do you need? [00:50:00] I remember my dad getting ready to go for a promotion. He was always getting ready to go for a promotion. Keep that in mind. He was always getting ready to go for a promotion because he wanted to make more money to take care of his family. And then he had to take these tests to go along with whatever and he didn't have the skill set.

My sister was a whiz at math and he actually had my sister tutoring him at home in these skills to teach him what he needed so he could pass these tests for his job and make more money to save his family, to take care of his family. And so I don't listen to people telling me about what they can't do.

I think about ways that you can, if you get the resources. That God makes available because he owns not only the cattle among a thousand hills upon [00:51:00] a thousand hills, but he created the hill. Yeah. All of that. I could go on and on and on, but there's a lot that I've been through to get to where I am. And to help other people do that with themselves, for themselves, within their families, within their communities, to make this world even better.

And we can experience heaven right here on earth. Give us this day our daily bread and we do say the Lord's Prayer and you know but there's this thing about heaven right here in the name of Jesus, I believe every syllable of what I'm saying. Yeah, and I agree with you completely that we can have peace and joy despite the most traumatic circumstances we're going through.[00:52:00] 

And, you know, the people say you're either have gone through something, you are going through something, you're about to go through something, and our, and our life's like that. But you, I believe, really connected with listeners. When you were discussing, you were physically ill and, it's hard enough to be positive and move forward or it's, it's easy or it's far easier to be positive and uplifting when you feel great.

But you know, if you have a cold a couple days, you start getting cranky, you get the flu for a week or two, you get cranky. You have a long-term illness. It's tough to stay positive. So for the people dealing. With pain and physical barriers of illness, what kind of advice do you have for them, Barbara, to help them kind of, because to me, I know it's mindset.

When my mind's right, it's it's it. So what advice do you have for people to flop that paradigm and get right back on the right mindset? For me, [00:53:00] in dealing with that pain, I actually, since it wasn't gonna go away, I gave it a name. And the pain itself had a name. I called it Indy. And Indy like Indiana Jones?

Indy as in short for endometriosis. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. I gave it a name. It's real. It's not going anywhere. You cut, cut, cut. It comes back. It comes back. And even my doctor said that it was the most aggressive case that he had ever experienced in his practice. I ran into him, years later, after it was all said and done.

He was retired and he asked me how I was doing and all of that. And he he wrote for medical journals. He said, I really should have written about that case because it's the [00:54:00] worst one I ever saw. I never saw one that bad again. But I say, I named it. That's what, what I talk about, addressing whatever the frailties and the problems are, address it, name it.

You don't have to go to the extreme that I did, but I gave it a name because it didn't go away. And, and then giving it a name, I talked to it. It was real. And so that whole idea of, of releasing and journaling and having a, a accountability partner, having someone to talk to if you feel like there's nobody there, talk to the situation, but at least you're expressing it.

That's a, that's a first step. And so as, as it would ease up, sometimes I would go through a day and realize, wow, I didn't hurt today. And that to me was worth a celebration because there was a day with no pain. Those were [00:55:00] rare, but talk to it. Talk to the situation. Address it. That's a start. Don't avoid it.

Don't evade what's obvious. There's an elephant in the room. Talk to it. Address it. Deal with it. Even if it's personal and private. At least it's step one, getting it out there. There's something about telling your story, getting it out there, being expressive, get it out, talk about it, even if, like I did, name, I named it, E N D Y, ending, short for endometriosis.

God has been good to me. He's brought me through various kinds of, of physical situations. And I always reflect on that. If I went through that when I didn't even really [00:56:00] understand what was happening to me and I survived and I accomplished this, that, and the other, then why not go ahead and do something else.

Here I am in my retirement creating podcasts and creating, what do you call them? Digital apps and all this kind of technological stuff. And were those my goals? No, but those were my how to's in order to do what God told me to do. Go ye therefore and preach, teach to everybody, everywhere. You know, go everywhere.

Okay. So now I'm understanding that because of actually, because of COVID 19, I realized that going everywhere which I ha I am a COVID survivor. Right. And so in those days, okay, I can use technology. Even while I can't get to people to get to people and express and still [00:57:00] stand upon the mountain and proclaim his holy name, I can still do that.

And so every time he gives me an opportunity or another platform, I want to learn how to use it. I want to stand tall on that mountain and proclaim if that's what he gave me to do. Beautiful. So Barbara, we've covered a lot of topics. And I don't want to miss anything that God's put on your heart. Between your birth and today, is there anything we miss in your story that you feel led to share before we transition to where are you today and where are you heading next?

So how me and the listeners can help you now? Well, always that, that one thing is always remember to relax and enjoy being, and I'll put an exclamation point behind being. That's not an incomplete sentence. Enjoy being. There's something about the theology of [00:58:00] existing. You can just relax and enjoy being alive.

In him, I live, breathe, move, and have my very being. To be able to know that one of the things that you like is just looking at the clouds and looking at the different shapes. Take a moment and look up. I like nature. Just stop for a moment when you walk past and look at the flower for an extra five seconds and appreciate that is a gorgeous shade of purple or yellow.

You see the bumblebee buzzing. Don't run from it. Stop and look at it. Suck the nectar from the plant. Just relax more. Find five or ten minutes in every day simply to relax. And be. And some of that peace that surpasses all understanding will come to you in those moments. That's a key part of purpose.

Peace. [00:59:00] And relaxing. And enjoying life.

That's great advice. And that's something, especially our culture, we're so distracted. We're so busy. And 90 percent of it is useless. And unnecessary. We're distracted on focusing on the wrong goals or running the race that somebody else laid out for us or what society said we should quote unquote should be doing.

So I think that advice is beautiful. Just relax and enjoy being, just be still and know that I'm God. Amen. All right. So where's Barbara today? Where are you heading next? How can we get ahold of you and how can we help you? Well, now, where I'm, where I am now is in the midst of book touring. I have four books that I have the privilege of authoring with the Lord's [01:00:00] help.

And they're all about discipleship, disciple making, developing intimacy with God, each of them in succession leading toward the other. The last Dealing With Adversity is actually called Beyond Adversity, Chronicles of Trailblazing Women. I wrote one chapter in a book where the visionary of that project, Andrina Phillips, asked me to write something because she considered me a trailblazing woman.

And so I wrote about a pivotal time in my life where I, stepped outside of a box and where I actually moved beyond adversity. I moved from my area of urban ness to rural ness and you can read more about that in the book. How can you help me download my digital app? It's free, you know go on my [01:01:00] Amazon page, amazon.

com and order my books that that would help me because my content in the app, my content in the books, my content on the podcast, which is my YouTube channel, Favorite by the Father Ministries YouTube channel. All the content is about guiding people to purpose. And fulfilling and growing in grace, which is God's special favor.

So, favoritebythefather. com is my, website, which is right now being rebuilt. I wanted a fresh new look, so someone is rebuilding it, that as we speak, but the domain is the same, will be the same, favoritebythefather. com. My website, my Amazon page is, put my name in for the author, Barbara A. F.

Brion, Barbara Brion. Digital app, Fabled by the Father Ministries. With, [01:02:00] and then my YouTube channel again, favored by the father ministries. I'm all over social media, so you can look me up with my, link tree or you could look me up with all of the social media, you know, what is that? LinkedIn and yeah, all the different platforms and we'll put a link.

All different ones. Yeah. Put my name in. It's like, Google me, I'll pop up somewhere, but to me, but my email address is favored greet at gmail. com. And I generally look at that regularly because I do encourage people to reach out to me individually so that I can reply back. And within 24 48 hours, I should be getting back to you.

So if I don't hit me again, because in a plethora of emails, I may have missed it. So just hit me a second time. All right. Yeah. And like always, ladies and gentlemen, we'll put all of Barbara's notes in the show notes section of your [01:03:00] podcast player, the website where you're watching this. However, I won't put the email address in because I don't want a bot to get in and spam the crap out of you.

So, the email address, Barbara, repeat that again for our real human listeners so an AI bot doesn't capture it. favoredbree at gmail. com f a v o r e d b r e h at gmail. com. There you go. So now you get the email, everything else will be in the show notes, and worst case scenario, just reach out to her on her website, contact us page, or LinkedIn, or social media, and she'll still get back to you.

Well, Barbara, it's been a true honor to spend this morning with you today, or afternoon, or evening, depending on where the listeners are. I really am thankful for your time that we met. And is there anything else, any final thoughts or parting words before we end this episode that you want to share with our community?

I am appreciative of the opportunity to share and even in digging up some of my past [01:04:00] even in dealing with my old friend, Indy. has helped me to grow beyond some adversities and to develop a better relationship with the Lord. So, even in my sharing, my articulating, my expressing today, trying to help somebody else, has helped me to realize, There's something that I need to get a grip on so that I can move a little bit closer to God.

Amen. And thank you for sharing that with our community. I know that was very special and I'm glad, you know, it'll be a catalyst in your life to grow even more. And ladies and gentlemen, for Barbara, for me, for you, we're never going to be there. Quote unquote, when we get it all right, we'll be with our Holy Father in eternity.

Right? But on this earth, we're going to keep screwing up, but a just man falleth seven times and riseth up again. So I'm growing, Barbara's growing, you're growing, but let's do it with God and do it with each other and help along the way. So Barbara, I really appreciate you. Thank you again for [01:05:00] being here today.

Thank you very, very much. I appreciate you as well. Yes. And ladies and gentlemen, like our slogan says, don't just listen to great information that Barbara brought you, but do it. Repeat it each day so you can have a great life in this world, but most importantly, an eternity to come. So, I'm David Pasqualone.

This is our good friend and remarkable friend, Barbara Breon. And pronounce it correct, right? Breon, like Leon, right? That's it, Breon. Yeah. I'm dyslexic, so names screw with my head. So anyways, reach out to her, reach out to me if you need help and we love you. And we'll see you in the next episode. Ciao.

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